{"sf1_id":811125,"sf2_id":null,"title":"So Sinks in The Harshness of LIfe","author":"StGeorgesHorse","words":2563,"posted_at":"2015-01-24T17:28:00.000Z","tags":["Emotional","Human","Pain","Plot Development","Rage","Sorrow","Story Progression","Werewolf","anger"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/811125-so-sinks-in-the-harshness-of-life","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/view/811125","image_url":"https://www.sofurryfiles.com/std/thumb?page=811125\u0026ext=.jpg","description":"#89 of The Moonrise Chronicles","content":"                \"Edward?\"\nVerona's voice was a mere whisper.\n                \"What?\"\nHis voice was throaty and full of pain.\n                \"What\nhappened back there?\"\n                \"She\ntook matters into her own hands. I tried to avoid it, but it seems that my\nattempt was doomed to failure right from the start.\"\n                \"I\ndon't understand.\"\n                He\ngroaned.\"Neither do I. All I was trying to do was avoid heartache and here she\nwent and got angry with me. I wasn't trying to be macho. I was just trying to\nhelp.\"\n                \"I know\nsweetie. Life does seem to have thrown you through the ringer hasn't it?\"\n                He\nlapsed back into silence. There was still a considerable distance to cover\nbefore they got home. Anna was recovering, and while no one else had been seriously\nharmed, the tragedy was sinking in to all of them like a huge bruise. \n                Billie\nwas driving, his fingers and knuckles white with tension. There were a few\nglances in the rearview mirror, but otherwise he kept his eyes on the road. The\ncar behind him was straining to keep up. Speed limit or no, he was hightailing\nit out of this region for good. He wasn't worried about the cops. Cops were a dime\na dozen. No, he was worried about things that could fly and tear and strip the\nflesh from your body with wicked talons. \nThey had been werewolves; well he too\nwas part werewolf. He could deal with the grounded ones, but ones that flew in\nthe air were just too much to handle.\n                The\nride how was the longest anyone had ever endured. There was too much tension\nand numbing emotions for anyone to break down yet. There was only the rumbling\nof the road as the tires kicked up stones and debris and flung it to the side.\nA slight pattering of drizzle began to coat the windshield. Lightning lit up\nthe sky overhead. It was an appropriate setting, form fitted for their mood.\n                The\noutskirts of Pittsburgh never looked so good. The drive through the city was a\nkaleidoscopic nightmare of lights, and as it had begun to rain steadily, the\nadded myriad of a thousand drops focusing the colors into tiny rainbow rivulets\nwas almost maddening.\n                The\ncars pulled up in Anna's neighborhood and everyone got out and ran up to the\nhouse. They were a sorry looking lot, and all the worse for wear emotionally. Externally,\neveryone was fine, even poor Anna, who had endured a lot of damage. Two rings\nhad wrought a minor miracle.\n                Maria\nwas hardened from life in the Siberian forests, so death was a commonplace\nthing. She had lost children and grandchildren, so she was inured against even\nsuch a personal loss as this. She took charge, making tea, and yelling at\neveryone to change their clothing. Not only was it soaked clean through, those\nwho had any to begin with, but some of it had bits and pieces of questionable stains\nand detritus on it. Verona was more than happy to get her armor off. Her every\nmove had to be calculated to avoid it touching her own skin.\n                Edward\nwatched them like it was a dream, then turned and went back outside. He was\nstill in shock and hardly aware he was still naked. He allowed the water to\nwash away the filth and the smell which had done him so little good. He could\nalmost accept the fact that she was gone, but she had stabbed him in the heart;\nno - worse; right in his tender soul. He wasn't bad. He had only tried to do\nthe only thing he knew how, in a way he saw as being best.\n                He\nswore out loud, a heavy oath that was absorbed by the sudden downpour that\ndrenched the earth and hid the tears streaming down his face. Everything they\nhad done, whether it was as lovers or as partners; it was all for naught. All\nthat time in investing his heart in her was up in a moment of smoke. He didn't\nhave Verona to turn to now. She had eyes for Alexei, and in return he had them only\nfor her.\n                Like\ncalls to like. It was so very true.\n                He felt\na hand on his shoulder. It was Billie.\n                \"Eddie,\nI'm so sorry.\"\n                \"It's\nnot your fault Billie, it was mine. I think I tried too hard.\"\n                \"I\ndon't think so. You're a good guy. I'm the one that got that stuff for her. She\ntold me to get it and I did. I had no idea she would be so stupid as to drink\nit.\"\n                Edward\nlooked up. \"You got it?\" There was a brief flash of anger in his eyes, but the\nglow faded. \"It doesn't matter. If you hadn't done it, she would have found\nanother way of getting it.\"\n                \"I\ndon't know about that. I thought she was just going to use the stuff as a\ndeterrent. That kid had a big mind in her pretty little head.\"\n                \"Yes,\nit was wasn't it?\"\n                \"Her\nmind?\"\n                \"Her\nhead. It was pretty. I don't think I told her that enough.\"\n                \"Hey,\nyou two were tight. She knew how you felt. I don't understand why she left you\nman.\"\n                The\nrain continued to pour down. \"Look Eddie, this weather sucks. I know you won't\nget sick or anything, but why don't you come inside? Her mama is going through\na rough spot too you know. You both need some moral support right now.\"\n                Disregarding\nthe proximity of the houses, Edward transformed into his darkest feral being\nand roared in frustration at the unfairness of it all. A clap of thunder masked\nmost of it, so that the neighbors only heard an especially loud boom. It still\nmanaged to rattle their nerves as much as it did the fine china.\n                He\nshrunk back down, feeling the smallest he had ever felt in his life. If it were\npossible, he would claw that mass of metal out of his head and drink his own\nbottle of silver nitrate. There was no reason for him to go on living. All he\nhad managed to do was to resurrect an old were that probably should have been\nleft in his frozen crypt. Nothing else seems to have mattered. The only thing\nthat mattered to him was gone once again.\n                The\ntime it took to walk inside felt like an indeterminable eternity.  Someone threw a towel over his shoulders, and\nAnna made no fuss when he collapsed in a chair soaking wet. Marcus crouched\ndown next to him. \"Son, you tired. We all know how hard you tried. But\nsometimes things happen because they have to happen. I think Maggie cared for\nyou deeply, and her way of showing it to you was to hurt you so that her loss\nwould be lessened.\"\n                \"If so,\nthen it didn't work. She made it worse.\"\n                There\nwere the sounds of sobbing in the background, and Edward knew he wasn't the\nonly one to be feeling the loss. This situation had turned into a train wreck.\nWith a sudden resolve, he stood and headed for the door, transforming as he\ndid.\n                \"Whoa\nson, where do you think you're going?\"\n                \"Get\nout of my way Marcus. I'm going back to where I found Leeds. I'm going to tear\nhis family from limb to limb and leave their remains to rot in the sun!\"\n                \"And\nthis will bring back Maggie how?\"\n                \"Nothing\nwill bring her back. But I can make the ones who caused this to pay!\"\n                The\ntension in the room was mounting. \"Edward. Think. Maggie gave her life so that\nthis would be over. If you go out and start it all up again, then she died for\nnothing. Is that what you want? For her life and death to have been\nmeaningless?\"\n                \"It\nwasn't meaningless. It was a wonderful life and now it's gone, snuffed out\nbefore she even had a chance to live it to the fullest!\" His eyes were glowing.\n                \"We all\nlose people we love Edward. Don't you think you should spend some time with\nthose you have, those who have only just come back into your life?\"\n                Edward\nturned to look at his parents. He had known they were still alive. It had to\nhave been some holdover from is time in Russia, for the thought that they still\nlived and breathed had come into his consciousness back then. But right now,\nseeing them only made him angrier. They had deserted him, just like Maggie's\nfamily had deserted her. They might have their reasons, but whatever they were,\nthey weren't good enough.\n                \"I wish\nnone of you any ill-will, but I am going. I never should have left. She's gone,\nand I have nothing to live for. So I might as well go out fighting.\" With a\nsurprisingly gentle motion, his huge paw opened the door handle and he stepped\nout in the rain again.\n                Billie\nstood in the open doorway and watched the form blend itself into the stormy\nnight.\n                \"Well\nfuck.\"\n                Leonardo\npushed his way to the door. Putting his hand on Billie's arm, he said through\nthe link, \"Some things have to work\nthemselves out before life can go on. I'm afraid that he is doomed to living\nwith his pain for a very long time thanks to me. But have hope. Perhaps he will\nburn off his rage in a constructive manner.\" \n                Kathryn\nwas still crying, and Anna was trying her hardest not to weep. Overall though,\nBillie was feeling the worst. He had bought this stuff for the kid, and then\nshe had gone and used it destructively. He thought he had known her plan, but\ndrinking a bottle of poison hadn't been in his version of it. There was a\nreason she hadn't told him everything. One of these days he was going to have\nto learn to go with his gut instincts. If it didn't seem right, it probably\nwasn't. \nHe needed a drink.\n\"Who wants some booze? I know I\ndo.\"\nThe rain was pouring down in\nbuckets as the huge werewolf tore through the streets and out into the\nsurrounding suburbs. He didn't have a specific location he was heading to, just\neast for the moment. He knew the smell of the Kindred, and no matter what form\nthey might assume, he would track them down. So much was engraved upon his\nmemory that the only way of removing it was to remove the cause. If that didn't\nwork, he would tear his own head off to be rid of the memories.\nHe tore across a road, forcing a\ncar to veer and slam on its brakes. The occupants only saw a dark shape\nilluminated in their headlights and reported to the police that someone had a\nhorse running loose in the storm.\nOn he went, tearing up the ground\nwith all the rage of Cerberus, leaping now and again to test the limits of his\nform. Canines where not designed for leaping, not like cats were, but a few\nadjustments to his form made him faster and more agile. He intended to catch\nthe Kindred from the air like they were little butterflies. And then he was\ngoing to rip their wings off and force feed their body parts to them. \nSomewhere north of the picnic\ngrounds was a pack of wolves, sticking to the woods and avoiding the eyes of\nhumans. They had come as called, and now they returned to their human captors.\nThey knew these humans meant well, but there was as strong desire to stay here\nin the wilds. However there were members still back there, nursing their cubs\nand waiting for the rest to return. If they did not, the humans would likely\nlose their minds at managing to have their sanctuary emptied once again. But\nwhen the leaders called, all must answer. The female Alpha had asked for their\npresence, and so they came.\nThe Alpha had told them to come as\na show of strength, though what strength the pack had against these far\nsuperior creatures they did not know. Now it was over too quickly, and the trek\nback was miserable and wet. Wolf lives were short, and as one they were glad\nthey had no such troubles as these creatures had to deal with.\nBack in Pittsburgh, things weren't\nmuch better. Billie helped Leo pack up the armor  since he didn't need any special gloves to\ntouch it. Retrieving the crate in this rain wasn't much fun, but after\neverything that had happened, it was a simple and readily acceptable task.\nBillie found a note, stashed there by Maggie no doubt. He stuck it in his pocket\nfor a private reading later.\nOnce the crate was closed, he went\nto the bathroom, locked the door and pulled the wet slip of paper out to read the\nquickly scrawled message.\nBillie,\nI'm\nso sorry for everything that has happened if you're reading this. It means that\nI did what I felt I had to do. Tell Edward not to fret, for I really do love\nhim. He is an ass sometimes, but not in a bad way. I wish everyone the best,\nand I want you to know that you didn't do anything wrong. You did good Billie.\nSometimes life just needs an extreme course change, and I was the one who had\nher hands on the wheel when it became necessary. One person dying is better\nthan many dying.\nLove\nMaggie.\nHe read it twice before throwing it\nin the toilet and flushing.  He watched\nit swirl a few times before disappearing down the porcelain abyss. No one\nneeded to know about it. It would only raise more questions; questions which as\nusual he would have no good answers for.\nHe came back to the living room and\nresumed hitting the bottle. Maria came over and gave him a kiss on the top of\nhis head, but even that did little to assuage his guilt. He would have rather\ndied than have anyone else perish, and that went double for the girl. She was\nsmart, witty, bright, and Edward had been lucky to have her. She was young\nlooking, but in human years she had been old enough. Werewolves tended to\noutlive the normal people who scurried about in their short ordinary lives. But\nthat mattered not. She was gone in a puff of smoke.\nOut in the downpour, Edward slowed\nhis stride for nothing.  In the morning,\nwhen road crews came to assess the damage from the storm, a few of the trees\nlittering the roadways had not been downed by high winds. He was now back at\nthe park, in one fifth the time it had taken him taking the bus. His head was\nbuzzing with rage, seething at the horror of living alone. He was consumed with\nanger. Somewhere in all this his mind shut down. He forgot who he was. It was\nlike Russia all over again.\nHis howl shattered the night."}