{"sf1_id":816215,"sf2_id":null,"title":"The Dogs: Litany - Episode V","author":"Aux Chiens","words":7521,"posted_at":"2015-02-06T05:02:00.000Z","tags":["Alcohol","Anal","Brothers","Character Development","Drinking","Gay Relationships","Hugging","Human","M/M","Male","Male Pregnancy","Plot Development","Secrets","Story Progression","Transformation","comfort"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/816215-the-dogs-litany-episode-v","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/view/816215","image_url":"https://www.sofurryfiles.com/std/thumb?page=816215\u0026ext=.jpg","description":"","content":"            Andrew shut the door behind\nhim, hearing, as he did the first evening he and Bligh spent together as\nlovers, the sound of metal going into metal, demarcating him from the rest of\nthe world. Behind the door was a secret, sacred solidarity - and now he was out\nin the world, alone.            As he paced down the steps\nand into the parking lot, the near-starless Tampa suburban sky a satiny purple\nabove him, he felt, for the first time since, in fact, Bligh had given Cody the\ngift of half-doghood the day before he did so to Andrew - betrayed. Bligh had\nmade this relationship between he and Cody about a sacred bond that had\ntranscended time and distance - about forgiving Andrew for his indiscretions\nthat had accumulated in his then-new life in Tampa, and Andrew in turn\nforgiving Bligh for his confused rampage when he had first arrive here a month\nago.            But it had all been built\non a lie.            That was too strong a word,\nperhaps - lie. It was a withholding of truth - an omission, not\nan outright lie, not Bligh telling him he had been waiting lonely and alone\nonly for Andrew, that was clearly not true in either case, Bligh's dalliance\nwith Dan Dorsey was proof enough of that. Andrew had not been irrationally\njealous or territorial - his reaction to that news was too blunted by the\nother, much more catastrophic revelations about Bligh's new species, and with\nthe weeks he had forgotten it as a tragedy, a cautionary tale of how the three\nof them had to be responsible, above all else, with their new biology.            But Stephen - was when Bligh was human. The Bligh who Andrew had known\nand loved, in secret. He had kept it together - he had almost faltered, but he\nhad kept it together - as he left the apartment...he did not want to make a\nscene, not in front of Cody, Cody pregnant with his and Bligh's pups, he had to\nbe strong...            ...and he tired so, of being\nstrong.            He was unready for\neverything - for seeing his brother again, for his brother finding out his true\nnature, for Cody's heartwish to be pregnant even as a male to actually come true - there was no way to\nprepare for this, no manual, no Google, to tell him what to do.            He was solitary in his\nstruggle - as he had been when he moved to Florida the first time. The irony\nwas inescapable, bitter, remorseless. He had wanted a new life but, in a very\nreal way, he was back to where he started.            He paused for a moment,\ntaking a deep breath - the crickets still sang their song, somewhere far off a\ncar roared quietly down a side street. He lived in this world as much as the\nworld would never accommodate or even acknowledge him - and so he would rebel.             He would go to his\napartment's pool, doubtless unlocked by the lazy security guard, take off his\nshoes to reveal the concealed canid footpaws, and soak them in the nearby\noutdoor hot tub.             He wanted to be himself -\nnot Bligh's bitch, not Stephen's brother, not Cody's husband - himself, only.\nIf not human - then at least, himself, only.            As he neared the apartment\npool at last, he saw, submerged in the hot tub, what looked to be a shortish,\nscrawny figure holding a beer bottle in his mouth, no hands, tilting back\nagainst the concrete edge. He was puzzled as to why someone would drink alcohol\nin such a needlessly harmful way - until he realized who it probably was.                \"Hey - hey - S-Stephen?\"                The shadowy figure in the\nhot tub slithered in the bubbling water - a broken, unkind chortle answered\nAndrew's call, and he sighed, harsh and irritated as he approached the pool\narea.                 \"Hey, hey, hey!\"\nStephen called, holding up the beer bottle, his mischievous grin of infinite\njest gracing his mouth. \"Look at me!\" He took a long glug of beer,\nand then, with a harsh swallow: \"New juice for the hot tub freaks!\"                \"What the fuck are you\ntalking about?\"                Stephen sneered. \"It's\na song, geez, why do you hate music?\"                \"Stephen, get out your\nass outta there - you ain't supposed to be in there, you ain't a resident--\"                \"But I'm your guest,\nright?\" He smiled again - there was a cruelty to the mischief that enraged\nAndrew.            \"Get out of there, now.\" He let out a harsh sigh. \"Already ruined enough, dammit to Hell--\"            \"Oh shut the fuck up, I\ndidn't ruin shit.\" Stephen answered\nlanguidly, floating away to the corner, knocking the now-empty bottle of beer\ninto the hot tub, where, as he held it down, it sank. \"If anything Bligh ruined shit, calling me a--\"            \"No - no, fuck you,\nokay? You shoulda just kept your goddam mouth shut, for once! Nobody asked you to--\"            Up from the water, with a\nloud splash, came Stephen's arm, with an accusing finger - he pointed it up at\nAndrew's face, firm, behind a glare that shot daggers. \"Nobody needed to! I'm the only family you have,\nfucker. If I wanna come over to your\nhouse I fucking will. Don't forget we\nused to live in the same house!\"            Andrew felt his hands ball\nup in a helpless frustration, and he brought them to the sides of his head, his\nears inside his hat twitching furiously, clenching his teeth, shutting his eyes\n- his whole being became a searing fire of frustration.             \"G-God - d-dammit - Stephen!\"            He heard his brother's arm\nsplash back into the hot tub - his eyes flew open to see Stephen, wet and\nglistening in the griseous light of the apartments above him, the sapphire eyes\nthat they both shared seeming to burn even in the dripping blackness of the\nchlorinated water.            \"Damn me all the fuck you want,\" Stephen said\nquietly - there was a tinge of malice to his words, a faint violence.\n\"Bligh shoulda been honest and I figured\nhe was gonna be honest but he wasn't - how the fuck is any of that my fault? It\nwasn't my responsibility to tell you shit\n-not about me, not about any o'that. He said to keep it a secret and I loved him\nand I still love him because y'all\npractically raised me, so I fucking did\n- because you had Dakota and he was\nthe only thing you ever cared about, Bligh knew that, I knew that, everybody on\nfucking Facebook knew that. I knew Bligh loved you more than me, more than\nfucking anybody, and I seriously thought you'd get yer head out of your ass and\nyou'd tell him you loved him too. And even then - before that? Fucking man-whoring around Tampa like it's going outta\nstyle, why the fuck would me, or - or Bligh - why would we tell you anything?\nWasn't gonna last anyway - and besides - who\ndidn't call or text me for six months? And who just up left the fucking family outta nowhere?\"            He took the bottle from\nbeneath him in the water and, leaning back, exhaling through his mouth in the\ncadence of an inaudible orgasm, as though his soliloquy was itself a great\nrelease, poured the bottle's contents of refiltered poolwater - new juice for the hot tub freak ­- over\nhis face.            \"How many fucking\ndrinks you had?\" Andrew muttered numbly, having borne Stephen's assault\nstoically, the creeping notion that he had been utterly routed, and that he was\nbehaving illogically and impulsively and therefore shamefully, creeping over\nhim.            Stephen finished what he\nwas doing - the last bit of water left the bottle, trickled down his face - and\nhe tilted his head forward with a raised eyebrow. The slick smile - the\ninfinite jest - returned.\n            \"I've had three beers, Drewseph - this is my third one. If you think my\ntolerance is that low, we've got bigger problems than being the mistake I evi-goddam-dently must be--\"            \"Fuck you,\"\nAndrew interrupted, immediately hurt by the remark. \"Okay? Fuck you - and\nBligh. It's not fucking fair--\"            \"Will you stop this?\" Stephen breathed out\nexasperatedly.            \"No,\" Andrew\ninsisted. \"No, no I will not. You shoulda told me - you shoulda fucking told me that he - th-that he--\"\n            There came a profound\nhesitancy in his voice, and he labored with the last words.            \"Say it,\nBrother,\" Stephen murmured, his face becoming demure, revealing nothing.\n\"Say it, I wanna hear it--\"            \"He had you - before me!\"             It was a scream, bloody and\nprimal, that ripped out of him in a comet-like blaze of agonized betrayal - he\nshut his eyes again, collapsing near-blindly to a pool chair beside him, his\nstill-balled fists going white in the knuckles before thrusting out to cover\nhis face in something that almost felt like shame. He felt the first sob erupt,\ninvoluntarily, and he tried to choke it back, but it sputtered forth like a\npoorly-dammed river, and soon he was crying, his suppressed wails making his\nhands moist and slimy with free-flowing tears and mucous.            He knew what the strange\nfeeling was, the strange feeling that was shaped like shame inside him - it was\nshame that he was reacting like this, shame that he would have been so\nhysterical and felt so deeply betrayed at something that had happened so long ago...he\nhad forgiven Bligh everything, but somehow he could not forgive him the selfish\nsin of trying to be happy in his absence.             It sickened him - his own\nreactions, far more than Bligh's original actions.            He did not know long it\ntook him to stop crying - it did not seem like long at all, five minutes\nperhaps at most, and as the sobs abated he took his hands off his face...he\nlooked down at them, slippery, faintly luminous, before shaking his head in\ndisgust and wiping them on his shirt.            \"F-fuck,\" he\nmuttered to himself. \"Fuck - fuck...\"            He heard another splash,\nand looked up to see Stephen emerging from the hot tub - he watched him as he\npicked up his shirt that been discarded on the concrete some feet away, and\nmopped himself with it, and kept his eyes trained on him as he neared where\nAndrew was sitting.            Stephen paused a safe\ndistance away, cocking his head, and Andrew could feel the awkwardness mount\nbetween them once again - he felt the sting of Stephen's final words the last\nday he was in Typhoon once again, and his hand made the involuntary motion to\nhis cheek where Stephen had kissed it, years ago.            \"Feel better?\"\nStephen asked, still demure.            Andrew hesitated before\nshrugging. \"N-not - no, not really.\" Andrew stared at his brother,\nthe hand at his cheek falling on his knee - he shook his head.\n\"What's...done is...done.\"            \"I bled.\"            Andrew's head jerked up,\nexpecting some sort of cruelty forming in Stephen's mouth, something to tell\nhim this was Stephen just being Stephen, unwilling or unable to empathize - the\nsadistic streak that he had learned as a boy, mocked and isolated for most of\nhis life, coming through even to his own family.            But there was none. Stephen\nlooked as though he was talking about the weather.             \"Wha - what?\"            \"I bled,\" Stephen\nrepeated. \"Bligh's hung - you know that - and there was that joke, only it\nwasn't a joke it was real, that he\nhad the biggest dick in the county, well - yeah - he did - does, I guess.\" He\npaused as the words sank into Andrew, knowing full well the roiling pitch of near-nausea\nthat had developed in the bottom of his brother's stomach. \"I bled,\"\nhe added, near-whispering, as though in reverence. \"He kept asking me\nbefore, yanno, whether - whether I wanted to do this, he was scared of hurting\nme, but--\" He shrugged, a slight gesture. \"I wanted it - I wanted him\n- and - yeah he hurt me, yeah - I\nbled.\"            Andrew recoiled. \"I -\nI...\"            \"And dude - just\nlisten for a second...\" Stephen allowed himself a smile for this one - for a\nmoment, as his voice drifted off, he was not sarcastic, or bored, or mocking,\nhe was actually, unironically, happy. \"I guess it started because I\nreminded him of you? Like in the face, because--\" A small laugh, as though\nhe was cued to do so. \"We ain't exactly twins, but--\" Another laugh\ngathered in Stephen's throat. \"He - was very - uh, what's the word - considerate of me - I just laid there\nafter we did it, in his bed, and he brought me toilet paper and kissed my head\nand kept saying he was sorry - but, uh - when we were doing it, he never called\nme by your name or anything like I thought he was going to...the entire time, it\nwas fuck yeah, Stevie--\"             Andrew hung his head.\n\"Why the Hell are you doing to this me, Brother? The fuck did I ever do to\nyou--?\" He whispered it, thrusting a hand under his cap to still his\ntwitching ears. \"You said you missed\nit? If you knew - dude, if you really, really knew why would stab me in the\nback like that?\"            \"Yeah, I missed him, I\nmissed him and me hanging out and I miss him being - yanno - like that with me. He's hot, I'm gonna\nlie to you, yeah, but Drewseph--\" He leaned forward. \"He was yours - he still is. He was never mine.\nAnd even when he was with me he - he was still lonely.\" He paused, and\nwhat seemed like an unpleasant epiphany crossed his face. \"So...maybe he was\nright - maybe it was kind of a\nmistake...\"            \"He said nobody gave a\nshit...\"            \"A few people did. Gus\ndid - I did - Duke - though ain't nobody gonna believe, yeah, he...gave a shit\ntoo. But that - they, we - didn't matter, dude - none of it mattered. Because the one person who was supposed be giving shit - you ­­- you seemed like you didn't.\"            It was an old wound, a wound\nthat had healed, imperfectly but still completely, in the month since Bligh had\ncome to Florida, and Andrew could feel it redden and become wet again - the\nguilt, the old guilt, of leaving Bligh behind.            \"He's my\nex-boyfriend,\" Stephen said matter-of-factly. \"Because I dumped him.\"             Andrew was taken aback.\n\"You - you did?\"            \"Because I knew,\"\nStephen said, still leaning forward. \"The only reason we ever did stuff -\nthe only reason we - the only reason he fucked me was because he couldn't fuck you - he finished in me\nand made me walk funny because he wanted you\nall this time and you can lie to yourself that he didn't for some stupid\nreason--\" Andrew felt his brother's face brush, still damp, against cheek.\n\"But you were the one he wanted\nall this time, and he fucked me,\" he repeated, \"because he couldn't - fuck - you.\"             Andrew's head slowly came\nup, and to the side, to see Stephen, the shirt he had dried himself with about\nhis neck, looking at him with the same raised eyebrow he himself would use on\nother people.            \"I just - he acted so cold to me - trying to - act like\nnothing happened...calling me a mistake that\n- that hurt, dude, that - it still hurts...\"            \"H-he - he kissed your\n- your forehead?\" Andrew acted as though he had not heard him.            Stephen pointed to a spot\nperhaps an inch above his nose - Andrew nodded, feeling a debilitating surge of\nsorrow cut through him.            \"He - he does that to\nme, t-too - he - didn't do it the first time, but when he - he's afraid he's\nhurt me...when we...\"            He did not finish the sentence\n- he did not need to.        Instead, in the fleeting\nseconds that it took for Stephen to rise back up and look down at him, he\nimagined his brother, and Bligh - old Bligh, human Bligh, when Bligh was an\nanimal only in spirit - together, making love in Bligh's bed at Pappy's house\nwhere Andrew had slept, many nights...he imagined Stephen's face in agony, but\nexquisite agony, on his back, as Bligh, hatless, feathery black hair swaying\nwith the motions, thrust into him with his magnificent penis, damaging Stephen,\nruining Stephen, claiming Stephen, his own brother, when it should have been him all along...            \"Stop thinking about\nme and him,\" Stephen said - Andrew jerked his head to him, blushing so\nhotly he was sure his own skin should melt away. Stephen's smile was demure and\ncruel - the expression he wore when he knew he was right. \"First of all,\nthat's incest, second--\"            \"I wasn't thinking\nabout you!\"            \"You can't fool me - c'mon, I saw that face.\"            \"You're so f-fucking irritating,\" Andrew\ngroaned.            \"Thank you, I try to\nmake it a fulltime job.\"            \"Shut the fuck up. It\nburns me up to think about him with anybody else, how the Hell you expect me--?\"            \"Okay, but weren't you\nin the same boat, though? Like - a new dude every week, for like, two years,\neven.\" A sudden thought seemed to occur to Stephen, and he grinned, as\nthough proud. \"You were lonely,\nand you couldn't face him--\"            A cold wash of guilt swept\nover Andrew as he winced. \"M-maybe, I - I didn't consciously--\"            \"Well neither did\nhe!\" Stephen offered. \"You'd believe him any other time I'm sure--\"            \"I do believe him,\" Andrew said\nbegrudgingly. \"I believe - I b-believe you, and - everything - that's not\nwhat this is about, it's just - fuck, man. I didn't need this tonight.\"            Stephen, who had cast\nhimself as blameless in this ordeal, seemed miffed by what his brother said,\nand he tilted his head, glancing away.            \"Maybe...\" he said\nas an aside. \"Maybe it was too - too much, yeah. It - it really wasn't my\nplace to say - when it was happening, though, you get that, right?\"            \"When what was\nhappening?\"            \"Me and him.\"            Andrew considered the\nthought as he looked into his brother's face - he sighed at some length,\nshaking his head slowly.            \"Yeah...you're right.\nThat was when - that was - sophomore year, yeah, I - I did my time with--\"            He stopped as the hazy\nmemories came back to him again - the nights that bleared together in the ice\ncubes that clinked in plastic cups, darkly opalescent in the swirling lights of\nYbor, the free money that his parents gave him down the gluttonous drains of\nhis own mouth with drinks, drinks that had exotic and thrilling and useless\nnames, that made his breath smell strange and the lips of the boys he kissed\ndelicious and unique even in their collective anonymity.            Stephen brought him back to\nthe present: \"I was going to say I was sorry...\"            Andrew sighed. \"For what?\"            \"Everything.\"            \"You wouldn't have\nmeant it,\" Andrew answered with a small smile. \"You know me, but I -\nI know you too, dude.\" Stephen rolled his eyes with a furtive, wry smile.\n\"I guess - you're right,\" Andrew continued, \"kinda - kinda,\nyeah, Bligh shoulda been honest with me - and me - I should - just - give em\nthe benefit of the doubt but...\"            A too-long silence followed\nas Andrew's voice drifted off.           He searched himself, he let\nhimself become honest with himself...and\nthere, in a shadowy corners in his brain, he found the truth, what had escaped\nhim under the sky of the parking lot where the stars had been obscured, what\nhad been hiding.            \"But...what?\" Stephen\nhad put his head back to study his brother with interest.            \"That's not what this\nis about,\" Andrew said, his voice becoming thick. \"I - I've been\nfreaking out so hard about - about shit that Bligh did because it's - it's too\nmuch, dude, I've got - so much stuff\non me right now.\"            He looked up at his\nbrother, letting him see the fear that was crackling under his skin - Stephen\nnodded at him.            \"What kinda\nstuff?\" he asked quietly.            Andrew could, he thought,\nmake up some bullshit excuse about how the change in his body - which Stephen\nknew very little of past the superficial - had been a factor, or how his grad\nschool worries had once again flared up, or how living with Bligh had been a\nhard adjustment. None of those were true - none of them - and he knew that\nStephen would see through them, and even if he couldn't, the lies must end, and\nthey must, he thought, end with him.             \"You - you need to\nknow - Stevie you can't, you can't\ntell anybody what I'm about to tell you, okay?\" He grabbed his brother's\narm in a sudden insistence. \"Okay? Promise me - please promise me.\"            Stephen looked down at his\narm, with Andrew's arm gripping it, kneading his eyebrows, before looking back\nat him, askance. \"Okay,\" he said slowly. \"Okay dude, I won't -\nbut what the fu--\"            \"He's pregnant,\"\nAndrew blurted - his anguish was becoming palpable for the both of them.            Stephen's eyebrows remained\njoined over his nose, his mouth half-open. \"Wha - who is pregnant?\"            \"C-Cody,\" Andrew\nsaid - he shut his eyes as the fear coiled around his vocal cords. \"Co - Cody's p-pregnant...\"            Stephen's expression did\nnot change for several seconds before he shook his head in a rapid motion, a\nconfused smile bursting on his face.                \"Wait - dude, what?\nAre you saying he--\"                \"We had sex,\"\nAndrew continued, opening his eyes so that he could gauge his brother's\ninevitable reaction. \"Okay? Me - and him - and Bligh - we had sex, and my\nsperm got inside him, and some of it - took.\"                Again Stephen shook his\nhead. \"Took - took, what - took?\" His eyes darted about him in\nthought. \"Took - something out of\nhim? Like--\"                \"No,\" Andrew said\nthrough gritted teeth. \"No - Stephen - no.\nMy sperm - Bligh's sperm - it - fertilized\nhim. We made him pregnant and\nhe's gonna give birth to--\"                Stephen held up a hand.\n\"What the Hell are you talking about? What the fuck kinda Bio major are you? The fuck is he, some kinda seahorse? Males don't--\"                \"Males of our species\ndo,\" Andrew said with a firmness he did not feel.                Stephen folded his arms\nacross his chest, his mouth returning to its bewildered half-open state.\n\"Drewseph...what the fuck is going on? Species - wha - what the fuck kinda\nscience fiction--\"                Without another word,\nAndrew did what, only yesterday, perhaps, was unthinkable - and lifted up his\nshirt, to show Stephen, his own brother, the physiology he had heretofore hid\ncompletely from the world.                At first it seemed as\nthough Stephen was unaware what he was looking at - there was a faint trace of\nbemusement, mocking the idea his brother's faded football player body was the\nkey to some unspoken riddle...but his eyes flickered, and he blinked several\ntimes before he peered closer.                He had seen it, Andrew knew\n- he braced himself, gritting his teeth, for whatever would befall the two of\nthem next.                \"You - have--\"\nStephen tilted his head as he mouthed counting. \"Eight? Eight - eight nipples?\"                \"Y-yeah,\" Andrew\nbreathed, his face screwing up into a grimace. \"Y-yeah - yeah, yeah. And\nyanno why? Because - because - I - we - ain't human - at all, Stephen, you need to--\" He swallowed hard. \"You\nneed to grasp that, Brother.\" There came a shudder in his voice, profound\nand desperate. \"I - I'm not human.\nMy DNA is different from - yours, from - everyone else--\" He waved his free hand feebly, to the apartments\nleering over him. \"You see? Bligh - Duke - Duke changed him and he - and then he - he came down here and he changed\nCody - he changed me too - and it ain't just\nthe ears and the fucking teeth it's--\"            Stephen looked away from\nAndrew, who stopped as he saw his brother distracted - a passing airplane had\ncaught his attention and his eyes followed it in the sky that, with the\nvelvet-purple glow of Tampa in the distant horizon, was near-totally starless.             \"So what,\" he\nsaid at last. \"That actually - that actually sounds pretty freakin cool to\nme.\" His head went back to Andrew who stared at him, aghast. \"I mean,\nlike - you're the science-guy, and you wanted to study new species and um, are\nyou still into that thing where you wanted a bug named after you or\nwhatever?\"            Andrew gave a short sigh.\n\"It was a moth, and that wasn't\nexactly--\"            \"Okay well\nwhatever,\" Stephen cut him off. \"You still - you wanted to study new\nspecies and now - now you're the\nspecies, the new species - and uh, so is - Bligh and Dakota, too.\" He\nsmiled - oddly genuine, for him. \"How could you not think that's cool?\"            Andrew shook his head,\nputting his shirt back and clutching the bill of his cap in returning\nagitation. \"No,\" he said with fresh despair. \"No, Stephen, don't\nyou--\"            \"It'd be like people,\num, in a literature class, analyzing my writing\ninstead me analyzing somebody else's--\" He rolled his eyes. \"--for\nonce. I'm gonna be a Comparative Lit major, did I tell you that? I might double\nup with History, though, I haven't--\"            \"Are you hearing\nme?!\" Andrew held his arms out, his voice gravelly in the hoarse breaths\nof suppressed shouting. \"Are you - fucking\nhearing me?                \"I'm not deaf, I heard\nyou just fine, and I'm telling you,\nyou're being kind of a bitch right now.\"                At the word bitch Andrew visibly bristled - his back\nstraightened, his eyes setting into a steely glare.                \"Don't call me\nthat,\" he said coldly. \"Don't ever\ncall me that.\"                \"Okay, bitch,\nnow--\"                He was silenced as Andrew\nfinally rose, towering over him, the glower in his eyes never ceasing - he was\nbehaving on a directive deep within him he had never felt before, the idea that\nthe word, bitch, could be misused in\nsuch a way...that there was any question of Bligh's ownership of him, that\nsacred, alien bond the two of them shared.                 Andrew had wanted to be\nhimself - but now, he knew, he couldn't be.                He did not say anything,\nonly trained his glare on his brother, whom he loved, whom he would do anything\nfor - but whom had trespassed on something he did not understand, and was not allowed\nto pretend to know.                Stephen turned away with a\nfrown. \"Sorry then,\" he murmured. \"Just - teasing, like I - like\nto do.\"                Andrew relented - of all\nthe things he had told his brother, his hidden relationship was Bligh was, at\nlast, too much. \"I - I'm sorry, too - I'm - all over the place,\ntonight.\"                \"No kidding,\" Stephen shot back, a\nlittle hurt. \"I mean - I don't really know how to react to - well any\nof what's - what's going on, and you going nuclear ain't fucking helping.\"\n            Andrew frowned, hanging his\nhead some. \"I - I didn't mean to--\"\n            \"It's weird, okay?\"\n            \"What--\" Andrew\nlooked up. \"What is?\"\n            \"You - you, and the extra\nmammaries - the - what, are you dog - down there too?\"\n            Andrew felt his face go\nutterly hot with abrupt embarrassment, and he gave a slow, slight nod in\naffirmation.\n            Stephen looked away, as though\nstricken. \"That's weird too,\ndude,\" Stephen said with a sad frown. \"I ain't gonna lie - because -\nI mean that's what you wanted me to say, right? Because yeah - yeah, yeah it\nfucking is.\"                 Andrew nodded - it was all\nhe could do.                \"I just don't--\"\nStephen stopped, his mouth still open, the words there waiting, but he did not\nfinish...all that he seemed to be able to do, was shake his head. \"I just\ndon't wanna freak out, Drewseph.\"                \"What--?\" Andrew\nraised his eyebrows. \"What do you mean?\"                Stephen shrugged - he\nturned away from Andrew and walked back to the hot tub, to a side where he\ncould still see Andrew from that short distance, back into the bubbling water.                \"What I just say,\ndude? I don't - I don't wanna freak out - because, okay, look at you. Look at\nyou!\" He crouched down in the hot tub as though for effect. \"Being\nall emotional and shit, dude - dude, that ain't you.\"\n                He slid back, concentrating on the concrete\nfloor below him to fish out the beer bottle he had left there to continue\nplaying with it underwater, which he was now neck-deep in. He shut his eyes for\njust a moment - Andrew rose, coming to him, standing above him, deeply\nconcerned at how uncharacteristically vulnerable and honest his brother was\nbeing...attempting to right himself, consciously, into the logical person his\nbrother knew him as.                \"Stevie - Stevie\nlisten, I can explain--\"                \"You always said how -\nhow emotional Bligh is and how he'd--\" He seemed to think a moment.\n\"What was it you used to say? Fly\noff the handle? Yeah - yeah that shit. Which is stupid--\" His eyes\nflicked to Andrew, who stood over top of him, hands in pockets. \"Yeah he's\nreally emotional but - okay, because - and yanno it's probably just because y'all together finally and whatever, but dude\n- ever since you called me, I've done nothing but see you break the fuck\ndown.\" Andrew made an abortive noise to protest - Stephen stopped him.\n\"I mean what happened to - cold - scientist Andrew having to sit my ass\ndown and tell me not to blow shit up when I wanted.\"                Andrew, well in spite of\nhimself, let out an unguarded laugh.                 \"What? Dude when did\nyou ever wanna - wanna blow stuff up?\"                Stephen shrugged. \"Not\nthe point, Drewseph. Just saying, I mean - I - I wanna freak out - I do, dude.\nReally fucking hard.\"                 Andrew's smiled faded, and\nhe sighed as Stephen seemed to grow sad - parcel, but luckily not whole, to his\nworst fear.                \"Oh - Brother,\ndon't--\"                \"I'm sorry,\"\nStephen murmured, his mouth downturned. \"I - I'm - I'm sorry, I really\nwanna freak out but I - I can't, because my big brother is freaking out...\"                His brother's words - as,\nperhaps, his brother had calculated - shook him. He was right - Andrew was freaking out, something that, back\nhome, he had never, not once, seen him do.               The day he left Tempest he was unguarded and\nunsure, but Stephen had never shared this level of emotional honesty...Andrew\ncould be himself to his brother but he was always the designated strong one,\nthe one who held Stephen as he completely disintegrated the night Walker died,\nthe one who stood in for their own father as\na father.                 He had excuses, a yawning\nmass of excuses as to why he would ever act like this - and yet, too, he had no\nexcuse at all. He was so far up his own asshole - tailhole - about Stephen\nreacting that he had forgotten that Stephen would\nreact...and that it was not Stephen, an anonymous person, it was Stephen, his\nbrother, his own flesh.\n                \"Stevie...\" Andrew\nquietly begged.                Stephen shrugged again.\n\"I know - I remember now, why you looked familiar - you - y'all are like one of those dog-people from that\nbook I found and I - I wanna freak out, I do, but I can't, because you're\nfreaking out and one of us - one of us has to stay fucking sane in this\nfamily...\"                But all expression left\nAndrew's face. \"Book - book, what book--?\"                \"I told you--\"                \"No, you didn't,\"\nAndrew said, his voice serious. \"What book.\"                Stephen's downturned mouth\nset itself into another demure frown. \"So we're just gonna ignore me being\nall sweet and family-like?\"                \"What. Book.\"                Stephen sighed, sliding\nslightly further into the water with, eyes rolling. \"Take that as a yes - and - that book I told you about\nwhen you called me, remember?\"                \"No,\" Andrew\nrepeated. \"You just said there was some shit about - Moon-Eyed People, or--\"                \"Yeah and they people\nin their tribe who looked like dogs. They were, uh - the leaders, I think? They\nwere special somehow.\"                Andrew's eyes widened.\n\"You didn't tell me that!\"                \"Totally did,\ndude.\"                \"No you did not!\"                Stephen glanced away as he\nseemed to try to remember what was said that fine August day only a month ago.\n\"Oh,\" he intoned. \"Uh - right. Maybe I didn't tell you that - and who cares, it's just a little\ndetail--\"                \"It's a really fucking\nimportant detail, Stephen!\" Andrew growled.                Again came Stephen's\nshrugging shoulders. \"I forgot it at the time. Plus - uh - important\ndetail? Didn't seem it back\nthen.\" He frowned, rather bitter. \"Because someone didn't tell me--\"                \"Oh you wanted me to\njust come out and tell you, like it\nwas - like it was what I - had for dinner, or some shit?\"                 Stephen raised an eyebrow,\nstill unmoved. \"Uh, yeah! I did! C'mon dude we already had this argument\nback at your place--\"                \"God dammit, Stephen--\"                \"Will you stop acting\nlike anything is gonna make me stop loving you!\"                 Andrew was taken aback at\nhow assertive and how angry Stephen had become - once again it was as though\nhis eyes seem to burn, even in the darkness.                \"Yeah - yeah I forgot to tell you that there were\npart-dog people in the tribe that our ancestors killed off, yeah, okay, sure,\nand that's fine, it was just a small sentence and I honestly thought it was\nmade up at the time, and you're gonna get all huffy and shit because I didn't\nbring it up?\" He lifted both arms up, beer bottle still in one hand.\n\"The fuck am I gonna do now?!\nAnd besides, Drewseph--\" His arms back down to the water with a splash.\n\"I just - I just done told you, dude, why, why would you think you'd do anything that would make me - make me\nnot wanna be your brother, make me stop - stop thinking you're my best\nfriend?\"                 Andrew was wounded by the\nquestion - even more wounded when he knew how absolutely right Stephen was.\n\"Stevie - Stevie don't--\"                \"No - no. Listen to me. I'm sorry I hooked up\nwith Bligh and we had a thing for a few months, I'm sorry, that was fucked up\nof me as your brother, dude, I get it, I didn't want to regret it because\nregretting's for faggots but fuck dude\n- I regret it, I'm sorry as fuck, okay? I'm sorry Bligh - Bligh, that, that Bligh - is my ex-boyfriend. He's\nright - he's absolutely fucking right, I'm a goddam mistake, and I'm sorry I\nbrought it up tonight, but Drewseph--\" He moved through the water to come\nto Andrew's shoes - he stared at them, as though too afraid to look above him\ninto his own brother's face. \"Nothing's gonna change - not - you - me,\nBligh - Dako - Cody...it's all...\"\nHe shook his head. \"You've...been everything to me, and - who - cares you're a different - different -\ndog - wolf - man - species?\" A\nsmall silence passed, and his eyes dropped all the way to the water.\n\"You're still my brother...\"                Andrew was moved by the\nspectacle - the lingering burn of jealousy was finally being eased, and seeing\nhis brother, utterly defenseless, nearly broken, he did what, for so long,\nseemed unthinkable...it was time to show him, even in a small way, how Stephen\ncould know that Andrew trusted him.                He pulled up his pants\nlegs, and kicked off his shoes.                His pawed feet - the\nclaw-like toenails, the leathery pads on the bottom - descended into the water,\nand Andrew let out a small rush of air as he felt for the first time in a month\nhis skin, covered in blond fur though it was, be submerged in water, heated to\na temperature that pricked at him pleasantly. The effect was near-euphoric - he\nhad so longed to go swimming, to feel the liquid magic of water again...                His fleeting moment of\necstasy was interrupted, however, when he glanced down to see Stephen studying\nhis now-naked footpaws.                 \"Those...too, huh?\"\nStephen asked, eyebrows raised - he looked up at his brother. \"And a - a\ntail? You didn't let me see...\"                 Andrew nodded his affirmation - a very small\nsmile with it. \"You will soon.\"                Stephen did not react - he\nmerely glanced away. \"Half - man - half - dog. So I guess there is\nsomething - something about the dogs in the county...\"                \"I've been wondering\nthat for awhile now, Brother.\"                Without another word,\nStephen drifted to Andrew's legs, where he embraced both of them - Andrew\nsuppressed a wince as he felt the legs of his khakis moistened by Stephen's\nwheaten hair, matted with chlorinated poolwater.                It was uncomfortable in\nseveral ways - he remembered the kiss, so long ago, but for once did not put\nhis hand to his cheek, because the word, incest,\nthat Stephen used, had started to bother him. Was that what Stephen had meant -\nall those years before - back when his voice was still freshly mutated by the\nAppalachians? Wanted ta do that fer ages...was\nStephen in love--?                He looked down at his\nbrother, so fragile in this moment and only in this moment, far away from the\npuckish run-with-scissors swathe he had worked so hard splattering across the\nworld, from the childhood years of being the strange near-mute who almost never\nspoke save to his Beagle...and to him.                 Perhaps it did not matter\nwhat his brother had felt. Only - only what Andrew felt for Cody, for his\npuppies...for Bligh, his best friend despite very quite literally everything, and\nfor Stephen, his brother. And only what\nthey, in turn, felt for him.                Andrew stroked his\nbrother's hair, feeling the wetness in his fingers, the white patch on his\nneck-hair that seemed oddly softer than the rest of his hair. \"It's okay,\nBrother - it's okay...\" A thought occurred to him, and he cleared his\nthroat, trying to make headway even in this heavy moment. \"Hey - l-listen\n- listen, I want - I want you to come back to the house with me.\"                \"W-wait, what?\"\nStephen relinquished his hold on Andrew's legs.                \"Come back to the\nhouse with me,\" Andrew repeated.                Stephen shook his head\nbriskly. \"N-no, dude, c'mon, not after--\"                \"It'll be fine.\"                \"I can't face\nBligh,\" Stephen whispered - Andrew found himself amused how worried\nStephen was over what Bligh thought\nof him. \"He--\" Stephen's voice increased some. \"He must hate me -\nand Dako - uh, Cody - too, I really just--\"                \"It's fine, Stevie.\nI'll smooth things over - it'll be fine. And you--\" He chuckled. \"You\ngot in that hot tub with the only pair of shorts you had on - I - I still got a\nfew pairs in my closet, you can...wear them.\"                \"I'm scrawnier than\nyou are.\"                Andrew sniffed. \"So\nwear a belt, I gotta spare.\" He looked about the hot tub. \"Where's\nyour phone?\"                \"The car - um -\nlocked. Why?\"                \"Didn't want you\ngetting it wet.\"                Stephen looked at him\nskeptically. \"Why you doing this, why you being so nice? Why now?\"                \"Because--\" Andrew\nsmiled knowingly. \"You're drunk. And high--\"                \"Not as much anymore -\nand I ain't nowhere near as drunk as when you called me that one time.\"\nThe demure shrug returned. \"I'm not - I'm not repeating myself like a\nmental patient, yanno, that's when it gets real\nbad.\"                \"But you're still\ndrunk, and you have to drive across the damn bridge, and driving drunk can kill\nyour ass - fuck it almost did­--\"                \"That was one\ntime,\" Stephen wryly protested.                \"One time too\nmany,\" Andrew rejoined. \"And open container laws are serious shit.\nSo--\" He rose, still with his feet on the first ledge of the hot tub.\n\"Come on - come on back to the house.\"                 Stephen shook his head\nagain. \"Nah dude, I'm not that drunk, I told you already I only had--\"                \"You're lying.\"                Stephen shifted, looking up\nat Andrew - his face was wet and coruscating from the water and the half-light\nof the apartment complex...he smiled, the mischievous, impish smile of infinite\njest returning for the first time since Andrew had approached him there at the\npool.                \"And if I know you\nlike I do,\" Andrew said with a gentle smile. \"It's been more than\nthree beers...and you probably have a - bottle of Maker's in the car?\"                Stephen shrugged.\n\"What's it to you?\"                The smile faded, and\nAndrew's mouth twinged - he had not expected to feel so sentimental, so\nprotective...so soon.                \"Because I'm worried\nabout you, Brother.\"                It was Stephen's turn to\nhave a smile vanish from his face - he seemed confused. \"But - why? Dude\nI'll be fine, seriously I'm always--\"                \"No,\" Andrew\nsaid, his heart - the heart that had changed into a dog's since last he had\nseen Stephen - tightening in his chest, and his ears inside his hat struggling\nto go flat. \"No - no, Brother, no.\"                 He reached down and stroked\nhis brother's cheek with the back of his hand - he only wanted to touch him,\nplatonically, to reassure of him of his love and his presence, even if he\nsuspected that this kind of intimacy would capture something else, something\ndeeper and divorced from conventional morality...he saw Stephen light up, and\nAndrew tried his best to smile at him.                \"Listen, Stevie - you\nleft Ma and Pa and you came down here with me and now - we're the - we're the\nonly family we got left. I mean - Bligh, Cody - they're my family. But - you -\nyou're blood. The last blood I've got in this world. Understand?\"                Stephen, too, seemed moved\nat the gravity of the moment - it looked, for a just a moment, like he was\nblinking away sudden tears, before his face burst into a smile that tried to be\nmischievous but ended up sheepish:                \"F-fuck you, Drewseph,\nthat sounds like some shit I'd\nsay--\"                Andrew chuckled. \"I'm\nserious. I been a bad big brother - right? Putting my shit above yours and -\nnot taking responsibility for stuff that--\" He sighed. \"Really...doesn't\nmatter...anymore.\"                Stephen chortled, arising\nout of the hot tub once again - his back turned to his brother for a moment, he\nchortled again, lower, sadder. Over his shoulder, he glanced to Andrew before\nletting his gaze fall to the puddle he was making beneath him - he took a hand\nto grasp Walker's tooth that hung around his neck, seeming to clutch it, as\nthough for strength.                \"You can never be a\nbad brother, Drewseph - bad friend, maybe, but you--\" He turned around,\nreleasing his necklace charm to fold his arms with a smile that was disarmingly\nkind. \"You - dumb sack of dog\nshit you - you--\" He pointed.\n\"--are the only family I\ngot.\" His kind smile was murdered a by gleeful, skyward laugh. \"See!\nMy line!\" Now he pointed to himself. \"My line. I say\nthat.\"                Andrew laughed - the\ntension gone, the forgiveness released, and the weights that he carried with\nhim for the past hour lifted, he laughed, he put hand to his face and laughed\nat Stephen's absurd joke.                \"Oh Steverino what am\nI gonna do with you...?\"                Stephen reached for the\nsame shirt that, hopelessly damp, did little to help him dry off. \"Lemme\nhave the couch, for one.\" The mischievous, vulpine smile returned.                Andrew chuckled.\n\"Alright, Brother - fine. Let's go home - I'll show you how to get\nthere.\"                \"That sounded\nmeaningful,\" Stephen said, cocking his head as Andrew stamped his feet dry\nand put his shoes back on. \"You're so cheesy, yanno that? Disgusting -\njust disgusting.\"                \"Stevie--\" Andrew\npulled his brother into a tight hug. \"You are so, so difficult.\"                \"But you love\nme,\" Stephen said coyly - he glanced away with a strange, shy smile.\n\"I love you, yanno...\"                \"I do too,\"\nAndrew affirmed with a gentle chuckle. \"Now dry off and get your ass\nhome...\" He stepped back to motion with his head to the pool gate.\n\"With me.\""}