{"sf1_id":819217,"sf2_id":null,"title":"All Good Things...","author":"StGeorgesHorse","words":1466,"posted_at":"2015-02-13T18:08:00.000Z","tags":["Depression","Equine","Mare","Stallion","Suicide","anger"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/819217-all-good-things","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/view/819217","image_url":"https://www.sofurryfiles.com/std/thumb?page=819217\u0026ext=.jpg","description":"#28 of Miscellany\n\nThis can be said to be a continuation from this story, if you wish to look upon it that way. https://www.sofurry.com/view/812383","content":"                The room was rather rough in\nappearance, like that of a cheesy apartment or  old motel that was overpriced because you\ncould do what you want without having to deal with nosy neighbors. It had the\nsmell of a place where no one complained about anything until perhaps the odor from\na decomposing body got to be too strong. And then they called the\nsuperintendent and not the police. They left that such tasks to him. It was always safer.                The stallion pacing the floor\nhad a look of unreadable blankness on his face. He was staring at the only other\nperson in the room. There was music playing in the background, loud enough to\ndisguise a few noises that might erupt from the room.                \"I suppose you're wondering why\nI dragged you here. I know it's not of the quality that you're used to, but\nthen I think you're used to things being too good. It never hurts to drop your\nstandards once in a while. Not everything is about being catered to.\"                There was no answer from the one\nin the chair.                \"Yeah, well, I figured I'd go\nover a few things before I called us quits. After all, I invested a lot of\nyears into this partnership. And I'm not saying you didn't either, but in the\nend I think I've gotten the shaft.\" ...for life is quite absurd and death's the final word, You must always\nface the curtain with a bow, Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin, Enjoy\nit - it's your last chance anyhow.So always look on the\nbright side of death...                He was looking at the figure in the chair. \"I put a lot\ninto this. I tried to help you make your dreams come true, and what did it get\nme? As far as I see it, not a god damn thing except headache and heartache. Do\nyou even realize what I've given up for you? I think you do, but you've chosen\nto ignore it. And why not? They say to never look a gift horse in the mouth..\"               He angrily kicked a chair across\nthe room, where it splintered against the wall.               \"I'm not perfect. I never\nclaimed to be and never tried to be. Hell, whose level of perfection was I\nsupposed to meet? Yours? Mine? No, I was at the top of my game once, and I let\nit go because I was convinced there were better things to be had. I see now\nthat was wrong. The problem is, it's too late for me to go and restart where I\nleft off. I'm carrying too much baggage for that kind of thing.\"                Another chair sailed across the\nroom to dissolve into its component pieces.                 \"I gave up a lot for you, and I\nfollowed a lot of your stupid ideas against my better judgment. Whatever you\nwanted, you got. And look where that got me! Nowhere! I figured that at the end\nof it all, you'd finally produce something, but no. You still decided to wallow\nin your own self pity and think that the world owed you something. Well guess\nwhat? It doesn't give a shit about you and I, not one fucking bit.\"                There was a muffled exclamation\nfrom the other person in the room, but he cut them off.                 \"Don't. I don't want to hear it.\nYou know I'm right. It's just now that it's sinking in that it has come back to\nbite you in the ass. There is no point in trying to reach above your station,\nbut settling for something easy with all of your personal requirements in life was\nfoolish and worse, detrimental.  I for\none am tired of it. You can't have it both ways, not unless you were born into money.\nYou and I, we weren't. We had started to build something before it fell apart.\"                His fist came down on the old\ndining table, leaving a wide crack in its shattering wake.                \"I can overlook a lot, but there\nis always going to be a final straw. When I've given all I can give, that's it.\nI'm done.\" ...Stay away from her my friend, stay away from her. There was a\ntime when she could really love you, when she was thinking only of you, but now\nshe's thrown herself above you and there's nothing you can do...             He was walking around the room, kicking the bits and pieces of the\nchair out of his way. The mare in the one remaining seat was watching him with\nfearful eyes. She had seen him angry before, but this had a different tone to\nit. There had been anger for things a person didn't like and wanted to change,\nbut this was a hollow anger. There was nothing behind it but simple depression.\nShe would have said something but there were things standing in the way of her\nvoicing her opinion.                He\nmade it back to the table, which was bent in the middle now and held in place by a\nfew twisted pieces of metal.                \"I\nknow I should have said something all along, and many times I'd like to think that\nI did. There are only so many times you can get shot down before you don't bother\ngetting back up. It's far safer to stay down and out of the line of fire. I don't\nknow how many ideas I gave you that you thought were worthless, but there were\nenough. And so here we are, down the road you chose. And it didn't turn out\nlike you figured did it? All this because you felt the need to do things your\nway. \"                \"Well,\nnow it's my turn. This time you don't have a choice. As of right now, I have\nthe final word, don't I?\"                She\nwould have spoken except the gag was pretty effective for keeping her quiet. He\nhad seen to that right off the bat. He had enough of her excuses. For once she\nwas going to listen to him.                She\nnodded.                \"So\nthe question is, what do I do now? I have no idea really. There comes a tipping\npoint when you can't go back. You drag things out as long as you can, and then\nwhat do you have left? Nothing. When you give it all, you exhaust what you have\nin reserve. I'm running on fumes baby. I have been for a while, and now I'm just\nplum tuckered out.\"                He\npulled out one of his guns. \"You remember Gertie, don't ya? She used to belong\nto a friend of mine, but then you know that already. You know I should have\ngone down that day. I miss those guys terribly. But hey, that's life, right?\nThere is always a measure of sadness to go with the joy. But I seem to be\nmissing out on the joy right now. How do you suppose I can fix that?\"                He\nplaced the gun against her head. \"I could pull the trigger you know.\"\nHe withdrew the weapon. \"But I won't.\" He stood up.                \"You\nsee, if I did that, it would be one more thing I'd have to live with. I might\nbe able to, but I'm not filled with that much kindness. In my heart, I find I\nhave little sympathy anymore, except for those who truly deserve it. I don't think\nyou do. But then, you don't deserve an early death either. So I am left stuck debating as to what to do.\"                He\nstared at her, watching the tears running down her face. He felt a little\nstirring, but wasn't about to succumb to the same old situation.  \"Look. I know that somewhere inside there is\na good person, but I think she's gotten lost in all the trappings. But I can't help\nyou decide who you really are anymore. I have a tough enough time with myself,\nmuch less figuring out other people. So consider this to be a wakeup call. From\nthis day forward you will live your life as you see fit. I will not be there to\nsay a word. What happens, happens. I'll no longer feel responsible for you. I'll\nfinally be free.\"                He\nkissed her forehead before withdrawing to the bathroom. This place was a sad\nwreck, he thought, and so a little more discoloration would hardly matter in the grand scheme of things.                ...a brave man once requested me, to answer questions that are\nkey, is it to be or not to be, and I replied; why ask me? Cause suicide is\npainless, it brings on many changes, and I can take it or leave it if I please...and\nyou can do the same thing if you please... "}