{"sf1_id":867275,"sf2_id":"0mvy9QXe","title":"tears","author":"james mikoto","words":530,"posted_at":"2015-05-29T20:46:00.000Z","tags":["Lost","Love","Poem","Poetry","tears"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/867275-tears","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/0mvy9QXe","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/e9/b6/e9b6e123-1a94-4cc8-b4eb-50885a90ff50","description":"#1 of tears","content":"Sitting by the window \u0026nbsp;  \nThe weather is eerie\u0026nbsp;  \nMy stomach is churning\u0026nbsp;  \nThe news i am awaiting is scary\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nMy face is\u0026nbsp;frozen by fear\u0026nbsp;  \nPlayed this moment time and time again\u0026nbsp;  \nBut nothing can prepare you\u0026nbsp;  \nFor the news i am about to\u0026nbsp;ad-hear  \n  \nI shake from the mental strain that\u0026nbsp;takes\u0026nbsp;form,  \nOn me making me feel the claustrophobia\u0026nbsp;  \nIts a terrifying feeling to experience\u0026nbsp;  \nIts a horrific thing to have relevance\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nFingers scratching at the window\u0026nbsp;  \nAs the rain pours upon the frame\u0026nbsp;  \nClock stops as time slows for me\u0026nbsp;  \nAnd suddenly a feeling inside saying I'm to blame\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nI no this is normal thinking\u0026nbsp;  \nBut could it really be\u0026nbsp;  \nThat the call that couldn't come\u0026nbsp;  \nWas all because of me\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nI know its a silly thing to suggest\u0026nbsp;  \nBut it buries me deep\u0026nbsp;  \nGnaws at my heart and head\u0026nbsp;  \nFeeling sick now feeling weak\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nThe clock moves and\u0026nbsp;strikes the dead of twelve\u0026nbsp;  \nWith ominous thuds\u0026nbsp;  \nMy tears are suffocating my face\u0026nbsp;  \nAnd now I peer at\u0026nbsp;my fears\u0026nbsp;  \nBegging for the call that couldn't come\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nI prayed, I cried, I screamed, I died\u0026nbsp;  \nTo keep him here just for a few more days\u0026nbsp;  \nBut the pain that he suffers is far to extreme\u0026nbsp;  \nYet i still hold my head up in hope as i pray\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nI feel the choke hold upon my throat \u0026nbsp;  \nBut nothing is there except my thoughts\u0026nbsp;  \nIts causing me nausea and sickness\u0026nbsp;  \nIts causing me to lose all face and hope\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nMy heart races with so much panic and pain\u0026nbsp;  \nKnowing that daddy won't be coming home again\u0026nbsp;  \nBut i can't see life without him I'm so afraid\u0026nbsp;  \nDo i really have to endure such a tragedy\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nMy brow now sweats and my eyes close\u0026nbsp;  \nI see his face with a huge smile on his lips\u0026nbsp;  \nThat gives me warmth inside my heart\u0026nbsp;  \nI wish to give my father just one last kiss\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nSuddenly there's a ring of the phone\u0026nbsp;  \nI feel the sudden shock the paralyzing effect\u0026nbsp;  \nIt takes a hold of me i can't move \u0026nbsp;  \nMy aunt answers the phone is it the news we all now expect\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nShe mutters towards the receiver\u0026nbsp;  \nAnd there's a faint reply \u0026nbsp;  \nHelen my dear sister tell Emily\u0026nbsp;  \nThat uncle Alan has died\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nI could see from her face\u0026nbsp;  \nThat the news was broken\u0026nbsp;  \nMy tears ran ever so faster\u0026nbsp;  \ni was shaking i was broken\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nAuntie Helen slowly places the phone\u0026nbsp;  \nBack down to the chair\u0026nbsp;  \nShe looked at my innocent face\u0026nbsp;  \nAnd uttered the words that she couldn't bare\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nSweetheart i have to speak to you\u0026nbsp;  \nNow please don't cry \u0026nbsp;  \nI'm for you darling\u0026nbsp;  \nBut daddy has lost is life\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nHe fought my dear with all is might\u0026nbsp;  \nSo please don't be sad\u0026nbsp;  \nHe fought all he could sweet Emily dear\u0026nbsp;  \nHe was a very brave dad\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nAlthough Aunty Helen held my head high\u0026nbsp;  \nMy face welled up deeper and deeper\u0026nbsp;  \nI had a stream of tears in my eyes\u0026nbsp;  \nI couldn't hold back any longer\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nThe call that couldn't come \u0026nbsp;  \nThough i begged for its place\u0026nbsp;  \nI love you daddy always will\u0026nbsp;  \nI'll always remember the smiles upon your face.  \n  \n\n","series":{"name":"tears","next":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/902454-atonement.json"}}