# tears

Author: james mikoto
Tags: Lost, Love, Poem, Poetry, tears

#1 of tears

Sitting by the window &nbsp;  
The weather is eerie&nbsp;  
My stomach is churning&nbsp;  
The news i am awaiting is scary&nbsp;  
  
My face is&nbsp;frozen by fear&nbsp;  
Played this moment time and time again&nbsp;  
But nothing can prepare you&nbsp;  
For the news i am about to&nbsp;ad-hear  
  
I shake from the mental strain that&nbsp;takes&nbsp;form,  
On me making me feel the claustrophobia&nbsp;  
Its a terrifying feeling to experience&nbsp;  
Its a horrific thing to have relevance&nbsp;  
  
Fingers scratching at the window&nbsp;  
As the rain pours upon the frame&nbsp;  
Clock stops as time slows for me&nbsp;  
And suddenly a feeling inside saying I'm to blame&nbsp;  
  
I no this is normal thinking&nbsp;  
But could it really be&nbsp;  
That the call that couldn't come&nbsp;  
Was all because of me&nbsp;  
  
I know its a silly thing to suggest&nbsp;  
But it buries me deep&nbsp;  
Gnaws at my heart and head&nbsp;  
Feeling sick now feeling weak&nbsp;  
  
The clock moves and&nbsp;strikes the dead of twelve&nbsp;  
With ominous thuds&nbsp;  
My tears are suffocating my face&nbsp;  
And now I peer at&nbsp;my fears&nbsp;  
Begging for the call that couldn't come&nbsp;  
  
I prayed, I cried, I screamed, I died&nbsp;  
To keep him here just for a few more days&nbsp;  
But the pain that he suffers is far to extreme&nbsp;  
Yet i still hold my head up in hope as i pray&nbsp;  
  
I feel the choke hold upon my throat &nbsp;  
But nothing is there except my thoughts&nbsp;  
Its causing me nausea and sickness&nbsp;  
Its causing me to lose all face and hope&nbsp;  
  
My heart races with so much panic and pain&nbsp;  
Knowing that daddy won't be coming home again&nbsp;  
But i can't see life without him I'm so afraid&nbsp;  
Do i really have to endure such a tragedy&nbsp;  
  
My brow now sweats and my eyes close&nbsp;  
I see his face with a huge smile on his lips&nbsp;  
That gives me warmth inside my heart&nbsp;  
I wish to give my father just one last kiss&nbsp;  
  
Suddenly there's a ring of the phone&nbsp;  
I feel the sudden shock the paralyzing effect&nbsp;  
It takes a hold of me i can't move &nbsp;  
My aunt answers the phone is it the news we all now expect&nbsp;  
  
She mutters towards the receiver&nbsp;  
And there's a faint reply &nbsp;  
Helen my dear sister tell Emily&nbsp;  
That uncle Alan has died&nbsp;  
  
I could see from her face&nbsp;  
That the news was broken&nbsp;  
My tears ran ever so faster&nbsp;  
i was shaking i was broken&nbsp;  
  
Auntie Helen slowly places the phone&nbsp;  
Back down to the chair&nbsp;  
She looked at my innocent face&nbsp;  
And uttered the words that she couldn't bare&nbsp;  
  
Sweetheart i have to speak to you&nbsp;  
Now please don't cry &nbsp;  
I'm for you darling&nbsp;  
But daddy has lost is life&nbsp;  
  
He fought my dear with all is might&nbsp;  
So please don't be sad&nbsp;  
He fought all he could sweet Emily dear&nbsp;  
He was a very brave dad&nbsp;  
  
Although Aunty Helen held my head high&nbsp;  
My face welled up deeper and deeper&nbsp;  
I had a stream of tears in my eyes&nbsp;  
I couldn't hold back any longer&nbsp;  
  
The call that couldn't come &nbsp;  
Though i begged for its place&nbsp;  
I love you daddy always will&nbsp;  
I'll always remember the smiles upon your face.

Source: https://sofurry.com/s/0mvy9QXe
Part of the series tears
Next: https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/902454-atonement.md