{"sf1_id":889436,"sf2_id":null,"title":"The Dogs: Hand In Heart - Episode I","author":"Aux Chiens","words":8611,"posted_at":"2015-07-22T06:47:00.000Z","tags":["Brothers","Character Development","FAMILY","Gay Relationships","Hugging","Male","Male Pregnancy","Plot Development","Story Progression","Transformation","comfort"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/889436-the-dogs-hand-in-heart-episode-i","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/view/889436","image_url":"https://www.sofurryfiles.com/std/thumb?page=889436\u0026ext=.jpg","description":"","content":"            Even in October it is still\nwarm in Tampa Bay, still balmy, the mugginess does not abate and so it is still\nshorts weather - this was the allure and thrill of the area many years ago, the\nmarvel that, to the northerners that dwelt in the chilling majesty of the\nnear-remainder of the American continent, there could be someplace nearby, in\nfact not very far at all, that still tasted of an endless Indian Summer. \n            It was pleasantly\nair-conditioned inside Andrew's Grand Wagoneer and when he shut the engine off\nand opened the door he was greeted with it, that warm breath that blew on\nFlorida and the sunlight that slanted oddly, the only indicator it was Autumn here.\nHe was dressed for the season, however - a tanktop from his school, USF, and\nsome linen khakis.\n            He had parked in an\nexpansive parking lot next to an exceedingly busy avenue - Fowler, down the\nstreet from his university, to eat at the Chipotle some of his classmates would\nfrequent - and in the too-bright sunshine that struck his eyes past the futile\nbill of a well-worn Baltimore Ravens hat, he saw the person he would be meeting\nfor lunch that day:\n            \"Hey Brother,\" he\ncalled, waving. \n            Leaning against a\nnear-antique Mercedes coupe that one would never guessed had been, once,\nwrapped around a tree and thought totaled, was Stephen, his younger sibling who\nresembled him physically and little other else - his clothing was fitted and\nexpensive-looking but still Florida, a t-shirt and khaki shorts, agile-looking\nPumas on his feet.\n            Stephen, whose eyes were\nhidden behind sunglasses, waved back.\"Sup Drewseph.\"\n            They came together for a\ntight hug - Andrew stronger than Stephen, and few inches taller than his\nyounger brother.\n            As they separated, Stephen smiled,\na sly, impish look.      \"Nice hat - I'm\nsurprised Bligh could even remove it off his head.\" \n            Andrew chuckled. \"Nah\n- he just figured since we was staying in today, I could wear it.\"\n            \"It smells like him,\ndoesn't it.\"\n            The question - it wasn't a\nquestion at all, a statement, Stephen was clever enough to know the answer and\nso had phrased it that way - still gave Andrew a small pause.\n            \"Uh--\"\n            He burst out into\nembarrassed laughter - his tail, hidden in the depths of his khakis so that no\none could see, struggled to wag.\n            \"Yeah - yeah it does.\"\n            \"Gaaay.\"\n            Andrew laughed again, and\nStephen did the same, but softer, adjusting his sunglasses - Andrew, leaning\nback against his Jeep, smiled, bemused.\n            \"Nice shades,\" he\nsaid.\n            \"Do I look cool in\nthem?\"Stephen asked listlessly, as though already bored with the idea.\n\"I think I look cool in them.\"\n            Andrew sniffed. \"C'mon\nBrother.\"\n            Stephen tilted his head.\n\"What?\"\n            \"You're hungover and\nyou know it.\"\n            Stephen bit his lip, mockingly\ningénue. \"Nuh-uh!\"\n            \"Don't even try!\"\n            \"Oh fine.\" \n            Off came the sunglasses\nwith a dramatic swerve - Andrew winced inwardly as he saw that his brother's\neyes, squinting painfully against the brightness they were now exposed to, were\ndeeply tired, near-purple raccoon-rings underneath. \n            \"Wha - Jesus dude!\" Andrew exclaimed.\n            \"Right?\"\n            \"What - happened?\"\n            \"Party at Kappa last\nnight.\" He smiled demurely. \"You like dubstep?\"\n            \"I hate dubstep.\"\n            Stephen chortled again.\n\"Me too, and now I hate it even more.\"\n            \"What, that all they\nplayed?\"\n            \"All night,\" Stephen answered in\nexasperation - back came the sunglasses with a frown. \"You know how many\ntimes they played Summertime Sadness?\nHow many remixes there are of that one bitch and that one fucking song?\"\n            Andrew couldn't help but\nlaugh at his brother's theatrics. \"I - I dunno, how many?\"\n            \"Too goddam many is how many! And it's not\neven fucking summer, it's - October\nor - whatever passes for October for\nyou mutants--\"\n            Andrew cracked up, a hand\ncoming to his mouth. \"Oh, Brother, c'mon--\"\n            \"Whatever, I got some\ndecent drinks out of it.\" He sighed - that same demurity, the same boredom\nwith life itself. \"Too many,\nhuh, huh!\"\n            \"Hey,\" Andrew\nanswered. \"You said it, not me.\"\n            Stephen sneered at him.\n\"Really?\"\n            \"Really.\" Andrew\nsqueezed his brother's shoulder. \"You get here alright, then?\"\n            Stephen looked to Andrew's\nhand where it was on his shoulder, then back to Andrew, a slow smile appearing.\n            \"I...fucking hate Tampa\ntraffic.\"\n            Andrew withdrew his hand\nand folded his arms across his chest, giving a more profound lean against his\nJeep. \"Zat so?\" He was quoting Bligh, his best friend, now one of his\nhusbands, present, with his hat, even when he was absent.\n            \"Yeah - like, how the\nfuck do you deal?\"\n            \"I mean--\" Andrew motioned\nwith his head to the stream of shiny cars on the road. \"You just get used\nto it, yanno?\"\n            \"Huh,\" Stephen\nintoned back. \"Is Bligh used to\nit? Like, Cody just skateboards everywhere, but Bligh - that truck of his--\"\n            \"Not, uh...\" He\nchuckled. \"Not really.\"\n            \"Figured - outside of\nlike, what, Charleston, he's never--\"\n            \"Hey, give him some\ncredit, he's doing his best.\" Andrew laughed. \"Took me awhile too,\nyanno.\"\n            \"Yeah a bit, I guess, but like, um...\" He\npaused, as though the thoughts in head had coagulated too thickly, and Andrew\nleaned forward, eyebrows raised.\n            \"Brother?\"\n            Stephen shook his head\nrapidly. \"I was just - like, um...thinking.\"\n            \"About?\"\n            \"Cody. He can't really\nskate now that he's--\"\n            Andrew nodded.\n\"Yeah.\"\n            \"So how is he? I've\nbeen texting him--\"\n            \"Yeah, yeah I saw\nthat,\" Andrew said with a smile. \"Y'all do it all day.\"\n            \"Well I guess - is\nthat bad?\"\n            \"Nah.\" Andrew's smile\ngrew. \"Just funny, I guess - it's cool y'all end up being friends.\"\n            \"I just been so\nfucking busy I ain't seen y'all much - so like - how...is he, I guess?\"\n            Andrew nodded. \"He's\nfine, he - you know his uh...\" He chuckled to himself, a stifled bit of\nhorror consumed in an instant by peculiar pride. \"His belly's pretty\nbig.\"\n            Stephen raised an eyebrow.\n\"Wait, really?\"\n            \"Well yeah, I mean\nhe's--\"\n            \"No I get it, and\nlike, I've just - schedule's fucked, I haven't been able to see him - y'all -\nand hang--\" \n            \"You want to hang with\nhim?\"\n            Stephen frowned. \"Uh,\nyeah? He's my age, dude. We could, like, do fun things together.\"\n            Andrew seemed reluctant\nwith the idea, yielding only when he remembered Cody's condition was temporary.\n\"Maybe - maybe when he's not--\"\n            \"Yeah,\" Stephen cut in, almost annoyed. \"Like, really? I'm\nnot dumb.\"\n            \"You seem to forget\nwhat he's going through pretty easy.\" Andrew frowned, a gentle scolding.\n            \"Uh - uh--\"\nStephen stammered, taken offguard. \"I don't - I don't mean to?\"\n            \"I know you\ndon't.\"\n            \"It's just, like\nI--\" Stephen seemed to struggled with the concept. \"I'm not really -\nthis is new to me.\"\n            \"Being an uncle?\"\n            Stephen opened his mouth\nbut then shut it, a comical frown. \"Sure.\nLet's go with that.\"\n            Andrew chuckled. \"It\nreally isn't that hard to understand, Brother.\"\n            Two eyebrows made an\nappearance over Stephen's sunglasses. \"Uh, a dude who's part-dog getting\npregnant isn't hard to--?\"\n            Back came Andrew's hand to\nhis brother's shoulder, giving it a squeeze of finality. \n            \"I didn't say it\nweren't weird, Brother - but it really ain't that hard to understand.\"\n            A peculiar smile spread\nacross Stephen's face - it started off as the usual, the demure, the\nuninterested, to not betray being defeated, but then even this melted\naway...there was a little chortle, a tiny pinprick of vulnerability, and then:\n            \"I'm - I'm gonna be an\nuncle.\"\n            And Andrew nodded.\n\"Yes you are.\" He relinquished his hand.\n            Stephen seemed to consider\nthe thought for a moment - behind his sunglasses it was difficult to tell.\n            \"You're...\" he\nstarted slowly. \"I know that - tone you're\nusing, you're - really confident about this, aren't you?\"\n            \"Well...\" Andrew weighed\nthe question. \"I'm trying to be.\"\n            For a second - and just a\nsecond, Stephen's face grew serious, and he doffed his sunglasses, the gruesome\nraccoon-eyes again, but there it was, a kindness, an understanding that Andrew\nknew Stephen was capable of in rare and beautiful doses.\n            Folding his arms so that\nthey peeked out from under his arm, Stephen smiled, sweetly, no irony with it: \"Then\n- I hope I can be - a good uncle, then.\"\n            Andrew chuckled - he pulled\nhis brother into a tight hug, feeling his tail wag inside his khakis. \n            \"I know you\nwill,\" he said softly. \"I know you will, Brother.\" They\nseparated - Andrew cleared his throat. \"Just - maybe cut down on the\ndrinking?\"\n            The sunglasses came back\nand the spell was broken - Stephen grinned back, malicious: \"Fuck off.\"\n            \"Can't blame a guy for\ntrying,\" Andrew said with a chuckle.\n            Stephen frowned, and made a\nnoise - \"Eh?\" - before sighing profoundly. \"After last night\nthough? I'll consider it - fuck, I'm ruined.\"\n            Andrew sniffed. \"Stevie do you just -\nnot drink water? Like, at all?\"\n            \"Dude I'm trying to\nget fucked up,\" Stephen\nprotested. \"I ain't trying to be responsible! I mean shit, I ain't driving--\"\n            \"Don't joke about\nthat,\" Andrew interrupted him darkly. \n            Quite without meaning to,\nthey both turned to look at Stephen's car, the two-door Mercedes with its enormous\nhood and leering four headlights, the impeccable lines of a lost generation of\nautomotive design from three decades before.\n            \"Weren't\nnothing,\" Stephen said, trying to be brave about destroying the car and\nbeing thrown through the windshield to miraculously - perhaps not miraculously\nat all, as he later discovered - survive, not two years before. \"I\nwrecked, I was drunk, Pa got me off on a minor charge - no big.\"\n            \"I coulda lost\nyou.\" \n            Andrew's ears - the velvety\ndog-like ears he hid from the world - strained to twitch in concern inside his\ncap.\n            \"You wouldn't've lost\nme,\" Stephen said quietly - but still looking away. \"I'm like y'all,\nremember? Not - doggy, or anything - but I can heal--\"\n            Andrew's sad frown was\nstill immobile across his face: \"You didn't know that.\"\n            Stephen shuffled where he\nstood, visibly uncomfortable. \"I'm sorry,\" he\nmuttered - not coy, not trying to be funny, but defeated, yielding to his\nbrother's protection. \"Can we - can we change the subject?\"\n            Andrew squeezed his\nshoulder one more time - Stephen's head returned to meet his earnest, serious\ngaze.\n            \"Don't be acting\ndangerously like that again - Gustavus and William need a good uncle in their\nlife.\"\n            Stephen was dumbstruck.\n\"Who?\" \n            \"Your nephews.\" \n            Stephen's expression of\nbafflement did not subside. \"You - y'all named them already?\"\n            Andrew nodded. \"Yes we\ndid.\"\n            \"William...\"\nStephen said. \"William...that name - that was - that was Granddad's\nname!\"\n            \"Yes it was.\"\n            \"And Gustavus - Pappy,\nso Bligh's--\" He stopped holding up a hand. \"Wait - wait. How do y'all\neven know they're gonna be male? And shit, if y'all are a pack of - uh, dogs or whatever, then he's gonna have\nmore than one, right? Hell, he'll have more than two, ain't he--?\"\n            Andrew said cut him off\nwith a quick headshake. \"We can't exactly go anywhere to prove he's right,\nbut - he says two. Twins. Both boys - little puppies.\"\n            Up went Stephen's eyebrow.\n\"He says? He - didn't tell me any of that, what the fuck!\"\n            \"Well he might be\na little afraid to tell you, that's some pretty heavy - uh, yanno--\"\n            \"I'll let him know,\"\nStephen murmured. \"He shouldn't be like that - but, like, I guess I can\nsee it.\"\n            Andrew nodded once more. \"Yeah, he um - he\ncalls it intuition, just - his body knows, that there's twins and that they're\nmale.\"\n            \"His body knows...\" Stephen repeated.\n            \"That's right.\"\n            Stephen's mouth remained\nagape before it shut again. \"I - I don't--\" He shook his head,\nrapidly. \"Intuition, huh?\"\n            \"Exactly.\"\n            \"Wow,\" Stephen\nsaid, obviously impressed. \"I guess that's really legit - fuck, I'd\nbelieve him.\" He paused with a slight frown. \"You believe him, right?\"\n\"I - I...\" \n            He paused, feeling even in\nfront of the bustling portico and the searing heat of Fowler Avenue in front of\nhim another, inner warmth of exquisite joy at being a father, even if he was\ncertain, by Cody's same intuition, that his offspring would not be human at\nall.\n            \"I do, yeah, but it's-\" He chuckled to\nhimself again. \"It's hard to describe, because - all this time I just, you\nthink life is reducible, to - to just chemicals-\" He shrugged.\n\"Really! And that things like - like intuition aren't actually--\"\n            He was interrupted by a\nloud, drawn out groan.\n            \"Holy - fucking - shit, Brother I am hung-to-the-fucking-over, can we please take science-time with Professor Drewseph inside?\"\n            Andrew erupted into\nlaughter, his tail wagging to life, at the sound of his brother's theatrical\nmisery.\n            \"Nooope!\" he\ntaunted. \"Nope, nope, we're gonna stay out here for the rest of the\nafternoon!'\n            Stephen's face became\nferocious. \"I will kill\nyou,\" he hissed, \"I will murder\nyou and I will not fucking care\nwho sees!\"\n            Andrew placed a gripping\nhand on his brother's shoulder, shaking his head, still laughing. \n            \"Come on, you--\"\n            \"I'm starving!\" Stephen cried.\n            \"I'm kinda hungry\ntoo,\" said Andrew with a final chuckle. \"Let's go.\"\n            Andrew opened the door for\nthem and they were greeted by a the sourceless wall of noise of a busy\nlunchtime Chipotle - Stephen scanned the area and nodded approvingly.\n            \"Cool, line ain't too\nlong.\"\n            \"You know what I\nwant?\" Andrew asked.\n            \"You get the same\nthing every fucking time, so--\" Stephen chortled. \"Yes, I know what you want, fucker.\"\n            Andrew chuckled, patting\nhis brother on the shoulder. \"Gonna find us a seat,\" he said.\n            \"Aight,\" Stephen\ncalled after him.\n            There was an open seat\nwhere few others were nearby, even though the place was already rather crowded\nfor the lunchtime rush - he made himself comfortable, adjusting his hidden tail\nso that he wasn't sitting directly on it, pulled out his phone and texted\nBligh, checking in...earlier that morning he had been on campus to straighten out\nhaving his GRE scores sent to the University of Florida, he had barely seen\neither or he Cody, it felt like, all day.\n            Everything\nokay?\n            He watched Stephen go\nthrough the line, almost curtained in by the people around him - the phone\nvibrated, and he glanced down to see what Bligh had sent him.\n            well\nsumthing weird did happen 2day but its okay have fun\n            He frowned - Bligh was\nhighly emotional but he was also very understated, so something weird,\naccording to him, could mean...anything.\n            Is\nit bad?\n            He laid his phone flat on\nthe table, watching it intently for the seconds that stretched out\nuncomfortably - until it buzzed again:\n            no not\nreally just a lil weird drew its ok\n            He frowned deeper.\n\"Dammit, Bligh...\"\n            Please\ntell me?\n            Before he could see if\nBligh would answer, he spied Stephen approaching him, trying to balance with\nwhat Andrew knew to be shaky, hungover hands a metal platter with two bowls and\ntwo drinks, a paper bag in his fingers.\n            Andrew stood up, calling\nout: \"Hey - hey Brother, you need help?\" \n            \"Nah--\" Stephen\nquickened his pace to get to their table. \"We good - I got it.\" He\nlet the paper bag between his fingers fall to the table, where it landed neatly\non its bottom.\n            \"You got chips?\"\nAndrew said, eyebrow raised.\n            Stephen almost looked\noffended. \"Fuck yeah, I got chips!\" Andrew chuckled. \"Good man,\ngood man.\"\n            \"Aight then, so--\"\nDown came his food first. \"Chicken bowl, extra corn, extra cheese,\nguacamole for me--\" He set down\nthe bowl where he had planned to sit, and next to it came what he had ordered\nfor Andrew: \"--and steak bowl\ndouble meat, veggies, pinto beans, cheese\nfor the big stupid dog!\" \n            Andrew rolled his eyes with a\nchuckle. \"Thanks.\" He motioned to Stephen's food. \"I see you're\nbeing adventurous.\"\n            \"Oh fuck off, I'm\nhungover, I need bland shit.\"\n            \"Then why did you get\nguac? Shit's spicy, Stevie, you know that!\"\n            \"It's organic, it's good\nfor me and, like, all that noise.\" With a sneer, he took a forkful of\ncheese and corn to munch before he continued, mid-chew: \"And I thought dogs weren't supposed to have\nonions! Answer that, scientist!\" \n            \"They aren't,\"\nAndrew answered smugly, taking his cup of water to sip. \"But uh - for some\nreason we can. We sweat too, and far as I know I ain't had trouble with\navocados - grapes, raisins - chocolate, yeah, definitely, but there's limits\nbetween the parallels of what dogs can do, and what we can do.\"\n            \"We can do,\" Stephen repeated.\n            Andrew set his cup down, a\nsmile that he did not mean to make curling in his lips. \"We can do, yes.\"\n            \"Me and you,\"\nStephen pressed with his guac-covered fork going from himself to Andrew.\n\"You and me. Cody - Bligh--\"\n            Andrew chuckled, shaking\nhis head. \"Brother I got what\nyou meant.\" \n            \"Good!\" Stephen\nsaid, smiling mischievously. \n            The two set to eating,\noblivious to one another for some spare minutes even as they sat across from\none another - Stephen on his phone, thumb scrolling rapidly back and forth, and\nAndrew, like a true gourmand, letting his nose, with its enhanced ability to\nsense, enjoy the unique and delicious layers, with every forkful of food.\n            At some length Andrew\nlooked up and caught Stephen doing the same - the two brothers smiled at each\nother and Andrew put his fork down to speak.\n            \"Uh - thanks for\ninviting me.\"\n            \"No problem, dude.\nAin't seen you in a minute.\"\n            \"And thanks for\npaying.\"\nStephen chortled, setting his phone down. \"C'mon Drewseph, you know I\ndon't mind that shit.\"\n            Andrew nodded at his\nbrother's bowl. \"But where, uh - where'd you get the money?\"\n            \"What - what\nmoney?\"\n            \"To pay for\nthis.\"\n            \"Oh, uh - yanno, Ma\nstill sends me some money bout every two weeks.\"\n            At the mention of their\nmother Andrew slowed his chewing - he cleared his throat, reaching for his\nwater. \"I see,\" was his answer. He felt his brother watch him for a\nfew seconds before pressing, his voice going uncharacteristically low and\ntactful:\n            \"She - um, she asked\nabout you.\"\n            Andrew felt his eyebrows\nraise - he stuck his fork amidst some rice and sighed, his appetite\ndissipating, folding his arms and leaning back some in his chair.\n            \"Zat - zat so now?\" He heard Bligh's voice\nin his own, attempting to give him strength.\n            \"Yeah,\" Stephen\nsaid back.\n            \"Well what did she\nsay?\"\n            \"She--\" His\nbrother adjusted his sunglasses. \"She asked if I had seen you, yanno,\nsince we're both in Florida now, I still got Insta and Facebook and shit but I\nain't took no selfies with--\"\n            \"Thought they were\npissed at you for moving here.\"\n            Stephen shrugged.\n\"They're getting over it, best I can tell.\"\n            Back came Andrew's\neyebrows. \"Really,\" he said flatly.\n            \"Really,\" Stephen\nrepeated.\n            Andrew sighed, rolling his\neyes and shaking his head. \"Well what - uh, I guess, what did you tell\nher?\"\n            \"That I was gonna see\nyou soon, but we've been talking, and - kinda - yanno, that was it.\"\n            \"They know about\nBligh?\"\n            Stephen shrugged.\n\"They didn't mention it. I'm not sure who back home knows Bligh left or -\nwhatever.\"\n            An unwelcome, awkward\nsilence fell between the two of them and Stephen fidgeted in his seat - he\nspoke up again before Andrew could get too lost in thought:\n            \"Do you - Brother do\nreally even care, though?\"\n            Andrew's eyes had gone\ndistant away from their table as he continued to eat, through the window, onto\nthe bustling street that was jammed with zooming cars - he turned his head back\nto his brother, swallowing, opening his mouth as though to answer, but he\nclosed it, frowning.\n            It had been a long time\nsince he remembered, as he was now, their father's final homophobic diatribe\nafter he had come out of the closet officially, telling everyone about he and\nCody's relationship - it was a year and a half ago but it felt like some other\nlifetime, foreign and unfamiliar.\n            The mindset was utterly\ndifferent - Andrew had, in that moment, cast off his family, his hometown, even\nBligh, anything that West Virginia was to him so that he could become a new\nperson, fully and completely, in Florida...a dead-end, a nowhere, that Bligh had\nrescued him from, if brutally, if forcibly. \n            He and Stephen's mother had\ndone nothing to try to ameliorate things, she did whatever their father wanted\nand that was that, there was no sense in trying to talk to her because all\nroads led back to her husband, their father, whose word overrode everything and\neveryone else.\n            There was too much hurt\neven now, even after Bligh coming down here to Florida in his secret half-dog\nstate to change he and Cody into the same - even after Stephen revealed\nabnormalities about his own body that meant they shared more than just family\nblood but a kinship of not being fully human...things were too damaged, too\nbroken, to reconsider, to attempt to make peace with his parents.\n            He was a grown man - at all\nof twenty-one married, about to graduate college, and have children of his own\n- the torrid guilt of hearing his father speak about shame on the family name,\nLightfoot, and feeling the insidious centuries ring deafening around it, no\nlonger affected him. \n            He no longer cared.\n            Perhaps he should change\nhis name - Andrew Lynch - and let\nStephen be the one to kill the family name, himself, alone...something that,\nrefocusing his distant eyes back to his brother, he knew they'd both relish\ndoing.\n            But for now - Stephen was\nwatching him, waiting for an answer.\n            \"No,\" Andrew said\nat last - slowly, deliberately. \"No, I - don't.\"\n            Stephen smiled - that rare,\nprecious thing, of sweetness and support and understanding. \"And that's\nokay,\" he said softly.\n            Andrew retrieved his fork,\nscooping out the rice that was on it to take another bite - the tension\nvanished, he was hungry again.\n            \"Told you before -\nyou're the only family I got anymore.\" He smiled, closed-mouthed, as he\nchewed.\n            \"I know,\" Stephen\nanswered with the same softness as before. \"I - I know. I'm glad you're my\nbrother and - Cody and Bligh are my - uh, brothers-in-law.\"\n            Andrew chuckled heartily.\n\"Yeah - yeah.\"\n            \"Guess I better change\nthe subject, right?\" Stephen said with a sheepish smile.\n            \"If you want,\"\nAndrew said. \"I'm over it - I got my family here, us four, it don't bother\nme.\"\n            \"Well...\" It was\nStephen's turn to sigh, scratching his eyebrow as he resumed eating. \"I -\nthink it's best...\" \n            Andrew nodded - Stephen\ncleared his throat.\n            \"Oh yeah, by the way I\nmeant to ask you, uh - did you like the book I got you?\"\n            \"Which one? The werewolf\none?\"\n            \"Yeah - Wild Things.\"\n            \"Yeah, it was--\"\nAndrew chuckled. \"I mean Bligh read it more, uh, intently than I did, you\nknow he's really into that stuff.\"\n            \"Well what did he think\nof it?\" Stephen cut the air with his fork to point. \"What did you think of it?\"\n            \"I actually thought it\nwas pretty great, but - I'm no critic. I think Bligh, uh--\" At the mention\nof Bligh's name Stephen pulled out his phone to see if he had texted him back -\nhe had not. \"Uh - uh, I think Bligh thought it was a little too\nunrealistic.\" He replaced the phone back to his pocket with a sympathetic\nsmile. \"You know how--\"\n            \"Unrealistic?\" Stephen cut in, dubious. \"Really?\nWerewolves? Fucking werewolves? Are unrealistic?\"\n            Andrew held up his hands.\n\"Dude, hey, he's real particular about that stuff, okay?\"\n            He could see, through his\nsunglasses, Stephen rolling his eyes. \"Can't believe this - that fucker - that - arrogant--\" His\nfrustration shut him down and he was only able to manage a final punctuation:\n\"Unrealistic.\"\n            \"Dude wait - wait,\nokay?\" He smiled, hoping his brother would do the same - he only shook his\nhead and looked away, as if expecting to be now placated. \"Listen, he - he\nstill liked the way it was written.\"\n            \"It's a decent\nbook,\" Stephen said.\n            \"So, yeah - I mean, has\nhe - do you have anything else the guy wrote?\"\n            \"Oh, um--\" Stephen\nseemed to think a moment. \"The guy, he's Italian but he writes in English,\nit's - Campari - Davide, I think, like David\nbut with an e on the end - maybe look\nhim up?\"\n            \"Add some stuff to my\nAmazon wishlist for Christmas,\"  Andrew\ndeclared with a grin.\n            Stephen stared at him.\n\"Oh boy. Christmas.\"\n            \"Better got\nstarted,\" Andrew chuckled. \"Only got a couple of months.\"\n            Stephen took a long sip of\nwater. \"And - and - you graduate\nround that time, yeah?\"\n            Andrew cleared his throat,\nsmiling nervously, his tail trying to wag, feeling the sudden awareness that he\nstood on a precipice of greatness that had been conveniently forgotten reappear\nfrom nowhere.\n            \"Y-yeah - yeah I am.\"\n            \"So you ready? Ready to\nbe big-big man, Dr. Andrew for real for real?\"\n            Andrew took another forkful of\nfood, considering his answer.     \"Yeah\n- I am.\"\n            \"So then - how'd that\ninterview go with that dude?\"\n            \"Which dude?\"\n            \"The science guy in\nGainesville, your fucking grad school thing.\"\n            \"Oh,\" Andrew\nreplied, frowning. \"Drake Le Carde.\"\n            \"Yeah, him - also that's\na really faggoty name.\"\n            \"Not too faggoty - he's Canadian - from Quebec.\" He ate a forkful\nof steak. \"Apparently his dad was a fashion designer in the 60's, and his dad was a famous detective before\nWorld War II - not that anybody in America's ever heard of them, I guess.\"\n            Stephen leaned forward with a\nchortle. \"So hugely faggoty--\"\n            Andrew laughed. \"Cut it\nout, Brother, geez--\"\n            \"I'm just saying - I'm\njust saying it's really faggoty.\" Stephen stabbed a cheese-covered clump\nof chicken and shoved it into his mouth. \"But yeah, how'd it go?\"\n            \"Uh...\" Andrew swallowed\nhis chewed steak, chuckling mirthlessly to himself. \"Bout that.\"\n            \"Bad?\" Stephen\nguessed.\n            Andrew rolled his eyes.\n\"I mean he was really nice for the most part, and he's - yanno, one of the\nleading scientists in his field in North America and so on--\"\n            \"That don't mean\nshit.\"\n            Andrew frowned again to concede\nthe point. \"I know that now - he\nwas just...I'm not sure what I was expecting, I guess.\"\n            \"Like how?\"\n            \"Um...\" Andrew spun\nhis hand in the air, trying to get the words to come to him. \"I just gotta\nweird vibe from him, if that makes sense? Like - he was nice, sure, and really\nsmart, I mean the man's the best in his field for a reason, but he--\" Andrew frowned. \"He was - yeah, just\nreally intense, asked me a lot of personal questions, because um - there's some\nproject he's working on, and he\ndidn't explain the connection and - I kinda didn't wanna know at that point.\"\n            Even behind the sunglasses\nAndrew could see Stephen's eyes widen in alarm. \"The fuck?\"\n            Andrew help up his hands, fork\nbetween his fingers. \"Don't ask, dude, I didn't wanna know.\"\n            It was Stephen's turn to\nfrown, dissatisfied with the answer. \"Huh,\" he said.\n            \"Yeah.\"\n            \"Personal questions,\nthough - did he ask about the hat?\"\n            \"Mmm...\" Andrew tried\nto remember, his hand coming to the bill of the cap in question that hid his\ncanid ears from the world. \"No, he didn't, but he wanted to know if I had\nany family, or if I was married, he got real\npersonal--\"\n            \"You said yes,\nright?\"\n            \"Yeah dude, of\ncourse,\" Andrew sniffed.\n            Stephen grinned. \"You big\nqueer.\"\n            Andrew gave an appreciative\nsmile to his brother. \"But yeah, uh - I guess he just...skeezed me out, if\nyou get me.\"\n            \"I do,\" Stephen\nreplied. \"He's old and respected and shit, I guess he just thinks he can\npry into somebody's life and who-gives-a-fuck, right?\"\n            \"Basically,\" said\nAndrew with a sigh. \"And his office - I just him, probably, but he...smelled weird.\"\n            Stephen stopped in mid-chew.\n\"Well you got that big dog nose, you said--\"\n            \"Yeah, yeah,\" Andrew\nwaved his hand. \"But I mean it -this was different. It was...sickly\nsweet?\" He shook his head, slowly, the memory creeping back to him.\n\"It...I'd never smelt anything like it before, and it stuck with me, yanno?\nIt just - that more than anything weirded me out, and I really dunno why...\"\n            \"Huh,\" Stephen\nanswered, having resumed chewing. \"That's, uh - that's weird.\"\n            \"Yeah...\" Andrew said\nquietly. \"Yeah it is.\"\n            \"What's he do again?\nBugs?\"\n            \"Prehistoric bugs,\" Andrew answered. \"Paleoentomology\"\n            Stephen's eyebrow rose above\nthe lens of his sunglasses. \"Wait, why--\" He took a drink. \"Uh -\nI thought you wanted to study moths--?\"\n            \"Well there were\nprehistoric moths, Brother - the field isn't as crowded as it is for--\" He\nchuckled. \"For studying living moths,\nI guess.\"\n            \"And you're okay with\nthat?\"\n            Andrew shrugged. \"Why\nnot? I wouldn't be studying directly under him so it's whatever, he'll probably\nbe on my committee but he's real busy and - good chance I won't see much of\nhim.\"\n            \"That ain't what I\nmeant,\" Stephen said knowingly.          \"What\ndid you mean?\"\n            \"C'mon. Remember? You\nwanted a new species named after you and shit?\"\n            Andrew sniffed, grinning.\n\"Ah - ah yeah, that. One thing at a time, Brother.\"\n            \"Dream big, dude.\"\n            \"Well I - there's--\"\nAndrew swallowed his food, struggling with how to phrase what he meant. \"I\nstill have that thing where - I wanna have an Attacus altas--\" He put down his fork, holding up his index\nfinger. \"--perch, right here, so I can feel its wings.\"\n            Stephen stared at his brother,\nhis face possessed with another rare quality - a wistfulness, a respect, a\nsmall smile that came from the understanding of decades between them as\nsiblings.\n            He nodded, slowly. \"Don't\nmean you still can't.\"\n            Andrew folded his finger back\ninto his hand. \"I know. He said my chances were good to get into the\nprogram, so I've kinda - quit looking around.\"\n            \"Praise Allah, he's quit looking around,\" Stephen\nguffawed sarcastically.\n            Andrew shook his head.\n\"Yeah, yeah.\"\n            Stephen sneered. \"Don't\neven try that shit! You and grad school got\nold real fucking quick.\"\n            \"Well thanks,\" Andrew said ruefully.\n\"I do remember the rant you gave me over - text, right? - a weeks back,\nhere.\" He slid his cup closer to his brother with a wry smile. \"I\nguess now that I ain't talking up every\nfour-year university on the East Coast, you can go refill my water,\nright?\"\n            Stephen's mouth drew into a\nferocious frown. \"Using my own words against me!\" He was sarcastic\nand theatrical - he threw himself in a slant as though he had been pierced with\nan imaginary arrow. \"My own brother! How! How?!\"\n            Andrew's wry smile did not\nrelent. \"You might be my brother but you're still a major dick.\"\n            Back came Stephen to lean,\nimpishly, across the table. \"Guilty, fucker.\"\nHe grabbed his brother's cup and his own. \"Water, right?\"\n            \"Yup,\" said\nAndrew with a chuckle.\n            \"Cool - be back.\"\n            As Stephen slipped off to\nrefill their drinks, Andrew pulled out his phone once more - there was the text\nnotification, the polite little envelope, and with a quick swipe of his thumb downward\nhe saw Bligh had, indeed, texted him back.\n            His eyes widened.\n            im\ngiving milk from my niples like cody not really big like him but it coming out\nnow            \"Holy shit,\" Andrew said aloud.\n\"He's - lactating?\"\n            His mind raced - why would\nthis happen? There was no indication Bligh, like Cody, could go into heat and\nhave puppies, there was no reason for his body to start a process of galactorrhea...unless\ntheir species did that, the sire and\nthe dam both producing milk in preparation\nfor the puppies being born, there were species of bats that did that but...\n            ...but if that was the case,\nwhy hadn't he, too?\n            He didn't have time to\nthink or to consider, there were entirely too many possibilities - he dashed\noff a text in response, something noncommittal, for now:\n            Is\nit bad?\n            He still waited - Stephen\nwas approaching quickly and he tapped the glass of his screen with his\nfingertip, a nervous, kinetic gesture.\n            As Stephen came back to the\ntable, an answer came:no not real bad but its weird i reckon u\nwould kno what was causing it            \"Stephen,\" he\nsaid, his voice low, his eyes trailing from the screen to his brother who had\nnot yet sat down, the drinks still in his hand. \"I - hey, uh - sit, c'mon,\nsit.\"\n            His brother did as he was\ntold but his face reflected something askance at his brother's shift in tone.\n            \"What - what, what is\nit?\"\n            \"It's - it's about\nBligh.\"\n            Stephen dug his tongue into\nhis cheek as he thirstily slurped his water - with a profound swallow, he\nfrowned.\n            \"What about him? Is\nsomething wrong?\"\n            \"Not--\" The blush\nreturned to Andrew's cheek, and the movement of his ears in his cap. \"No,\nit's just--\"\n            \"Just what, Brother, spit it the fuck\nout.\"\n            \"He's--\" Andrew\nleaned forward, voicing dipping to a whisper. \"He's begun to lactate.\"\n            Stephen recoiled, his mouth\nfell open, an unrestrained horror that any other time would have been funny: \"Oh\n- oh Jesus--\"\n            \"Now hold on, it's\nprobably nothing,\" Andrew pressed, trying to keep the conversation stable.\n\"He probably just accidentally absorbed some hormone by being around Cody--\"\n            \"That's so\ngross!\" Stephen hissed. \"That's so, so, so fucking gross--\"\n            \"How is that\ngross?\" Andrew cut in, annoyed. \"Mammals do it all the time, that's\njust how we're built.\"\n            \"But it's Bligh!\"\nStephen answered. \"You seen - you know how - how hairy he is! God he's gonna be sticky\nand--\" He mimicked a dry heave. \"Sticky! Sticky, milky, hair!'\n            Andrew sighed irritably.\n\"Keep your voice down!\"\n            \"Oh fuck off,\"\nStephen dismissed. \"Nobody knows what the fuck we're talking about--\"\nHe edged up in his seat to look around him. \"And not like anyone can hear,\nthis place is pretty loud.\"\n            Andrew was nonplussed.\n\"Still.\"\n            \"You people are like\nZoidberg, you know that?\" Andrew tilted his head, warning Stephen he was\nabout to go too far - but Stephen did anyway. \"Just - fluids, leaking stuff all the time!\" He\ngroaned. \"Why - why - why are\nyou people so nasty--\"\n            \"That could easily be you,\" Andrew said with a bite of\ndefensive anger.\nStephen's head snapped to meet Andrew's gaze - he leaned in. \n\"The fuck is that supposed to mean?\"\n            \"You're one of us - or\ndid you forget that? You even said--\"\n            \"But I'm still kinda hu--\"\n            \"No,\" Andrew cut\nhim off peremptorily. \"You aren't.\"\n            Stephen shook his head,\nsighing. \"Oh you know what I\nmean...\"\n            Andrew leaned back in his\nchair, throwing a leg over his knee, staring at the floor to gather his\nthoughts - his eyes flicked back to Stephen who was still frowning at him from\nthe other side of the table.\n            \"I think I should go\nback,\" said Andrew.\n            Stephen's frown collapsed\ninto alarm. \"N-no, hey, Brother--\"\n            \"It's not you,\"\nAndrew interrupted, knowing that Stephen would probably be worried it was\nsomething he said - his hand reached to grasp his brother's to give it a\nsqueeze. \"I know you were just joking.\"\n            \"I - y-yeah--\"\nStephen panicked was the rarest sight of all, and it made Andrew uncomfortable.\n            \"Don't worry,\"\nAndrew said with another squeeze.\n            It seemed to be Stephen's\nturn to be uncomfortable - the sudden intimacy, and in public too - he coughed\nand withdrew his hand and folded his arms.\n            \"You're serious? You're\ngoing back to - like, check him out,  see\nwhat he's--\" \n            He hesitated, and in the\nfleeting instance of his brother trying to find words Andrew realized his\ndisgust was not actually a joke but something that he really felt, something\nabout Bligh being too much like Cody, maybe, some falter in the titanic sexual\npaternalism that he knew Stephen still felt for his husband.\n            Andrew finished for\nhim: \"I'm - I am serious,\nStevie.\" He moistened his lips, staring at his phone screen. \"I'm\ngonna go back...\" he murmured, even as his thumb moved across the\ntouchscreen:\n            I'm\ngoing to come back and take a look, okay? It's okay, Stephen understands.            But even as he typed it,\nhis eyes flew back to his brother, who once again had his eyebrows above the\nlenses of his sunglasses, waiting on him.\n            \"You understand,\nright?\"\n            It was disingenuous but\nStephen seemed not to notice.\n            \"Well I mean - so, this\nis goodbye, then? So soon--\"\n            Andrew rose, slowly,\nshoving his hands, his phone with one of them, into his pockets, his tail\nstirring somewhat in his pants leg - he hesitated, trying to sum things up more\nneatly than what he ended up saying: \n            \"Yeah.\"\n            \"Well, um - you ain't\ngot much of your bowl left...\" He pointed at it.\n            \"That's - you can have\nit if you want.\"\n            \"I may,\" Stephen\nanswered, \"I'm not as fucked up as I was but...yeah.\"\n            \"Okay, that's - as\nlong as you're feeling better.\"\n            \"You gonna take the\nchips?\"\n            \"Y-yeah - Cody likes\nthem, I think he's told you.\"\n            \"Yeah, he has...\"\n            As though he was bored with\nhow much he himself had been avoiding the topic, Stephen waved his hand, a\ngesture of acquiescence. \"It's okay - I understand, I understand I can't\ncome with, neither.\"\n            The understatement behind\nit bothered Andrew at once and he barely managed to suppress a cringe.\n\"S-Stevie, listen, I know you invited me--\"\n            \"You gotta take care\nof them, right?\"\n            Andrew swallowed hard.\n\"I - uh...\" He nodded. \"Yes. Honestly? Yes. They - they need me to\n- make sense of things.\"\n            \"So there ya go,\"\nStephen replied with finality. \"We all have our roles in this - this,\nuh--\" He chortled. \"You called us family\nbut didn't Bligh call us - call us a pack?\"\n            \"He still does.\"\nAndrew gripped the bill of Bligh's cap that he had been wearing. \"So is\nthat what you think?\"\n            \"Been thinking about it, yeah.\"\n            Andrew grasped the back of\nthe chair, grinning, feeling a small relief that Stephen seemed so\nunderstanding...\n            ...until he saw Stephen's\nsuddenly darken, his mouth drawn into a frown that was not quite one of his\ncharacteristic sneers.\n            \"You take care of\nCody, okay? Bligh'll be alright but, like - yeah, take care of Cody.\"\n            \"Wha--\" \n            The abortive, meaningless half-word\nwas Andrew's defense, automatic, ingrained. He had been with Cody a year and a\nhalf and the entire time until Bligh had come that was his position, what\nStephen now called into question, protector,\nguardian, he had saved the boy - not really a boy at all, he was a full year older than Stephen - from\nhomelessness, from the street, and he had taken his safety and his security\noften more seriously than his own.\n            His ears tried to twitch\ninside the cap to a degree that was freshly painful. \"Are - are you saying\nI'm not--?\"\n            \"I have friends,\nDrewseph, at Eckerd, right now, but I don't - and they probably can't even\ntell, so that's probably fucked up of me, but whatevs - I don't really, uh, care about them?\" He sighed. \"They're\nall the same, all the same richkid trustfund smoked-weed-once-now-they're-into-Marley\nand all this - but I care about - I care about\nyou, Bligh, and - and mostly though, dude, I care about my\nbrother-in-law.\"\n            \"Your\nbrother-in-law...\" Andrew repeated quietly, almost so quiet that it could\nnot be heard above the ambient din of the restaurant. \"Cody.\"\n            \"Dakota,\" Stephen half-corrected. \"He lets me call him\nthat sometimes - but - yeah.\"\n            \"You're worried about\nhim? Why--?\"\n            Stephen shrugged - as he\ndid, looking as though he was actually trying to shrug off the very notion.\n\"It's - it's yanno with Bligh doing this it - weird things are going on\nand - ain't he - you said he was due, right?\"\n            \"Due?\" But then\nAndrew knew what he meant. \"Due\n- prob--\" He stopped, his mind racing to weigh the what he knew with what\nhe had to theorize on the spot. \"Y-yes,\" he said, trying to force\nconfidence. \"I - get - you, I - I understand.\"\n\"Yeah,\" said Stephen. \"That's it - that ain't nothing bad on you\nor anything, don't--\"\n            \"No, no,\"\nAndrew agreed. \"I told you - I understand.\" But even as he said it, he tried\nto read his brother's face. \"He's really - really your best friend - every\nsense of the word,\" he guessed.\n            \"Yup,\" Stephen\naffirmed - he leaned in, taking Andrew's disused bowl and scooping the contents\ninto his own. \"You're - well, yanno, my big bro and all that really gay\nanime stuff that comes with that--\"\nHe paused, self-aware, as an expression of disgust crossed his face. \"And\nBligh's like my dad - who I - fucked?\"\n            Andrew sniffed. \"Yeah,\nthat's - that's not--\" \n            \"So - but--\" He finished\nthe task of combining the two bowls and set the now-empty one aside. \"Cody\n- yeah, he gets me, he gets how weird I am and how - kinda--\" He stopped.\n\"What an asshole I can be, he's cool with that, we can talk for hours and\nnothing gets weird or sexual or anything...\" He stopped again, his head\nmoving slightly so that Andrew felt, behind the sunglasses, his eyes meet his\nown. \"You...know?\"\n            \"I do know,\"\nAndrew said back. \"I do - and - I said this before that, yanno, it was -\ncool y'all were friends, but...\" He smiled. \"It's not just that, he -\nhe really needs a best friend, and--\" He shrugged, still smiling. \"I\nthink the way he talks, he feels the same about you.\"\n            Stephen's face did not\nchange - it remained the same blank, the same quiet ultimatum.\n            \"So you'll take care\nof him for me.\"\n            \"Yes,\" Andrew\nsaid, feeling an earnestness he did not expect tremble his voice, his tail wag\njust slightly. \"Y-yes, I - I promise.\" And then, with a small\nchuckle: \"For both of us.\"\n            \"Thank - thank you,\nBrother,\" came the murmur - but now Stephen relented, visibly relaxing.\n\"Fuck man,\" he said with a chortle, \"I thought we were getting\nlunch, not going on no feels trip--\"\n            \"Wow,\" Andrew\nsaid with flat sarcasm. \"Memes.\"\n            \"I'm surprised your\nno-Internet-having-ass even knows a what a meme is!\"\n            \"I have the Internet, I just don't use\nsocial networks--\"\n            \"Oh kiss my ass, you\nknow what I meant.\"\n            \"Well,\" Andrew\ncontinued gamely, \"I did read Dawkins, and he coined the term--\"\n            Stephen held up a hand,\nlips pursed. \"No - no. Fuck off\nwith that atheist shit, Drewseph.\" Andrew laughed as Stephen's voice rose\nin sarcastic defiance: \"Not here,\nnot ever.\"\n            The two seemed to know this\nwas the note they would leave on - Andrew straightened up some and relinquished\nthe hand he had on the back of the chair, pressing the bag of chips to his\nside.\n            \"So I guess--\" \n            \"Actually wait,\"\nStephen cut in. \"I just wanna say one more thing - um, one more thing - I'm\nnoticing something.\" There was a strange knowing, Yoda-like tone that\nAndrew recognized at once, that piercing, inescapable insight his little\nbrother often had with others.\n            His eyebrows went up:\n\"Yeah? What's that?\"\n            Stephen looked blind like\nthis, his head up, sunglasses on, no emotion being able to register in his eyes\nor his upper face - just that same, damning smile.\n            \"You remember when you\ncalled me - first time, you know, after y'all got together?\"\n            \"I do, yeah.\"\n            \"Time I stayed with\ny'all the first time, too--\"\n            \"Um--\" Andrew\nstifled a chuckle, the memory still vaguely unpleasant, but passing into\nsomething he could laugh at last. \"Y-yeah, that also.\"\n            Stephen nearly cut him off,\npressing ahead: \"You're a lot less - jittery,\nless trying to control shit, less kinda - I mean you were a little bit of a dick, to be honest.\"\n            Andrew took the indictments\nimpassively, knowing his brother was going somewhere with this - he took into\nhand the bag of chips, still folded at the top, as he waited for him to finish.\n            \"What I'm trying to\nsay, is that - I noticed, and I - I told you this outside, but this time, you\nreally are so much more--\" He threw this head back, a brief melodrama to disarm\nAndrew and make him smile - which succeeded. \"Dare it be said? Confident.\" \n            \"Really!\" Andrew\nrejoined.\n            \"Really,\" Stephen\nsaid back. \n            He took the compliment with\na nod and a bashful grin and a stirring of his tail that he willed to ease, all\nwhile knowing that his brother was more right than he probably could have known\n- he felt, for the second time at lunch that day, the world of difference, the\ngulf between who he was then and who he was now, the division between them a\nstretch of growth that defied what he had long thought himself capable of.\n            \"Well...thank you,\nBrother.\"\n            \"Now c'mere,\"\nStephen said, motioning with both hands as he rose. \"Gimme a hug.\"\n            They came together again\nand Andrew gripped him tight, tighter than he had in the parking lot, he patted\nStephen on the back and as they separated Andrew remembered what was said about\nCody - Andrew's soulmate besides Stephen's closest semblance of a normal and\nhealthy relationship untainted by sex or paternalism - and he whispered warmly\ninto his brother's ear:\n            \"I'll take care of\nCody, okay?\"\n            \"Okay,\" came\nStephen's answer, restive with restrained emotion.\n            \"Bligh too - I know\nyou love Bligh too, we're family, I won't let nothing happen to family...\"\n            Stephen nudged him back and\nAndrew saw that he was nodding, he heard him clear his throat and for one of\nthose rare, beautiful seconds his face was absolutely humble and taken aback -\nbut it vanished, like the others, and like the others with one of those cruelly\ndemure smiles.\n            \"Get on back then -\nsave some of them chips, I'm gonna come over when my nephews are born.\"\n            Andrew laughed. \"Hope\nthey ain't too stale for ya.\"\n            \"Eh!\" Stephen\nsaid dismissively, plopping back in his seat. \"That's true, never know\nwith that organic shit - good for me or,\nwhatever.\"\n            Andrew nodded - not wishing\nfor this to drag on any longer he smiled at his brother and, that bad of chips\nin hand, waved at him goodbye, starting his way out. \n            \"Love you,\nStevie.\"\n            \"Love you,\nDrewseph,\" Stephen said back, matching his brother's tone.\n            It was a short walk outside\nbut Andrew could not help but look over his shoulder and see him, watch him,\nhis ward, his brother, younger and smaller and weaker and more unstable and so\nunlike him, so totally unlike who he was growing up and what he had grown up\ninto - he saw him pick up his phone and hold it out, taking a selfie, probably\na Snapchat to people at his college across the bridge in Saint Pete he openly\nadmitted not even giving a shit about.\n            He kept looking over his\nshoulder, a repeated action, seeing his brother, small already, become smaller\nas he paced away, smaller and then smaller again, swallowed by the buzzing\ncrowd of people in the restaurant...\n            ...Andrew didn't like it,\ndidn't like seeing his brother fade into other faces and other bodies, didn't\nlike watching the image diminish until it was nothing - it made him anxious,\nactually anxious, and he did not know why.\n            Then he was outside and the\nbalmy Tampa breeze was upon him again, the Sun shining right in his face and\nonce more the bill of Bligh's cap did little to help him - he had to squint all\nthe way back to his car.\n            He realized what he didn't\nlike about it as he read the text from Bligh with one hand - ok u did not need 2 but see u soon\ntell  stevie i love him love u too -\nturning the key in the ignition with the other.\n            He texted back:\n            Okay, I'm on my way. Love you.\n            He was passing out of the\nreal world, the world he had, mere months ago, thought he knew, back into the\nmasquerade, back into the hills and hollers of West Virginia through the\nmicrocosm of a large one bedroom apartment in Rocky Creek, Florida - he was\nbecoming himself, again, having too briefly tasted, what it was like to be\nbasically normal, having lunch with his brother at Chipotle.\n            Andrew put his Grand\nWagoneer into drive, the bag of chips in the passenger seat, and he maneuvered\nthrough the parking lot and came to the stoplight, all the while that image -\nhis brother, so small and getting smaller, taking a selfie with his sunglasses\nstill on indoors - taking on a significance, a significance he did not want to acknowledge."}