{"sf1_id":976703,"sf2_id":"bebJ6qqe","title":"Fears of a Newbie Writer","author":"DRP","words":554,"posted_at":"2016-03-17T01:11:00.000Z","tags":["Dream","Fear","Poem","doubt","hope","writer"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/976703-fears-of-a-newbie-writer","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/bebJ6qqe","image_url":"https://www.sofurryfiles.com/std/thumb?page=976703\u0026ext=.jpg","description":"","content":"I started writing this after I\u0026nbsp;submitted to an anthology, and feeling I didn't give them my best. I felt at best I only gave them a \"polished\" first draft.\u0026nbsp;Already thinking I got rejected before the letter even came. (I'm still waiting as of writing this) So I felt like\u0026nbsp;opening\u0026nbsp;a word doc and just put my thoughts to paper. Just to wonder if\u0026nbsp;writing is something I want to do.\u0026nbsp;A little bit of editing and you have what is below. The FWG liked the first draft, hopefully you'll like the \"polished\" one. Enjoy and have a nice day.\n\n**FEARS OF A NEWBIE WRITER**\n\nI'm scared of trying to be a writer.\n\nI'm scared cause I don't always believe in myself.\n\nI'm scared cause I don't know if I'm even educated enough to write.\n\nI'm scared cause part of me wants too.\n\nOne who wants to create grand new worlds.\n\nOr small scenarios that look into a character's soul.\n\nBut the other wants to hide.\n\nTo look at the others above,\n\nBut never eye to eye.\n\nI love stories. Love, Love, Love them.\n\nIn all shapes from text to screen to computer.\n\nWith the right words, in the right order,\n\nYou can convey an idea that can open a person's mind.\n\nThat happened to me when George was talking about the rabbits.\n\nHow a man tries to preserve the written word in a society that burns them.\n\nWhen a young boy living under the stairs learns he was capable of doing great things.\n\nA gray old man teaching a youth the colorful joys and pains of the world.\n\nWhen an otter discovers his true sexuality.\n\nWhen I think about them, my soul fills with hope.\n\nThese stories informed me,\n\nMold me.\u0026nbsp;\n\nAnd even saved me.\n\nA spark begins to light up.\n\nYes I can write like them.\n\nWith the right amount of time and perseverance\n\nI too can write not only a story to entertain,\n\nBut maybe a story that inspires another to write as well.\n\nSoon my mind is following with ideas.\n\nWhat to write? What the write?\n\nBut then the doubt comes in again.\n\nThe shadows whispering in my ears.\n\n\u0026nbsp;I am\u0026nbsp;not worthy.\n\nWrong education, wrong ideas, wrong person.\n\nHow dare I think I could be something great?\n\nEven writing this will be seen as nothing more then a cry for help.\n\nA cry from a weak, pathetic, sad man with no time to commit.\n\nLet alone one who wants to write about fluffy talking animals.\n\nAnd sometimes the shadows win.\n\nIt makes me blow out the spark.\n\nGot to think partially\n\nAnd a storyteller is anything but practical.\n\nAnd yet, here I am.\n\nStill writing away.\n\nI can't stop.\n\nI don't want to stop.\n\nI just opened up a Word Doc and wanted to voice out my doubts in my head.\n\nTo question myself if this is something I truly want.\n\nThen the spark lights up again.\n\nBlowing away the shadows and the words come flying out.\n\nI'm scared.\n\nI'll always be scared.\n\nBut that's not going to stop me.\n\nNot anymore.\n\nI want to be a writer.\n\nNo.\n\nI AM A WRITER\n\nNo matter whether I'm good or bad.\n\nJust doing the act is all I need.\n\nTill then I fill these pages with words\n\nAnd who knows, maybe someone will like them.\n\n  \n  \n\n"}