{"sf1_id":null,"sf2_id":"nLr4a6Ae","title":"To Be Lain Down Back Home","author":"Apolarbear17","words":472,"posted_at":"2026-01-23T03:03:53.000Z","tags":["Burial","Death","Grief","Home","Life","Poetry","Reflection","Venting"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/nLr4a6Ae-to-be-lain-down-back-home","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/nLr4a6Ae","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/fd/9e/fd9e0bf5-1d2f-4c61-b8ff-eabfb43d34e7","description":"So I finished this poem just about a month ago in late December. One of the last two things left in the current backlog. It’s a kinda morbid, grief filled piece reflective of the time/year I was writing it in. I’ll let the rest of it speak for itself.","content":"\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; **To Be Lain Down Back Home**  \n\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; **By: A.X. Bueno**  \n  \nWe all have dreams and obligations that try and pull us away from home  \nSome of us leave longer than others in pursuit of them\u0026nbsp;  \nWhether we return in the end we still end up back in the soil or some other biome\u0026nbsp;  \nIt’s rather hard to face but it is not an idea that should necessarily hem\u0026nbsp;  \nThere’s usually a lot of life in between and stories from times when we roam\u0026nbsp;  \nAnd in those roaming times when life is lived\u0026nbsp;  \nYou might find the location of your home begin to split and drift\u0026nbsp;  \nSoon you find the feelings of home are no longer from a sole place derived\u0026nbsp;  \nAnd a serious dilemma can be found in this shift  \nWell really multiple dilemmas from this shift can arise\u0026nbsp;  \nBut lately I’ve been thinking more about a particular one\u0026nbsp;  \nAnd it’s where to be put to rest after one dies\u0026nbsp;  \nWhile right now that still feels far away I’d rather be prepared in the long run\u0026nbsp;  \nNot that I’ve made any sort of plans yet that have actually left my head\u0026nbsp;  \nI wouldn’t know where to start when I have several homes to my heart  \nAnd then there’s the way my family is buried and spread  \nIf I think about it too hard I can verge on coming apart\u0026nbsp;  \nAll the final memories denied and final words unable to be said\u0026nbsp;  \nBut I also know we don’t always choose where we go or where we depart  \nStill it hurts that there’s so much family in a country which I can’t truly stay  \nSo many permanently resting there but as much as I consider it home\u0026nbsp;  \nMy feelings and spoken words hold no official sway\u0026nbsp;  \nEven if I have history there, personal and family enough to fill several a tome\u0026nbsp;  \nI’ll keep going back but probably won’t end up there at the end of the day\u0026nbsp;  \nAnd that’s been something that’s been on mind for a short while\u0026nbsp;  \nAs said before these thoughts are hard to plan for and directly face\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;  \nBut I’m learning ways to distract from them as I also learn to reconcile  \nWith all that’s gone and is going on I’m trying to figure out ways to give myself grace\u0026nbsp;  \nAt the end of it all what I ask for is there to be at least one space and time laid out for me\u0026nbsp;  \nAnd for life to let me figure it out at a slower and less worrisome, more reasonable pace\u0026nbsp;  \nI’ve got a heart split between homes but only one place I can truly be\u0026nbsp;"}