# To Be Lain Down Back Home

Author: Apolarbear17
Tags: Burial, Death, Grief, Home, Life, Poetry, Reflection, Venting

So I finished this poem just about a month ago in late December. One of the last two things left in the current backlog. It’s a kinda morbid, grief filled piece reflective of the time/year I was writing it in. I’ll let the rest of it speak for itself.

&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; **To Be Lain Down Back Home**  
&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; **By: A.X. Bueno**  
  
We all have dreams and obligations that try and pull us away from home  
Some of us leave longer than others in pursuit of them&nbsp;  
Whether we return in the end we still end up back in the soil or some other biome&nbsp;  
It’s rather hard to face but it is not an idea that should necessarily hem&nbsp;  
There’s usually a lot of life in between and stories from times when we roam&nbsp;  
And in those roaming times when life is lived&nbsp;  
You might find the location of your home begin to split and drift&nbsp;  
Soon you find the feelings of home are no longer from a sole place derived&nbsp;  
And a serious dilemma can be found in this shift  
Well really multiple dilemmas from this shift can arise&nbsp;  
But lately I’ve been thinking more about a particular one&nbsp;  
And it’s where to be put to rest after one dies&nbsp;  
While right now that still feels far away I’d rather be prepared in the long run&nbsp;  
Not that I’ve made any sort of plans yet that have actually left my head&nbsp;  
I wouldn’t know where to start when I have several homes to my heart  
And then there’s the way my family is buried and spread  
If I think about it too hard I can verge on coming apart&nbsp;  
All the final memories denied and final words unable to be said&nbsp;  
But I also know we don’t always choose where we go or where we depart  
Still it hurts that there’s so much family in a country which I can’t truly stay  
So many permanently resting there but as much as I consider it home&nbsp;  
My feelings and spoken words hold no official sway&nbsp;  
Even if I have history there, personal and family enough to fill several a tome&nbsp;  
I’ll keep going back but probably won’t end up there at the end of the day&nbsp;  
And that’s been something that’s been on mind for a short while&nbsp;  
As said before these thoughts are hard to plan for and directly face&nbsp;&nbsp;  
But I’m learning ways to distract from them as I also learn to reconcile  
With all that’s gone and is going on I’m trying to figure out ways to give myself grace&nbsp;  
At the end of it all what I ask for is there to be at least one space and time laid out for me&nbsp;  
And for life to let me figure it out at a slower and less worrisome, more reasonable pace&nbsp;  
I’ve got a heart split between homes but only one place I can truly be&nbsp;

Source: https://sofurry.com/s/nLr4a6Ae