Bird Problems
This story was written for the Oxfurred Comma Flash Fiction Contest. You can actually download the anthology for free here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1077065
A story in under 500 words is a tough thing to make happen, but it's also a fun challenge. Written in 2020 when the world was falling apart, enjoy some topical takes from that time about a bird struggling to find a suitable mask.
It’s hard trying to find a facemask when you’re a bird. Beaks were simply not designed to be covered in such a way. The sharp tip of a predatory bird beak like Arlo had, coupled with the nostril holes further up the beak, were a nightmare to try and engineer something to cover. While other creatures had lips and flesh covering up most of their nose and mouth openings, eagles had quite a lot of beak to cover. No conventional mask would work, as they’d either get torn apart by the edges, or would simply slide off the smooth surface. The lack of ears to secure the straps didn’t help either.
Early in the pandemic, it seemed that many were having the exact same problem Arlo was. There hadn’t been time for each species to get their own mask designs in stock, leaving most making do with whatever they could find. Tucking his long beak into his shirt, which was really the only option, left him with a good view of the ground, but not much else. Most other species had adapted by this point a few months in, but Arlo and his fellow avians were still struggling.
His wingtips furiously clicked over every listing on AllAvian.net, knowing it was the premier shopping location for avians. If they didn’t have something, then no other retailer would. But, after a few long searches and scrolls down the listings, his search still came up empty. There were some options listed, and one or two looked like they could work, but they were all out of stock, and they had been for a while. As Arlo reached the end of the page and found no more results, he slammed his wing down onto his computer desk out of frustration. He slumped back in his chair and let out a sigh, gazing at the one mask design he thought might actually work.
It was a long tube of stretchy material that fit over a beak like a sock, with two straps wrapping around the back of the head. The tip was reinforced with a leather square, giving it the strength it needed to withstand a beak tip. The listing even had a little video to demonstrate it, proving that a bird could communicate with it on. Arlo clicked the ‘Buy’ button a few times in desperation, but with no luck. The button was still grayed out.
His eyes started to lazily loop around his room. After a moment they locked onto his old pair of long, elastic workout pants. Summer was coming, and he needed to buy a new pair anyway. The leg holes looked just about right to fit around his beak...
With a few quick cuts, and a little elementary sewing, he fit the final product in place. He probably should’ve washed them first, but he was too proud to show off his creation to care. Watch out Wal-Mart, Arlo was ready to shop! He desperately needed some toilet paper...