Hey Jealousy Part 3: Freak on a Leash
Malik is having some... issues in the bedroom, but he also connects with a former bandmate to try to get a job.
- Freak on a Leash
Malik sat on the side of the bed, elbows on his knees, his face buried in his paws. “Fuck. I’m sorry.”
Michelle stroked a paw over the ruddy fur of his back. “It’s ok,” she said. “It’s one of the side effects.” She moved to sit beside him. “Maybe we could just cuddle for a while.”
He looked over at her. The uninterrupted swath white fur running from just under her chin, down her chest, over her belly, and between her thighs. She was small and lithe and pretty. He could see the faint blush in her ears. Could feel the warmth from her body. He knew that scent. The sweet, musk that clung to her fur. She didn’t want to ‘just cuddle for a while’ any more than he did. In that moment, he felt useless and weak and empty. He couldn’t give her what she wanted. He couldn’t even give himself what he wanted. This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened, but every time before was because he was too drunk. This was different. He was completely sober, but he couldn’t get his body to cooperate. “It’d be nice if at least one of us could get off.”
She looked up at him, studying his face to decide if this was some kind of trap. “You sure?”
A pang of guilt twisted in the fox’s chest. He’d earned her doubt. Her distrust. He put an arm around her. Nuzzled into her neck. “Yeah. What do you want me to do?”
Michelle looked at him, her dark eyes considering her options. “Lie back,” she said. “Just hold me.”
Malik nodded and followed her instructions. He lay back on the bed and wrapped the mouse in a warm embrace as she snuggled up close against him, her head resting on his chest. Michelle was quiet as he stroked a paw over the soft fur of her back and arm. He might have thought she was asleep except that her breathing came in quick, soft pants and her ears were flushed bright red. Then she twitched with a shallow gasp. Wordlessly, she grasped his wrist and move his paw to her breast.
The mouse made sharp exhalations through her nose. Pressed herself close against the fox. Then she shuddered. Panted, her breath slowing. She held Malik’s paw in place. “Kiss me,” she said. There was a need in her voice. An ache. So he did. Warm and soft. His lips touching hers with tenderness. He moved his paw from her breast to cup her cheek. He could tell that she had come. The look in her eyes. The way she was sensitive to his touch. And then he realized that the way she would moan and whine was a show for him. Something to boost his ego. And he felt like shit for it.
“I love you,” he said. And he meant it. Maybe for the first time, he meant it.
“Love you too,” she murmured, settling her head on his chest. She absently ran her fingers through his belly fur. “I heard Emily got a promotion.”
What the fuck kind of pillow talk is that? “Yeah?” Malik said, stroking Michelle’s arm. He didn’t want to think about Emily. Not yet. He knew he’d need to make amends with her at some point. Make a list of all the ways he screwed her over and treated her badly. But that was later. He was trying to get his relationship with Michelle back on track. And he was. Slowly. Bit by bit. He saw it in her eyes and smile. In the way she cuddled up to him on the couch. In bed. But there was something in him that still smoldered for Emily. Some dark, half-remembered feeling. He wanted to forget that feeling completely. Feelings like that were trouble. “I’m glad she’s getting ahead. She deserves it.” That’s what people say when they hear good news about someone else, right?
“Kicking your ass to the curb seems to have done her some good,” Michelle said, tickling Malik under his arms for a moment. “Joking. I will say, it’s definitely done you some good.” She turned her head and nuzzled under his chin. “I’m proud of you, foxy.”
“You’re hilarious,” Malik said through a forced chuckle. There was truth in what she said about Emily, but it still hurt to think that he was holding her back. That hurt. It did make him feel good to get some praise for his efforts, though.
“Speaking of hilarious, Tommy’s supposed to come over tomorrow.” She pulled the blanket over them and settled back in. Then she announced, “Proto, turn off the bedroom lights.”
“You got it!” chirped a pleasant voice as the lights in the room faded.
“What does he want?” Malik knew Tommy well. A ferret from up north. One of his old bandmates from when he was with Chrysalis. He couldn’t remember if they got along or not, but most of the bands Malik played with didn’t part with the fox on good terms.
“He heard you cleaned up and said there’s a job for you if you want it.”
“What kind of job. I can’t go back to playing. Too much temptation.” God it was tempting. Get drunk in the afternoon so you’re just buzzed by the time you hit the stage. Top off after your set. Go fuck some groupies in the green room or in the venue’s bathroom or in the van. That was how he met Michelle. She was just one of the few who caught up with him the next day.
“Jesus, no,” Michelle laughed. It was the ‘no shit’ kind of laugh she gave when he said something obvious. “He manages a print shop.”
“Manages a print shop,” Malik echoed. He closed his eyes and took a breath. Michelle wanted him to get a job. Wanted him to go work. Maybe she was tired of him leaching off her. Living in her apartment. Eating her food. What did she care, though? She got money from her folks. He didn’t know exactly how much it was, but she never hurt for money. She never thought about whether she could go out to eat with friends. Whether she could afford to park downtown. “Why not just have me go down and talk to him at his shop?”
“He said he wanted to catch up with you.”
“Probably wants to be sure I’m actually sober.” There was more snark to his words than he intended.
“Probably,” Michelle huffed. She rolled over on to her side facing away from him. “I have classes in the morning,” she said. Conversation over.
“Yeah,” Malik agreed. “Night.” He lay there staring up into the darkness, feeling alone as Michelle dozed beside him.
* * *
“I just had to see it for myself.” The ferret had aged. He was in his early thirties at that point. Malik thought he looked like a manager the moment Tommy stepped into the apartment, whatever that meant. He was heavier. He hadn’t dyed his fur loud colors. His piercings were still there, but they were more subtle. No mor chains from his nose to his ears. He wore glasses. He was wearing one of the old Chrysalis band shirts with a date five years before across the back.
Malik grasped Tommy’s paw and pulled him close, clapping him on the back. “What’s up, motherfucker?” he laughed. Old friend. That’s what they were playing. Forgetting the shit that probably went down. Malik had forgotten, but Tommy probably remembered.
“Trying to get your sorry ass a job, bitch,” Tommy gave the fox a playful shove. Probably playful. “That’s what’s up.” He pulled a pack of cigarettes from his jeans. “Mind if I smoke?”
“Balcony,” Malik pointed. Did anyone smoke tobacco anymore?
Tommy stepped out and used an antique silver lighter to spark up. “So,” he began, pausing to take a drag. “How’d you land this cushy spot?”
“I thought you wanted to talk about a job.” Malik closed the door to keep the smoke out of the apartment.
Tommy held out the pack to Malik, shoving it back into his hip pocket when the fox just stared. “A job. Right. Well, our girl Michelle’s pretty sure that you would be able to hold down a day job. Is she right about that?”
Malik crossed his arms. “So, this job thing is all her idea?”
Tommy pointed at Malik, cigarette burning between two fingers. “Look, brother, there ain’t a lot of girls would reach out to someone and talk your cranky ass up like she did. Show some respect.”
Malik could have fought. Wanted to. Thought better of it. He nodded. “You’re right. She’s the only reason I’m not out on the street.”
“Damn straight.” Tommy flicked the cigarette butt off the balcony into the street below. “I’m sticking my neck out for her, not you.”
“Got it.” He wanted to ask why. What was Tommy’s relationship with Michelle that he would feel like he owed her anything?
Tommy leaned on the balcony rail and looked out over the neighborhood. “I manage a shop over on Fourth. Walking distance. I could do a little creative work on your application and get you on without much of a problem. Probably only a couple of bucks over minimum wage to start, but it looks like you aren’t hurting for cash.”
Malik mirrored Tommy’s posture, leaning against the rail with folded arms. “What’s the job exactly?”
Tommy snorted in through his nose then cleared his throat, bringing phlegm into his mouth that the spat down into the sidewalk. “Moving paper at first. Then working the machines. Eventually you’ll do it all.” He turned his face to Malik. Gave one of those assessing looks. “That little mouse of yours is really watching out for you.”
Malik hung his head. “I know.”
Tommy turned his attention back out on the street. Or maybe nothing in particular. He took a deep breath. “It’s good you’re getting clean. You should be proud.” He stood up. “I know that mouse of yours is.”
“Yeah?” Malik swiveled his ears.
“My cousin has classes with her. She tells me about how she just talks about you all the time. ’Malik hasn’t had a drink in a month now. You should see how healthy his looks. He doesn’t have those mood swings anymore. He really treats me well.’ All that shit. How true is it?”
Malik shrugged. “I mean, I think it’s pretty accurate.” He held out his paws. Empty. “She treats me better than I deserve.”
Tommy was quiet for a moment. That assessing look again. Then he smiled and clapped a paw on Malik’s shoulder. “Good. You got anything to eat?”
“I guess we could order a pizza or something.”
“Yes!” Tommy pumped his fist and let himself in through the balcony door, throwing himself on the sofa. “What made you get out of music?”
“Pissed everyone off.” Malik locked the balcony door and sat down. “Proto, order a large works for delivery from Tony’s.”
“Got it!” The AI voice chirped. “Ordering you a large works pizza from Tony’s for delivery. Would you like to include a tip?”
“Yeah. Fifteen percent. Before tax.” Malik announced.
“Sure thing! I’ll be sure to add a fifteen percent gratuity to the total before tax. Is there anything else?”
“Keep us updated with the status.” Malick said.
“Will do!”
Tommy kicked his feet up on the coffee table. “I don’t trust that shit. Spying on us all the time.”
Malik chuckled. “Yeah, well, it’s convenient as fuck.”
Tommy nodded. “What do you miss about being in a band?”
“I don’t know,” Malik said. It was weird. He had to actually think about his answer. What did he miss? What was better? Anything?
“For me, it’s the pussy. Getting up in a different girl every night. Seeing how bad they want you. How they’d let you do absolutely anything.” The ferret closed his eyes as if reliving the ecstasy of those moments. “I remember that you’d nail anything that was wet between the legs, but you really got into the squeak toys after a couple of months. Some mouse showed up to the green room and Marcus would lead her right to you.” Tommy shook his head and laughed. Then he sighed. “Fuck. That was the life. But we got old and boring.” He held up a fist.
Malik gave Tommy a bump as he sat down on the sofa. “Old and boring,” he repeated. “I guess, when I think back, I miss the crowd. Seeing everyone there having a good time. Being part of it, but, like, also being the cause. We made those good times for them. Made those memories.”
“That’s fucking poetic. I think I’m gonna cry,” Tommy said, miming wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. He laughed and shook his head. “I wish I could go back and do it all again.” He looked over at Malik. “Right?”
Malik was quiet for a moment. He really had what he wanted. A hot girlfriend who loved him more than he deserved. A roof. Food. Soon, he’d have a job. “No.”
Tommy laughed in disbelief. “Fuck you, bro. No way you don’t miss that shit.”
“If I could go back, I’d tell myself to knock it the fuck off. Quit while I’m ahead.” Malik looked at his paws. “Not burn so many bridges.”
“Yeah,” Tommy nodded. “I’ll give you that one.”