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Guided By the Stars

"You are hereby sentenced to exile to New Britain for your crimes! May God grant you peace and help you seek redemption!" I awoke suddenly as those words echoed in my ear. My heart was racing as I sat up thinking it was all a dream. I longed to be home in England, in my own home and not some musty ship. I sniffed the air and let out a small huff as I realized the musty smell was from me. I must have let out some musk during the night while I slept and did not realize it, but the truth was, I could not remember the last time I had a nice shower nor bath. I smirked to myself and stood up from the hay and dusted off before making my way to the top deck. It was night out and the stars were shining brightly as I looked off toward the horizon. I glanced up at the night sky and began looking for Polaris, the brightest star in the sky. Maybe if I found it, I could get my bearings, my tail was flicking against my leg as I thought back to my astrology lessons hoping to find some clue as to what direction we were headed. If we were going north, I would have a chance to lose the disguise sooner rather than later, but I still needed a spark and a reason to do so. I had no intentions of getting into trouble as soon as we landed, but I knew my luck that I somehow always ran into trouble. I closed my eyes for a minute trying to clear my head and focus as memories began to fill my head once more. There were only a few passengers on the main deck, and I could hear a few conversations taking place from the quiet atmosphere.

"It's a shame what happened to him."

"I hope he did not suffer through that ordeal."

"If you ask me, he would have been better to suffer."

"He did a lot of good for England and the people."

"But he broke the law."

"He did what he thought was necessary."

I made my way to eavesdrop more on the conversation going on among the small group of passengers discussing the recent death of Alexzander Monroe and being one of his good friends, I felt I had to intervene on his behalf to protect him and his legacy. He was a good person at heart and even though his life was not easy, he did the best he could to make the most of it and become an outstanding citizen. I flicked my tail softly and batted an ear as I approached I softly cleared my throat.

"If I may interject for a moment, I disagree with what you said that about him doing what he thought was necessary."

"If he did not do it because he thought it was necessary, then why did he commit such heinous acts and crimes?"

"Because the law failed and when the law fails to uphold justice and honor and peace, what are the people to do?"

"People do not have the right to take law into their own hands regardless of the reasons"

"Even if those you loved are hurt and the law turns its back and commits crimes of its own accord? If the law is not upheld who do the people turn to?"

"They turn to the people in power. They turn to the governor, mayor, duke, baron, or king."

"What if they are just as corrupt as the law and relegate justice to be served by men hand chosen by those loyal to the corrupted powers?"

"Regardless of who is in power, the law is not to be taken into civilian hands."

"He was more than a civilian. He was handpicked by the king."

"Then the king was a fool for handpicking someone like him."

"Are people born corrupt or do they become corrupt?"

"Who are you young man?"

"The name's Rex Vulpine, I am an acquaintance of the late Alexzander Monroe. If not for his death I would not be on this ship."

"He is burning in hell for his crimes if you ask me."

"If you ask me, he welcomed his trip to hell after all he did say he wanted to overthrow the devil in more than one instance when he was in a drunken stupor."

The group of gentlemen with the exception of a wolfhound let out a hearty laugh and chuckled loudly. The wolfhound that spoke ill of Alexzander looked at me in disdain and sneered before turning to leave the rest of us. After a few minutes of a jovial time with the gentlemen, and a bastard from the lower quarters they started to make their way back to their cabins. It had to have been past midnight from the lack of passengers walking around and was probably in their cabins asleep. I had always had difficulty staying asleep from constant nightmares and night terrors even in my youth, I did not sleep well and I blamed my parents for that. They would often stumble home drunk and then proceed to mate as soon as they walked through the door or would go into the parlor, and if they were in their bedroom they would make the loudest of noise that could have woken the dead. My childhood at the start was very good, but as the years passed by, the good days began to decrease day by day.

___________________________________________________________________________

"What are you doing? You should be in bed asleep young man."

It was nanny, my parents' maid and my keeper. She was an Australian Shepherd with a very rich accent that matched her heritage. Her fur was black with white spots hidden behind her maid smock and apron.

"I was trying to find a shooting star."

My voice was very squeaky. I must have been about three at the time and had a difficult time walking on my own. I could walk easily enough if I held onto a rail or someone's hand. I was husky for my age and looked more like a ball of fluff than a fox kit.

"It is hard to find a shooting star when the stars are not even out."

"Why do we have stars and what are they?"

I never really had much of a chance to talk with my parents. They were firm believers in the theory that children were seen and not heard, but there were quite a few days I would be able to ask my parents questions. I was always very inquisitive, curious, and more often than not, very clumsy. I tried to step down off the small bench from the window, but my pajama footie didn't have any grip to them as I fell onto the blanket and pillow I had dragged over to the bench. Nanny quickly hurried over to me and smiled warmly as she picked me up.

"We have stars to guide us. They help people who are lost find their way and give them guidance. The largest of these is Polaris, the North Star. Stars are small clusters of light and gas that glow."

"So, they're like coal, but stuck in the sky?" She started to rock me back and forth a little bit.

"In a way yes, but instead of leaving black residue, they are very clean."

"Am I clean Nanny?" She let out a small chuckle as she stood up and picked up the blanket and pillow with her free paw and held me with the other.

"You are very clean my child." She placed the pillow in my crib and set me down for just a second as she wrapped me in the blanket.

"Nanny, when will I be able to sleep in a bed?" She picked me back up and carried me back over to the rocking chair.

"When you are able to keep from falling out of your bed now, and I am not talking about your crib." I nuzzled my head against her bosom and wrapped my tail around myself as I let out a small yawn.

"I am glad I have you Nanny, I would be lost without you."

"As long as you have stars and the wind, you will never be lost."

_____________________________________________________________________________

I opened my eyes as I felt a light breeze fill the air. I could not help myself to look in the direction it was blowing from and was met with ash from a cigarette as a passenger walked by hitting me right on the side of the face. I wanted to say something, but stopped when I saw it was a hound dog and the constable of the ship. I never understood why hounds, beagles, and German Shepherds were always police officers. I knew they had good noses, but when it came to solving crimes, they relied too much on them. I was glad to have turned my head back to the horizon when I caught a glimpse of Polaris. We were headed north, and my eyes began to glisten with hope. I knew it was going to be a long time before I became comfortable with my surroundings. I perked my ears a little hearing lively music coming from the café onboard and made my way to listen to the enjoyable sounds of reveille and merriment. I stopped just short as the corner of my caught a glimpse of the corkboard to the side of the entrance and I stood there for a minute looking at a flyer with a picture of a lion holding a leash around a canine's neck.

"No canine's allowed without a leash or collar, especially those of the lower class, since most of you cannot even afford a collar."

It was a tom cat with a calico by his side. I did not have to read what was under the picture to get the point, and I did not need some "cat" reading to me. If he only knew who I was, and if I was not afraid of getting into trouble, I would have chased him to the roof of the bridge. I did not want some "cat" looking down on me because I was a canine, if anything, felines were below canines in my own personal opinion. I stood there for a moment as I looked at the different flyers and posters. Most were pictures with felines over powering canines. Only in New Britain would that happen, after all fat cats did control the power and money, but they did not have the respect of canines nor the felines who did not have money or power. I closed my eyes once more as memories flooded my head once more.

__________________________________________________________________________

I was seated in the kitchen reading a book to nanny and wore a small brown and black plaid pair of pants and a white buttoned shirt.

"Merlin took the crown and placed it on Arthur's head while the subjects began to chant long live the king!"

"Fascinating story Alexzander, I am very impressed with your reading ability." Nanny was cleaning up in the kitchen and smiled warmly to me as my light blue eyes sparkled in the light coming from the ceiling.

"Nanny, why will father or mother not send me to school?" She smirked and looked at me, because you are too young and too small.

"You are not even five yet, Alexzander, but you are very gifted. Not many children can read as many books as you and retain the information. You have a gift, and if used properly, you will be able to do extraordinary things my child."

Just then the kitchen door opened and my mother walked in. She was wearing a dark purple and violet dress that was somewhat immodest. It was very short in the front around her waist that showed off her bloomers and petticoat, but it was long in the back. It was tied off around the waist by a lavender belt and the rest made her bosoms look as if they were going to pop out. Her fur was greyish brown with streaks of red mixed in. My mother's amber eyes did not shimmer or have any shine or sparkle to them. I hardly ever saw them sparkle to be honest.

"Alexzander, you spend way too much time reading. Go do something fun for a change, like play in the dirt or with your toys."

"But," She cut me off before I could respond.

"No buts young man."

Unlike my father, my mother had a very strong French accent. I found it peculiar that my father would marry someone that was not British. She walked over to a cabinet and took a small key from a pocket in her dress and proceeded to unlock it. I watched in silence and went back to reading while nanny went back to cleaning, and I happened to glance up and watch as my mother take a jar out with red leaves in it and removed one before placing the jar back in the cabinet and locked it back. I watched nanny frown seeing her remove the leaf as she left the kitchen.

"What was that leaf nanny?" I whispered to her softly hoping my mother or father did not hear me.

"It is medicine females will sometimes take to protect themselves."

"Protect them from what Nanny?" I looked at her as she removed her apron and put a cloak on and picked up her hat.

"Get your jacket Alexzander. We are going to go for a walk. I want to introduce you to some friends of mine and if you behave, I might even buy you something."

I completely forgot about my unanswered question and hurried to grab my jacket and small hat. It was more of a waddle than a run. I was still having difficulty walking that day and let out a small whimper as I started to get frustrated at not being able to walk fast nor run. I hated being small and husky. When I finally did get my jacket, nanny was already at the front door waiting on me.

"We're heading for a walk." Nanny called out to my parents.

"Take your time." My father responded back from the parlor room.

"We will be back in time for supper." Nanny said to me as she walked out the door

"But what about tea time?" I whimpered to her as I struggled to put my jacket on.

"We will stop in town for tea."

________________________________________________________________________

"Are you daft boy? This is a feline only café unless you have a leash or a collar."

I shot the tomcat a cold stare and sucked air into my mouth letting out a small ticking sound in the process. My fur was on end and I wanted to strike him in the mouth, but I knew for the moment, I was going to have to take the high road for a bit. I could not allow this to get the better and for the first time in my life I was going to have to walk away from a fight.

"That's a good doggie, now run along to your mother."

I stopped dead in my tracks as I tapped my tail against the deck of the ship and began to contemplate knocking him out and getting thrown in the brig or do I keep walking and lower my hat. I lowered my hat and kept walking toward the back of the ship.

"That cat is nothing more than a foul beast if you ask me." It was the voice of a coyote talking to a wolf nearby.

"I say we slit the bastard's throat and throw him overboard."

"We heard how he spoke to you, either you have some gall to take that from him or you are just a coward."

If we were in England, I would have knocked both those dogs out and made them know that I was no coward. I knew I was going to have to take the high road yet again and become the coward that I was as a child.

"I'm not looking for trouble." I said softly as I started to walk past them.

"Oh, you're not looking for trouble?"

"Are you sure you're not a yellow skunk? I see a large streak down your back."

"Let me pass." They stood up and proceeded to block my path.

"Are you a fox or a dog?"

"Let the doggie go, if he wants to be a whipped dog, let him be a whipped dog."

Their words stung as they let me pass by and I made my way to the back of the ship and I felt nothing but shame. There was nothing I could do to change things. I did not have a choice but to put on a charade to protect myself. I felt the wind blow from the side and I turned and lowered my head as I closed my eyes thinking back to old memories once more.

___________________________________________________________________________

"Alexzander, I know you do not like walking on your own, but these streets are filthy and I do not want you to fall. You are more than welcome to hold my paw, but I will not carry you."

I started to whimper and sat down on at the top step leading up to the front door. I did not want to have to walk so far on my own. Nanny leaned down and smiled as she put a paw to my head and looked me in the eyes.

"You must learn to walk on your own two feet my child. I know it is difficult, but the only way to learn is with practice. Take my paw and I will help you learn." She smiled warmly to me as I stood up and started to stand up on shaky legs.

"I am going to fall, nanny."

"I will catch you if you do fall Alexzander." She picked me up and placed me at the base of the bottom step and stood me up holding my paw in hers.

"Now then, just flex your tail like a kangaroo." She took her paw and very gently brushed it over my tail flexing it like she wanted.

"Then you just put one foot in front of the other and you will be walking on your own in no time." She stood back up and with my paw in hers. I slowly started to walk and smiled warmly as I started to feel more and more comfortable with each step.

"Well done my boy! Well done indeed!" She said to me and we caught a few smiles from people walking by as I learned to take my first steps on my own without fear of falling.

"In time, you will learn to run, but you must first learn to walk."

"Thank you for teaching me Nanny." I hugged her leg and brushed my face against it.

She patted my head, "You are very welcome my dear, now let us go on one an adventure!"

I smiled warmly to her as she guided me through the streets of London and around the different townhouses. We made our way to the market area and I stayed right with her with my paw in hers as she led me to a small shop. I perked my ears hearing strange music. It was a traveling caravan of gypsies.

"Nanny, could I go see the gypsies?"

She let out a small sigh, "Alright as soon as we go in here and look around for a minute, I will take you to see the gypsies."

"But Nanny, I want to see the gypsies now!" I was starting to get a little tired from walking on my own and could not help myself but to whimper and fuss as Nanny shot me a cold glance and I knew right then that I had better straighten up or else I was going to get popped.

"It won't take us long Alexzander, besides I made a promise to you that if you read that book that I would buy you a gift."

My eyes lit up in joy as I started to move my tail from side to side in excitement. I have found it funny how a child's temperament can go from being fussy to joy when someone mentions the word "gift". I very seldom received gifts from my parents and even around Christmas time my parents would only give me a small gift, but I treated it with care even if it was a pair of mittens or a scarf. I remembered the lessons Nanny taught me more than my parents. This was when I began to learn from Nanny what it meant to be cheerful and thankful for what I had rather than what I did not have.

"You may pick out one toy Alexzander, but it has to be something you will use and be thankful for."

"Yes Nanny, I will be very thankful for it"

She held onto my paw as we walked into the small shop, it was not much of a toy store, but more of a surplus store. It had clothes and textiles for making suits and dresses. Most of the products were hardware and tack supplies for stables and horses, shelves that had decorative figures, behind the counter and register were shelves that contained tonics and different types of medicines, and over in the back corner was a small selection of toy soldiers and dolls and a few games. I let out a small groan not seeing something I liked and immediately felt Nanny squeeze my paw gently and give me a firm look as she smirked and looked at a shelf that was just above the toy soldiers and immediately my eyes lit up. It was a decent sized blue ball that had a white star on both sides and separated by a bright red stripe.

"Could I get the ball Nanny?"

"If that is what you want and feel like you will get the most use out of, then yes you may."

She picked up the ball and I could not help but to laugh as she jumped hearing a couple of bells ring as she picked it up. She immediately looked down at me to see if I was ringing a bell or messing with something that was ringing. She started to put it back on the shelf as if she was not supposed to have picked it up in the first and that was when the store owner walked over smiling warmly and chuckling to himself. He was a rather lean golden retriever with bright orange fur and the suit he was wearing made him look like a reverse creamsicle. I had to cover up my muzzle to keep from laughing at his white suit with a black vest and bow tie.

"That is a very unique ball. The bells inside of it will shift as you roll it and it can also bounce."

"It bounces?"

I couldn't help but speak up as I heard that word. I had heard my parents talk of new inventions that allowed for certain items to bounce or pull then return to its original shape, but I had never seen something bounce in person until I saw the saw the store owner very gentle pick the ball up and drop it catching it as it bounced back up and swiftly as the bells made the ball shift in midair.

"Alexzander, if that is what you want, then you may get it. I just ask that you be careful playing with it inside the house and be mindful of where you throw it. It can bounce off of walls and breakable objects. You cannot play with it until we get home and only either outside or inside your nursery. Is that understood?"

"Yes Nanny."

I was smiling from ear to ear as the shop owner smiled warmly to me as he handed the ball to Nanny. Once Nanny finished picking out a few small items for the house she proceeded to pay for the ball and the few bottles of oils and tonics that she purchased. I recognized a few of the tonics from having to take some of that nasty medicine whenever I would start sneezing or coughing, while the oils were used to keep the nursery smelling fresh along with the rest of the house. She held the bags of the purchase and kept the bag well out of my reach as we started to walk towards the gypsies I could hear people around us and watch as they shifted stuff around their pockets.

"They are not going steal anything from me."

"Watch yourself, they will steal you blind."

"If so much as one of those beasts touches, I'm screaming for the police."

We stopped for a brief moment as we neared the center of the market where several booths were setup and street performers were doing magic tricks and singing songs. Even children would perform and hold their caps or hands out asking for tips and money. It was no surprise people said the things they did about them.

"People can be so cruel sometimes Alexzander. They do not know these people at all and automatically jump to conclusions without knowing anything about them."

"Why are people like that?"

"Because they listen to rumors and think every rumor is true."

I watched as nanny sighed deeply and frowned as she shook her head hearing the conversations from nearby walkers and citizens. I flicked my tail and looked around at the different booths that were setup and run by the gypsies. It was almost like the carnival was in town, and in the middle was a cart that had the word Fortune Teller written on the side. I was intrigued by it and wanted to see if I would have good luck.

"Nanny, could I go to the fortune teller?"

She looked at me in shock as if I had just used profanity and frowned. She shook her and led me to the different booths allowing me to look at the plays that were being performed by puppeteers, watch as dancers performed with grace and style, saw men lift weight ten times their size. I was in awe of the wonders around me, but my mind and thoughts kept going back to the fortune teller's cart. I was able to get a good look at it as we passed by it and saw stars painted on to it in the form of the big dipper with Polaris dotting the I in the Fortune Teller's name, Madame Zetira.

"Nanny, Polaris is directing me to the fortune teller."

"Alexzander, why do you say that?"

"Because Polaris is on the side of the cart."

She huffed as I said that and I could tell that she did not like the idea of me going to a fortune teller. I would often see her with a crucifix around her neck and Sunday mornings, she would leave the house for an hour or so then return and remove the crucifix before going about her daily duties. I knew nothing about religions or the ideals behind them, if anything I was confused by them. Just as Nanny was guiding me past the front of the cart, we jumped hearing a rather raspy voice and it was an accent I was not familiar with at the time, but as I traveled through the years, it was an accent common in the Caribbean islands. It was Madam Zetira, the fortune teller. She was a dark furred animal, a mix of several breeds and only by looking at her muzzle, could you tell she was a canine. Her ears were that of a fennec with two earrings in her right ear and matching bracelets on her wrists

"De liddle one knows his sdars, does he know how di use dem?"

"He knows Polaris and that is the only one he should know."

"Does he know dat de wind can guide him as well?"

"How can the wind guide someone?"

"The wind cannot guide anyone, Alexzander, it just blows."

"De wind can be a guide, if you know how di use id."

"Zetira, I will not let you poison him with your spells."

"De liddle one is no differend from his fader."

"He is very different from his father."

"Bud he has de same abilidies, dey are jes hidden."

Nanny glanced at me then at the fortune teller and motioned for me to go towards her. I did not know at the time, but Nanny and the fortune teller knew each other from their youth. I do not know the full story, except they were good friends, until Madame Zetira dabbled with soothsaying.

"Go to her Alexzander, but be warned that the devil will be ever present."

"De devil does not scare me, bud his demons do."

I walked slowly towards the back of the cart and held onto the side as Madame Zetira met me at the steps in the leading inside to her small living quarters. She was very short and used a twisted cane to help her walk. I later learned that she could walk without the cane, but it was easier for her to walk using the cane. The inside of her cart was filled with books, vials of different liquids, and numerous boxes stacked up. There was a curtain hanging from one wall to the other.

"Do nod be frighdened liddle one. I will nod harm you. You have difficuldy walking do you nod?"

"I-I do." I stammered out as I walked over to a small pillow and fell down landing softly on top of it. My legs were tired from walking on them all day and I was ready to go home and be carried or lay down to rest.

"You have a brighd fudure ahead of you. Look indo my eyes."

She leaned down over me and gazed into my eyes placing her hands onto my legs. As I looked into her eyes, I could see stars shining brightly as a strange feeling came over me, the muscles in my legs began to relax and the tension from walking began to fade away. I did not know what she did to me, but I learned that she knew things that I could never understand and had abilities that made me question if everyone was capable of such feats. She could see into the future without putting any effort into it. She could conjure up a potion or poison if the reason came about, but there was anything I learned that day, it was that a friend can be found in the strangest of places. After a few minutes had passed, her eyes returned to normal and she helped me stand up and for the first time, my legs did not hurt nor did they feel tired, in reality, they felt very light. She looked at me and smiled warmly as she hugged me back.

"Thank you Madam Zetira, I will never forget you and I wish I could pay you."

"I accept your hug as paymend. Our pahs will cross again young one and do nod worry, for I will nod turn you away. You will always have a friend in Madame Zedira."

"Thank you again Madame Zetira."

"You are quide welcome liddle one. Now go, before Nanny geds too upsed wid me."

She opened the door for me and without even thinking or noticing I walked swiftly to Nanny and she smiled warmly seeing me walk without having to hold on to anything for the first time and held me close trying not to drop the parcels. I had a wonderful time that day with Nanny and on the way home I stayed several feet in front of her walking and running or let her get ahead of me and run to her passing her in the process. I had never felt so happy before in my life and hoped there would be many days like this ahead of me, and there were several good days. The good days of my childhood would eventually fade as I became older and witnessed my parents turn cold toward me.

____________________________________________________________________________

I flicked my tail feeling a rain drop hit my cheek. I brushed it off and was thankful it was only a raindrop and not a tear. The rain started to pour down softly as the wind blew against my back guiding me towards the bottom of the ship and out of the storm that was forming. This was going to be a long voyage to New Britain and if this was how I was to spend my days reminiscing of a past life, I was going to have to prepare myself to face both the good and the bad. I was unsure how I was going to do that, when there were some memories I had forgotten and locked away never wanting to relive again. The joys of being able to walk would soon turn into pain as I had to shoulder the burden of being an unwanted son to parents who never even loved me.