FSE

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One day, I got dressed to go to college. I always had about half an hour left for me to go to class, so I usually flopped down every morning on the couch with a nice hot cup of coffee to wake up slowly. Every day, a friend of mine drops by, seeing as he only lived a couple of blocks away and we drink coffee together before we both went to college. So that day was no exception. But I was really moody that morning for some reason. As soon as I opened the door, I noticed he was standing there with a big grin, but as soon as he saw my sour face, that grin quickly disappeared. 'The hell is wrong with you?' Terry asked me with a frown.

'It's still early in the morning. I just woke up. And... It's Monday. So please...' I let out a quick sigh and tried to keep my eyes open as we made our way to the living-room, but that wasn't so easy. 'What happened?'

'Couldn't sleep last night...'

'Oh.'

'Coffee...?'

He nodded and flopped down on the couch while staring outside. After I brought him a cup, I sat down next to him, pulled my knees up and supported my head on it while staring into blank space. I noticed from the corner of my eyes that Terry looked at me for a short moment. He stirred in his cup while I took a small sip from my coffee and it was pretty damn hot, so I quickly placed it back on the table, trying not to spill. 'Problems...?' he asked with a certain hesitation in his voice. Again, I let out another sigh. 'Naah... Not really...' 'You sure? You've been acting kinda strange lately.'

'Well, I don't know... It's just that... Sometimes...'

'Yuuuuuuuuush?'

'Sometimes I just wonder where my life is going, you know...'

Terry... My best friend. He's a Husky and a really good looking one too. He has his "occasional girlfriend" every now and then and his relationships never last very long. Every girl who knows him is very fond of him, and they'll probably do everything just to be with him. And with everything, I mean absolutely "everything"... Sometimes I asked about his adventures and he doesn't talk much about it, but whenever we were, he always had this huge grin on his face. It never really went into details, and the talks we had about his "adventures" were rather short. It was if he didn't want me to know about it or something. Nevertheless, I was one of the rare girls who hang out on a daily basis with him, and I guess some girls were jealous of me. But they didn't know I wasn't interested in him. We are just close friends. Terry is always very sweet and kind towards me. And he was the only one I trusted my deepest secrets to. He knew I was lesbian, and we checked out girls together. Hehehe... Maybe that was the reason why we stayed together for such a long time. It's not very common for a guy to meet a girl who's only interested in other girls and not him, and know about it. And well... Its fun to hang out with him. It never gets boring around him and he manages to have fun wherever he's going. Terry is the kind of guy who can bring a cemetery to life. Figure of speaking that is...

Terry placed his cup down again on the table. I guess he thought the coffee was hot too and pulled a bit of a funny face when he sipped his coffee. I let out another sigh and stared outside the window. And then Terry looked at me again. 'Dude... You're moody and looking depressed at the same time. That never can be a good medical condition thing.' I let out a big yawn and stretched my legs, seeing as I started to feel a cramp from the way I was sitting. 'I'm just a little moody. I'm still not used to getting up early...'

'Yeah, I can tell. Hehehehe...'

'I just don't know, Terry.'

'About what?'

'About my whole life and where it's heading right now.'

'Well, what exactly is bothering you then...?'

'That's the thing. I don't know what's bothering me.'

'You tried talking to someone...?'

I talked to Meagan about it but... It didn't really help. I just couldn't figure out what it is that was bothering me. So I just shrugged and stared in blank space again. 'You feel lonely?' Terry asked while I heard the hesitation in his voice.

'Yeah... Well.... Sometimes.... I mean... You seem to do quite well. And I'm just wondering why it's not working out for me. And... Meagan seems to be doing fine as well...'

'Ah.'

The way he said "ah" sounded so sarcastically that I didn't really know how to reply. It felt as if I just gave a stupid answer to his question... But still, I wanted to know what he meant with that. "Ah" isn't really that much of an answer... So I just looked at him, waiting for him to explain. He just frowned at me and had this little smile on his face... 'You're jealous of her.' 'Huh? What? N-no, I-I'm not jealous of her b-but-'

'Seriously. Think about it. You're too obsessed with Meagan to move on. She's already taken, and besides, I've seen her and I don't think she eh...'

For a moment, there was this awkward silence as Terry started to stir somewhat nervously in his coffee again, while I could see in his eyes that he was hesitating whether he should say it or not. So I broke the silence. 'She what?'

'That... She could ever fall in love with you. She knows Fabian for like, years now. You gotta move on, Nikki. This is getting ridiculous. And you know it.'

I didn't know what I had to say to that. He's right, and I know it all too well, but somewhere deep down inside of me, I always hoped that she had feelings for me. Feelings that were lying dormant, waiting to be sparked by something and that one day, Meagan realizes she's in love with me as well. But up to this day, she never had... 'Come on, if you think logically about this, you know it's ridiculous, Nic...' All I could do was to pout. It felt as if he just insulted me and Meagan even though I knew he wasn't intending to. Judging by the look on his face, I think he realized he just said something that burst my bubble. He puts an arm around my shoulder, and looked at me with a smile. 'Dude, I told you, I'm gonna help you.'

'Uh-huh...'

'No really, Nic, I told you I would and... Well...'

Then there was this pause again... He certainly sparked my curiosity when he suddenly stopped talking. He takes another sip from his coffee. 'What...?' I asked quietly. 'I know a girl who might like you and I think you'll like her too. And maybe.... She wants... You know... I can try to hook you up with her if you wan-'

'Look, Terry, I really appreciate you want to help me out but... It's not what I want... So... Thanks. But no thanks. Meagan is-'

He puts his coffee down and interrupted me before I could finish my sentence. 'Yeah but, Nic... Meagan isn't gonna fall for you. You gotta move on. At this rate, you'll never gonna be happy with someone.'

'Are you happy with what you're doing right now, Terry...? Fucking girls around and knowing you can't be satisfied with just one relationship that lasts longer then 2 weeks...?'

'I might change when I'm older. But I just wanna do the things I like right now, because I know that's not gonna happen when I'm older. And I think you should do the same.'

I sighed reluctantly because I knew he was telling the truth. I was too focused on Meagan, hoping that she'll be with me one day in the way I wanted her to be. Still... I was too stubborn to let that idea go, being oblivious to realizing the truth. 'Just drop it already.' I said with a rather moody tone. Terry looked surprised at me... I didn't mean to sound so grumpy to him. 'Think about what I said...' followed by an awkward moment of silence...

'We're late for class...'

While I was alone in bed that night, my mind wandered off. I started to think about what Terry said. The more I thought about it, the more appealing the idea became. I came up with all sorts of possible scenarios that could possibly happen if he hooked me up with this girl. What it must feel like... How she must taste like... Being passionate and intimate with her... How would it feel to make someone want you? Words got replaced with images in my head as I closed my eyes... My imagination is better than anything someone can offer... It makes me feel the things I want to feel. Being alone means I don't have to worry about someone bursting my bubbles... I can go as fast or slow as I want...

While I was in bed that night, I imagined a feline rubbing between my legs and pulling down my panties as she kissed me. Felines are sexy... Hihi... The oh so familiar aroused feeling came back in my stomach so I started out on my belly. Gently scratching it, feeling the soft fur on my stomach, teasing myself in circular motions... The feeling only got more intense the longer I rubbed my belly. Then moved one hand up to my breast.... A finger circled around my nipple until it got fully erect and I gently twisted it. My other hand went under my top and gently squeezed my other breast. A soft gasp couldn't be held back. I tried to breathe slowly and relax as much as possible and let all the feelings come over me. My hands knew where to go. It's like they had a life of their own. One hand was still rubbing my nipple as the other one went down, slowly rubbing over my panties. It didn't take long before it got wet. I rubbed it for a while until my panties got soaked. Gasps and squeaks came out of my throat, trying to keep my pleasures as quietly as possible. At some point, I got rid of my panties and forced my legs apart, as my hand got reunited with my vagina. And I felt how wet and warm it was. Than the first finger got gently pushed in as my thumb rubbed over my clitoris. The tensions and pleasurable feelings only build up from that point on. Another finger joined, trying to get as deep as possible. I felt how my whole body was starting to get shaky and I rolled around on my bed, trying to seize control over it except my body wasn't listening to my mind. The thought of reaching an intense orgasm was enough to make my fingers work more fanatically. The short gasps and squeaks slowly turned into soft moans. I got down on my knees, and placed my head on the pillow. I imagined that Meagan was watching me and could join me any moment. Imagining how she must sound like when she was having sex with Fabian in her bedroom. Imagining her moans only made it better. Images of her face... Fantasizing what it looks like when she's naked. Fantasizing about her pussy and how she must taste like... Imagining Meagan spreading her pussy right in front of my face... Imagine how her face looks like when she had an intense orgasm... Fingering myself with her in mind never felt so good...

It didn't take long after that. I could barely keep my fingers in me as my muscles started to tighten. One last imaginable moan of her... Then it happened. My fingers were violently pushed out of my vagina, as the feelings exploded all over my body. I let out a very loud groan in my pillow, trying to muffle it as much as possible as I felt my own fluids were dripping down on my bed-sheet... I let myself down on my stomach as I felt my own breathing in my pillow and gasped for air. Closing my eyes and imagining Meagan was kissing my neck and cuddling me, reassuring me that everything was alright... Then I felt myself drifting away in the most relaxing sleep I've ever had...

Moments like these were the ones I craved for the most. But every time after I was done, I wished I had someone to share it with. To make someone feel the same things I felt. It's something I want for so many years, but it never got realized. It's because I was too insecure about myself to express my feelings and emotions to someone I was in love with. Even something simple like a hug was difficult. And I didn't know why. Having passionate sex with someone I truly loved was the only thing I desired the most. But how...? How are you going to express your feelings towards someone of the same sex, who probably doesn't even like you the way you like them...? It was just so difficult for me. I just wished someone could help me to give me a nudge in the right direction and to- ...Wait....Then I thought of Terry. I was the only one he's ever been really honest to, and I don't know why. He treats me like a close friend, much like his own friends. Maybe he sees me as another guy. Terry is loyal as a friend. He was someone who would never let you down. But the reason why he treated me like that was something I never know. Like I said before, maybe it's because he knows I'm a lesbian and I'm the only girl he knows who shared the same interests. Checking out girls together, talking about cars and everything. And every time he had a new girl, she was always pretty. I was kind of jealous of him, of how easy it was for him to get laid. But when he suggested hooking me up with this bi-girl... I wasn't so sure about it. But I was getting desperate. I needed to. And at some point, I wanted to...