Wardogs Chapter 3

Story by Wardogs on SoFurry

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#3 of Fenris' Story

wardogs

Fenris has an out of body experience and has to confront some of what his beloved wardog program has done to him, as well as offering another look into just what it does to the operators.


I walked beside Packmaster towards the workshop, tail tucked near my legs and head down a little. I wasn't sure if I should ask or not, though Packmaster caught onto my body language and petted my head to relax me a little.

"What's wrong, boy?"

I considered. "Have I done something wrong, Packmaster?"

She shook her head. "What? Oh no, no no, sorry I should have explained more. We're just going to be doing a little upgrade on your armor, test out some hardware. You're not being punished."

I sighed, relaxing after that. I'd been afraid Packmaster was taking me to be punished, when she'd pulled me alone out of the den. The building she let me into had a fairly well stocked looking tech bay. I resisted the urge to go around and start sniffing the components when Packmaster pointed to the techie.

"Fenris, this is Caleb, he's going to be taking care of you."

'Caleb' was a late twenties man in fatigues who gave me a friendly smile. I barked in greeting.

"Hey there big guy. Now all I'm going to be doing is replacing some hardware in your targeting computer, should help it run a little bit faster and let you track more targets, if it's working properly, you'll have to test it a bit. It's a simple enough installation but considering how deeply buried the computer is in the suits workings, I'm going to have to have you get out of your suit."

I froze for a long moment, looking up to Packmaster with a nervous whine. She gave me an understanding smile and petted my ears, scratching behind one in the way she knew I liked. "It's okay, it's only for a little while, promise. Can you get out, please?"

I nodded, giving her hand a little lick before getting up and going over to the harness that would help the humies work on my battle armor, whining and flinching a little when they hooked up some cables to suspend it. When I was told they were ready, I took a deep breath and gave the mental command.

One by one, my senses shut down, leaving me hanging in darkness. I wondered if this is what being dead feels like, a void without substance or sense. Then with a hiss and pop, the armored shell began to open and unfold. Profound vertigo washed over me as skin I'd almost forgot I had suddenly felt the insulating, cushioning gel layer pull off of it, being hit by air for the first time in months.

Try to imagine someone casually unzipping your chest and suddenly blowing hot air onto your lungs and heart, that's what I felt like right now, my vital organs being pulled from their protective body in a process that was no less disturbing for being painless. I flopped about like a fish out of water, feeling out the shape of my own natural body once again. Everything was still dark, why was it dark?

I felt fingers on my face, growling in response, even though the noise was wrong it felt good. "Easy, easy." A familiar voice said, pulling the mask off. Oh right... those things. I'd forgotten I was wearing those inside the armor. The armor's senses were tied directly into my neural jack on the back of my neck, but there was also a mask and contact lenses directly accessing my eyes, which now watered painfully as I looked around. Blinking, I must remember to let my eyes blink, they're made of flesh not glass and metal.

Packmaster and the techie were standing over me, Packmaster wearing a worried expression as she helped me out of the armored shell, letting me lean on her as I took unsteady steps out onto the concrete floor, uncomfortably hard beneath soft feet. "You're good, you're good." She kept telling me, and I nodded, looking around. Everything was different, from a different perspective, less sharp and without the augmented reality overlays I'd gotten used to.

"I'm fine." I said quietly, reaching up to rub my throat, it was going to get sore if I talked to much, I remembered. It was coming back to me, bit by bit, all the innate memory and understanding the suit kept suppressed, without its influence it was all flowing back. It was always like this after getting out, especially on short notice.

"You're going to have to put this on." Packmaster said, offering me a set of fatigues.

"Yes... of course Packmaster." My hands fumbled with the clothes, remembering one piece at a time how they went on. Careful, don't catch your dick in the zipper, it just hangs out all the time now, I already missed having a sheath.

Lacing up the boots took a little while, but Packmaster kept the techie from helping me, knowing I wanted to do it myself. Eventually I got it right, fumbling with my fingers a bit before standing back up. It was coming back to me, it always did, the things the armor keeps suppressed waking up and being remembered. Body language, behavior, thought. It was all going to give me a headache.

"How do you feel?" She asked, looking over my clothed self with approval, seeing everything was in order.

"Smaller." I eventually settled on.

She nodded, giving my shoulder an encouraging squeeze. "It's just for a little while, you'll be back to your old self by tomorrow." She assured me.

I nodded, looking over to my Wardog body, and she let go of my shoulder. Caleb was already elbow deep in the mechanical guts, starting to deconstruct the targeting computer as I walked around the quiet machine, gently touching the unmoving ears, the camera eyes closed under their protective lids. Then I turned back to Packmaster, standing at attention. "What are your orders?"

She set me at ease. "No orders, you'll be back in your armor tomorrow, just try to relax today. I know it's hard to readjust and it'll be over soon."

I nodded. "Okay. I can do that. Um. Yes mam." I said, remembering humie protocol from a long ago bootcamp, standing stiffly.

Packmaster... what was her name? Sighed, putting her fingers under my chin, lifting it slightly, I whined. "Fenris." She said, deliberately using my Warhound name. "If it makes you more comfortable, act like a Warhound around me. I actually prefer it."

I whined for a moment longer, instincts warring, before I gave up trying to figure out which was correct and just went with what felt natural, licking her hand again. "Yes... Packmaster."

After that I went blinking out into the sun, not sure what to do with myself. Packmaster suggested I go to the little Rec building and just kill time, so I decided on that eventually. On my way I passed by our den. It didn't seem as inviting as it usually did, and after a little confusion I realized why. The smell was gone, my sense of smell much more dull now, I couldn't smell my packmates inside, or the claims we'd marked when we pissed on the walls.

I turned away, heading towards the Rec building, a one floor hut with cinderblock walls containing whatever bought or donated entertainment the base had been able to scrape together. Ping pong tables, an old TV hooked up to a DVD player, some bookshelves in the corner.

I went over and looked at the books for a while, grabbing one half at random. I liked to read, I remember, I hadn't read a book since I had put the armor on. I guess I forgot about that interest, not like the metal claws were good for holding a book even when they were in hand-mode rather than paws.

I sat down and started reading, some mystery story set a hundred years ago at least. It wasn't really my thing but it felt good to read again, and I started to lose track of time. Some other people off duty came in and did things from time to time, playing ping pong or putting something on the TV, but I guess I had a strong enough 'I want to be alone' field up that they didn't come bother me.

Eventually though I started to get hungry, putting the book down. I blinked, we had a box of preserved food in the den, we just ate whenever we got hungry. I didn't want to go in there, not like this. I... mess hall, right, I had to go to the mess hall.

Leaving the book on the couch I got up and walked out, heading to the mess. Nobody was in there right now except the cooks, so I walked up to the counter. There wasn't any food there, just empty bins. I could smell food cooking though.

"You're early." A man in an apron said as he carried a basket of ingredients around.

"I'm hungry." I said simply.

"Lunch is in an hour." He said, sounding tired.

"But... I'm hungry. Now." I protested.

The cook gave me a frustrated look. "Lunch is in an hour, come back then. I don't give out anything early."

I whined, crossing my arms. Didn't he understand how much of a torment it was to smell food and just not be able to have any?

He frowned, seeing my body language. "What are you, five? Throwing a tantrum, look what is your prob..." He trailed off as he saw the unit patch on my shoulder. A grey wolf's head illuminted on one side, the shadowed side replaced by an angular head of steel and rivets. The words "Cry Havoc" written underneath. "You're... a wardog." He said, blinking like he wasn't sure I was supposed to be there.

"Yes." I said flatly. "Sorry... been in the armor for the last eight months. Forgot how I was supposed to act. Look, I'm hungry, can I please have something to eat? I'm not used to waiting."

"Uh... sure yeah. Just don't let anyone else see you eat it or they'll wonder why they aren't getting stuff early." He came back a minute later with some sausages on a plate. "I'll have more ready in an hour, just hold you over okay?"

I thanked him, taking the plate and almost burying my face in it before I saw the fork he was holding out. I sighed, taking it and eating the sausages right where I stood. They were cheap and greasy but also warm and at least partially composed of actual meat, so I didn't mind too much.

I finished the food and returned the plate soon enough, going to sit at one of the tables and wait for the actual meal to be served, though I quickly got bored and started pacing around, looking out the various windows and generally being restless. Eventually people started to trickle in and the food was served, me getting in at the front of the line and then taking my tray to the far corner, sitting alone as I ate and watched the mess fill up. Humie watching was something of a passtime among th pack, and even in this form I still felt like I was an outsider here. I munched on my food at a slower pace and watched the base personnel come in and interact with each other.

Eventually, something else came through the door as well and my eyes went down to my tray again. Buck had been coming in here a lot since we'd been allowed to wander, and here he was again. He said he did it to get people used to seeing us around, so they wouldn't be so on edge around us, though we also knew some of the soldiers fed him while he was here.

He went from table to table, seemingly at random but I could read his body language, he was judging people's reactions to him and trying to put on a good show, playing friendly with those who seemed receptive and not getting too close to those who were on edge, letting himself be seen in as nonthreatening away as possible. I couldn't hear what the humies were talking about but I could see some good reactions, and a lot of nervous or indifferent ones. It was hard to know there was a man in the suit who was walking around and acting like a dog.

Not that Buck was doing anything to remind them of that now, going up begging at tables with nothing but body language and canine whines, never once using human speech, seeming to have become at least accepted here. Pleased with his behavior I went back to my food, thinking about my own behavior and what I wanted to do when I got back in my armor.

I jumped when there was a quiet 'woof' next to me, Buck having come over to see who was keeping himself in the corner. I sat up stiffly in my chair, looking down at him. His face was familiar of course, I saw it every day, but it didn't feel quite as alive or appealing as it usually did. Was it the lack of smell perhaps? Unable to judge his mood by scent, it could seem off. Or was that another aspect of the mental conditioning the suits put us through, making each other more physically appealing so we'd be more comfortable and identify with each other better?

Buck sniffed at me, and cocked his head, making a curious whine. "Hey... Hey Buck." I said, fidgeting uncomfortably. "It's me..."

Buck looked confused, giving a long whine. I realized he was trying to talk to me. "Hey... I can't understand you, english please."

"Sorry... forgot." He mumbled in english, fidgeting, looking back up at me. "What happened man? Are you... you're still with us right?"

I nodded. "Packmaster didn't say? They're just working on my armor, I'll be one of you again tomorrow she said."

Buck nodded, looking over me again. When we were all in armor, it was fine. When we were all out of armor, it was fine. But like this, it felt wrong, clashing instincts, a feeling of disconnection with those closest to me.

"The others were wondering where you were."

"Can you tell them I'll be okay?" I asked, finishing my food.

Buck pressed a little closer. "You should tell them yourself."

I looked away. "I don't want them to see me like this. I'll come back tomorrow when I'm pack again."

Buck snorted, leaning up to nuzzle my chest, making me gasp. "You -are- pack, Fenris. Even if you're squishy and smell different. Come back with me. Please." He said, leaning up to give my neck a lick.

I smiled, letting out a shaky breath and reached up to pet his head, which he lay in my lap, sitting next to me. "Alright... alright Buck, if you think it's best."

"Doctors orders." He said, tilting his head a little and letting out a modulated groan. "Ooh... in a bit though... that feels really nice..."

We stayed there quietly for a while longer, me just petting his head as he lay there for me, getting more comfortable together until everyone started filing out of the mess. Buck looked up to me, crooning and I nodded. "Alright, let's go."

He yipped, getting up and nudging me along, making sure I didn't stray as he led me towards the barracks, the others presumably waiting. I paused for a moment at the door, the building seeming so less inviting when I was unable to smell the familiar comforting scents, as Buck opened the door and went in.

Was it always this dark? I almost reached for a light switch but resisted, stepping inside and closing the door behind me. My eyes took a moment to adjust, dark shapes moving in the shadows as they got up, slinking out of corners and through the illuminated patches coming from the windows.

Yips, growls and electronic warbles greeted me as five pairs of shining eyes looked up at me, I felt like a deer in their sights, waiting for them to pounce. Buck gave me an encouraging nod, and I shook the instincts off, no wonder the others felt so nervous so often around us.

"Hey..." I said quietly, walking in a little, pausing to think about how best to handle this. I reached to my fatigues, pulling the shirt off before kicking off my boots, stripping naked and leaving the clothes in a pile by the door. I got down on all fours and crawled to the middle of the room, the others making way, before I rolled over onto my back, holding my hands up by my chest. It was a canine position of submission, surrender.

The pack stepped closer, sniffing over my human body, noses bumping my skin, before they began to nuzzle and lick me all over without hesitation or shame. Buck nuzzled my neck. "Told you. You are pack. Always. Silly wolf." He said, giving my cheek a big lick as I lay there smiling.

I lay there for some time as the pack licked, nuzzled and pressed against me, offering quiet words of acceptance and encouragement. It took some time to get used to, but in the end they seemed fine with this form and soon we were mostly back to our old antics. Though they were careful not to jump on me or roughouse, knowing they'd probably break a few bones if they trued to wrestle like before, though Bandit did appreciate me throwing an old hubcap he's found as a frisbee.

When we were hungry, we dug food out of the storage bin in the corner, I grabbed some smoked meat and energy bars for myself, taking my share to my corner like normal before joining back up with the others, Duke and Titan getting into a little tussle over something, which ended when Titan used his greater size to pin Duke to the ground and sit on him, the rest of us having a good laugh at the wriggling Duke's displeasure.

The door opened, everyone coming forward as Packmaster came back. "Ah, there you are Fenris." She said, looking bemused as I crawled over, a little slower than the others, but she let me lick her hand and petted my head like she used to, even though she ruffled her fingers through hair rather than petting floppy ears. "You're a little smaller than usual... but you seem about the same." She said, seeming rather amused at the way I was acting.

"I was wondering how you might handle it, trying to ignore the change?" She asked, sounding genuinely curious.

I thought about it for a minute. "Well... 's only for one day. Didn't want to change everything up... missed being with the pack." She nodded, patting my head. "Next time you're out of armor, you should be all together going on leave, I'll try to arrange something. You getting along okay?"

Duke bumped his hip against mine, and I chuckled, almost able to feel a phantom tail wagging. "Getting along good, yes."

She nodded. "Alright, just wanted to check on my boys. Get some sleep and I'll have you back to your old self in the morning.

I looked up, smiling up at her from where I crouched. "Thank you, Packmaster." I said in as heartfelt a way as I could, and she ruffled my hair again before letting me lick her hand.

"You're welcome, good boy." She said, before heading out.

I was a little giddy after that, playing catch with the others for a bit before we wound down to sleep. I tried sleeping on my usual mattress, but couldn't get it to work right. I tossed and turned for an hour, unable to get quite situated, getting up and turning a circle before laying down, only to have joints tweaked at odd angles and unfamiliar bones poking and crushed.

I heard a low croon from across the room, Titan looking at me with his calm, steady gaze. He shifted his position, showing his belly, and I took the hint, crawling over to lay against him as he wrapped his big body around me. Wardogs have a lot of hard plates on them, sure, but the synthetic flesh between, and on the belly, is pretty soft, and quite warm. I lay my head against him, hearing the click and whirr of his mechanical body, and soon drifted off to sleep.

I woke to Titan's broad tongue licking over my face, getting up and stretching before crouching down with the others to get breakfast, munching on whatever looked appealing. Soon Packmaster came back and after our usual greeting, she ordered me to get my fatigues on, going over to where I'd dropped them last night.

"Fine as you are, I don't think the others would approve you walking around buck naked. At least when you walk on two legs."

I nodded wordlessly, going to dress, following her out as she led me, holding onto my sleeve like a leash and taking me back to the tech bay, my body waiting. As soon as she released me I pulled the fatigues off and kicked the boots away, leaving them where they fell. The techie from before was there, raising a surprised brow.

"He's eager to be himself again." Packmaster said.

He nodded. "Ah, right. I've worked with Wardogs before." He must understand at least some of the conditioning then, good. "Right here, it's ready for you."

I nodded, quickly walking over, the entry hatch awaiting me. Packmaster watched as Caleb helped me climb into the mechanical shell, sighing in relief as I lay down in the familiar cushioning gel layer.

"Okay." He said, fixing on the facemask, drowning me in a familiar darkness. "Bringing basic systems online... now."

With a hum, the Wardog's onboard powerplant kicked from onto idle, the gel layer tensing before relaxing as it felt the charge go through it, conforming to my body as I settled into it, laying in the familiar grooves.

"Closing hatch." The geek said, and with a hiss the shell closed around me, gel pressing against my back, before my ears popped with the seal was made. The gel comformed perfectly to every inch of my human body, mask providing air. I couldn't move, couldn't see, couldn't hear, complete sensory depravation.

I felt a faint panic rising in me, simple instinctual response to being trapped alone, it was like I was buried alive in here! What if something went wrong? What if that damn tech's upgrades fucked up my suits internals, was the air purifier working? What if I had to get out of...

A graphic popped up in front of my eyes as the computer came online. [Main computer online. Neural jack interface complete. Connection stable. All systems nominal.]

I was fine. Silly of me to worry really, the suit was familiar, safe. It would serve me again, and I would be like I used to be, I'd be happy again, comfortable in my familiar body.

The world around me faded in as my eyes came back online, AR overlays popping up one by one, and I took a deep breath. The tech geek was working on unhooking me from the support frame, and closing a few hatches on my body, but I didn't care. Packmaster stood in front of me, looking down with a smile.

I whined happily, shaking my head and looking up at her, panting barking happily when she started petting me again. "Welcome back, my good boy." She said, scratching behind my ear in that glorious place that made me melt inside.

It was good to be myself again.