The Grand Tour, Part 1
#1 of The Grand Tour
The city of Cavulton was once the capital of an expansionist empire. Its founders had declared themselves to belong to the best kinds of people in the world, with all other kinds being, in comparison, less better. Really, the conquering of others was really just for their own good. They'd understand, if only they tried.
Then, the military stretched itself too thin, a new philosophy that equated prejudice with hypocrisy began to spread, and the autocracy was forcibly collapsed. Formerly conquered people were invited to join the political process, and institutions of colonial tyranny were dismantled or altered to get the colonial hypocrisy out of it.
Just inside the main entrance of the head office of one of the nation's more ancient institutions, the three Torturers who oversaw it - and their pets - waited in frustration.
The tall, strong Mare, her short fur dark gray, sat on the desk while her blond white Lapine braided her deep crimson hair; the short, brown Stoat lounged in the chair behind the desk, running fingers through the black hair of the stocky male chestnut-coloured Equine who had pledged his service; the lean, black Rat paced furiously, trying to calm himself, while his yellowish-brown Lioness leaned against the wall, watching him and the movements of his tail. All of them had forgone their usual garments in favour of dark-coloured business wear. The gas lamps made them shine in red, purple, or black.
"He's late."
"Of course he is," the Stoat replied to the Rat. "We're beneath contempt, and he wants us to know it."
"You've heard how that Dog speaks," the Mare added, her eyes still closed. "He wants it all eradicated as soon as he possibly can. Something just got in his way."
The Horse on the floor fidgeted. "What'll happen if the other Councillors listen to him? Is he going to have us all exiled? Make us say he was right?"
The Lioness laughed so hard that she snorted. "He doesn't care what would happen to us. All he wants is to get rid of anything he doesn't own. All his 'Crusade against respected violence' does is make him look like he cares."
"Relax, Dunstan, they won't listen to him," the Rabbit finished braiding and smiled. "They sent him here so we could shut him up."
"They sent him here so that he can write a formal list of grievances," her Mistress corrected her. "He still wants us to stand in front of the Council and defend ourselves against his presumptions. We will need to cater to them until he'll let us relieve him of them."
They discussed the matter until the office door opened without even a single knock. A portly Canine of long, tawny fur strode in, sporting an expensive suit of light blue.
"Pleased to meet you, let's begin, I had an important matter come up," he said quickly, clutching at his clipboard. "If it matters, I'd much rather catalogue your methods than hear people beg and plead."
"Councillor Langston, we are honoured to have you deign to be among us." She got up off the desk and extended an unanswered hand to him. "If it matters to you, we would rather put you at ease, make you comfortable. Is there anything we can procure for you?"
The Councillor stared uncomfortably for a moment to recompose himself. "Gertrude Helmsdotter. A refugee from those backward monarchies up north. I'd heard you went here willingly. Is that true?"
"There is, Councillor, context you may not have heard. I grew up being told I would become a Dark Queen, that I would tempt and capture unsuspecting young males." Her arms folded, but her gaze remained steady. "That one would kill me. So I fled. I came here, learned that everyone has baser instincts of their own; needs and desires that need sating. I went here willingly, where I was assured no one would pick self-righteous fights with me. I chose the official title Gallowtail, Lady of the Collar, and you must know that, Councillor, as well."
"I know, I just... can't bring myself to say it." Langston turned to the Stoat. "Adrian Olsherre. Born to migrant parents." He inhaled sharply. "Intersex. It was a troublesome adolescence that made you want to intimidate everyone, yes?"
"Oh no, you've spoken my real name and found out I was picked on at school. Now I can't frighten you, so I'll just pack up my things and leave. Also, if 'Ireline, Keeper of Woe' is too much for you, how about 'they'? But go on, you're only two-thirds of the way through disrespecting us."
Councillor Langston shrugged, replied, "Well, I am afraid of none of you," and turned to the fuming Rat. "I know your official title," he didn't bother to hide his condescending tone, "But will you keep your rage in check if I use your real name? Norbert Sutters?"
"I always keep it in check," he spat back. "You walk in. Late. And disrespect us." The Councillor tried to reply, but was interrupted. "I am Nightshade. Lord of Pain. Especially in here. I had to learn calm. I learned it here. How did you get your seat!"
"...Does he always talk like that?"
"You may address me directly, Councillor," Nightshade replied with precise care, "and no, I do not always 'talk like that.' If you want me to speak in a way that suits you, but refuse to respect our wishes, that would make you, Councillor, a hypocrite."
Ireline chuckled. "Didn't your research uncover his affect? Or do you really think you can provoke us, US, into losing our tempers?"
"He has a point," Nightshade's Lioness added. "How did you get your position? Did you buy it, with all the leverage from all those factories your inheritance built? Do you fear everything you don't understand? Do you ignore every word of disagreement? Please, tell me."
"Mr. Sutters, do you let your, your _pet_speak so-
"Em. What did I say?"
"You told me, my Lord, that the only people unworthy of respect are the willfully disrespectful. You have no power here yet," she sneered at the Dog, "and I promise, you never will."
"Councillor," Gallowtail added, "all posturing aside, we hoped to inform you before you made your decision. We planned nothing more than to show you our methods, our equipment, and our protocols. We will hide nothing from you, so that your report will ring true. We are foremost accountable to the people we serve and the Council which organizes national matters. If you find any trace of lingering prejudice, we will happily scour it away, with assurance from outside opinions of your choice. Is this fair?"
He thought for a moment. "It is. You'll accompany me, since you have the best manners of the bunch."
The Lapine woman stuck her tongue out at him when he wasn't looking.
"You compliment me, Councillor, but the three of us rule together, I would say. To understand the full context, you may have to tolerate all of us, and our pets, for a time."
"Nothing I didn't expect," Langston smiled. "Besides, once we're finished, I'm sure you'll be happy finding new professions. I could even suggest some!"
"Getting ahead of ourselves, Councillor?" Ireline stood, walking past the Dog while their Horse got the door. "Follow me, if you aren't afraid of getting your mind changed."
He looked at Gallowtail, who only gave the Councillor an "After You" gesture and a shrug.
"You made one already." Nightshade grumbled as they all filed out of the office. "Tour guides."