Ander - Part 6: Subchapter 94
94
Everything was black and cold and heavy. She did not know where she was or how she came here, only that it wasn't wrong for her to be here. It was right. It was what she deserved.
Cold-hearted bitch!
She used to have sunshine. She remembered it was always bright and warm and happy and smiling, even when it rained. But she broke it apart and threw it away, a precious miracle, and now there was only the deep, dark cold.
Am I dead?
This thought did not scare her. She was quite familiar with it. She had spent so many nights thinking about it, lying in her tent -
GET OUT!!
- imagining what it would be like to take a knife, slit herself from wrist to elbow, and wait for the morning sunshine to come.
No sunshine anymore. If this place was hell, it was perfect for her. A deep, dark place with no warmth whatsoever. She was all alone, and that was just the way it should be.
It was what she deserved.
Only...
What was this thing, holding her so tightly, gripping her with such desperate strength? It wasn't cold like everything else. It was warm.
Aisa tried to open her eyes -
Aisa my name is Aisa
- but there was something heavy pressing against them, cold and jagged. She forced them open anyway, but there was no light at all. It was just a wall of blackness, stinging her eyes. She opened her mouth to scream, but now the cold was inside of her, choking her, filling her nose and throat. She tried to reach up and claw at her burning face, but she couldn't move.
There were sounds; dull, scratchy sounds all around her, muffled and damp. Maybe it was just her own fruitless attempts to break free, but she could have sworn there were voices in there, just beyond her reach.
Her lungs burned in her chest. She needed air, but she couldn't get past the dark! It was melting inside her mouth, trickling down her throat. It was the coldest thing she had ever tasted. She could feel it snaking its way into her body, biting her from the inside, injecting its icy venom into her veins.
I'm sorry, Sunshine... I'm so... so sorry...
Something was happening to the darkness. It didn't seem as deep as before. There were cracks, here and there, arching lines of colour inside the black, like the lining of storm clouds, only orange instead of silver, shifting back and forth. The voices were clearer now. She could make out some of the words.
"Come on! We -"
That voice sounded familiar, but...
"Faster!"
Hezzi? No, that couldn't be him. There was no way he'd be down in hell. Unlike her, he had seen the sunshine for what it really was. Unlike her, he was able to hold it without pain. He was able to embrace it without extinguishing her light.
Wait, her light? Who...?
"Mother! Mother please!"
Renna!
The broken light was coming and going, fading in and out, traveling back and forth through the thinner parts of the darkness like blood through veins, but she couldn't tell if it was the source of the light that was moving, or her own body finally giving up.
She wanted to reach for that light. She wanted to do it so badly, but she was too cold and her arms were too heavy. She could feel the darkness on her lips, dead and numb. She could feel it throbbing in her chest, pulsing in her eyes, pounding in her ears, slowly sapping the life out of her body.
No...
But that other thing, the warm thing... it was down here with her, holding her, protecting her against the cold. What was that? Was it...
Rinno? Is that you...?
The scratching noises were louder now, much louder. She could actually feel them right above her head.
"There! I see something! It's right there!"
"By the Cora there's two of them!"
"Mother!"
And suddenly the darkness was gone, replaced by a light more blinding than the sun itself, a brilliant flame dancing before her eyes.
"Get them out of there, quickly!"
Hands, so many hands, grabbing and pulling, dragging her out of the dark.
"Mother!"
"Stand back, kid!"
"But is she -"
"I said stand back!"
No! Don't make her go away!
GET OUT!!
Don't make my Sunshine go away!
GET OUT!!
No! I won't! I won't ever!
GET OUT!!
I'll never throw her away again!
Aisa gasped for air, immediately coughed up a huge mess of half-melted snow, and gasped even more. The air was freezing, but it was air, and it never tasted as sweet.
"Mother!"
It was a torch, she could see that now. A bright orange flame blazing in the dark, dripping tiny pieces of fire into the snow.
Aisa blinked, the blinding glare faded away, and suddenly her face was there. Her cheeks were covered in frost, with two clean lines of tears running through the middle, but it was her. It was Renna.
It was her sunshine.
"Renna...?" Her throat felt like shredded pieces of kindling, and her voice came out in a raspy croak.
"Mother!" She dropped the torch to the ground and, without any hesitation, without any reservation, she dove into Aisa's arms, crying against her neck.
This child...
Aisa was too weak to sit up. She barely even had enough strength to stay conscious. But somehow, she managed to wrap her arms around her weeping enka and embrace her like she hadn't done since she was just a baby.
"I'm sorry, Renna..." she whispered, unable to hold back her own tears any longer. "I'm so sorry..."
Unable to speak, Renna shook her head vigorously, denying any and all attempts at an apology. Her face was blazing hot, burning like the sun.
"I'm sorry," Aisa said again, gently caressing her daughter's hair. It felt like she simply couldn't say it enough. "I'm so sorry, Renna... I won't hurt you ever again, I promise..."
The wind still howled through the pass and the night was still filled with nothing but shadows and ice, but here, right now, in this moment, Aisa felt none of it. She was holding her daughter, and that was all that mattered. There was no pain anymore, not outside or inside. Only sunshine.
A deep coughing noise caught her attention. Dorin was on his hands and knees, hacking up watery strings of vomit while Hezzi repeatedly slapped him on the back, dislodging clumps of snow from his fur. The last time she saw them together they were tearing each other apart, but now...
What was happening now?
Aisa blinked and looked past her daughter's heaving shoulders. There were torches everywhere, tiny spots of light moving back and forth in the dark. Through her tears, they looked like flickering orange starbursts, and one of them was held firmly in the hands of the Wolves who had saved her baby.
Sorrin had one arm around his mate's shoulders and, unbelievably, his lip was all aquiver. This mountain of a Wolf who almost never showed any emotion whatsoever (save for the occasional surly grunt) was on the verge of tears.
But if he was right on the edge, then Mellah had sailed right past it. She had one hand curled beneath her chin, and the torchlight threw her face into a stark contrast of light and shadow, making her tears shine like torches themselves, but the one thing that stood out the most was her smile. She was happy simply knowing that Renna was happy, and that, if nothing else, made her a true mother.
Oh, Mellah, Aisa thought, holding her daughter tight, feeling her warmth against her cheek. You deserve to be this child's mother so much more than I do.
Dorin came crawling through the snow on all fours, thick plumes of vapour pouring from his mouth with every gasp and pant. "Aisa," he said. "Are you all right? Are you hurt?"
It was a bit disconcerting, actually, to have the leader of the warriors fret over her so. "I... I think so..." Her voice was barely more than a whisper.
"Are you sure?" He touched her shoulder, and that's when she knew.
"I thought I was dead, but you kept me warm. You wouldn't let me give up, even at the end."
He put on an awkward smile. "That's kind of what we do for each other these days, isn't it?"
She smiled back. Looking into his eyes, so concerned, she simply couldn't stop herself.
"Hey! We got another one over here!"
"Here, too!"
She didn't recognise any of those voices, but the moment she noticed them, she suddenly realised they weren't the only ones. The entire pass was filled with voices.
"Faster, come on! We're running out of time!"
"There's some more over here!"
"Hey, Jack! Bring the spade, hurry!"
"Here's another one!"
"By the gods it's a big'un!"
"They're all big'uns, dumbass!"
As her head cleared, Aisa began to realize that this whole situation was impossible. The last thing she remembered was a wave of Wolves, and then a wave of snow. So how could she be alive and breathing right now? How could Dorin? What were Mellah, Sorrin, Renna and Hezzi doing down here? Shouldn't they be up on the wall, where it was safe?
"Damn, this one's in bad shape. Come on, we need to get him out of the wind!"
"Gods almighty he's heavy!"
"Lift with your legs!"
And what were those voices!?
Aisa tried to lift herself up on her elbows, but her lack of strength was alarming. It was as if she didn't even have any arms, and she fell right back into the snow.
"Careful, Aisa." Dorin slipped his arm beneath her shoulders. "I got you."
Renna wiped away her tears, and together they helped her into a sitting position, but as she looked around at the aftermath of the 'war', she couldn't help but wonder if all that time beneath the snow had done something to her head, because she simply couldn't be seeing what she thought she was seeing.
There were Foxes everywhere, scurrying about like a swarm of ants over a puddle of honey. She watched in amazement as one of them called to his comrades, "I got a hand! I got a hand over here!" and they all came rushing in, working together to dig a Wolf out of the snow.
They want to make sure we're dead,_Aisa thought in horror. _It's the safest, most logical course of action. They wait to see if any of us make it back up, and then they rush in to put a spear between our eyes.
The Foxes shifted, and through a gap in their bodies she was able to make out the face of the Wolf in their hands. It was Denko, and he was still alive.
No! Not Denko! She wanted to scream, but she couldn't find her voice. One of the Foxes had a weapon on his hands: a long wooden handle with two metallic teeth sticking out of the head in opposite directions, long and curved. She could imagine all too well how easily those spikes would penetrate a skull. She even knew what sound it would make: a dull, wet crack, like a gourd split upon a sharp stone, followed by the splash of blood in the snow.
But that's not what happened.
The Fox dropped his weapon, bent down, and helped lift Denko out of the snow, puffing and wheezing. His knees trembled and his face twisted under the strain of all that weight. "Careful!" he grunted. "This guy's leg is all messed up. We have to get him to Bethany right away!"
"Man, Bethany is gonna be piiiiiissed!" one of his friends replied.
Aisa watched, completely frozen (in more ways than one) as they marched off together, each of them supporting one of Denko's limbs.
"W- What...?" She was so floored, she couldn't even finish her sentence.
A different group of Foxes suddenly pulled another familiar face out of the snow. It was Ivio, curled up so tightly his tail was actually touching his nose. Unlike Denko, he was still fully conscious and shivering up a storm.
One of the Foxes bent down and touched his shoulder. "Hey buddy, are you okay?"
'Are you okay?' Did that Fox just...?
Ivio clutched his knees to his chest and curled into an even smaller ball, staring up at the Fox with wide, frightened eyes. He was shaking so badly that even the mist from his nose was coming out in tiny little puffs.
"You cold?" And then, as if everything up to this point hadn't been crazy enough, the Fox actually removed a piece of his garb and draped it over Ivio's shoulders. "Better?"
Ivio was even more flabbergasted than Aisa, which was saying a lot. He lifted one of the sleeves to his nose, gave it a little sniff, and then looked up at the Fox. "W- W- Wh- Wh- W- Wh-"
"Do you think you can stand?" Amazingly, the Fox then took Ivio by the hand, dragged him to his feet, and pulled his arm over his shoulders. It was, quite possibly, the most bizarre thing Aisa had ever witnessed. This tiny little Fox trying his very best to support a Wolf who, by comparison, was enormous.
"Come on, buddy!" The Fox said, sounding remarkably cheerful despite the strain showing on his face. "We'll get you to a fire, warm you up right quick, okay?"
And so they walked off together, with Ivio now wearing a piece of Fox clothing that barely even reached the small of his back, still trying in vain to stutter out a question that simply refused to leave his numb lips.
"Why?" Aisa whispered, finishing the word Ivio was trying so hard to say.
Renna smiled. The fact that she was still capable of doing so, after everything she had been though, was a miracle every bit as astonishing as what was unfolding before Aisa's eyes, and the answer she gave was just like her smile. It was such a simple little thing, but it was also a beautiful thing. "Because it's different here."
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