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On the Inevitability of Furballs

By staff writer (Chuck M)

Khajiits are not cats. We've said it before and we'll say it again, so let's get that clear right up front. While there's plenty of evidence both obvious and less so that they have common attributes, anyone that has associated with one of our fine furry friends knows that the differences far outweigh the similarities. That being said, there are some common issues that can hardly be ignored, furballs being one of them.

Khajiits come in a delightful variety of types and personalities. Some wouldn't dream of licking themselves clean, while others do it naturally as a matter of course. Yet along with that activity comes the inevitable. That fur has to go somewhere and the Khajiit oral structure doesn't allow for easy expulsion of shed fur. So down it goes. Even their lovers can experience this, especially when performing certain oral activities with them. We're not talking about the occasional pubic hair between the teeth either. The short, straight nature of fur tends to not get intercepted like pubic hair.

In the stomach, fur is normally digested as are other non-edible materials that make it that far. However, sometimes it stays in the stomach and builds up, reaching a size large enough to irritate the stomach which causes a natural - if unpleasant - reaction. The furball is expelled the only way available.

Unfortunately there is no known way to prevent this, and it can occur not only in Khajiits, but also in their lovers. If you find yourself bringing up a furball, once you get over the discomfort you can count yourself lucky! Better out than in! The inability to bring up such a furball can cause more serious complications however. In those unfortunate individuals a self-induced upchuck may be advised. Dragon's Breath mead is known to be quite effective in producing the desired effect, especially if consumed in large quantities. It also has a sensitivity neutralizing effect that can allow the natural reaction to occur with minimal discomfort (though others nearby may disagree).

Once expelled, there is no need to store or otherwise save furballs unless some unusual aspect of them indicates a problem. If in doubt, you can bring the remains to your personal physician for analysis. Note though that doing so may call your sanity into question so it is best to know your doctor well before presenting your problem to him or her, especially if you are not yourself a Khajiit. Bedroom practices of the various races range widely and what may be considered an acceptable practice in one area may be far from it in another.

So next time you or your Khajiit lover experience this unpleasant but natural occurance, do not panic. A large glass of water or the aforementioned Dragon's Breath mead should help to calm the throat and restore the 'patient' in minutes. After a such an incident, you may resume your activities with the same vigor as before with no ill effects. (Although a breath freshener is well advised. See Dragon's Breath mead again!)

However, there are specific people who simply find this too distasteful. In those occasions, if you or your Khajiit prefer, the razor remains a viable option. Just remember, the Khajiit has fur all over for a reason, and shaving may have unintended consequences. However, that is between you and your Khajiit to decide. Just be sure your Khajiit mate agrees with this solution. Remember those professional adventurers we have on staff to deal with anyone who might consider shaving his lover while she sleeps. We have zero tolerance for anyone harming female Khajiits in Skyrim, and you will likely be shaved of far more than your hair when they administer their form of justice.

Some Khajiits report increased sexual pleasure after shaving 'down there' while others report the opposite effect. All Khajiit, like the other races in Tamriel, vary widely in this. But a short period of experimentation should do no harm and may lead to increased activity when the fear of fur is removed, so that too might well prove an advantage of the shaved pussy method of resolving this natural issue.

As always, we have professionals standing by to help at Tails of the Khajiit for all female Khajiits between the ages of 18 and 35, including a licensed Khajiit grooming specialist, trained in the delicate art of shaving those sensitive areas. We provide complete anonymity and may offer employment as well to those less inhibited members of the female furry community. Ask for Chuck.