Ander - Epilogue: Subchapter 9
9
Ander was vaguely aware of an awful throbbing in his fingers, but that seemed far away and unimportant. There was something else going on, something so fundamentally wrong it was able to reach him even through the shifting haze of shadows he had fallen into, and that something was_silence_.
He could hear the fire, the low crackle of flames. He could hear his heart frantically thumping away in his chest (each beat accompanied by a corresponding stab of pain in his fingers). He could hear the soft murmur of voices, whispers in the dark, even his own breathing.
But no screams. No Kiana, bellowing her lungs out. No Bethany, screaming at her daughter to stop being such a baby and push. No crying infant, waiting to meet their parents for the first time.
None of that.
Ander's eye flew open and he sat up so fast he nearly tumbled right off the couch and onto the hearth stones. His frenzied mind took those two pieces of information (couch and hearth) and surmised in a split second that he must be in the living room, but what was he doing taking a nap here when he was supposed to be with Kiana!?
He scrambled to his feet and looked around in a blind panic, breathing heavily, the silence wrapping all around him like a shroud, suffocating.
Rufio was still standing by the window, pipe in hand. Danado was milling by the front door, pacing back and forth. Hezzi had clamped down on the back of the couch and looked like he was about ready to jump right out of his skin, something Renna was just barely holding him back from.
"Not yet, Hezzi!"
"But you said once Ander wakes up we can -"
"Not until Bethany-Kai says it's okay!"
Renna and Danado weren't the only new faces. Mellah and Sorrin were here, too, holding hands, smiling at all the commotion, and lastly, by the bedroom door, were Michael and Sarah. Michael had both hands covering his muzzle and was trying very, _very_hard not to laugh.
"Hey, champ," he sniggered. "Had a nice nap?"
Paying her husband no mind, Sarah beamed at Ander from across the room. "Hello, Andrew. You had us all a little worried there for a second."
She said that, but not one of them looked particularly worried. He supposed that was a good thing, but he couldn't shake this unpleasant feeling deep down in the pit of his stomach, like he had swallowed something incredibly heavy, yet also squirmy, like a big ball of caterpillars made out of lead... that were somehow still alive? And moving? Good heavens his head was all over the place...
Ander glanced at the door to the bedroom. It looked even more ominous now than it did before. "How long was I out?"
"Not long, maybe half an hour or so," Rufio said. "No need to feel embarrassed, son. Happens to a lot of first-timers. Or so I hear."
"Why is it so -" He was going to ask why it was so quiet, but in that very moment, a tiny sound emerged from the silence, muffled by the bedroom door. A stuffy little mewl... the first cries of a brand new life, tasting its first breath of air in this crazy, beautiful world.
Did Ander really think it was quiet before? The hush that descended upon them all was like some kind of spell. No one so much as breathed.
Well, except for Rufio, who was still puffing away on his pipe, a knowing grin spreading across his face. "Were you going to ask why it's so lively in there? Mayhap you should go and have a look-see, hmm?"
Ander's mouth went dry and the room seemed to stretch out, somehow, like a gooey string of honey, making the door seem miles and miles away... that plain, pine wood door with the softest cries coming from the other side...
Ander shuffled forward, but kept one hand firmly planted on the couch's armrest. It was the only thing he could think of to keep the room from spinning beneath his legs.
"Wait a minute..." Hezzi said, looking thoughtful. "If Ander got a kid, then that means I'm an uncle now? By the Cora, I feel so ooooold!"
Renna gave him a playful nudge. "Well, you are a greyfur, after all..."
Ander barely heard any of that little exchange, even though it was happening right next to him. All his attention was focused on making it to the door on the other side of the room, which, as it turned out, wasn't nearly as 'vast' as his frazzled mind insisted it was. Just a few steps and he was already passing Sorrin, who gave his signature 'nod and grunt' combination. Mellah, on the other hand, was a bit more open about her feelings, and the moment Ander came within reach, she swept him into a big hug, nearly lifting him right off his feet.
"Oh!" Ander said, a bit surprised by the sudden ferocity of her embrace. He hugged her back, thankful for all she had done, all the love and care she was able to give away so freely, never asking for anything in return.
But the seconds dragged on, and Mellah was still holding on to him. Her embrace was gentle, yet unbreakable. He could feel her hands on his back, the warmth of her breath against his ear...
And the scalding hot tears running down his shoulder.
"Mellah?"
"Treasure them, Ander," she said, finally pulling back. Tears were streaming down her face and around her muzzle, briefly touching the corners of her smile. "They're your family, and family is the most precious thing. They will be with you for the rest of your life, sharing every moment, so make sure those moments are as happy as you can possibly make them. That's going to be your job from now on, okay?"
Ander nodded, biting down hard on his bottom lip to keep from crying himself, but Mellah wasn't done with him just yet.
"To share in each other's joys and halve each other's sorrows. To be there for each other, to help each other, to protect each other... That's what it means to be a family. So you treasure them, Ander, and love them with all your heart... because?"
"Because family is precious..." he finished, feeling the first of his own tears begin to flow down his cheeks.
"That's right."
Mellah stepped back, wiping at her eyes and sniffling back tears, and Sorrin, with all the expertise of a long-time mate, put a burly arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close and letting her rest her head against his chest.
Not to be left out, Renna came up and hugged them both around the middle, fitting in between them like a puzzle piece, finally completing the picture.
Looking at those three; big, burly Sorrin with one bulky arm around his mate's shoulders, Mellah, sniffling and smiling and laughing and crying all at the same time, and little Renna with feathers in her hair, squeezing them both with her face pressed up against the valley between their bodies, each one with a hand resting on top of her head, Ander couldn't help but feel an odd kind of peace settle over his heart.
Family. They came in all shapes and sizes, bound together, not necessarily by blood, but by something more, something that cannot be explained by heredity or the lines drawn on a family tree, and that something was love. Plain and simple.
With love, anyone can be a family.
And family is precious.
Ander took a long, slow breath, preparing himself to face that door again, that door of pine and brass, that door with the quiet, almost indiscernible cries coming from the other side.
But there was one last person keeping the way, one last person who needed to have her say.
Sarah.
"Come here, Andrew," she said, motioning for him to come closer. "And crouch down a little, would you? Or would you have me fetch a step ladder?"
Ander bent forward until they were eye to eye, and Sarah put both hands on his shoulders.
"Andrew, I know you're scared right now," she said, "and you have every right to be. The moment you step through this door will mark the end of everything that came before, and the start of everything coming after. That is indeed a scary thought. But, Andrew, something you need to keep in mind is that, as scary as it is, as daunting as it is, as intimidating and terrifying and nauseating and exhausting and worrying, it is also a hundred times more wonderful, more beautiful, more miraculous than any of the scares that come along with it. Believe me, because I know." She reached up, wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I know."
"Thank you, Mother," Ander said, hugging her back. "Thank you."
"Now what are you waiting for?" She released their embrace and dabbed at her eyes with a brand new handkerchief (this one a pretty pink colour). "Kiana is waiting for you."
Ander nodded, and slowly turned back to face the door. It didn't seem all that big anymore. Just the same as always.
He reached out, grabbed the handle. It was so quiet he could hear his fingers brushing against the brass. He started to turn -
The handle suddenly twisted all on its own and Ander very nearly screamed out loud as it swung open and Bethany appeared in the gap, sweaty and tired, but smiling from ear to ear.
"Oh, Ander, you're awake! Perfect timing!"
"Is she- I mean, did she- Is everything-" Ander had so many questions that he couldn't finish a single one before stammering onto the next. "Is Kiana- Is the baby- Are they-"
"Ander, Ander, Ander," Bethany gave him a little double tap on the shoulder. "Am I really the one you want to be talking to right now?"
"No, but -"
She squeezed through the door, leaving it ajar, but all Ander could see through the gap was Layla, who, unlike her mother, looked like death itself. All her fluff was gone, and her tail was dragging along the floor. Even the tufts of fur on her cheeks seemed limp and lifeless. And yet, the moment she saw Ander peeking in at her, she beamed.
"Ander..." she breathed, squeezing past him. "I think there's someone in there who'd like to say hello."
"Someone...?"
She tipped him a wink and, without saying a word, went straight to Danado and flopped against him like a dead fish. She was so exhausted she could barely keep her eyes open, and yet so deliriously happy she couldn't stop smiling, a condition Danado didn't quite know how to deal with, so he ended up just standing there, awkwardly holding her up and fanning her face with his gloves.
Ander didn't quite know what to make of it either, to be honest.
He swallowed. Reached for the door. But before he could begin to push it the rest of the way open...
"Oh, and Ander?" He looked back, his hand frozen on the knob. Bethany was wearing a rather odd grin, kind of mischievous in a way he had never seen on her before. "Try not to be too surprised, okay?"
Now what on earth was that supposed to mean?
Ander had no idea, but he couldn't stand being away from Kiana for even a second longer. He stuck his head in through the gap, half-expecting another projectile to come flying at his face, but that's not what happened.
Kiana was lying on the bed, halfway propped up against the headboard. Her eyes were closed and her hair was hanging down in sweaty tangles, but her chest was rising up and down in a steady rhythm, and in her hands...
Ander stopped breathing. Even his heart stopped beating, it felt like.
There, cradled in her arms, bathed in the soft light of the candles, was a bundle of blankets with a tiny pair of ears sticking out at the top, moving ever so slightly...