FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Chapter 12: Solace

"Are these your parents?" The coroner stood over the two bodies on the table.

Terrence had to fight back the urge to hurl as he looked at them, "Yes. Can I go now?"

"Yes, I just needed you to confirm." The coroner turned back to his work as Terrence left.

Cassandra hadn't come.

After Terrence had told her what happened Cassandra had run off on a combination of tears and anger. He didn't have the energy to go after her but he still had work to do and this was the sad part of it. He got into what used to be his mother's minivan and looked at the folder on the passenger seat. He'd have to deal with that when he got home. He put a hand to his face and let some tears leak from his eyes, then dried them and started up the vehicle. Time for grief later, he had to make sure nothing fell apart.

OoOoO

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

After hearing the news from her brother, the grief in Confidence Heart had been overwhelmed by a darker emotion. She tore her medal off her neck, charged back into the gym and hurled her medal and shouted at the assembled gymnasts and coaches, the medal landing on the gym floor halfway between her and the group.

The entire gym fell silent and stared at seething fennec fox who had tears running down her face that was contorted in rage and grief.

"I'm sorry, miss Avalon, but what do you-"

Confidence Heart cut off the speaker, "You're stupid fucking wrestling team! I never wanted to join but oh no I'm a tomboy so I had to play a sport or I wasn't a real tomboy! Now my parents are dead because I have to come to this shit-filled fuckfest of a tournament and... and..." Confidence's rage subsided and she started to break down and cry, "They're gone, all because I couldn't quit even though I want too." She felt her legs wobbling, then looked back up at the assembled wrestlers, coaches, judges and audience. Most of the looked horrified, some indignant, and a couple tried to approach her. Confidence Heart grit her teeth and started sucking in air through her teeth.

"I HATE ALL OF YOU!" she turned and ran out of the gym and the school.

Love Heart Bear had been nearly bowled over twice by Confidence Heart as she charged both ways, and he gave chase when she left the school. Sweet Heart Pegasus didn't understand what was going on but she saw Confidence Heart's medal land on the gym floor and flew to retrieve it before going back to her parents.

"Mom, dad, what's going on?" She clutched the medal to her chest as she looked up at Life Heart Unicorn and Sage Heart Bear.

Sage Heart fumbled in his speech as he spoke, "It's... hard to explain but... Sarah and Adrian are gone."

"Gone? Where did they go?" Sweet Heart was being led outside by her parents as she spoke.

"They went away, forever." Life Heart took a deep breath, "I can't really say where they went but they can't come back."

"Why not? Is it too far away?" Sweet Heart looked down at the medal in her hands, "Can't we just go see them?"

"No, we can't... Dead means... it means..." Sage Heart struggled to find the right words and Life Heart wasn't doing much better. "It means the left their bodies behind and went somewhere we can't follow for hopefully a long, long time."

"I don't get it. How did they leave their bodies behind?" Sweet Heart asked.

"It's not something I can really explain, Sweet Heart," Life Heart put a hand on her daughter's shoulder, "I'll do my best tomorrow but let's go home."

"How do we do that?" Sage Heart stopped and stared at the old junker of a car Confidence Heart had driven them in, "I don't know how to drive."

"I guess we'll have to walk then," Life Heart said before they headed for home.

OoOoO

Confidence Heart ran. She ran as tears streamed down her face. She ran until she felt her legs burning and each step sent a lance of pain through her foot. How she steered around everyone on the sidewalks she didn't know but she found herself in a city park. Finally, Confidence Heart felt her legs give out and she collapsed on the grass, crying her eyes out and loudly sobbing and she grabbed handfuls of grass and pounded at the ground.

"Confidence, can I-"

Confidence Heart felt a hand on her shoulder and instantly rolled over and punched, and hit Love Heart right on the nose.

Confidence Heart's eyes went wide, "Love Heart! I'm sorry, I..."

Love Heart had a hand over his nose, "Ow! What the hell!" Love Heart glared at Confidence, but softened when he saw her tear-streaked face. Love Heart knelt down next to Confidence and carefully put a hand on her shoulder. "Can I help?"

Confidence opened her mouth to speak but all that came out was hoarse cry and she latched onto Love Heart and cried into his shoulder. Love Heart hugged Confidence and rubbed her back. A few people came around to see what was happening and Love Heart just told them that Confidence needed time to let it all out.

After over an hour Confidence's cries had dwindled to sniffles and she was able to speak. "It's all my fault."

"What?" Love Heart pulled back enough to look Confidence Heart in the face, or at least he tried as she had her head bowed.

"I should have quit; I shouldn't have asked them to come. If I had they would still be alive." Confidence Heart sniffed and rubbed her eyes, trying to clean the tears out.

"Don't say that, it's not your fault," Love Heart pulled her into another hug. Confidence didn't reply. Love Heart tried to smile and failed, "Want to head home?"

"OK." Confidence and Love Heart stood up and walked back towards the school.

"I wanted them to be proud of me," Confidence Heart whispered as they walked.

"What?" Love Heart turned to look at her.

"I wanted mom and dad to be proud of me." Confidence Heart took a deep breath, "After I kept getting into fights in school I wanted to show them that I could do something useful by fighting. That's why I didn't quit, or at least part of the reason. I just wanted to show them that I could..." Confidence wiped a couple more errant tears from her eyes.

The sun was disappearing over the horizon by the time they got back to the school and got in the old junker of a car.

"Can you drive?" Love Heart asked as he buckled himself in.

Confidence Heart buckled in and started the car. "I'll manage." She took a deep breath, shifted into reverse then backed out of her spot and drove for home.

Confidence didn't say anything as she pulled into her driveway and got back inside. Terrence wasn't home yet but Sage Heart, Life Heart and Sweet Heart were. When Confidence walked past the living room, Sweet Heart got up and dart over to her.

"Confidence," Sweet Heart grabbed Confidence Heart's sleeve and held the gold medal up to her, "Why did you throw this away."

Confidence Heart's eyes hardened for a moment until she looked back at Sweet Heart. Confidence Heart's eyes softened and she took the offered medal, sticking it in her pocket, "I'm sorry, Sweet Heart, I just... sorry but I just need to be alone." She carefully pulled her sleeve free from Sweet Heart's grip and walked up the stairs to her bedroom. Love Heart walked up behind his little sister and put a hand on her shoulder.

Sweet Heart looked up, "Is Confidence going to be alright, big brother?"

Love Heart shook his head, "I don't know."

OoOoO

Terrence was up late. There was paperwork spread across the dining room table that he had to sort out. He yawned then took a drink from his travel mug full of coffee, to avoid accidentally spilling over the papers.

The sound of his phone ringing broke him out of his trance and he checked the name on the screen before he answered. "Hi James."

James' higher pitched voice answered back, "Hi, Terrence. I heard what happened. Are you holding up alright?"

Terrence sat back in his chair, "As much as I can. Cassandra's not taking it well at all so I have to handle all the practical problems."

"How did it happen?"

"Drunk driver crashed into them." Terrence stared at the ceiling, "They didn't survive either."

"Want me to come over?"

Terrence managed a small smile, "No thanks, I don't need any cute distractions right now. I just want to get as much of this done as I can tonight."

James chuckled. "All right. I love you."

"I love you too," Terrence hung up then went back to the papers. He tried to focus for over an hour before even the coffee wasn't enough to keep him going and he went to bed.

OoOoO

Confidence Heart didn't want to go to school. She especially didn't want to go to school the very next day after the accident and especially since Love Heart couldn't come with her. She trudged past schoolmates without giving them a second glance, just trying to get to her class.

"Hey, watch it freak!" The voice came from Stuart as she bumped into him.

"Shut it!" Confidence Heart snapped back.

Stuart glared at her, "Oh by the way, real nice last night at the gym last night. What happened, couldn't stomach the whole macho man wrestling-"

"GRAAAH!" Confidence Heart couldn't restrain herself and hurled herself on Stuart. The overdeveloped teen was taken aback especially when Confidence started trying to bite him in addition to kicking and punching. Everyone stared at the two as Stuart started to fight back until Coach Wilson and the girl's gym teacher arrived and managed to pull them apart.

"Alright, both of you to the principal's office now!" Coach Wilson let Confidence Heart go. Confidence just glared at him then marched towards the office. Stuart grumbled but followed after her.

The principal sat across from the two at his desk. "I'm deeply disappointed in both of you. Stuart, I've talked to you about antagonizing other students before and we'll talk about this later. Now Cassandra, I heard about what happened last night and while that's no excuse for starting a fight in school I will give you some leeway this time, but I insist you see our guidance councillor after school today. Other than that, you may go to class."

"Fine..." Confidence stood up and left Stuart to his punishment.

School passed in a haze, especially when she had to listen to some of her teachers talking about exams. She wanted to just bolt, the only thing that kept her in the class was the thought of having to repeat her senior year.

OoOoO

"Terrence, what are you doing?" Sage Heart looked over the paperwork on the table.

Terrence looked up, "I have to organize things for the funeral, see who's coming, make sure everything's set up."

"Are you alright?" Sage Heart looked up at Terrence.

"I just have to suppress until everything's taken care of." Terrence sighed, "I'll manage."

"Alright, just don't hurt yourself," Sage Heart turned and left.

OoOoO

The funeral was thankfully brief. Confidence Heart got to see her extended family for the first time in years, if only it had been under better circumstances. Confidence sat in silence as she listened to the priest read their rights then sat quietly in the car as they drove to the gravesite then helped to carry her parents' coffins to their graves.

Confidence Heart stared at the closed coffins for a moment as other family members set bouquets of flowers on the headstones. Finally, she stepped forwards and pulled the gold medal she'd won from the pocket of her black dress pants and set it on her father's coffin. "I hope, you can still be proud of me," she whispered before she stepped back to watch the coffins be lowered into their graves.

Love Heart stood nearby with his parents and little sister. He wanted to approach Confidence as everyone started filing away from the gravesite until an older man in a business suit approached them.

"Excuse me, Terrence and Cassandra Avalon." His voice drew the siblings' attention to him. "I'm sorry this is abrupt but I am the executor of your parents' will. If you have time I need you to come with me to resolve the matter of inheritance."

"Alright, might as well get this over with," Terrence sighed, still keeping his face straight.

His boyfriend, James, stood next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. James was a fairly skinny young man about Terrence's age with short platinum blonde hair, pale skin and blue eyes behind a pair of large round glasses. "Be strong, Terr, I'll still be here for you."

Terrence nodded then gave him a kiss, "Can you drive them to the reception please, Jamie?" He nodded towards Love Heart, Sage Heart, Life Heart and Sweet Heart.

"I can. See you later," James left with the other Care Bears while Terrence and Confidence followed the executor to his office.

OoOoO

"Alright, I'll make this as quick as possible and I have good news for you at least." The Executor held up a hand to forestall questions, "Before you ask, in this line of work 'good news' is when the will is clear and simple enough that there are no severe hang-ups between the inheritors and the government." He pulled out the documents and set them on his desk in front of them. "From Adrian and Sarah Avalon: We leave all of our savings and any money from insurance, after a funeral is paid for, as a result of our death to be divided evenly between our two children: Terrence Avalon and Cassandra Avalon. All of our legal possessions and property are to be given to both of our children to be divided amongst themselves as they see fit." The executor took a breath, "There are a few more lines to avoid claims from outside sources but you shouldn't have much trouble with the banks."

"Thank you. Can we go to the reception now?" Terrence asked.

"Yes, you can. I will be in contact," the executor said.

Confidence had stayed silent throughout the reading and only glanced at the will briefly before they were allowed to leave. She got into the passenger seat off the minivan and waited for Terrence to start the car, but he just sat in the driver's seat.

"At least we won't have any money problems," Terrence said, "Mom and dad's life insurance paid out double because of accidental death and even after the funeral expenses we'll be fine."

"Is that all you can think about?" Confidence Heart was staring into her lap.

Terrence sighed and leaned back I the seat, "No, it's not. But I'm trying to keep it together," Terrence felt his arms start to shake and he folded his arms and gripped them, "I just need to keep it together until everything's done and-" Terrence couldn't hold back the tears anymore and the started streaming down his face.

Confidence Heart turned to her brother with a look of shock, "Terrence?"

Terrence took in a deep shuddering breath, "I-I can hold it together just until we get home. I promise we'll make it through this, Cassy, I just don't know how."

Confidence Heart looked away for a moment, then asked, "How did they die?"

"Drunk driver ran them off the road," Terrence said.

"Did he live?"

"No. He would have lost three limbs if he survived but there were complications in surgery."

Confidence Heart grit her teeth, "Good."

"Cassy?" Terrence dried his eyes and looked over at his sister.

"Just let me have this!" Confidence shouted, "If he was still alive I...I..." Confidence shook her head, "nevermind. Let's just get to the reception before we're missed."

Terrence dried his eyes, "Alright, let's go."

OoOoO

The reception was nice and held at a party hall outside of town, but Confidence still didn't want to be there. She exchanged platitudes with cousins, aunts and uncles and ate sparingly from the buffet until she couldn't handle it anymore and stepped outside. Confidence sat on the front steps of the building and just stared out at the countryside.

"Can I sit here?"

Confidence looked up to see Love Heart standing there in his plain black suit jacket and dress pants. For the first time in days, Confidence Heart smiled, "Yes, please."

Love Heart smiled back then sat next to Confidence on the steps. He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped and shut it again. Finally, he found the right words, "What are you going to do?"

"About what?" Confidence turned to Love Heart.

"Your life, I mean..." Love Heart faltered. "I wanted to ask how you feel but I guess..."

"It's fine." Confidence leaned back, supporting herself with her arms, "I guess just finish school now and then... I don't know." Confidence sighed, "I have to see the guidance councillor twice a week after school," Confidence narrowed her eyes, "I don't want to spend any more time at that school, I'd rather spend my time with you."

Love Heart couldn't help but smile and put an arm around Confidence. Thankfully she didn't object, "Thanks."

Confidence sat forwards and turned her head to look at Love Heart, "So how do you feel about this?"

Love Heart scrunched up his mouth in a quizzical look for a moment, "Honestly, I don't know. When your mom's an immortal unicorn and your dad used to be a wild animal death isn't something you talk about much. I only barely understand the idea and Sweet Heart? I think mom is still trying to find a way to tell her what it even means."

"Oh..." Confidence looked down.

"But I'm here for you so... if you need anything..." Love Heart wasn't sure what else to say.

Confidence looked up, smiled and then kissed him.

Love Heart blinked, "What?"

Confidence embraced him, "I just want to make sure you're still here."

Love Heart hugged her back, "I am. I'm still here Confidence."

OoOoO

"I'm pregnant," Life Heart whispered into Sage Heart's ear as they stood at the reception. James had left earlier with their children and Confidence Heart.

"You're sure?" Sage Heart whispered back, his voice quivering with excitement.

Life Heart nodded, "I found out two days ago but I wanted to wait to tell you until this was finished."

Sage Heart's face lit up in a bright smile and he hugged Life Heart. "This is amazing, thank you."

Life Heart giggled, "You did it too so thank you." She gave him a kiss.

"So do you know what it's going to be?" Sage Heart asked.

Life Heart shook her head, "Neither sex nor species, it's too early to tell any details. Besides I want to be surprised again."

"I'm sure we will be. I'm sure everyone will be," Sage Heart gave her a kiss.

OoOoO

Sweet Heart was exhausted by the day's events, so much so she didn't have the energy to climb or fly up the stairs. It was with some hesitation that Confidence Heart carried her to her parents' old room and lay her down on their former bed. She looked around the room and felt herself tearing up again. Surrounded by their now almost faded scent she could barely contain her tears again and swiftly exited the room.

Love Heart had waited at the top of the stairs for Confidence to put Sweet Heart to bed. He saw her come up the stairs, tears staining her face. Love Heart wasn't sure what to do, until Confidence Heart grabbed his shirt and pulled him into a deep kiss. "Stay with me," she whispered.

"I will."

Love Heart and Confidence were still kissing as she pulled him into her room, discarding clothing as she went until both of them were only in their underwear and on her bed. Confidence Heart was leaning hot and heavy into their kiss, until Love Heart pulled back.

"Confidence wait! Do you really want to do this?" Love Heart pushed Confidence off and held her at arms length above her.

"I do. You don't?" Confidence Heart used this moment to undo and toss away her bra.

Love Heart couldn't help but stare as his hormones went crazy and he pulled Confidence Heart into a deep passionate kiss that she was only too willing to join in and they practically tore the last of each others' undergarments away, claimed by the passion of the moment.

OoOoO

Life Heart and Sage Heart decided to extend their evening by going out to have their personal celebration while Terrence decided to call it a night. James had offered to stay over but Terrence just said that he wanted some time alone for the moment. Terrence leaned up against the front door of his house and finally let all his emotions out, bawling like a baby where no one else could see him. It was almost an hour before Terrence was recovered enough to climb the stairs and head to bed.

When he entered his room Terrence noticed that Love Heart wasn't there, lying on the air mattress that had been set up there for so long. He knew exactly where to look and when he got to his sister's room he only had to crack open the door and take a quick sniff of the stench from inside to know what had happened. Terrence shut the door, too drained to do anything about it tonight. He'd deal with it tomorrow.