The Demon Badger of Philadelphia
just a bunch of stories
A man sat at a campfire with four other people. Each seated in exactly the shape of a pentagram. They sat at the mouth Lost River Cave. Their tents scattered among the group, not too close to each other but not too far. These people spent their years doing this, and would continue to do so.
?So what?s tonight?s story, Frank??
?The Badger Lawyer from Hell. Though, it might be Philadelphia. No one can be quite sure.?
Frank coughed. He was getting up there in age for sure. The rest of the group was younger than him and came primarily for his stories. He wore sunglasses even around the fire to protect his poor eyes and spoke with a light southern drawl. Frank had a charm about him that even the most cold hearted could grow to love.
?It starts in the year of nineteen eighty. A new president, or ill or good will, had been elected?the economy was slowly on the rise and in a small town in Kentucky, a badger was born from the head of his father like Athena from Zeus.His poor pa died on that day the demon devouring what was left of his soul and the asserted it was his legal right! This badger wasn?t dispensing wisdom; but pure evil. He was fully grown and pure evil. He was holding Black?s Law Dictionary too.?
?wait, I thought you said he was from Philadelphia.?
Frank spit on the ground in front of him. The black spittle of tobacco juice fresh and smelly. He looked to the group until his covered eyes looked across from him. There sat a balding man in his mid-forties. He had a white coat, light though since it was still autumn and a smell of fine wine about him.
?I did, Sam. But even demon badger babies had to be born somewhere.?
That shit Sam up quickly. The rest of the group leaned in.
?It was a Hellion even for a demon. It roamed Kentucky for a number of years before suddenly disappearing. Some say the late, great Billy Graham himself condemned the spawn back to Hell??
The flames flicked a bit before dying down. One of the other patrons threw a big log on the fire and went back to chugging down another beer.
?A few years later the badger demon enrolled in the local university?s law school in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Now, the stories go that he tried to gain employment in the Steel City, Pittsburgh--the original gateway to the west; but that holy city denied him.?
Frank spit again.
?They say if you ear a hellish scream, the Demon has won another case. If you are ever in court against him, never look into his yellow eyes. For that is when the demon ensares you. What is unusual is that he has a soft spot for families and his fellow manimals. Or so the stories go. Another story is that he is the reason the Liberty Bell remains cracked. The day it reseals itself is the day the Badger Demon is finally vanquished?which signals the end of the world.?
?Is there anyway to stop him? Holy Water? Exorcism? Large bags of money??
?Booze.?
?Booze??
?That?s what I said, ain?t it? The demonspawn is only sated by booze. Give him enough and lays low until the next manimal meeting.?
?Good one, Frank!?
The rest of the group laughs and gets up. They all enter their tents, laughing at the story Frank told. Soon the last zipper was heard and Frank took off his sunglasses, revealing his yellow eyes.
?yeah, just a story.?