FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Gaslights lined a hall twice as wide as it was high. On either side ran a series of double doors; by each set, a plaque read the names of the months. The February doors were decorated with a red stamp--ribbon tassels hung from an engraving of wheat stalks.

As Adam inspected the stamp, he heard the faint gurgle of machines: robotic breathing and the continuous churning of a drowned pump. With shaking paws, the mouse pushed open the door.

The strange whir became reality with its increased volume. Adam stared in awe at the long steel-plated room. In the corner to his left was the machine: two mechanical hands pumped in and out of a suspended vat, from the bottom of which ran a thick white tube. Beside the machine was the strangest bed Adam had ever seen: a mattress so wide it was stretched around three points to form an inverted triangle. The top two points were made of grease-blackened wheels. The bottom point was a behemoth mass of flesh and fur.

Adam shut the door and stepped around the bed, marveling at the soft mountain. On first sight, it told of no particular animal, but stepping closer, Adam saw two thin rat feet suffocating beneath rolls of fat. Adam ducked under an eave of the suspended mattress to find the head of the bed.

The tube that ran from the machine disappeared in the rodent's muzzle. Heavy brown folds that arched between what should have been its shoulders propped the rat's head up from behind. Billowing breasts and swollen chins kept the rat's head in place from the front.

Its eyes were closed, and Adam could see no rise and fall to signal breathing.

"H-hello?" said Adam.

The immobile creature did not respond. Understanding the rodent could not speak too well with a tube in his mouth, Adam lifted it from the rat's muzzle.

Endless amounts of thick cream spewed over the rat's face. He did not squirm or cringe. Adam supposed the bed-bound rodent wouldn't be able to object if he wanted to; for all his girth, the rat looked incapable of moving a single muscle.

Adam replaced the tube and circled the bed to study the machine. There was a small lever flanked by two equally small words. Adam bit his lip and flipped the switch.

The whirring died. This time when Adam removed the tube, only drips fell from the end. Behind the machine were a sink and a trolley. The trolley was stocked with white towels and blankets. After wetting one towel under the faucet, Adam dabbed the mess from the rat's face. Looking for a place to toss the used towel, he saw numerous tin buckets against one wall--all of them empty and coated with yellow crust. He dropped the towel in one of these and used a second towel to clean his own fur.

As Adam cleared his face of blood and dirt, a siren arose behind him. He spun in place, dropping the stained towel at his feet. The rat was wailing like an infant.

"Stop!" Adam said, his palms held outward. He ran to the head of the rat and looked over him.

"WAAAAAAAHHH!" The sound pealed against every wall like a broken foghorn.

Adam looked around for an answer. He thought of stuffing a wet towel down the rat's throat--anything to stop the noise. He clamped the rat's muzzle shut with both paws. It wasn't easy; it felt like forcing two heads together.

"Be quiet!" he whispered. "Everyone will hear you!"

The rat clenched his eyes tight; it was the only way Adam could tell he was struggling. Even that looked like too much effort, and after a couple seconds, he relaxed. Adam let go when he saw moisture coat the rat's eyelids; he was crying.

"It's ok," said Adam. "Look, I'm sorry."

The rat opened its eyes and mouth. He gasped, chopping air in a hoarse inhale. He smacked his lips and moved his jaws like rusty hinges. The rat tried making sounds until he moaned out:

"FOOOOOOOOOD!"

"No," Adam refused. He stared at the crying mass of blubber. "Tell me what's going on here! Who are you?"

The rat mumbled. The salivated grumbles eventually turned into words:

"Gealtair...I want...we were...so hungry."

"Just tell me what's going on, and I'll put it back."

"Need it now!" Pain punctuated the rising scream; the volume was too much for the rat's unused pipes. He rambled in a soft voice:

"I don't know what's happening," he said. "Nightmare. Can't wake up. Where am I? Gealtair? Please..."

"You're in a bed." Adam wish he had more to say. Guilt tickled his paws. He wanted to return the rat's lifeline; it was not in him to be so stern. "I'm looking for Gealtair. Do you know where he is?"

"Find him," the rat said; his eyes were begging. "Tell him...I miss him. I love him."

"What is your name?" Adam asked. He could hear the lump in the rat's throat and how it coated his words.

"Aelis. Where's Gealtair? Why won't he see me? I'm a monster. I can't move. Just...tell him I'm sorry. I still love him."

Adam lost his will to speak. He put a paw on what he thought was Aelis's shoulder.

"I will tell him," he said. Adam looked back at the machine and dripping feeding tube. "When was the last time you saw him?"

In the long pause, Adam looked into Aelis's glassy eyes. The rat stared up at the dim and plain ceiling, but in his living eyes, a dozen complex emotions danced like dying stars.

"I met Gealtair when he came back from war. I was a guard then, for King Utna. I came from Holimont to find a new life. I walked for days 'til I heard music in the mountains. I nearly fell to my death many times, but all that mattered was that sound, dripping over the crags. Like angels. I think they helped me climb.

"When I reached the top, I saw two guards. So beautiful. The boldest rats I'd ever seen. They had halberds of bright gold--it looked like they were made of light, when they reflected the sun.

"The guards were ready to attack, but I must have looked strange: grinning like I was, clinging to the rocks. I was scratched, bruised, bleeding.

"I must have shown no threat; next thing I knew, I was in a great kitchen, eating, drinking the return of my health. I sat drunken by the symphony so near. I try to hear it now, but it fades.

"I was brought before the king. Utna, majestic and strong. This was not just a rat. He was born royalty. I expressed my love for his kingdom. He told me the music was for a masquerade; to celebrate the end of the war.

"'It's a shame you didn't arrive earlier,' he told me. 'I can see you would have made a fine soldier.'

"I told him I would guard his kingdom with the heart of any soldier. And I did.

"But Utna died, and Gealtair was king. I had won Utna's confidence, but to Gealtair I was nothing. Still, I was the best guard. The others had become lazy. They were old and out of practice. But I trained myself every day.

"One night, I was posted alone, at the cave gate, when I noticed something moving in the darkness. Instead of approaching, I put out my light and hid with my back to a wall. I faced the hall to the kitchen, where I'd be able to see the intruder's silhouette. My heart skipped when I felt something pass. The creeping outline was gigantic! A weasel or a ferret, maybe. I held on to my halberd as I shook in fear, but still I followed him.

"The ferret had a sack to stash stolen food in. I prayed to the spirit of my mother and charged my halberd into the ferret's hip. I bound him with crate ropes and brought the sack to my captain. It wasn't long after, I was asked to see Gealtair.

"There was an air about Gealtair, just like Utna. I think it was written in the stars for him to have a hundred eyes on him at all times. He sat in a modest chair in a moderate study; but it might as well have been a throne in a gilded hall. I bowed before his desk and my head swam. What had I done to be there? A hundred eyes meant for him, maybe, but at that moment his two eyes were only on me. He smiled at me.

"'You stopped a thief,' he said.

"I tried to respond, but my voice wouldn't work. 'I-I...I,' I stammered, but finally I whispered, 'Yes, yes, I did,' and immediately I was angry with myself. I didn't do anything! I had thwarted one small, meaningless burglary, and here I was, boasting my credit.

"'What is your name?' he asked.

"I told him.

"'Thank you, Aelis. You are a fine guard. I appreciate your service.'

"I returned to my bunk with no awards or medals. But I slept in pride, smiling to have his voice in my head. A voice meant for me. I had proven myself over the other guards, and that was all I needed. I felt whole in my heart, and when he smiled to me, I knew I was in love. I recognized a level of equality from those soft eyes. Equality from a king! Even now my heart flutters.

"That night I daydreamed myself to sleep. Silly dreams. Ridiculous even. I imagined us existing as husband and wife. I wanted to cook for him. To snuggle with him by the fire on a bitter winter night. I wanted to run my paws over his chest and back. I wanted to show him service he could really appreciate.

"I was in a daze--a cloud--for weeks I think. I didn't see him again, and I started working as hard as I could. Being as aware a guard as ever before. He would notice me again. And again and again. Until he would know me as a trusted friend. He was in my thoughts everyday, and in truth, still I think of him. And wait."

Aelis wheezed. Only his labored breath and passionate eyes conveyed an animal with spirit. Adam looked over the trapped rodent as he rolled the end of Aelis's feeding tube between his paws. He tried a taste of the yellow drippings while Aelis told his story, but there was no flavor; just a thick consistency that reminded Adam of the black pool. Adam shuddered.

Aelis choked on air, and Adam jumped to attention.

"Aelis?"

"The tube," Aelis squeaked.

Adam replaced the tube in Aelis's mouth and turned the machine back on. Aelis seemed to relax as the pistons whirred to life. He closed his eyes, and Adam knew then how little time remained for this rat; probably the same as his own family had. Adam turned off the machine and Aelis replaced the machine's moaning with his own.

"What happened, Aelis?" Adam's voice was once again stern. He pulled the tube from the rat's weak jaws. "How did you end up like this?"

Aelis's whimpering subsided. He sniffled and winked tears from his eyes. Again, he tested his speech until solid words returned:

"Gealtair asked for me again. He remembered me. Late one night, I was ushered to Gealtair's private chamber. It could have been its own den, it was so vast.

"He offered me a seat, at a table, where he served me my second dinner that evening. How could I say no? The king--the heart of my every dream--serving me! I was jumping inside. I forced every bite down, sometimes looking past him to the royal bed, where I imagined he laid his naked body every night. I bit my tongue at the thought!

"But nothing came; not even a kiss. He fed me past the point of discomfort, but I never gave in. That night, I lay in my bed, masturbating, despite the pain of an overstuffed stomach.

"D-do you think I could have just a little...?"

"Not yet."

Aelis groaned, but he steadied his breathing and continued:

"Before that night, Gealtair was a staple of my every thought, but he became my driving lust ever after. He only teased me. He sent gifts--delicate pastries, chocolate truffles, such rich foods the other guards may never even see for all of their lives! I ate everything as quickly as I could; I didn't want anyone to know I was getting special treatment.

"Many nights, I would sneak to his chamber. But every time, he only fed me. Every day I felt closer to him, but if I tried to make a move, I remembered who he was: the King of Ifrinn. It was not my place to lead.

"I ate everything he offered, out of respect for the rat I adored--worshipped. When I first noticed the weight I was gaining, I felt rejuvenated. Now, with all my training, I had muscle to show off. It was the tiniest amount, but I admit I boasted it with every move I made.

"But no one cared. The other guards stopped talking to me. They stayed away from me and grumbled when I was around. They laughed at me and said things I couldn't hear. I ate to fill a void that grew by the day. Eating was a comfort. To stretch my stomach reminded me of Gealtair feeding me--the laughter we shared, the way he'd look at me in the firelight.

"I told Gealtair how they treated me. He offered me a position as his personal advisor; I leapt at it. I read every book of law and the land. I was solid in my knowledge of diplomacy, but when I asked Gealtair for his political opinions, he froze up. I began to see the state of the kingdom for what it was becoming. We were in danger.

"I wrote letters to foreign kings, extending nothing more than a friendly paw. I studied their lands. I complimented them in their own tongue. I never asked for one thing.

"I found my letters in Gealtair's desk drawer--all ripped open, unsent--I resigned. I told him I cared too much for my work. If I were his advisor, the job would come between us.

"'I love you,' I told him then. 'I'd sacrifice anything, no matter how much it means to me, if I knew it would hurt our chances together.'

"'Together?' he asked.

"He looked so shocked that I stepped back. I had gone too far. This is the King, I told myself. You are nothing. You are lucky to be speaking to such an important rat. To breathe his very air.

"I withdrew, ashamed. He was a busy, important figure; he needed time for himself. I returned to the chamber he had given me with my promotion. That's when I saw everything in a new light.

"I had worked so hard, but for what? To chase my own tail? I was in paradise. The king himself had fed me in his very own chamber, and yet I was still working myself to death! What was there left to prove?

"I took advantage of all I had deprived myself. When I was a guard, the others emptied pantry barrels without guilt, but I had always held back, thinking that was improper. Ha! Improper? Maybe Gealtair knew best and Ifrinn would never fall. Like the storytellers sang in my childhood: Rats are the kings of the world!

"I let the head chef bring me sizzling roasts. I stayed drunk for a week just to prove to myself I could, that no one could stop me! I ate chocolate till my teeth screamed in pain. And I ate every kind of cheese under the roof.

"I didn't exercise anymore. What was the point? There were no enemies to guard against. All my life I had remained on my toes, at the ready for anything, but why? What enjoyment can you get out of life when every waking hour you're jerking at every sound? No, I exchanged my prized muscle tone for a soft potbelly that rested in my lap while I feasted beyond my fill, night after heavenly night.

"But it didn't take long to fall from my high like the dead weight I had so quickly become. The guards snickered at me, and I looked at myself through my old eyes. My body was swollen with fat. When it was full, my bulbous gut hung so low and broad that I had no choice but to waddle, and when I did, the weight I gained mocked me by jiggling and bouncing with every step.

"I went to see Gealtair. I told him in tears that I hated myself. I asked to be a guard again. If it was my job, I would train with such ambition, I would lose all the weight in a month. Two months maybe. That was the kind of drive I had.

"I ignored the fact that he hadn't given one thought to me. He never visited me while I was holed up in my chamber. He didn't seem to care when I when I went back to him. It was like he was surprised and put out. I didn't realize 'til later, it was always me who went to him. Other than that first night, he made no initial move in my favor.

"I'm sorry," Aelis said. "I'm so hungry. Could I...?"

Adam returned the tube for a few minutes. When he removed it, Aelis opened his eyes. He looked shocked, but he did not scream or even moan.

"I was overweight and unemployed. But that didn't matter; not in Ifrinn. The atmosphere changed after Utna died. Everywhere was apathy. I had focused so intently on Gealtair, I had only once before seen the kingdom's decay. Even then it was political. Now I could see more than our foundation collapsing; our heart was dying as well.

"No one worked. If someone dropped a pail of slop, he'd leave it for someone else. The next rat to see it expected the first to clean it. The halls smelled of sex and rot. It was a common sight to see two rats making love in plain view: on the tables of the dining hall, in the courtyard and gardens. I once saw a threesome in a spiral stairwell. I stepped around them; all I could think of was getting to the kitchen.

"I was raiding the pantry one night when a rat grabbed me from behind. He was strong, and he held me against him. I dropped the large jar of peanut butter I had been digging my snout into when his thin fingers squeezed the flab on my haunches.

"'I didn't know we were growing pigs here,' he said. His breath was warm in my ear, and I could feel something digging beneath my tail. He shoved me forward and demanded me to eat.

"'What are you waiting for, you fucking hog?' His paws slapped my hips. 'You came here to stuff your face, so get to it!'

"I replaced my muzzle in the jar like it was a feedbag. I stuffed my mouth while he stuffed my ass. He gripped the base of my tail in one powerful fist, and with the other, he shook the fat on my rump. He pounded into me with no concern of my welfare, and I started to fill with excitement. My cock grew right into my hanging stomach fat.

"'Fat pathetic fuck!' he'd call me.

"That night he came in me twice. I ate more than my belly could hold just to follow his orders. I even loved the way he laughed at me. The way he just took me in his paws and had his way with me. I never saw much of him; all I remember is feeding myself while he made love to me. I can't even tell you his name, and to be honest, every time I think about it, I see Gealtair.

"But he held me. He nibbled at my back and my neck fat, and he whispered to me:

"'My fat little piggy. Oh, that's a good hog--fill up that big, fat gut, you slob. Eat for me, you pathetic glutton. You can't even reach your own dick anymore, can you, you slut? Yeah, just a useless...waste--can't even feed himself anymore. Oh, you fat...fat...pig!'"

Adam looked away as Aelis let out a long groan. He felt as though he was invading a private moment. He figured these stories had been building up in Aelis for a long time, begging to be told, but Adam knew he had to get moving.

"Did this rat do this to you?" he asked.

"Do what?" The question sounded odd from a muzzle almost too fat to move. Aelis had told every word of his story to the ceiling. He had no choice.

"Is he the reason you're in this bed?"

The question hung in the air a while. Aelis moaned--a low vibration that rose higher as it grew louder. Finally words shaken with fear erupted from the immobile rat:

"I see when I was just a child, playing on the floor with the blocks my father made with his own paws. My parents and my brothers. My sisters. They smiled at me, and I could do no wrong. I was a good child. 'Such a sweetheart,' my mother would say. I was innocent in their eyes.

"I learned from the world. I sought knowledge, not only in books, but in trees and in long river valleys. The changing of the seasons can teach you more than any stagnant professor. I never slowed down. I never rusted up. I was the best guard! Won't anyone remember that?

"You have to see I love Ifrinn. I came to the sound of angels! I was brought here for a reason--won't anybody see?"

Adam caught Aelis's streaming tears with the soft corner of a white towel. The mouse stood over Aelis, petting the rat's round cheeks.

"There's still hope, Aelis. It would take a lot of work, but you can do it. Didn't you just tell me you had more drive than anyone else."

Aelis looked into Adam's eyes and sniffled. His tears ran endlessly.

"Please," he said. "You don't know how much it hurts. I'm so hungry."

"I know," said Adam. "But you're a fighter, remember? In your heart, you still are."

"Please!" Aelis's voice shook. "I'm starving!"

The tremulous shout startled Adam. He looked at the tube in his paws. There was no time left to argue. He fit the feeding tube back into Aelis's muzzle.

"I will find Gealtair," Adam said. "I will remind him of you. And he will know your love, Aelis."

Adam leaned over and kissed Aelis on the cheek. He turned the machine back on. As he walked away, the room once again filled with mechanical gurgling.