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"H-hey, stop it that - that tickles! Marlin! Will you-"

_ _

Eli squirmed beneath the fox's weight, his laughter coming out as a breathy huff. Marlin hadn't been on the school's football team in two years and yet none of his muscle had disappeared. The wild dog wriggled in vain, trying to push his boyfriend off of him and get the upper hand - though only succeeded in worming himself more firmly between the fox and wall, the cushioning of the bed beneath them doing nothing to his advantage.

_ _

"Give up." Smooth, warm voice tickled at his ear and the fur of his neck - and Eli sucked in a sweet gasp when sharp teeth followed that voice, setting into his skin through his fur just enough for him to feel. On instinct his body tensed up, his hips lifted, he shivered... "Come on, Eli. Say it!" Paws keeping his wrists pinned above his head, strong vulpine scent curling around his nose...

_ _

"Okay. Okay!" Another laugh, sharpened by the tingling pain of that playful bite, followed by one more attempt. "I give up. I give up. You got me." The wild dog shifted again, waited until Marlin released his neck and grinned at him... and then Eli let his tongue loll out of his mouth and rolled his eyes into his head. "You killed me. I'm dead. Bleh."

_ _

"You already let me toss you around like you're a corpse." To prove his point, Marlin swiftly readjusted his focus and slid in between Eli and the wall, easily pushing the dog onto his side. Eli let his arms flop limply over. "See?"

_ _

"No. That's 'cause I'm dead."

_ _

"Yeah?" There was that hungry heat in his ear again. Eli couldn't resist the shiver that racked his body when Marlin brought his paw up the wild dog's chest, claws digging into his short fur. "You seem a bit warm for a corpse."

_ _

"That's 'cause I'm rotting."

_ _

"Full of gas, huh?" Marlin poked his belly, making Eli double forward and laugh again. "I could make a rigor mortis joke, too, but that seems a bit..."

_ _

"No, no..." Eli licked his lips and swallowed. It still made him a little nervous to initiate things with the fox, but after a couple of months together... he reached down, took Marlin's paw in his own, slid it the rest of the way down, and grinded forward against it. "Go ahead. Please."

_ _

"Ooh." Rub, squeeze, squeeze... "The joke kinda makes itself, doesn't it? Let me... just..."

_ _

Eli pressed his rump back against the fox again, then pushed forward when he felt him open the button and zipper of his fly. Then those warm fingers came in, seeking through the loose fabric of his boxers, finding the familiar firm heat, wrapping around to squeeze and stroke...

_ _

~ ~ ~

_ _

"Who are you talking to?"

"Huh?" Eli looked over his shoulder at the fox behind him, then back to the computer screen. "Oh. Just Lily. We have to finish up our end-of-year project."

_ _

"Oh." In the reflection of the screen he caught Marlin's scowl. "I don't like her."

_ _

"What? Why?"

_ _

"I don't like the way she talks to me."

_ _

The wild dog frowned, pausing halfway through his message. "Huh? When did you two...?"

_ _

"For your Christmas party. She kept on talking to just you, and she'd ignore me. I could tell she heard me, but she wouldn't say anything directly to me. And the few times she did, she was, like... rude."

_ _

For his boyfriend's sake, Eli maintained his frown as if he didn't know exactly the reason why. Shortly after that party Lily had hit him up on their messaging program to talk about her problems with his fox, and most of her points Eli understood and, honestly, shared. Maybe to a lesser degree, but they were still there. The way he spoke over everyone else; his unfounded sense of pride; how it seemed like he couldn't accept being wrong; how he never apologized...

_ _

"Oh." Eli swallowed and shrugged, then moused over to minimize the chat window. "Well, I'm sorry. I could - talk to her, or..."

_ _

Behind him, Marlin sighed; a moment later came the sound of him sprawling back out on the wild dog's bed. "I don't think you should talk to her at all anymore."

_ _

"...What?"

_ _

"Yeah. If she's gonna be treating your boyfriend like shit, then she doesn't respect you or your relationship."

"Marlin, she's - been my best friend all year-"

_ _

"Yeah. And I've been your boyfriend since last year." The heat in the fox's voice was apparent. "It just... this isn't the first time I've mentioned it. You know? And you said, yeah, you'd talk to her, but nothing changed. And that hurts. You rag on me when your friends complain about me, but I complain about your friends and you do nothing..."

_ _

Eli had to keep his paws on the keyboard. He knew that if he lifted them away they'd be shaking.

_ _

~ ~ ~

_ _

"Gosh. When was the last time we went on a date?"

_ _

Eli was glad that this theater had the couples' seating. As soon as they had gotten in, the two had lifted their shared armrest and entwined themselves as much as they could, thankfully hidden within the darkness of the theater. And, of course, already Marlin's paw had wandered to inappropriate places twice, both shooed away by Eli's giggling urging and the promise of 'later'.

_ _

"Hmm." Marlin bumped his head gently against the wild dog's, the lines of the credits as they rolled reflecting brightly in his eyes. "Does that thing in the park count?"

_ _

"What thing?"

_ _

"You know. Past midnight. That one tree just off the trail?" The fox leaned in to nip at Eli's ear. He loved it when he did that. "I lifted you up and squeezed you between the tree and my chest, and-"

_ _

Again, Eli was glad for the darkness, even as the lights started to slowly brighten back up. He tried to cover his blush with his other paw. "Oh. Yeah. That time."

_ _

"I was gonna say, I don't think that's something you'd've forgotten..." That nipping turned into nuzzling, and then that nuzzling turned into a shared string of kisses. "C'mon, Eli. Let's head out. I'm ready to cash in on that rainy day check you wrote me."

_ _

"Never been one for patience, huh?" Eli chuckled as he rose. For a moment the two stretched out their bodies, getting used to standing up again after the two-and-a-half hour runtime - and then, right after, entwined their paws again. It felt strange to be with Marlin and not touch him. "You know, the only reason I got my driver's license so early was because of your urging."

_ _

"Yeah, since I only have my dad's car for driving back and forth from work. Besides..."

_ _

Hot breath at the base of his ear, making it flick.

_ _

"He loves that thing more than he loves me. You bet he'd notice a new stain on the upholstery."

_ _

"God!" Eli playfully pushed at his boyfriend's chest. The sound of Marlin's laugh just made his grin wider. "You're awful."

_ _

"And still you love me."

"Yeah, I do. Somehow." Eli shouldered through the door, then immediately squinted against the bright lights of the hallway outside. "Hey. Thanks for doing this for me, hon."

_ _

"Yeah, no problem. It's been a while since I've treated my puppy, so I just figured..."

_ _

"Thank you." Eli turned to him, took both of his paws in his own, and leaned down to plant a kiss to the fox's lips. "I do love you. Don't you ever doubt that."

_ _

~ ~ ~

_ _

'The sky opened up that night', Eli typed in, seeing the scene unfold in his head, 'and poured out all of the rain that it had kept from the land for the past two years. It was cool and sweet and in that moment the people remembered what they had missed. So long without it had made it so that they no longer knew what they were waiting for, or what they were missing.'

_ _

Satisfied, the while dog took his paws away from the keyboard and sat back, looking up through the couple of paragraphs he had gotten down today. It was hard to find the time and energy to write anymore, what with how much time Marlin insisted on spending with him, and hanging out with his other friends, and final exams coming up, and... everything that that entailed.

_ _

'You need to start thinking about what you're going to do,' his mom had told him. 'Really, you should have been thinking about it already.' And he had: he'd already gotten accepted to the community college, and planned to carry that to the end and see if any currents swept him up and brought him away.

_ _

Not that Marlin would have anything to do with that. The wild dog sighed, scrolled up a page or two, then reached over to save his progress. The last time he'd discussed it with his boyfriend, Marlin had said - what was it? - 'I'll get a better job and you'll come live with me, and I'll cover everything for you.' 'I'm not doing that,' Eli had told him, which he knew as soon as it had come out of his mouth that it was the wrong response. 'I don't want to rely on you.' The two hadn't spoken for two days after, a record since their last breakup, and admittedly Eli had been relieved at the break.

_ _

Then the doorbell rang, catching him by surprise and causing his ears to perk back up. That must be Randal - he'd invited him over to hang out this weekend, knowing that exams were all next week and since the two hadn't seen each other outside of school in about a month and a half. Tail wagging behind him, Eli saved his story twice more, then closed down the program and pushed his desk chair back. His bare footpaws thumped quietly across the carpeted floor as he made his way down the hall, going through the checklist in his head: he'd made sure his two game consoles were all updated; he'd already acquired pizza money from Mom; he'd gotten her to take him by the store to stock up on sodas and candy...

_ _

The wild dog brushed himself off once he made it to the front door, then swallowed, reached for the knob, undid the lock, pulled it open - and immediately frowned.

_ _

"Shit. What's that look for?" Marlin leaned in to steal a kiss and then pushed past him into the house. "I'd almost think you're not happy to see your own damn boyfriend."

_ _

"W-well, I..." There was that feeling again, that sudden cold weight in his chest. It used to be a hot, burning annoyance, but now it had become something else. "I mean. I'd already invited Randal over, and I... just wasn't expecting him to show up..."

_ _

"Oh, yeah? I like Randal." That was a one-sided thing. Unlike Lily, Randal usually avoided conflict and as such put on his best face around Marlin. A good fifth of his conversations with Eli were of shared grievances about the fox, though, with Eli constantly apologizing for his boyfriend's behavior and explaining, 'well, that's just the way he is' and 'he was brought up in a rough family' and 'he doesn't know better' and... "Tell him I'll be here."

_ _

"Oh. No, um, that's..." Eli patted his pocket for his phone. "That's alright. I'll tell him that plans changed."

_ _

~ ~ ~

_ _

"Elijah?"

_ _

"Yeah, Mom?"

_ _

The older wild dog gave her son the same soft smile that he'd remembered throughout all of his childhood. Though she had gotten shorter - or him taller, rather; now he stood a full head above the top of her huge ears - and though the splotches of her fur had faded somewhat with time, that smile never lost any of its warmth. She pointed up towards the top shelf beside him.

_ _

"Could you grab that, please?"

_ _

"What, this?"

_ _

"No, no. The other one. You know I don't like the guy on that one."

_ _

"Ah." Eli had to stand onto his toes to reach the bottle of hot sauce, then grinned as he handed it to her. "The Cholula gal was my first love, you know."

_ _

"Oh, stop it." His mom swiped it from him, sneaky amusement glittering in her eyes. "You don't even like girls."

_ _

Eli shrugged, sliding his paws back into his pockets. At that instant, though, his phone vibrated, so he took it out and swiped the message open - and was immediately glad for his height advantage over his mom. He used to forward Marlin's dick pics to his email so he could save them in a second place, but after she'd borrowed his laptop when hers died...

_ _

"Elijah..."

_ _

"Huh?"

_ _

His mom had turned her head away from him, scanning the other shelf up and down. Not finding whatever it was she was looking for, though, the other wild dog shrugged and pushed the cart forward again.

"Are you still with Marlin?"

_ _

"Oh." And there, again, was that strange motherly clairvoyance. He closed the message. "Yeah. Why?"

_ _

"Mm. Good for you. High school sweethearts usually don't last once they graduate."

_ _

"Yeah, well..." He shrugged. "We're making it work."

_ _

"I'm sure you are. It's just..."

_ _

Here it came. Every time the fox came up in conversation between them, it turned into this. It had happened so many times that Eli had started defaulting to his usual bullshit answers, the same he gave his friends.

_ _

"...I don't know, honey. I think you could do better. He seems... loud, and pushy. He acts like he's smarter than everyone."

_ _

"He got B's on all his finals senior year."

_ _

"Yes, and you told me he got rejected from the community college." Her eyes fixed on him again. It seemed that those had just gained clarity over the years. "Now, I might not know what I'm talking about since I let you organize your parties when I'm out on the weekends, but - it seems like he doesn't get along with any of your friends, either."

_ _

"Yeah..." Eli shrugged. "None of my friends like him."

_ _

"That says something, Elijah."

_ _

"I know, Mom."

_ _

"He seems immature."

_ _

"Mom, we literally just graduated high school."

_ _

"It's just..." She grimaced against the squeaking of the cart's one bad wheel. It was the worst when it turned. "You need - you deserve - someone who respects you and your wishes. I know I've said it before, I know I'm repeating myself, but I feel like he doesn't do that. I feel like he doesn't really listen to you." The older wild dog scoffed. "I know he doesn't listen to me, after how many times I told him to clean up his dirty dishes instead of leaving them out."

_ _

"Yeah, I know..." Eli usually managed to get most of them before she got home, but every now and then one or two slipped his notice, or he'd just forget. Sometimes it shocked him to realize how drained he felt after hanging out with his fox.

_ _

"Now..." His mom lowered her voice, leaning in towards him. "It's your relationship. I get that. But, still - I'm your mom. I'm gonna worry."

_ _

"I know, Mom. We're doing fine." He forced a chuckle. "Thank you, though."

_ _

"Yeah, yeah, I know. 'Why is my mom talking to me about this'." She waved a paw, then in a smooth movement grabbed a can of chili from the shelf. "I gave your brother the same treatment, don't you worry. Have you heard from him lately, by the way?"

_ _

~ ~ ~

_ _

He had to dig his claws into the wood of the headboard ahead of him to keep himself upright, abs and thighs burning with the prolonged effort of the movement. Quite some time ago the wild dog's jaw had fallen open, giving way to his panting, breathy moans and whatever drool happened to drip out. His heart pounded in his throat and ears, his head swam with the buzzing tingle of pleasure, his cock twitched and throbbed between his legs, only adding to the slick pool of pre that had gathered along the fox's bellyfur beneath him.

_ _

Marlin had told him not to touch himself tonight. At first that had annoyed Eli - he'd already brought the fox through at least two orgasms - but now that he could feel the growing pressure in his loins, due not only to the squeezing of the vulpine's knot keeping him tied to his waist, he was somewhat thankful for that prohibition. It drew everything out, made him focus on the fox instead of himself, and now...

_ _

Eli bit his lip, closed his eyes, swallowed, lifted his hips while giving a slight push - and shivered as that knot popped out of him, again. Marlin gave a sharp gasp beneath him as well, his entire body squirming with the feeling of that slick, wet tug. The wild dog held himself there for a moment, legs shaking, then settled back down... and grunted when the firm bulb of flesh sank and then slid back into him, straining against his stretched tailhole for a moment before popping back inside of his rump. Like a rope suddenly snapped taut, he straightened sharply up, swallowed again, shivered, and sighed, the sudden pressure squeezing yet another fat glob of pre down along his own shaft.

_ _

For the past fifteen minutes, probably, he had been doing this - careful lift up, gasp, squirm, then preparation and pushing back down, loving the stretch and pull and press, feeling like the next one might just push him over the edge. Between the pulls, Marlin looked as satisfied as could be, eyes gently shut and mouth hanging open, breathing slow and steady. Happy and satisfied, while Eli worked himself past the point of languid exhaustion atop him - and each time, that imminent need disintegrated into the same slight discomfort. How could it not be uncomfortable? Marlin's knot was slightly larger around than the wild dog's own clenched fist.

_ _

"Please," he panted, and pulled himself up again. He extricated one paw from the headboard to reach down for himself. "Please, I wanna..."

_ _

"No, no..." Marlin rumbled, catching his wrist before he made it. Still the fox had the superior strength between the two, and he forcibly held Eli's paw away from himself. "I want to see if you can finish yourself off without touching."

_ _

"My abs hurt and I'm..." A breathy swallow, an exhausted chuckle. Part of why Eli pushed so quickly back down onto that knot was because his legs didn't have the strength to keep himself up. "God. I'm gonna be sore the rest of the week. I'm tired..."

_ _

Suddenly Marlin leaned up to grab his other wrist and, still buried under the wild dog's tail, flipped him over onto his back so that the fox half-knelt above him. A little bit more adjustment and he had pulled one of Eli's legs over his shoulder, with the other hooked around his waist; the tired wild dog looked up into those bright blue eyes, suddenly full of the same near-infinite sexual energy that had always pulsed through his fox.

_ _

White teeth in a white muzzle grinned down at him as Marlin gave a few tentative pushes from his hips, the tugging behind his knot making his expression falter only a little. Eli, however, sucked in another gasp and grasped at the sheets above his head, feeling the push of the fox's cock inside of him. He already knew from experience that if he were to reach down and run his paw over his belly, he'd be able to feel that hot firmness.

_ _

"How about..." the fox went on, this time pulling his knot back out of his boyfriend. Eli could hardly even clench around him anymore. "I make you even more tired?"

_ _

Panting, he looked up through half-closed eyes - and suddenly wanted that broad pink tongue shoved down his throat over his own. "I dare you."

_ _

~ ~ ~

_ _

"The only person making you feel this way is yourself."

_ _

Eli dropped his head into his paw, squeezing his eyes shut against the burning brightness of his phone screen in the middle of the night. He had to remind himself to breathe slowly, to make sure he wasn't getting himself too worked up over this. Still, though, the tears gathered at the corners of his eyes, and something terrible burned and bubbled in his chest. Rage, frustration, shame, disappointment... exhaustion. Always the exhaustion.

_ _

And, yet...

_ _

"I know," he typed back, then watched as the message went. The 'sent' icon immediately flicked to 'read'. "We've been here so many times and I just get tired of it. It's like nothing ever changes."

_ _

"I have changed :c you know that hon. Ive tried so much for you. Sometimes I feel like you don't respect my wishes. Dont think I forgot about how none of your friends like me."

_ _

The worst part of this was, beneath all of these swirling, muddled emotions lingered the dreadfully familiar guilt, the knowledge that he had been the reason for this last breakup. He had been the one to bring it up; he had been the one to push Marlin to shouting; he had been the one to storm out of the apartment fuming, already resolving that he would never turn back. That was a month ago.

_ _

And here he was now, having hit the 'unblock' button by Marlin's number for the fourth time this week. Tonight was the first time he had gathered the courage to say something, though, instead of just cutting the contact off again.

_ _

"I don't talk to any of them anymore. You know that."

_ _

You made me do that, Eli thought. Lily had never forgiven him, and she had that right.

_ _

"I feel like you dont listen to me, eli"

_ _

"Look. I'm sorry, ok? Can we just... try again?"

_ _

"Itll have to be on my terms."

_ _

"You have to change for me too, you know. A relationship has to be a partnership."

_ _

"I told you, I have changed. :s I dont know what else you could want from me"

_ _

Like every other time this happened, the wild dog asked himself: is it worth it? Is it really worth going through this bullshit? The relief, the freedom he'd felt from this month apart from Marlin... he hadn't felt those in a long time. But then, at night he rolled over and looked out across his queen-size bed, and he stretched his arm out to grasp nothing but more covers and the pillow that no longer saw use.

_ _

There was the deep, awful ache, the recognition and knowledge that Marlin was, simply, the only person who had shown him love since high school. Most of his friends had since moved on or moved away, to the point where a message from Randal, who used to be his best friend, was something that happened maybe once a month and that no longer excited or interested him; Greg had just been using him the whole time, which he should have figured out the fourth time he brought his girlfriend over to Eli's and shut themselves in the guest bedroom; Mason he had lost contact with, Daniel had moved to a different college, Derek went into the army...

_ _

"I just feel like we could be better," he finally typed back. "Both of us."

_ _

No response for one minute, two, three. Nervous, restless, the wild dog stood up and paced around his room, phone always clutched in his paw. On his seventh circuit around the room it vibrated.

_ _

"Idk"

_ _

And so it would remain. The churning, tossing sea of life between the fox and the wild dog brought them closer and spread them further apart as the days passed, sometimes with Eli going a week without thinking of him, some nights with him thinking back to their shared times together and fantasizing about what might be in the future. Gradually they became comfortable with seeing each other in person today, with Eli wagging his tail despite himself while waiting for the fox to show up at the local mall's food court... and then not fifteen minutes later he was bent over the toilet in one of the bathroom stalls, feeling that familiar knot pressing up against his tailhole, trying to force its way in.

_ _

The relationship was a sore subject to ask about; he discovered that quite quickly. Sometimes he used it as a way to get Marlin off his back, during those times when the fox's very existence annoyed him to the core - "so," he'd say, "have you thought any more about us getting back together?", and then satisfaction at the way the fox fell quiet, or suddenly remembered he had something else he needed to do.

_ _

They saw each other for sex. That was it. Eli had had other partners, sure, but none of them felt anywhere near as intense as when he went at it with Marlin. It was that pounding, breathless exhilaration, the filling, heated pleasure, the richness of the contact and closeness of the touch - and in those moments he always, always remembered why he still wanted this fox to be his. He wanted that touch, wanted that look in Marlin's eyes whenever the fox broke a deep, wet kiss to grit his teeth and grunt, pumping his load deep under Eli's tail. "You mean something to me," that look said. At least, that was how Eli understood that look.

_ _

He got Marlin gifts, too. A t-shirt he'd been wanting, a sex toy to use when he couldn't come over, a case of his favorite soda, a bottle of whiskey for which the two had developed a taste after finding it in the house in high school. One day Eli went to the local music shop looking for something else for him, a new album from one of Marlin's favorite groups.

_ _

On that unassuming stormy summer day, a striped hyena walked through the doors of the shop. Hardly a month and a half later, a month and a half that sped by, Eli found himself stirred awake beside her in bed by a nuzzle under his chin and a rub against his lower back. The hyena opened her eyes, too; he smiled, and she smiled back. And her lovely eyes glittered.

_ _

That look said more than "You mean something to me". Eli knew what that look said to him, what it said about him. It said exactly what he thought and wanted Marlin to say. And here it was, from her, from Lynn.

_ _

She smelled of clary sage, halfway between sweet and savory, part fruity and part musky. Eli leaned in, touched his nose to her neck, breathed gently in. This was it, he realized. This was what he'd spent so much time looking for, what he'd wanted for so long.

_ _

If it meant inconveniencing another person, though, Eli had never been able to say no. Greg knew that: that was why he kept bringing his girlfriend over, since Eli's mom worked late. Ella knew that: that was why she stashed her weed at his house, and why she swiped the spare key from the drawer by the fridge. Xander knew that: that was why he pawned Eli's favorite Guitar Hero controller when he'd left it with him over summer break.

_ _

Marlin knew that. That was why he asked, and that was why Eli said yes. Want something for so long, and eventually it stops becoming an active want, and instead a knowledge that it must be wanted. It becomes mechanical and automatic. Six years, and Eli always thought he wanted Marlin.

_ _

Now, he wanted something else, someone else. A want, a need, that had sprouted in his heart and quietly, gradually grown over the weeks, tickling at the edges of his knowledge until, suddenly, he was aware of it. This strange, pulsing, blooming warmth, this enjoyment, this sweet softness, this...

_ _

This love. That was what it was. Six years, and only now he realized what 'love' really felt like. And that was what that look said, too - not Marlin's, but Lynn's when she awoke beside him in the morning. Lynn's when she brushed his footpaws with hers beneath the table at a restaurant. Lynn's when she sprawled across him on the couch at her brother's house. Lynn's when she held his paws and touched her nose to his whenever he had to go home after the weekend.

_ _

Now Eli lay in his bed, alone, at the house that in a handful of weeks would no longer be his.

And Lynn was gone from his grasp, by his own doing.