Lose a Head, Get Some Head (October R34 Story Teaser)
#88 of Patreon
Baine Bloodhoof and Chen Stormstout meet together to defeat the Headless Horseman, but the warriors have more things in mind!
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"Lose a Head, Get some Head"
The sky was ominous overhead; swirling clouds seemed to go out of their way to avoid the looming full moon overhead. The silver glow casting an eerie light over the gravestones of the Scarlet Monastery graveyard, the occasional flicker of lightning adding a shine to the granite and even reflecting off the wrought iron fencing separating the stones from the main walkway. Chen swallowed the dry lump in his throat as he moved past the main doorway into the courtyard. He scratched his belly idly as he examined the environment. Fittingly creepy, decorated with jack 'o lanterns that added an extra layer of lighting to unsettle the atmosphere even further.
"Baine? Are you here?" He asked, speaking just above a whisper as his scratching moved from his stomach to behind his ear as he extracted the parchment from his pocket to read it once more.
"Chen Stormstout, please meet me in the Scarlet Monastery graveyard on the night of Hallow's End. There is a creature we must slay, and I will need your help in defeating him.
-Baine Bloodhoof"
He folded the note and put it back in his pocket. "What is this creature you speak of? Is it dangerous?" He asked as he walked further toward the center.
"Very." A deep, booming voice came from behind Chen, who started and wheeled around.
A dark shadow had risen from the graves he'd walked past, as if the figure hadn't been there before, though as the light caught the features, Chen recognized the tauren and gave a deep sigh of relief. "Baine... whew, you nearly gave me a heart attack. You know better than to sneak up on a Pandaren don't you?"
The slightest hint of a smirk crossed the bull's face as he let out a knowing snort. "Very well, then how should I approach one?"
Chen brushed the obvious forwardness with a soft clearing of his throat, and averted the subject. "So... what are we to face? Your messenger said you sent it with an urgency.
Baine's eyes shifted toward the large tower above the cathedral which was only one tick away from midnight. "You will see..." He said. "This spirit has tormented many on each Hallow's End, he rises from his grave every night to raze the cities of the Horde and of the Alliance. We must defeat him tonight to keep his return from happening yet again." He made his way through a small growth of brush to a torn down tomb and placed his hand on the stone erected before it. The stone began to radiate a greenish aura. "Horseman Rise..." He spoke, his words echoed for a moment, then when a soft crackle in the air, his speech continued as if the two were locked in a tight room. "Your time is nigh..." A booming crack of thunder made the fur on Chen's neck stand on end as the area picked up a fiery orange light. "You felt death once...now know demise."
Suddenly, a bolt of lightning shot straight out of the sky, Chen reeled back as the blinding light came down and struck the ground almost immediately in front of him, throwing him back. Baine turned to him. "Chen!" He exclaimed as the bear grunted and reclined up again.
To his alarm, Chen saw a strange sight, a massive pile of rubble forming at Baine's feet and rising up out of the ground. "Baine! Look out!" He shouted.
Baine turned just as a second bolt of lightning streaked across the area in front of him before slamming down into the stones, pushing him back as he let out a cry of anguish and a pair of horse legs followed the stun up with a kick. Baine still didn't fly to the ground, but he did fall to his knee, holding his chest as a chorus of laughter echoed through the night.
"Again I rise, tauren! You cannot stop me. You cannot stop my destruction, now I will watch you flee!" The ghostly horseman burst through the rubble atop his mount and took to flight as Chen watched with his mouth hanging open.
"Well, there's something you don't see every day."
Baine grunted as he stood up. "You get used to it." He said as he rose again. Clutching the hilt of his hammer, there was a flash of light. "Now let's see if we can bring him down to our level!" He drew his weapon and suddenly hurled it into the air.
Chen could hear the weapon whirling through the air as though a lit torch had been thrown, but with a loud clang against the Horseman's armor, a ringing sound shot out through the graveyard, hurting his ears. He uncovered them to hear the horseman screaming as he dropped to the earth, hitting it with a loud thud. To his horror, the man's skull suddenly detatched and began to spin around wildly, spewing fire like a goblin's flame thrower around in circles. Baine put his arms up as a reflex, only to growl as it burned him. "Chen!" Baine bellowed.
In a flash, Chen was on his feet and rushing at the skull. Pulling a flask from his belt he roared. "Hey, ugly!" as he hurled it toward the flame. The skull turned on instinct, despite the Horseman's disembodied voice shouting "Don't, you idiot!" The flames pierced the skin flask and immolated the contents within, causing a fiery explosion that threw the head backwards. As the Horseman's body rose, Chen threw his shoulder into the torso, knocking him away.
"Keep the body busy." Baine said. "I will dispatch the head."
"Soldiers rise, or else I face my demise!" The Horseman pleaded as he placed his palm to the ground under him and vines shot across the ground. "AHHH!" He shouted in pained rage as Chen's staff slamed down on his hand.
"We are here to stop you!" He said as the Horseman got to his feet, the emptiness of having no gaze was unsettling to say the least, but Chen positioned his staff and raised his paw in a defensive posture. "Whatever this unholiness is, I will see it stopped."
"Such an ambitious plan, for such a lazy Pandaren." Horseman quipped. "But tell me, is it vision you lack, by not looking behind your back?"
Motion alerted Chen just in time as he brought his staff behind him, striking it through the head of a living pumpkin; thinking quickly he lifted it into the air and swung it left to right, knocking the half-dozen others that had risen upon the Horseman's summoning once knocked away he attacked the torso before it could summon more.
Baine swept his weapon through the air at the skull that seemed to mock him and cackle of its own accord as it swerved and dodged most of the tauren's swipes. With each swing, he growled with more fury, still it cackled more. The bull turned his head and saw that Chen was having trouble with multiple squashlings now holding him back as the Horseman's body rose and drew his dark blade. Thinking quickly, Baine turned his eyes back to the skull; "Cackle madly if you must, but if you slow down, you turn to dust."
In a moment of confusion, the skull froze and stared at him. Baine seized the opportunity and in a flash, raised his hammer above his head and drove it down hard, connecting with the Horseman's own and smashing it into the ground. It let out a loud screech as it was slammed flat into the earth, instantly disintegrating. Chen felt it immediately as the squashlings instantly relented their grip at once and all vanished, the Horseman's body falling to the ground with a limp thud as it too evaporated into dust.
The two of them stood looking at each other, breathing heavily for a few moments before Chen finally spoke up. "So... is this a common thing for you to go chasing after ghosts?"
"At least once a year." Baine shrugged. "Eventually we will find a way to stop the Horseman from returning from the grave."
Chen chuckled a bit and approached Baine, noting the burns on the tauren's forearms. "Now, let's see... I am not very well gifted in mist weaving, but I do recall a few lessons, give me your hands."
Baine extended his arms out and Chen grasped the bull's wrists with his paws, closing his eyes a cool mist almost immediately began to wash over them, it flickered a brilliant blue light and water began to crawl up Baine's arms, soothing them and healing them as it bubbled from his wrists to his elbows. Chen could hear Baine let out a soft sigh of relief, and before either of them realized it, the pain was gone and the spell had vanished. The two were standing toe-to-toe, stomach to stomach it took Chen a moment to break away. "Well... there you go." He said. "All better."
"I knew I could count on you." Baine said. "Normally Theron and I clean up this mess, with him in Silvermoon unable to come with me, I knew I needed someone I could trust."
Chen smiled. "Anytime."