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The next few days were difficult.

At first I was sensitive and grouchy, helped in part by the roaring hangover I sustained after the terrible sex I'd had with Cam and Tristan in the forest. I was feeling myself dissociate. Tristan still had my phone, I wanted him to keep it unless Scott replied because I knew I'd be spiraling every time I checked it, which I would've frequently. But that meant I was out of the loop, I'd lost my habit of browsing news and social networks that helped me feel at least a little tapped into the world beyond my lodge.

I was in my own head, and my thoughts were gnawing at me.

But by the next day I was feeling a little brighter. It was awkward and it was difficult, but Cam and Tristan both seemed to appreciate the effort I was making for their learning. Their course was still basically useless, but it would help them get familiar with the sort of work they'd be doing in the winter and I wanted them to think a little better of me when I'd be acting as a foreman in proper during the logging season.

And the day after again, I felt more stable and able to make smarter decisions than I had in a long time. I poured what was left of my small stash of gin down the drain. I still had other booze but gin had become my crutch and I felt I could handle the rest just fine.

I only wished I could say I managed to convince myself of that without any outside help, that all that improvement had come from within. It was still my decision, but I couldn't have done it without Tristan.

After what happened in the forest a few days ago, I really was convinced I'd never mess around with Tristan or Cam again.

I'd managed to hold off on being tempted by Tristan for the most part. I didn't want to do more with either of them, but I gave in at least twice... a day. They were moments of weakness. It was far too easy to get hard and get off when Tristan was happy to help with that. But twice a day wasn't that bad for me at least. My sexual desires were voracious and this was the first time I'd been able to fuck in a year. It helped improve my mood and it could've been a lot more frequent. A lot more demanding. I was trying to stay in control of myself and make better decisions. Mostly I was succeeding, I think.

Compared to how I used to be at least.

It was difficult for me. But I think it was progress.

I was feeling really isolated without my phone. Which made me crave some kind of affection. Which usually got me horny and Tristan just did it all. Hugs, kisses, quickies. Way different to Scott, in a good way this time. I welcomed its newness. I was glad I'd finally gotten over that hurdle and learned to separate it from things I'd done with Scott.

With all that said.

It still fucking hurt like a hole in my heart that Scott hadn't replied to my message. I felt betrayed, but even I realized there was nothing he'd agreed to. He hadn't betrayed me by not replying, but it felt that way. And that was rough because it really started spelling out for me just how badly I'd taken him for granted. Maybe I should be thinking about an apology to him for all of that. But that seemed too dangerous a thought for me right now. Once I felt stronger and understood that better I could try.

But already, I was starting to feel like life would go on. I didn't like that it could mean I'd be alone forever, but the more time passed the better I'd feel about that.

Tonight I'd made dinner for Cam, Tristan and myself. Just minute steaks and vegetables, something easy and cheap because I couldn't cope with the idea of doing more. But I did love cooking, and I wanted to do something special for them soon since they'd be leaving in a few days.

As we finished eating, Cam cleared his throat.

"Rob, I'm really sorry," he said.

Almost immediately, embarrassment heated my chest. "What for?" I asked, though I knew what was coming. Frankly, I didn't need this, I just wanted to forget that moment.

"That first night, erm and what happened on that walk." He grimaced. "I'm no good at uh, like, sex things. Makes me nervous, like, yeah..."

Tristan's eyes were on me, curious how I'd react. "Don't worry about it." I waved him off, wanting him to shut up more than anything.

"Naw... Like, I get it enough to know I think I did stuff wrong." He rubbed at his face. "I'm kinda ashamed about it."

I squinted at him, nodding. I needed a moment to think of my response. It took a lot more willpower than I knew I had to disguise the residual frustration from those moments. "You need experience to become experienced, it's ok. Everyone's first time is usually pretty awkward."

"Not really my first," he mumbled. I nodded slowly, fuck, whoops. "Not done much, but yeah..."

I wasn't sure what to say, but Tristan piped up. "That's alright dude."

Cam stared at his friend, lips twitching like he wanted to say something. He sighed. "This is getting more'n'more awkward so I'll shut up, just, sorry." He hung his head.

Though he was the source of so much frustration, he was still my friend's son. I already had a small mentoring relationship with him prior to him coming to stay this week. "I'm too needy actually. And I get way too horny and it makes people uncomfortable. So, that's part of it too. I think I pressured you into doing things you probably didn't want to do." I rubbed at the back of my neck. "So I'm sorry that you feel this way now, but it's not all your fault."

"Right." Cam nodded.

"And I'm trying to do better, trying not to be that way." I glanced at the floor. "Uh, that's actually why Scott left me too. You'd think I would've learned." My heart was pounding, it was my turn to be ashamed. "But we all learn at our own speeds, I guess. I think I'm slow."

"Same." Cam shook his head. "Enough of that, anyways." He looked up at me. "I hate feeling awkward."

"Mmm." I sighed. None of this was good and airing that component of why Scott had left me was no longer something I was comfortable with them knowing. I wanted to take that back, wanted to never think about it again.

I might've lapsed into a state of budding sadness and regret, but Tristan tilted his head towards me. "Have you got any rope Rob?"

"Uh, lots, why?" We used rope for so many things during logging season, I always had plenty on hand.

"Cool, go get it and take your clothes off." Tristan grinned at me.

I opened my mouth, about to speak but a little too surprised to do so immediately. "Sure," I said after a moment. Lust warmed my loins. I wasn't too sure what he had in mind but damn, yeah, I'd go along with it.

I kept my rope out back in a tool shed. It felt a bit unnecessary to bring a full length of it, but there was plenty of arm length scrap that could be used for anything reasonable. I grabbed a fair amount of scrap and made my way back inside. Cam had started clearing the plates already.

"This enough?" I asked.

"Perfect." Tristan tugged the rope out of my grasp. "Now, strip off."

I chuckled, rubbing a fat hand over my crotch. I liked this. This was great.

I dropped my pants and stepped out of them then yanked off my shirt, letting it fall to the ground. Tristan leant over and tickled my semi through my underwear. I gave a weak grunt and pulled the last of my clothes off.

The lion's eyes were on my chest, he drummed his fingers on my belly. "You're sexy, you know? Took me a little getting used to, but damn." He smiled and glanced up to meet my eyes.

Fuck that meant so much more to me than I expected it would. I was over the moon as he escorted me to my own bed.

"Lay down, spread yourself out." There was a hard edge in his voice I hadn't heard before. I gladly obliged.

"Ever tried bondage?" Tristan fiddled with the rope, somehow this was unsurprising to me. That the slut with loose lips was kinkier than he'd let on.

"Nope." I eyed the rope cautiously.

"You wanted to control yourself right?" He asked, hand on my belly as he stared into my eyes. I nodded slowly. "Restraint's a good way to try it. And you're such a little bitch I think you'll like this." He looped the rope around my hand and knotted it tight, then tied it to my bed post. I grinned at him as he bound my other wrist. He left enough slack that I could keep my arms down at a comfortable level but I had very little room to move them.

"I like where this is going." I licked my lips.

"Good." He moved down and started tying up my ankles, which I didn't expect but it wasn't unwelcome. "Do you want a safe word or something?"

I furrowed my brow in thought. "Nah."

"Cool, cuz you're staying like this until morning."

"Oh." I squinted at him, wish I knew that before he'd bound me. "That's a bit..."

Tristan chuckled, standing up to unclasp his belt and kick his pants off. "You're going to like it in the end."

He was wearing red briefs tonight, the front of which were stained with a wet patch of pre and strained against the tight bulge of his erection. He climbed over me and shoved it in my face, grinding himself against my nose. He smelled stronger tonight, more masculine, more like him. I growled as I sniffed in his scent and licked at his salty precum through the fabric. I wanted to tear his underwear off and have him fuck my face like he had a few days ago, but straining against the ropes tying my wrists quickly became frustrating. He laughed as he watched me try, and pressed his bulge deeper into my muzzle.

I forced my tongue under the side of his underwear, it rubbed between his balls and the underside of his cock. He moaned as I swiped at the sensitive skin and directly lapped up his salty pre.

I wanted more, but he pulled back out of my mouth. I lurched forward to follow him, but the rope didn't let me get very far.

Stretching my tongue I could barely tease his tip.

He laughed down at me, watching me struggle.

I glared at him.

"You really want it?" he asked, toying with the wasitband of his underwear. "Hmm?" He inched forward the tiniest bit so I could kiss the top of his cock. I nodded, too busy making out with the front of his briefs to speak. He leant in a little more.

I pinched his underwear between my teeth and jerked my head back, trying to force him free. His waistband stretched, but the fabric didn't release his cock.

He chuckled, cupping my cheek with his hand. "Good try." He smiled. I bared my teeth, I just wanted his dick in my mouth. That's all. And fuck it was frustrating to be teased like this when I was the one who wanted to please him.

But then his hand withdrew to his waist and he slipped his underwear down. His cock sprung out, though he kept it just out of reach.

"Tongue out," he said. I poked it out for him. He held his dick over my tongue and squeezed a drop of precum onto it. I made a warm sound though I wanted more.

He pressed his cock down onto my tongue and spread that precum with himself. I rolled my tongue across his head and he grunted. I opened my mouth to take him deeper, but he got up off of my chest.

He removed his underwear and draped it over my nose, smiling at me the whole time. I could only glare. I didn't like being teased. He squeezed my nipples on his way south. I grunted and struggled against the rope as he kept squeezing. It started to become painful. I growled, he tightened his grip until I shouted out. His hands lifted away, the pain subsided. I was panting, teeth bared. He slapped his hand on my belly and trailed it down towards my fully erect cock.

He pressed a pawpad against the tip of my dick. I could feel the frustration lurking in my chest. He was going to keep teasing me and there was fuck all I could do about it but yell at him, which I was about to.

But something heavy dropped on top of me from out of my field of view.

Cam landed by my side as he jumped onto the bed, completely naked. He had an awkward smile on his face as he put a hand on my sternum.

"Can I do whatever too?" he asked me, I could hear how nervous he sounded.

I moaned as an answer, because Tristan licked my cock all of a sudden.

Cam must've read that as a yes because he leant over me and placed his lips against mine. He gave me the briefest peck.

"Forgot we already, uh, did that." He giggled anxiously. I could've screamed.

I stared him in the eyes and gave him the heftiest sigh I could manage. "Go further, do whatever the hell you want cuz I'm not fighting back." I strained against the rope to help demonstrate the point.

He tilted his head, then went in for a proper kiss, tongue and all, though it didn't last long.

The fox retreated, breathing heavy. "You taste like Trist," Cam said.

"So you know what he tastes like then?" I raised a brow.

A grin split his lips. "Sorta."

"Makes sen-"

He cut me off by diving in for another kiss. He rubbed his tongue against mine, his chest pressed against my shoulder and I could feel his heart racing. I wanted to place a hand on his rump, squeeze his firm ass as we made out. Finger him, have him moan into me.

Instead I moaned into him as Tristan squeezed the base of my cock, causing another drop of precum to leak out.

Tristan started jerking me off, very very slowly. I leant back from Cam, stretching against the rope as pleasure spread through my chest. This was hot. I was more into it than I figured I'd be. Both of them had full range of me and I could only take whatever they'd give me. I wanted more, but with Cam on my face I couldn't voice it.

But the fox pulled back, smiling widely as he knelt beside me. His huge cock was inches from my face and I was straining to lick it. He put a hand on my cheek, all tense and nervous. "Can you like..."

"You don't need to ask me man. I need it." I stretched my jaw, tongue out and pleading.

It took a moment, but he lifted his hips.

Ever since that first night I'd been curious what he'd taste like. His father was the first cock I sucked that wasn't Scott's. But Cam was bigger than his father.

And as his cock rubbed against my tongue, I knew he tasted better too. Stronger, more appealing. He moaned wildly as I started lapping at his cock and forced my way down as far as my ropes would let me.

I wanted him to breed my face, but I doubted he'd last that long. Maybe I was just that thirsty for him, but finally getting to go down on him made me thankful for the opportunity. He was as sensitive as ever. He leant over my head, weakly pressing himself further into my mouth. He made quiet sounds, grunts and groans as little spurts of precum coated my tongue.

Pleasure radiated through my belly as I felt Tristan lick the base of my dick. I tensed, as he gently ran his way up my shaft. He flicked his tongue over my tip. I jolted, gasping as the pleasure spiked. I felt his warm breath against the head of my cock, and I was shaking as I braced for him to start sucking me. But it never came. I couldn't see him with Cam in the way, but I knew that fucker was poised with his jaws stretched around me. I thrust my hips, but barely made any contact.

Cam's dick hit the back of my mouth. I grunted, squeezing fists as he started pushing in a little further. His hands grabbed my ears, he was trembling and moaning as I gulped on his cock.

Between my legs, I felt Tristan shift. He pressed his nose against my balls and started licking them. I winced, frustrated he hadn't indulged the pleasure he'd lit within me.

Cam started really leaning against me, the weight of his body fell against my shoulders and he cock pressed harder into my throat. I hacked, scrunching my face up as he jerked back to correct himself. Then he gasped and exhaled heavy. A spurt of cum hit the back of my tongue and started filling my mouth. I gulped it down as more and more kept coming. He bathed my tongue in his salty seed, then fell backwards against the bed, panting.

I wasn't too surprised. Part of me had expected him to climax quickly, but damn, it took a few swallows to get all of it out of my mouth. If I could, I would've rubbed his belly in appreciation. I needed a moment to catch my own breath, but I'd enjoyed that.

Once steady, I narrowed my gaze on the slut between my legs. "You falling asleep down there?"

Tristan raised his head, his mane tickled my thighs and sent a shiver up my spine. "Dunno. Are you actually ready?"

"Of co-" I grunted, warmth surged through my body as the lion licked at my cock suddenly. I growled, edging it out. Fuck, I needed him to go further. "Just do it."

"I will." He sounded coy. Fuck. I jabbed my hips towards him. He raised an eyebrow, bemused more than anything. He planted a delicate kiss on my shaft. I groaned, fuck me. I needed him to do something, but he just wasn't.

He planted dozens on kisses on my cock, my balls and my thighs. Each made me tense harder against the ropes that bound me. Made me more and more aggravated.

Then he stood up, tail raised and swishing behind him. I growled at him, knowing exactly what he was about to do. There were so many other things I wished he'd do instead, but I had no choice but to take it.

"Get the fuck back down there." I glared at him. "Suck my cock right now slut."

He cracked a smile, fangs bared. "No." He squatted over my cock, the fluffy tip of his tail brushed against my thigh. I really wasn't a top, but this was what he wanted and I was powerless to stop it.

I didn't realize just how much pre was on my cock until Tristan pressed it against his hole. He guided me into him with a steady hand. I writhed against the rope, moaning as I felt my tip press in. Unsurprisingly, he knew how to take a cock. He wasn't loose but he wasn't tight either and the lower he got on me, the more pleasure warmed my belly. I couldn't keep my head still. Every tiny movement sent a new wave of joy through me. He felt so good, enough I wanted to rip my hands free and hold him in place while I fucked him myself. I yanked at the rope to no avail, thrashing as I moaned. My eyes were shut, my face scrunched up as I struggled to edge it out.

Then I felt his thighs against my chest, his full weight on my pelvis as he took me to the hilt. His mouth was open, an eager look on his face as he stared down on me. He barely gave me a moment to catch my breath before he started easing up on me, which quickly turned to him wriggling back down. I was whining, my growls lost their substance. Frustration was gone from within me, replaced solely by the bliss of the moment.

Tristan bounced in my lap, my face twisted with pleasure. He was grunting with every rise and fall on my cock, and though I wasn't much of a top, he felt way too good for me to keep up. All that teasing had made me sensitive and I was contorting in my bonds. He was tight around my cock, so warm and he thrust himself on me with an unrelenting pace.

Instinct demanded I started thrusting back into him. I wished I could pin him under my weight and fuck him, but slamming my hips back against his ass was the best I could do. I shouted as Cam teased my nipple, the fox had sat up beside me and now watched as Tristan rode me, his hands drifting over my torso and feeling me up.

It felt so good I could hardly think, could hardly breathe. All I was capable of was plowing the lion that had mounted me, and even that was becoming increasingly harder. I'd been gasping breaths for so long I was starting to get lightheaded. My entire body was gripped in the throes of pleasure, a hold which grew tighter with every thrust. I groaned loud, losing myself in it. It was too much, couldn't handle this.

Release hit so hard I nearly passed out. My orgasm erupted through my body. My cock gave two stiff jerks and spurted cum deep inside Tristan. Pins and needles coursed through my extremities as I rode it out, pleasure swept me away. And then panting, I kept thrusting, for it was all I understood in that moment. And slowly sense returned to me, my eyes refocusing as I took deeper breaths. My hips stilled, and Tristan sat against me, breathing heavy himself. He started jacking himself, his hand a blur as he trembled and moaned. It didn't take him long. I felt him clench around me as cum jetted from his cock and splattered across my belly. He hung his head, breathing even harder for a moment.

"Fuck," I said. It was all I could think of. Cam snickered.

It took a long moment before either of us were able to function. Tristan stood up, my cum dripped down his thigh. He paid it no mind and crawled up beside me. He lay in the crook of my arm, smiling.

"Told you you'd like it." He was out of breath.

"Mmm." I was exhausted, my thoughts in disarray. I yawned, growing increasingly relaxed despite tied to my bedposts.

Cam reached a finger out to my belly and touched a drop of Tristan's cum before tasting his finger. He tilted his head a bit, smacking his lips. "Not the worst thing in the world," he mumbled.

Tristan chuckled.

I did too.

Cam's inexperience no longer seemed so daunting to me if he was willing to get involved. Tristan had been right about him, I should just let him do whatever, he'd be more comfortable without the pressure. And as if to prove my point, he looked over to Tristan nuzzling into my side and without a moment's hesitation, did the same. Though I couldn't properly hug the both of them with my arms tied, I appreciated this a great deal.

"Thank you," I said. "Both of you."

"Happy to." Tristan kissed me on the cheek.

"Yeah. Thanks." Cam added.

I wasn't capable of much else. That had wiped me, and they were pretty tired too.

They each slept against one of my arms, Tristan went a bit further by reaching an arm over my chest and nuzzling his face against my neck. It was comforting and I was pleased. I hadn't been prepared for this at all, but I was glad it happened. Tristan was right. I did like it in the end. And maybe I was a bit frustrated in the moment from all the teasing, but that was part of the pleasure. Fuck me, I'd even blown a load in another guy's ass for the first time in years. It wasn't bad at all. I should do that more actually. It was something I stopped doing with Scott because I didn't like it as much as other things, but I knew Scott wanted it even if he didn't mention it much.

That realization was bittersweet. I'd probably never get a chance to try that with him again. I shouldn't think about him. I had two attractive young men sleeping with me tonight. I shouldn't complain, things could be a whole lot worse.

When morning came, I somewhat expected more but Tristan was drained and Cam was, well, Cam. Nervous and excited yet distant all at once. They undid the ropes and I got up to make us all eggs and toast for breakfast. We didn't really speak much about what had happened last night, didn't feel like we had to. And I liked that. The day felt shockingly normal as I led them through the safety steps involved in logging tall trees.

Just being able to speak confidently about something helped lift my mood further. I could get used to this.

Then evening hit and we returned to my lodge. We'd eaten and there was this suggestion that the three of us would fuck around some more. I was waiting on my bed, staring at the ceiling and enjoying this quiet bliss for now.

Then footsteps pounded down the hall, Tristan threw open the door to my bedroom.

"For you," he said and tossed me my phone. I jerked my head up and snatched it from where it had fallen in my sheets.

As I lit up the screen, my heart stumbled and started pounding. Scott had replied.

And I felt sick with worry as I opened the message.

Rob, I really didn't expect a message from you. Haven't been waiting for one, haven't been hoping for one.

Upon reading those words if I could've stopped my own heart, I would've. But there was more. I kept reading, stomach in my throat.

_But I'm glad you sent it. I was pissed when I got it. Thought it was the worst thing in the world to wake up to, having to think about you again. Was fuming for an hour, but whatever. Think I never dealt with the fact we'd actually broken up for real.

You're right, it's been a year and I think I've spent most of it feeling like we were having another pause instead.

Things have been strange for me. Not used to being alone. Don't even know how to meet people, don't know how to date. Been with a few guys since we parted, but I don't get it. They lost interest and split off from me. There were times I almost texted you thinking I was about to have another meltdown._

You've been on my mind ever since I got your text. I gave you a hard rap when I broke up with you but you never really got the same level of appreciation for the good parts of what we had. So I think I fucked you around a bit there without realizing. This year's really made me think about the things I appreciated. It's been good I've had time to myself, which was what I wanted.

What I didn't want was to realize my income alone meant living a lot more carefully than I had with you. Or that never learning how to cook would suck so much. Or that some of our friends would pick sides. Or that I'm actually kind of grumpy and unenjoyable to be around when I'm single and frustrated. I blamed you for all of those things at first. Thought you were the reason I wasn't ready for any of it, but that's stupid. I was just being bitter.

And I was bitter this entire year until you sent me that message. You've never really been one to apologize, but you tried. You're changing, aren't you? I've been changing too. Only I feel worse for it.

I feel more closed off than ever before. Maybe that made it easier to stay bitter at you. Feel like your messages woke me up from something. I don't want to be bitter at you. I don't want to be bitter at all.

Can we catch up? In person? I feel like a jackass sending messages like this. It's what all the guys I've tried to date do and I hate it. You understand me Rob, better than anyone. I was stupid for shoving you away how I did. I hope it hasn't hurt too bad. I hope you're doing okay.

I've been working on this message all day. Afraid to even send it, but I'm going to because I'm still thinking about you. I think the hardest part of this message is right here. I don't know how to sign it off. I've written "Love, Scott" so many times and it feels like playing with fire. Like I never learned, but nothing else feels right. So that's what you're getting. Guess it's the truth. Guess we've spent so long with each other nothing else applies.

Just don't get the wrong idea.

Love, Scott.

I fell back against my bed.

My paws were shaking. Tears were streaming down my face.

There was so much hope to be drawn from a response like that. So much. I wanted to reply immediately. Needed to. I didn't even know what to say. My chest was heaving just trying to get enough oxygen to my brain. Lightheaded and ecstatic I couldn't think straight. Couldn't wait either.

I started typing, heart aglow.