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The Story of Shenzi

Shenzi - the hyena we love to hate. After the unprecedented success of The Lion King, this relatively unknown hyena was shot into superstar status overnight. Demand for interviews and celebrity appearances poured in and in 1994 and 1995 she was everywhere. Rumors of sordid affairs with other A-list actors began to circulate as such things often do, but through it all Shenzi remained coy and unperturbed. With future sequels in the works, the future looked bright for the breakout star who has never looked better than when in the spotlight.

Soon she had endorsement deals from major cosmetics concerns. She started her own clothing line, specializing in lingerie and sexy swimwear. But Shenzi was no shrinking violet! During her first showing in Paris, she not only took to the catwalk herself, but wore what most observers deem the single most risque outfit ever to grace the fashion scene. The spectacle also quelled rumors of plastic surgery for the voluptuous hyena, as there was so little remaining out of sight that even experts in the field could find no trace of any non-natural curves. In fact, the show has had a ripple effect on fashion itself as the more Rubinesque models remain in high demand, leaving some to wonder if the anorexic silhouettes of yesteryear will ever return.

The entire line, though certainly wearable for all races and body types, proved especially appealing to those with tails as it effectively eliminated the awkward and often chafing vents and holes required. It was widely acknowledged to be a bold and daring innovation in women (and men's) fashion by terminating the g-string not in a loop around the back, tail or waist, but instead in an insertable self-lubricating plug that effectively becomes invisible. Some versions even include a vibrating feature which makes the whole outfit even more original and a delight to wear for those so inclined.

But alas, the public reception of the subsequent sequels was less than stellar. Direct-to-video is a term dreaded by the Hollywood elite, and Shenzi was not unaffected. Her star was on the wane. Eventually the franchise was reduced to a Saturday morning kids show, and though Shenzi herself soldiered on and tried to maintain an air of acceptance, it soon became clear that the fame she had enjoyed was fleeting. By the turn of the century, the home in Malibu was sold, the game show circuit had been exhausted and even the patent on the still-popular Shenzi Plug was sold. The high-life began to crash around her. Although hard drugs had never been a problem for her, Shenzi was arrested for public drunkeness and indecent exposure on more than one occasion as her life seemingly was spiraling out of control.

But this story does not end there, for amazingly she still held the patent on the virtually indestructible monofilament line that held her high-tension bikinis and slings together. In an unexpected and fortuitous turn of events, a researcher at the Los Alamos lab happened to be examining his girlfriend's Shenzi-suit at close quarters and noticed that the thin string had some very unusual properties. The more he examined it, the more excited he became - yet not in the way the outfit was designed to elicit excitement! Anecdotally it is said the researcher begged his girlfriend to let him take the lingerie into his lab for research purposes, a claim she vehemently disbelieved at first. But eventually she was persuaded to yield, and the subsequent events made history.

As everyone knows by now, the Shenzi-string turned out to have all the properties required for the long-dreamt-of monofilament line that has made the Space Elevator possible. These days we take space travel as a given, but back in the early 2000s the Elevator was still only a dream. The best minds in chemistry and physics had been unable to create the missing link needed to make this more than a mind exercise for science fiction writers. Little did they know that it had already been invented by a once-great actress and fashion designer as a simple means to keep a slingshot bikini as delicate and yet as reliable as possible.

Shenzi, of course, is now known as the richest person on the planet, with the proceeds from her patent coming in daily from all parts of the globe. Thousands travel up and down her Shenzi-strings daily. With her wealth, she has been both generous and wise. Her charitable giving is the stuff of legend, and yet she still can be seen designing, modeling and wearing her own line of sexy clothing, which at this point she clearly does simply for the thrill of it. In a recent exclusive interview, she was asked if she still used Shenzi-string in her bikinis.

"Hell no!" she said with a wry, knowing smile. "You know, that was the worst mistake I ever made. The damn things never break! And where's the fun in that?"