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And so, I'd listened to a drunken friend trust me with his life, which I'd unintentionally gambled away stealing $117,000 dollars from bullies who'd somewhere along the line degenerated into monsters. I'd started a relationship with his sister, partly out of the spark of a longstanding friendship, and partly as cover for the murders everything else had compelled me to commit. And in the end, what had it all been for? To buy a machine to save my brother's garage, and maybe find a place for myself in his business and his regard. Would I have traded Chip's life for all that? No. Not then, and not ever, had I known. But I didn't. And so I had to make the best of a bad trade.

The biggest consolation after all that was watching whatever it was eating at Ryan loosen its grip on him in the days and weeks that followed, and let him ease back down from his binge.

As long as I live, I'll never forget the day we had that repaired police car back up on the hook, driving it back to Mitch.

"Wanna have a look at them new cruisers he's got," Ryan said. "See what it is we're gonna be up against in a few months."

I smiled. I reckoned it was his way of acknowledging, in his own small way, that maybe I did know something after all.

But then he went a step further, and he said it right out loud. "I never saw a way through to it. But you did. I'm proud of you, Nicky." He didn't up and say I was actually a partner in his garage. But I heard it all the same when he smiled and said, "What's next?"

* * * * *

Still, I lived moment to moment for a long time afterward, terrified I'd see pointing fingers, paws guarding whispering mouths. Figured everyone would know, just flat out know, it was me. Like they could smell it on me. See it in my face.

But no one ever did. They were all interested in the story, of course. There was a lot of talk about just desserts, and good riddance to bad rubbish, and the righteous judgement of the Lord and Lady. All that kind of thing, as long as none of the dead boys' kin was in earshot. But no one once looked at me funny, or turned their head sideways at me. I was just another one of them. Faintly interested, perplexed, huh, ain't that a thing...

The funerals that followed gutted me, even though I would have happily pissed into each and every of their open graves if I'd been standing there alone. But I wasn't. I had to look into the faces of crying mothers and wives and cubs... Stoic fathers who blamed themselves and wondered where they'd gone wrong. And that made me want to crawl into those graves and let them cover me up too. But somehow, I got through it. Somehow I got through it all.

They haunted me in fever dreams. Shark, Billy, even Chip came up before me, coming after me, accusing me. But as often as not I had Anne Marie beside me as a soothing, reassuring presence as we increasingly split time between her place and mine. Not to say I wasn't keeping up appearances as the good ol' Mango everyone knew... Dropping in on Laurie Flashready one evening when John was on shift, for instance... only to find out when he came home a little early that he was fine with co-stars in the bedroom; just fine. Lights, camera, action...

And then a month went by and I started daring to believe actually I'd get away with it. Starting sleeping through the night. Starting letting myself really enjoy my time with Anne Marie. I even let myself start thinking about what might come next. I couldn't believe how easy it had been, ultimately, and just how normal life actually was afterward. It didn't seem fair. Didn't seem right. Where were the bolts of lightning? Not a cloud in the sky. Just that unrelenting Oxbows sun shining bright as we headed toward Blessharvest. The whole town seemed glad, like some dark threat had lifted.

Toxic was with me the day when a couple of squad cars finally came up to the garage.

I remember looking up from the body work I was doing and seeing them coming up the road. I didn't say a thing. Tox could see it in my face. "No point in runnin', I reckon," he told me. "Guess this is it. Whatever happens, I'll be right there with you."

"Thanks, Tox," I said. I swallowed but nothing made it down my parched throat.

Mitch got out of one car while Cal Freshshadow hung back in the other. Maybe he wanted this to go down easy. Figured I wouldn't put up a fight. Not with him. He had me exact. Maybe he'd even spare me the cuffs. I was just glad Ryan wasn't there. And I was glad it was Mitch. Not Sandy.

"Mornin', Mango," Mitch said.

"Howdy, Mitch. What brings you out here?"

"Got business with you," he said.

I sighed. Tried not to shake. "And what would that be?"

"Like you and Ry to do what you can to get that car in best condition. The auctions start soon. I'd like top dollar for the fleet. Them new ones, they wasn't cheap."

I nearly dropped into the sand. Tox managed to keep his composure too. "We're right pleased to do that for you," I said.

"You understand I gotta spread the work around a little," he said. "Wouldn't pay to play favourites. But, uh, between you and me, I'll bring you all the work I can." He smiled. "You're first out of the gate with that new fangled whatzit of yours, so we'll be bringing you the new ones. All the work you can handle till some other pup gets up off his ass and buys one, at least."

"That's fine news, Mitch. I... It'll be just the thing to really lift Ryan outta his funk."

"Well, that'd be a mighty fine result," Mtich nodded.

"You and Cal feel like a quick beer?" I offered.

"Mmnahhh, thank you kindly all the same, but me and him better get back. Left Sandy in charge, and I feel comfortable with her sittin' in my chair only so long. 'Sides, she needs tendin' to. She's still workin' this Chip murder-lab explosion case pretty hard."

Tox's smile faded a little and I felt my blood up in my ears again.

"I thought it was more or less a done deal. They killed Chip, and then blew themselves up...?"

"Welllll, Sandy thinks it wasn't no accident. Figures it was sabotage."

I folded one ear back. "Huh. What makes her think that?"

"Says the explosion's just too neat. Too powerful. Just exactly what it'd take to do what had to be done to get the Sandbank boys out of the way. Nnnmmm, I dunno," he said, scratching the pelt hairs where he was mane-bald.

My heart was beating a little too fast for my liking. I tried to keep it out of my voice. "She think that?"

"Yep, she does. It's just a hunch, mind you; nothing solid. But Sandy's looking into everything and everybody. Leavin' no stone unturned. Hell, she even checked you out, if you can believe it. Even after her little misstep."

"She still on my trail?" I snorted, trying to smile. "What for?"

"Well, like I said, she's checkin' everybody. She found out you're attached to some Guards unit called the Firevendors, f'rinstance. Even got sent over with 'em to Sierra Blanca for some kinda special joint training with Nyumba Dola couple years ago. Sounds interesting."

"Mm-hmm," I said. My mouth went dry. I waited for him to ask me what the Firevendors did.

He sighed and looked around. "Waste of time," he said. "I figure it is just what it looks like. Big ol' accident by a bunch of idiots didn't know what the hell they were doing. Besides, we ain't got the time nor money to check under every toe in the county. But, she's got a burr under her tail. So, I told her to concentrate on coordinating with them state boys over in Horizon. If it's what she says, then I figure it's gotta be that Quadrupeds gang in Sycamore City." He looked me square in the eye. "Don't you think?"

I nodded, feeling my tongue unglue from the roof of my mouth. "I reckon," was all I could think to say.

He gave a half-amused hiss. "If they weren't such assholes themselves, shit, I'd shake their paws and kiss 'em too. Sure made my job a lot easier. Sad for the families, but... that aside, life will sure be a lot more peaceful around here. At least for a while. I think we dodged a big ol' bullet headin' our way. Maybe a lot of 'em."

I nodded.

"So, anyway, I'll give Sandy just enough leash to wear herself out, and when she's done buttin' her head up against a dead-end wall, I'll give her some important paperwork to do. Expedite her mighty climb up the ladder," he winked.

I smiled. "Well, that'd be right kind of you, Sheriff, to help her along like that."

"Yep, this place's too small for a big brain like that. Wasted on an obvious open-and-shut case like this." Then he sighed. "I dunno," he said, sounding kind of weary. "Folks say the Sandbanks killed Chip. Can't prove it. Other folks reckon someone turned right around and killed them. Can't prove that, neither." He rubbed his jaw. "Alls I can say is, if it's so, well... probably the only justice poor Chip's ever gonna get. Sad to say it, me bein' the sheriff, but it's true. Sometimes the world's like that."

"Sometimes," I said.

He put his hat back on, and with it, a smile. "I hear you started keeping company with Anne Marie after Chip's memorial. That's nice."

"Thank you."

"You'd make a right fine couple, if you don't mind my sayin'."

"Don't mind at all. Can't say it hasn't crossed my mind."

"You, uh... You wouldn't happen to have been courtin' her the night of that big explosion, now, would you?"

"Matter of fact I was. Didn't hear a thing, though. Slept right through it, both."

"Musta wore each other out," he snickered, and threw me a wink.

I gave him a little chuckle and a shrug.

"Well, that's good to hear. I'll let Sandy know. Just for her own piece of mind, of course."

"Much obliged. I don't mind the ladies knowing I'm fit for duty."

"Hmmph," he snorted, amused. He looked me up and down for a sec and his smile simmered down to something small, and all the more sincere for it. "You're good people, Nicky. Look after your brother, now. We can't afford to lose no heroes around here."

"It's kind of you to say that. I will."

Mtich nodded. Turned away with a friendly wag.

"Mitch."

"Hmm?"

"Appreciate you comin' by." I looked at the car, like that was what I meant.

Mitch smiled. He padded over to the other squad car and got in shotgun beside Cal. Gave me a wave. "Look after my baby, there," he called. "And hey... thanks again!"

I waved back. "No thanks required," I said. But I said it with my eyes, and not my mouth.

I'd like to think that Chip's hanging around close, just waiting for me to set him someplace. I'm closer to 30 than 20 now. Given' serious consideration to settling down with Anne Marie if she'll have me and start making feet for cubs' souls with her. Make some new little paws for Chip to slide on into. Keep him close to his family.

I hear tell sometimes that ghosts stick close by the people that killed them, too. I hope that's true. If it is, it'll be a whole lot easier for me to reach right out and grab those boys out of the Between Lives with my balls and shoot them right down my cock into the next one. And I mean to work hard on that, every spread-legged chance I get. You listening out there, boys? Daddy's doing his very best for you.