15,000 Foot Plummet to Electrified Barbwire
Please Note, this story does not intend any negativity to the sports team The Jaguars, I just chose an animal I wanted to write about, and it turned out there was a real sports team by the same name.
The Mascot of the Jaguars couldn't hold in his fright,, the jitters penetrating his Soul, the term "butterflies in the stomach" didn't even begin to express what he was feeling. It was more like firecrackers, going off every nanosecond.
He supposed this was sort of fitting considering the firecrackers going off all around them. This was Super Bowl Night besides, they had to create some sort of spectacle.
As a mascot, Jaguar was technically considered a toon, which meant he could die or be permanently injured, but he was still deathly afraid of heights.
"We're over the drop zone!" The drop team leader declared, opening the door of the plane. Air rushed in, sweeping across Jaguar's fur, and he gasped in a new wave of terror. Why had the team insisted their mascot drop into the stadium before the game? They had never had him do this before.
Slowly, with a sense of dread, Jaguar got up from his seat and followed his team to the open door. One by one they leapt out.
Finally, it was Jaguar's turn.
He looked down, at the night lit city, the stadium, glowing with all its florescent spectacle down below, the distance just too far for a straight down plummet.
He froze, his heart hammered in his chest. He couldn't do this. He wouldn't-
Then his foot slipped on the slick plane floor, and he went tumbling out in a roll!
He tried to gasp. He was plummeting too fast! They talk about your stomach being in your throat, it was nothing like that! It was as if his body was plummeting so fast, it was like it had been yanked away from his Soul, which was still 1000 feet up above, unable to catch up, but feeling the pure terror of the hurtling momentum.
Jaguar tried to grip anyone, anything to slow down his fall, but it was just him in this empty space, plummeting, hurtling, no control!
Then he found his pack. Struggling, he fumbled for a grip on the string, a rush of relief running through him as he finally gripped it.
He yanked.
Nothing happened.
He yanked again, and again. Still nothing.
The chute must be jammed!
Jaguar screamed in terror as he plummeted toward the stadium. He may not be able to die, but he could feel pain. Lots and lots of pain, which he knew he would face once the Earth came up to slap him.
NO! I CAN'T TAKE THIS!
Unfortunately, he was off target.
The stadium was surrounded by a highly electric fence topped with a sturdy electrified bar, wrapped in barbwire to keep out loiterers and trespassers.
SMACK!
And onto that fence Jaguar landed, legs spread on either side.
Now if you want to try to understand the kind of pain he felt at that moment, here's a word of advice, don't, just don't. You don't want to know.
It was as if his entire being were slammed upward into his brain as his Soul was suddenly jarred to a stop as it finally collided with his body, still on the plummet, but body suspended on the fence 5 miles above. It was hard, it was sharp, and it was electric, and it felt so raw, his body instantly regretting its own existence.
Jaguar slumped off the fence, toppling into the inside of the fence.
Meanwhile, a female Jaguar who was running late for the opening ceremony of the game, paid her fees at the ticket booth, and was about to make her way into the stadium, when she heard moaning off to the side.
She found Jaguar still lying there, writing and moaning and holding his injury. She took in the fence and noticed its indentation, the unopened parachute bag on his back, and it didn't take her long to put the pieces together.
She stifled a gasp which she didn't know if was of amusement or horror. And to top it off, he was actually kind of cute.
She quickly rushed to find somebody important to report the incident to. Pretty soon, a team came to help him up, and the female Jaguar decided to remain close by in case any more assistance was needed.
Because he was a mascot, and technically a toon, he wasn't permanently damaged, but he wasn't going to be able to walk right for a while. So much for his entrance at the Opening Ceremony, or even Half-Time.
So instead, they set him up a seat to watch the game instead. Right next to the female Jaguar who found him.
And I'm happy to report that the two quickly got together, fell in love, and got married, and they lived a long and happy life together.
So perhaps a 15,000 foot straight down plummet into electrified barbwire isn't all as bad as you may think.
Well, uh, except the pain. That's actually worse than you might think.
Much worse.