FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Before the story starts, I wanna say a big thank you to Firo and Saen-WyrWulf for the hep and motivation with the story. And Firo for letting me use his character. Also thank you to Corvan458 for spell checking as I was writing.

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Mike Shepherd is a 21 year old German Shepherd. He has a youthful look about him, especially with his crooked right ear, which is also still quite floppy at times, even though his parents said they would get pointy and strong, but they did not. He has the generic coloring of a normal german shepherd, but is quite small for his age, standing at 4ft 9in. To look at him, he doesn't seem to be very unique, except for two tattoos on his back. Both were given to him by a close friend. One is a small blue love heart just to the right of his tail, and the other, on his right shoulder blade, is the tanith first and only symbol, also in blue. He is a charming young lad, who doesn't have a bad bone in his body and he just wants to meet new friends and explore his new life as being an openly gay dog.

Mike had just moved to Califurnia over a couple of weeks ago, after getting fed up living in a remote town in the middle of nowhere. He wanted a fresh start, a place where he could be who he really wanted to be. So he said goodbye to his family and headed for Califurnia to start his new life.

After a few weeks he had already settled in, had some fun with the locals, and made some friends. He was happy for sure, but he still felt like he was missing something. Because he moved here not just to be with people who he could relate to, but to find a partner that he could spend the rest of his life with hopefully.

It was a crisp Sunday evening, just past 6, and the sun was setting on the beach outside. Mike stood on the balcony, drinking a cold glass of lemonade, as he watched passers by talk amongst themselves as they headed to the many entertainment venues along the beach. Mike lived in Shepherds Crook, a haven for furs that loved to walk around naked (as long as it was past 6 PM).

So, bearing that in mind, Mike drained his glass of lemonade and headed back into his small apartment. It wasn't very big, it only had 2 rooms. The first room, which he was in, had his bedroom, living room and kitchen all in one place. The other room was his bathroom. For some people, this would be too small, but Mike loved that. To him it was cosy, and it stopped him buying lots of useless things from thrift stores.

He put the glass in the sink, which was slowly filling with dirty plates. He made a mental note to wash them up tomorrow, as he headed over to a chest of draws. He opens one and picks out a red collar, putting it on himself. He looks in the mirror, tries to make his fur look a bit less scruffy, but fails. He giggles and shakes his head, making his ears flop a bit. He then heads to the front door, turning off the light before leaving his home.

Once down onto the street, the noises and smells intensified. The smells of many different restaurants hit his canine nose, which made Mike drool a bit. He shook his head a bit and then headed off, towards a little bar he liked. As he walked along the street, past the many colorful houses, nightclubs and all the other entertainment establishments, he wagged his tail softly. Because ever since coming here, Mike had finally felt like he belonged.

He finally arrived at the bar on the beach located on Shepherds Crook. It was called The Lion's Den, and was run by a friendly lion which Mike had hung out with on occasions. He headed inside, taking a seat at his usual spot, which was on the left hand side of the bar. The owner, a handsome lion called Firo, with a huge bright red mane, approached Mike. "Ah pup, welcome back! The usual?" He asked as he dried up a glass.

"Uhh... Elderflower please" Mike replied, putting some money down. Firo nodded before getting his drink and then putting it down in front of Mike. "Cheers" Mike said as he sipped his drink and looked around at the small bar. It wasn't much to many people, because it ws small and wasn't as fancy as a nightclub, but Mike liked that. Most of the people here were friendly and came to relax, so you barely get any trouble. There were a few black faded couches and some old movie posters on the wall, along with some tables. There weren't many people here tonight. A big wolf, sleeping on the couch and a panther sat at a table writing on a notepad. He then turned his head back towards the lion. "So, you've been keeping well pup?" Firo asked, putting some glasses away.

Mike nods, a little too quickly which causes Firo to raise an eyebrow. "Mike... come on... we talked about this." Firo said sternly. You see, Firo only called Mike by his name when he was being serious. Most times it was pup, because of how small Mike was and his innocence. "You know I can tell when you're not okay.... So.... what's wrong?" Mike sighed, took a drink and said quietly to Firo. "I... uh... got my results back." Mike whispered, his voice shaking a bit, looking down at the faded rings from glasses on the bar. "It's...from the MRI." Firo sighed, knowing that the news wasn't good. "They... want to see me... uh... tomorrow" Mike sighed sadly, burying his head in his hands. Firo sighed and came round and sat next to Mike. He then puts his arm around him "Look, I am not gonna pretend to know what you are going through... but you are not alone okay? Me and all the friends you have made since moving here, are all supporting you." Mike took his head out of his hands and looked at Firo, smiling slightly and nodded, "I know.... I know." Mike replied, his voice shaking as if he was telling himself that rather than Firo.

Firo hugged Mike close and squeezed him before letting him go. "Want me to come with you?" He asked. Mike looked at Firo for a minute, before shaking his head slightly. "No... Firo... I... gotta do this on my own" Firo nods and pats Mike on the head which causes him to bark and giggle softly. "But... uhh... thanks." Mike said quietly. Firo heads back around the bar again. "Don't bother paying pup, this one's on me, save your money for the train okay?" Mike nods blushing and drinks his drink before taking the money he had put on the side.. "Well I... gotta get up early." Mike mumbled, barely looking at Firo, his mind clearly somewhere else. Firo nods as Mike heads out the door "Goodnight pup." Firo sighs sadly and then texts someone on his phone.

Mike's POV:

I don't remember when or how I got back home, but when I came back to reality I was standing in front of my mirror, side on, looking at my left shoulder. At how it sticks out, and looks all wrong. I hate it! Why does it have to look like that? So fucking hideious! I clench my fists, wanting to scream, cry, shout, anything!! I am losing control of my mind. The illness is winning again! I can't let it, I have to fight it, put it out of my mind. But I can't... the more I think about it, the deeper I sink into the deepest darkest depths of my own personal hell. FUCK!!!! This is so wrong!!!! Why me?!!! What have I done to deserve this fucking hell!!!!

My fucking illness. I have scoliosis, which is a curvature of the spine. Which would be fine... but I also have two odd shaped vertebrae, one at the top and one at the bottom. I also have no feeling in my arms and hands, plus my right leg, from below my knee right down to my foot. Doesn't sound bad does it? Except I am in constant pain, 24/7 with nothing that I can do to stop it. And because of that pain, and all the other things, I can't walk long distances, can't do sports. Why can't I just be fucking normal?!!

I collapse crying in front of the mirror, wanting the pain to go away. I cry like this for ten minutes, before calming down enough to get up and go and wash my face in the bathroom. I look at my face, my eyes all red and puffy. I close my eyes with a tired sigh and then rub along the lower part of my back, trying to ease the pain, but failing. I shuffle over to bed, flop on it and try to get some sleep. Sleep that I know won't come...