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Dr Packard has rented a nice house. I pull up to the door. Graham's out the door and locking it and he turns and for the first time sees Kit. He's dumbstruck. Kit's grinning. "He's gorgeous, Claude, but so was Miguel" Kit says smiling. I wave to him. Graham walks over rather slowly. But he hasn't taken his eyes off of Kit since he first saw him. "I brought Kit with me, Dr Packard, he's a good friend who came down to visit from California, and I though you might enjoy meeting him before we get home and it gets a bit rowdy" I say. "He's Bloody gorgeous, Dr Kitman" Graham says. "Call me Claude, everyone does" I say smiling. Graham gets in the back seat and Kit gets in back with him. I back out of the driveway and I start back home. I watch them in the rear view mirror. I can't cross my fingers because I'm driving. They're talking and their body language seems to say they're hot for each other at least.

And at a light I look back in time to see them kiss and Kit faint. "Edward was right" I say. "Claude, I bloody bonded him, did you know" Graham asks. "I had wondered, you were all he's said he wanted, so I brought him with me so you could meet him and not be distracted by the family" I say. "You can use our bedroom when we get home to bond him, Graham" I say. "Yours?" he asks. "Ours, mine and my two bond mates" I say. "Bloody Hell, you have two?" he asks. "You'll meet them soon, Dr Packard" I say smiling. He grins. "I think I"m going to like knowing you, Claude" Graham says. And I see that warm, and very charming smile I liked so much.

"The condo belongs to my Grandfather, Dr Walter C Russell, PhD" I say. "He's a Physicist?" he asks. "He is" I say. "Nobel prize winner?" Graham asks. "That's my Grandpa" I say proudly. "You're from California?" he asks. "I live there now, well, I live here for the next year at least til my contract ends, but I was born in Alabama" I say smiling. "Kit's a friend, he was born and raised in Sacramento" I say. "Where my home and most of my family is" I say.

"You say family but who's here?" Graham asks. "My Dad, J.T. Kitman, my Brother, Dr Rory Kitman, Grandpa Walt and Jack, his Fox mate, my two mates, Jorge Martinez, a big Grizzly and Miguel Santos, a big Clydesdale Horse" I say laughing. "Jerry Martinez, a small Black Bear, he's Jorge's cousin, and his new mate, Frank Martin, a big Bengal Tiger." I say. "Kit just came down today, truthfully I thought he'd bond Miguel, but he didn't and me and Jorge did" I say. Graham's shaking his head. "Don't ask about family back home in California, you'll need a score card" Kit says waking up. "Claude, I need to call Nate" Kit says. I toss him my cell. "I know you'll soon know who Nate is, he's Kit's best friend, and I'll have him and his mate come visit you two when he wants" I say.

"You must have money" Graham says. "A little" I say softly. Kit cracks up. "He's Dr Claude Marcus Kitman II, youngest son of the owner of CMK Industries, he's a fucking multimillionaire, Graham" Kit says as he dials Nate's phone. Graham blanches. "They didn't tell us that at orientation" he says shakily. "I'm not sure they know, it was all arranged so fast, I had a guy dump me and I wanted to get away and take some time to recover, Grandpa lived here as he's based at Rice University, so he wanted me to come stay with him" I say softly. Graham smiles. "Family seems to mean a lot to you, Claude" Graham says. "It does and you're part of it now, just like Kit" I say smiling. Kit grins. And he goes back to chatting with Nate. Graham's smiling now. "I was so lonely, and I'll never be lonely again" he says. "Kit will never leave you, and you have a bunch of animals who'll love you too, Graham." I say smiling. "Claude, why me?" Graham asks.

"I really enjoyed meeting you, Dr Packard, you were warm, funny, charming, brilliant and a lot of fun to be around" I say smiling. "I knew Kit would be as fascinated by you as I was" I say softly. "Besides, if I hadn't of gotten my Grizzly and my Clydesdale I was planning to try to go after you myself" I say laughing. Graham blushes. "I'm older than he is" he says. "How old?" I ask."I'm 42" he says. "So I'm 21" Kit says. "I'm twice your age" Graham moans. "I don't care, Graham, I'm fine with it" Kit says. Graham smiles again. "He doesn't care, I can see his love for me in his eyes" Graham says. We pull up to the condo. We go in and I introduce Graham to everyone. I tell my guys that I'm going to let them use our bedroom to bond while I do dinner. Jack has got a lot of the prep done, and the salad made. And he's cut up some of the vegetables for the main dish.

My guys come kiss me and sit in the kitchen while Jack and I get to work on dinner. "They're very much in love" Miguel says. "I know" I say. "Kit's a good Lynx, a good tight Feline piece of ass" Miguel says grinning. I lean over and kiss him. "My Lion" he murrs. Jorge looks at him. "OK, our Lion" he says laughing. They kiss. "Claude, is your life always like this?" Jack asks . "I can't lie, Jack, at times it is" I say."Things will slow down soon" I say. I get a minute when I'm caught up. I call Edward and tell him. He's happy for us. And for Kit too and Jerry. "Claude, call Nigel, he'll be sad if you don't" Edward says. "I will" I say. And I do.

Nigel is a bit sad. "I'm a bit lonely now, Chazz has been curled up with me but I miss you, Claude" Nigel says . "Come for next weekend?" I ask. "We can afford to pay for it" I say softly. "I want my Jorge and Miguel to meet my Badger and his Saber Tooth" I say softly. Nigel laughs. "I keep forgetting it's nothing to you to fly off like that" he says. "Ask Dad he'd send you on Eagle One" I say. Nigel laughs. "He might" he says. "It'll pass quickly, I had to come, you know why Nige, and I met my life mates here" I say. And we chat a bit. I hang up after a while. (He was trying to find a way to tell me about his mom, but he didn't want to ruin my night.)

And I get started with the rest of dinner. I had bought a dessert at Kroger's. I'll embellish it a bit, but it's good enough. Rory's got the table fixed up for me. I'd gotten Grandpa to rent some more dinnerware on his way home. So we have plates and silverware for everyone. I'll go buy some more myself next week when I have time. I know how it'll be now, my family will come down in groups to see me and meet my new mates. And it'll be fun. I'll miss them less . But we'll have to see. I could be home in six months or the full year if they want me that long. And I'll miss Grandpa when I do go home, but he'll have Jack now.

It's a lot of work doing a big dinner like this so spontaneously. . But when I put it out, I'm kind of proud. I kiss Jack and thank him for his help. He's gonna be great for Grandpa. He and I work together in the kitchen well. I know how that is by how I work with Edward when I help him.

I go tell everyone dinner is ready. I go get Grandpa and Rory out of Grandpa's study. They've been talking. Rory's been catching Grandpa up on his life of late. We all sit as Grandpa says grace. Grandpa is at the head of the table and Dad is at the foot of it. I'm between my Horse and my Bear and the rest of us are with our mates. Jack is on Grandpa's right. Kit and Graham look so happy now. As do Frank and Jerry. We have a great dinner.

Graham lightens up and the rest of the family gets to see Graham at his most charming and happy. He's an amazing Wolf. And the way my Jorge and Miguel look at me throughout dinner makes me feel so loved. Lots of good conversation and we all get closer. Graham and Grandpa really hit it off well. Grandpa's asked Graham about his work. And I see why the Hospital wanted Graham enough to bring him up from Brisbane. He's fucking brilliant and has a gift for making the complex simple without making someone feel stupid. I understand it anyway as does Rory, we are Physicians too. But Graham's warm smile and soft laugh makes us all happy he's here. Kit looks so much more in love with his Wolf now. (I have a brief moment of wondering how it would be if I had of gone after Graham and bonded him. But I know I'm happy with my Guys and am just being greedy thinking about Graham that way.)

When it's over, Jack and Jerry and I clean up. And we chat. I can hear the others in the living room. Watching a movie and chatting a lot. Graham comes and kisses me. "Your Grandpa is going to take Kit and I home, and I don't know how to thank you" Graham says. I kiss him. "I've talked to Kit and tomorrow I'm going to get him a car, he wants to transfer down here to go to school and he can drive our Aussie Wolf where he needs to go" I say smiling. Graham smiles. "I think you like this old Wolf" he says grinning. I kiss him again. "I do, and if you need anything, just call me, Graham" I say. He hugs me tightly. "Nate says it's what he does, Graham, if he likes you, he'd do anything for you" Kit says. I hug him. They leave. (When me and my guys go back to California, Grandpa and Jack invite them to live with them. Grandpa's gotten used to having others in the house and they do move in.)

We get busy and finish the kitchen. My cell rings. Nate. "He's so happy, Claude, he's madly in love with that Wolf" Nate says. "He is and his Graham is a gorgeous, sweet natured Wolf" I say happily. Nate's laughing. 'Dad and I will come down in a bit" Nate says. "I'm glad he's happy, Nate, Kit's a heck of a guy, and I've enjoyed getting to know him better" I say happily. Nate laughs.

"I got them, I'm part of a triad now Nate." I say. "Claude, Carl told all of us at lunch" Nate says. I crack up. "They're proud of you, Claude" Nate says. "I'll send you a couple of pictures of my Jorge and Miguel" I say softly. "Kit says Miguel is gorgeous and massively hung" Nate says. "He is, and they're about the same size dickwise" I say laughing. "Greedy, just plain greedy" Nate says. "Jack's not exactly small either, Snow Meow" I tease him. "No, he's not" Nate says. He's quiet for a moment.

"Claude, Dad and I talked a bit last night, we never really thanked you, you and the family don't care, no one has ever said anything about me bonding my own Dad" he says. I smile. And I tell him about my trying to bond my own Dad and my Granddad. Nate laughs. "So you do understand" he says laughing. "I do, Jack's a great top, and a loving male, you're lucky, Nate" I say softly. "You are in a great mood" he says. "I miss you, Claude" he says. "Now you're gone and so is Kit" he says. "It's why I reminded you I can fly you down anytime you want to come, to see me or to see Kit, you'll love Graham too" I say. "I intend to first chance I get" Nate says laughing. "And I'll be home in a year or so" I say quietly. (My contract with the hospital is for six months with an option for renewal for another six months.) "I know, and Nigel and I still hang out a lot" Nate says. "Don't leave us again like that" Nate says quietly. "It's not the same without you" he says. "I won't but I had to leave, I was too pissed at Wiley, and Kit told me some things I wish I'd of known, I never would have let him close to me if I'd of known" I say softly. "I've got my Jorge and Miguel, and once I'm home I'm not leaving again except for vacations" I say quietly. "By the way, I see why you like Kit so much, he's pretty cool" I say. Nate laughs. "He's happy that you two finally got to know each other, and he loved how Miguel fucked him" Nate says. "I do too" I say. Nate laughs.

I call Nigel after Nate hangs up and he doesn't answer. I call Edward. "Claude, they went out, he and Chazz and Matt and his mate" Edward says. "But I'd think he'd answer for me?" I ask. "Claude, he's been sad and I don't know why" Edward says. "If you don't know then who does?" I ask. "I don't, Claude, I don't know everything." Edward says softly. "I'm sorry" I say. "I thought at first he just missed you, but he's been very sad the last day or so" Edward says. "I can't see anything, Claude" Edward says. I hang up.(Edward's not perfect, as he doesn't control what he sees. He sees so much of my life because he loves me as a son. And he's made oblique references at time to my being so empathic and intuitive.)

I go looking for Dad. I pull him into Grandpa's study. "Dad, do you know what's going on with Nigel?" I ask. "He's missing you a lot, Boy" Dad says. "But he wouldn't answer his cell, Edward said he and Chazz and his friend went out" I say. "Claude, Nigel's mom is sick, and he won't go home, he says he wouldn't want to close the office since you're gone" Dad says. "What about James?" I ask. "He's a good Lion and from what Nigel says a good Doctor" Dad says. "Damn his stubbornness" I say softly.

Dad hugs me. "I tried to get him to go, Alf says she's bad off" Dad says. (Alf is Nigel's Dad. A big burly working class English Badger. OK, I have to say this. Alf is fucking gorgeous. As handsome as Nigel but a big built Badger and so masculine.) "He's gonna go if I have to go home and drag his ass to London" I snort. Dad laughs. "You've done enough this weekend, Boy, Rory and I are going home tomorrow and I'll drag his ass to London myself for you, Son" Dad says laughing.. I hug him. "Thank you, Daddy" I say hugging him. "I love that Badger too, and you know how I respect Alf, he'll need me too" Dad says. I kiss Dad.

"Boy, you have to stop thinking you're the only one who can help our family, we all love one another enough to help each other too, you'll get sick, like Martha did, and I won't see Jorge and Miguel lose you, Hell, I won't lose you that way either, I need to let them know they'll have to sit on you at times" Dad snorts. I hang my head. "Claude, you didn't know her well, but you're so much like she was inside, Walt told me he's amazed at how much of her is in you" Dad says quietly. He holds me tightly. "Boy, I'm proud of you, but please slow down a bit, for your old Dad if nothing else" Dad says stroking my mane. I cry. "Claude, how much time have you spent with Miguel and Jorge since you guys bonded as a triad?" Dad asks. "A little" I say. "You need to quit obsessing over helping everyone else and do what's best for you, Claude" Dad says firmly. "Martha was that way, and she wore herself down, you should remember that, or at least the fights she and I had over it" Dad says in a harsh tone of voice. Those simple words sting. As I try to remember any arguments or even much about Momma I can't. And I feel a sharp emotional pain. I don't know the Mother who everyone says I"m so much like. I weep.

I didn't know my Momma hardly at all. What I know of her is mostly from Dad, Grandpa, and Rory. I do remember her a bit occasionally, but I was only five when she died. Damn this. Why now? It hurts so badly. I never really knew her, yet she left a big hole in my heart. Dad's cuddling me now. "Boy, I'm sorry, but I won't see you do that, you give and you give, and you never see that you don't have to, you need to depend more on those of us who love you, and who you love, Claude" Dad says stroking my mane. "Don't do this to me or your Horse and Bear"Dad says sharply.

"Dad, I miss her, yet I can only barely remember her, or her face even" I say quietly. "I know, Claude, but she loved you so much" Dad says. I try to stop crying. It's happened before. I'll think of my Mom and I'll get upset. I've seen Grandpa's pictures of her, she was a beautiful Lioness like Grandma was. As I've gotten older it's harder to see her face when I try to remember her. I'm scared one day I'll just stop being able to see her face or remember her at all. "I know, Baby Kitten, Rory remembers her better as he was older when she died" Dad says stroking my mane. "Claude, you see her face everytime you look into a mirror, you look just like her" Dad says softly. I can't remember even that much of her face. Great timing, I should be so happy now. I also hate that Dad lectured me on not letting go and trying to do everything to help those I love. "Claude, you should go find Jorge and Miguel" Dad says. "Let them comfort you, and you know they need to know what happened too" Dad says softly. I feel so lost right now. I worked so hard and he's lecturing me. And he seems unwilling to deal with my concerns about not remembering Mom.

My cell rings. Nigel must have gotten my Voice mail. "Damn you, Nige, go home, James can handle the office, you have to be with your Mom" I snort into the phone. Nigel laughs. "You love her too" Nigel says. "Dad's coming home tomorrow and he'll take you he said" I say. Nigel laughs. "She's very sick, but she'll pull through, Claude, Dad's a bit stressed though, he'll need Papa Jim" Nigel says. "I called and talked to her Doctor a bit ago" he says softly.

"So you got them both now?" he asks. "I do, and we'll be happy when all of this other shit calms down" I say. "Claude, let me talk to him" Dad says sternly. I hand him my phone. I sit on the couch and stew the whole time Dad's talking to Nigel. "Claude, just try to relax" Dad says. "Daddy's got it all under control" he says kissing me. He hands me my phone and walks off. I sit and try to let go. (Never an easy thing for me to do) Dad doesn't mean to, but he's treating me like a cub again. And I hate that. (Missing my guys and ever more agitated by Dad's treating me like a cub. Not going to handle this well. I'll break soon)

After about 30 minutes, Jorge and Miguel walk in. They pick me up and carry me to our room. "We have to watch you, your father told us, you'll wear yourself out and make yourself sick worrying over your family" Miguel says quietly. "I will not allow that, nor will Miguel" Jorge says firmly. "Yes, Daddy Bear" I say quietly. They lay me on the bed and pull my clothes off. "You have us to take care of, we will not stop you from helping your family, but your father has asked us to keep you from wearing yourself out, and we've seen how you devote yourself to your family" Jorge says firmly. "Miguel and I are the highest priority you have now, we will keep you from wearing yourself down or maybe even killing yourself" Jorge snaps. "Yes Daddy Bear" I say averting my eyes from his. (I need them, yet I don't need to be fussed at even more by my mates. This is almost too much)

"Claude, we know you love them so much, but look at what you've done just since we've known you" Miguel says. I break down and cry. "See, baby, you're worn down and your emotions are frayed" Jorge says softly. Miguel rolls me onto my stomach. And he begins to massage my back, neck and shoulders, and to my horror, I weep harder. "Mi amo, we're not wanting to start our life together by yelling at you" Jorge says stroking my mane. "But we will not lose you, and your father worries that you might wear yourself down like your mother did" Jorge says. "You didn't know her very well, he said you were young when she died, and he was heartbroken that she, like you would not nor could not stop helping others, even when she had nothing left inside to give" Jorge says fiercely. "You will not do that, we won't let you" he snorts. And Miguel continues to massage me. Jorge kisses me. "You swore you'd let me be our Alpha, so please, Claude, listen to me" Jorge says. "I love you too much to live without you, and Miguel would be as heartbroken as I would be" he says."Yes, Daddy Bear" I say quietly. He gives me a soft smile. And he keeps stroking my mane as Miguel massages me. (I haven't seen it, but my being away from them has made me sensitive to the pains and bad feelings I would have shrugged off normally.. I should be spending all of my time with them right now. This is a respite that keeps me from totally breaking down though)

I feel so relaxed I doze off. I wake a bit later and I'm being held snugly between my Grizzly and my Clydesdale. They both kiss me. "We love our Lion" Miguel says softly. Jorge grins. "We do, and we love each other, so lets get started if you're rested enough, mi amo" Jorge says. And his hard Ursine dick is poking into my side.

"Who first?" I tease them. Jorge smiles. "We both want you" he says with a wicked grin. Jorge pulls me to him and he shoves up me to halfway in. He rolls onto his back. Miguel gets on top of me. They can't be serious? With those massive dicks? Miguel looks down into my eyes. "Trust your loves and relax, mi amo leone" he murrs softly. I nod. And he pushes up me too. It hurts like Hell until the blunt, flat head of his Horse Cock pops past my ass ring. "I told you we wouldn't ever hurt you Baby Kitten" Jorge murrs. When Miguel is halfway up me too. They begin to move slowly.

I pant and kick my foot paws but it isn't from pain. The feeling is damned amazing. My mates have taken complete possession of me. They've synchronized their movements inside of me. I moan as they work me together. They're kissing each other and me too. I yowl and cuss in Spanish and I shoot cum on Miguel's belly. He's grunting. "Not yet" he hollers. "Yo Tengo" he roars and Jorge is a minute behind him. Roaring "Yo Tengo" and gushing up me. Panting we are all locked together for a brief moment while Miguel's Horse Cock's head is flared wide. Miguel kisses me repeatedly. And they pull out.

Panting hard they hold me between them. "Papa Jim told us to call your Bulls, they are good souls and happy for us all" Miguel pants. "They told us to do this, it will lock us even tighter, mi amo" Jorge pants. I smile. "They were so happy when I called and told them we'd all bonded" I say. "They are good Bulls and their Bobcat told us he was anxious to meet us and be under us" Jorge says proudly. "Mac's cool, and so are Mick and Carl" I say.

"They told us to call them if we have any difficulties adjusting to being a triad, they must love our Lion too" Miguel says. "They do, we rut a lot, like I figure we will" I say. "I wouldn't have known this level of happiness was possible except for them and their triad" I say. "I like them, we will get close to them, and I am so happy that your father and brother accepted us like your Grandfather did" Jorge says proudly. Miguel nods his agreement. "I'm happy that I got both of you, I'll make you both as happy as I can" I say softly. Jorge kisses me. "I know you will" he says. "I do as well, mi amo leone" Miguel says. (I missed an important clue here, all's right with my little world now that we're together. My pains and fears are lessened and I am relaxed and happy to be where I belong. Between my mates.)

And we lay and talk a while. Jorge pulls me to him and slips up me and fucks me fast and deep, while Miguel holds me from the front and kisses me. "Kiss me, baby" Jorge moans and Miguel and I lean back and kiss our Grizzly. He roars and I feel him gushing up me. He's kissing us both and panting hard. "My loves" he says happily. He pulls out and Miguel moves behind me and pushes his Horse Cock up me. And he lays into me fucking me hard and fast while Jorge kisses me and him. We spend the night like this. Fucking and kissing. Them passing me back and forth. They both tell me they'd rather fuck, if they get head it'll be because they're waiting to for the other to finish in my ass so they can go up me next. And we spend time talking in between rutting. I fall asleep about 5AM with Jorge holding me from behind while Miguel holds me from the front. I have never felt so loved and secure as I do now.

I wake up at 7:30AM and I try to slip out between them. Jorge pulls me back. "No, mi amo, you need more sleep than that" he says firmly. I nod. He pulls my head down onto Miguel's gently heaving chest. He's still sleeping deeply. Jorge holds me and we both go back to sleep. (Jorge understands that I need to be with them as much as I can. Miguel too.)

I wake to being shaken. I'm confused, as I'm still between my mates. I open my eyes. Dad? "We're going home now, Claude" Dad says. "We'll take Jerry with us since he and Frank bonded and I'll look after him, Claude, we'll get him settled and enrolled in Demontfort" Dad says softly. "I'm glad, Claude, they love you so much, when we talked last night, Jorge was determined you will not run yourself ragged anymore" Dad says. "Nigel's going to be ready when I get home, we'll drop Jerry and Frank and Rory off and then I'll get him and Chazz and we'll go to London" Dad says. He kisses me. My Horse and Bear are still dead to the world. Rory comes in and he kisses me too. "I'm sorry Claude, Grandpa and I talked, like we should have long ago, and I'll be down with Mason in a few weeks. "I'm going to start coming to him a few days a month" Rory says. I kiss him. "They'll love you, Dad said they'd try to keep you from wearing yourself down like Mom did" he says. I nod. He leaves.

I lay between my loves and I know I am a lucky Lion. I have to keep that in mind. So many love me. My family does love me. I look at my alarm. It's noon. I get up and I go looking for Grandpa. He's in his easy chair reading the paper. I sit in his lap.

"Jim told me, Claude" Grandpa says. "Why didn't you ask me about Martha?" he asks. "I was afraid to hurt you, you loved her too, and you lost her and Grandma too" I say. "Claude, you were so young when we lost her, I've shown you pictures of her, but it's your own memories you worry over" Grandpa says quietly. I nod. "Claude, you have so much of her in you, why is it important now, do you not know her at all?" Grandpa asks softly. "Dad would never talk about her, or how she was, only to tell me like you have that I'm so much like her" I say. "You did talk to me about her, Grandpa, but I'm an adult now, I'm mated and I have little to no idea of what my own Mother was like" I say quietly. Grandpa hugs me. "It's not even that Claude, you loved her so much, you were little but you'd follow her around constantly" Grandpa says softly. (I'm trying to integrate my old life with my new one as the center of a triad, it's making me try to sort out conflicts in that old life. I want to know my Mother, and I may never be able to.) "It almost broke you when she died, Claude like it almost broke Jim," Grandpa says softly. "Like it almost broke me, only you and Rory kept me going" he says fighting tears.

He pulls me into his lap. "Claude, you miss her, you're happy now, you have your life mates, and you wish she was here to see how happy you are, and you want her to be proud of you" Grandpa says stroking my mane. I cry harder. "I thought so, Claude, but she's gone, you can only hope she's looking down from Heaven, her and your Grandma" Grandpa says softly. "Claude, she'd be proud of you, you are all she'd of wanted you to be" Grandpa says softly. "I'm proud of you, that much you know, Jim is proud of you as is Rory, it's all you can know," Grandpa says softly. I nod. "We forget at times, you seem so strong and self assured, but you have scars still" Grandpa says softly. "You lost your Mom, you were more hurt by that Wolf than you'll admit, you've done so much since you came here, you miss Nigel and you are overstressed, Boy" Grandpa says firmly. I cry a bit harder. "Claude?" I hear. Miguel is standing in the doorway. "Walt, what is wrong with our Lion?" Miguel asks sounding worried.

Miguel sits down and takes me into his lap. I can't stop crying. Grandpa tells my Clydesdale about how I lost my Mom when I was 5 and how apparently I've not gotten over it yet. Miguel's comforting me and it does help. Grandpa kisses me. Grandpa tells my Horse why he thinks it's kicked up. Miguel holds me even tighter. "My poor leone' he says softly. Sobbing hard I tell him how I feel. "You are loved, so many love you" Miguel says quietly. "You know you don't have to make me or Jorge or Walt love you, yet you keep trying to" Miguel says softly.

Miguel shakes his head. "I see" he says softly. "He doesn't see that does he, Walt" Miguel says. "You can see that Jorge and I love you, and you know Walt loves you and maybe your Dad and your brother and your Badger, but you keep trying to make us all love you anyway" Miguel says softly. "You have so many who love you, and yet you cannot see it or let it in at times" Miguel says quietly. Grandpa's looking thoughtful. "I think you're right, Miguel" Grandpa says softly. I'm embarrassed now. "He's always been that way, he's tried so hard to fix things and do for everyone he loves, like he's afraid if he doesn't we won't love him" Grandpa says gently. I glare at him.

"Boy, don't, I'm not saying you don't do things for us because you love us, but at times you are scared, deep in your heart you're scared that we won't love you unless you do these things, and Edward helps you, you know things about the future you shouldn't, and you try to make it work properly, Claude" Grandpa says. "It's not necessary, Claude" Grandpa says. "You have to let go of trying to force life to go as you want it to." Grandpa says. "You know if he's seen it, that it will happen, with or without you, but you have to try, you can't leave things to work as they will" Grandpa says. "Claude, you're afraid, you'll love us, and we'll leave you like Martha did, your sense of security was shot, and as much as you love, you're convinced we'll all leave despite how much you love us, you're terrified you be abandoned by those you love" Grandpa says firmly. "It's irritating, no matter how thoroughly and deeply we love you, you still think we'll abandon you when you need us most" Grandpa says firmly.

I'm getting mad now. I feel horribly humiliated and I walk off into my bedroom. I slip on shorts and a t shirt. Jorge is still sound asleep. I can hear Grandpa and Miguel talking still. I go out the patio door and walk around to the garage and I open it and get my car and drive off. I can't tell if I'm sad or angry or hurt or embarrassed. My emotions are kind of whirling around. Grandpa has seemed to have momentarily forgotten my tendency to run when overwhelmed or upset. Miguel will go into our room and he'll know I ran. My guys know me pretty well already. Jorge will be mad, but Miguel knows I need to be run down and brought home.

I go get Kit and I go get him the car he wants. Takes about an hour, and he's happy. He wanted an Mercedes E400 4Matic wagon. And it doesn't take him long to pick what he wants. Graham was still sleeping, they were up late fucking. And I don't want to go home quite yet.. I haven't eaten since last night, but I"m not hungry. I'm wanting something but I have no idea what. I badly need something I don't have right now is all I'm really aware of. But to just go home and go to my guys is beyond me now. I'm too hurt to register that it's the pull back to Jorge and Miguel from our joint bond that I'm feeling. I ran, the worst thing I could have done, being further away from my mates. I was hurting and instead of going to them as I should have I ran and it got worse.

I just keep driving around. I am glad the sun is out, I have my sunglasses on and no one can see my tears. I stop and get gas. And I try to think about why I'm so upset now. I didn't bring my cell phone. I have the Telematic system from MB. I could make calls from here if I have to. I pull into a White Castle and I eat. Not hungry, just need a break from driving now.

Running away didn't make me feel better, just lonelier. I don't know how to back this up, how do I move on, how do I stop hurting. Miguel will be mad because I ran off. So will Grandpa. And I hate to think of how Jorge will react when he wakes up. I've fucked things up already. Jorge will go nuclear on me for running from my mates. I've fucked things up already, not even a day and I've ruined my relationship. I'm even too ashamed to call Mick or Carl or Mac.

Maybe I should just say the Hell with it and go back to California. And I'm too ashamed to call my family. Nigel will need to be calm, can't call him, Rory either, even Edward would be angry at me... I'd be too ashamed of what has happened to admit it to anyone. And the thought occurs to me Edward probably already knows. When it comes to my life, he's pretty strongly tuned in. He says it's because he loves me so much that he sees so much of my life and my future.(He does know but doesn't know how to help me find my way to where I should be with my mates.)

I go out to my car. I start it up and I am backing out of my parking space. "Claude" I hear. I stop. Miguel and he doesn't look mad. "How did you find me?" I ask. "Reading the manual for my car I saw the stuff on Telematics, and I had Mercedes tap into your GPS and find you for me" he says. "You were here long enough for me to catch up to you" he says."Kit called me, you took him to get his car but seemed so distracted he got worried" Miguel says. "Jorge is really angry at you for running away" Miguel says. "He was asleep, how does he know?" I ask. "We talked, I came after you, getting you home safely was the most important thing, mi amo leone" Miguel says softly. "I hurt too badly, I'm not going home, unless I go home to California" I say fighting tears. I've cried too damned much already today. I should be blissfully happy, I have a good life and now my life mates, I should be happy, but I'm miserable. (Catch a clue, Lion Boy. You ran from the ones you should have run to. You felt humiliated and your Leonine pride was hurt.)

"Claude, there is no shame in what I told you" he says smiling. "No one faults you, you were hurt badly, and you do mean well usually" Miguel says. "Usually?" I snort. "Claude, please calm down, I love you, you've had a very stress filled few weeks, please come home, we will all talk this out, I would be surprised if you were not hurting from all you have experienced the last week or so" he says quietly. I break down and cry. "I'm sorry, Miguel, I'm supposed to be an adult here and I'm acting like a 12 year old" I say. He smiles. "It's OK, mi amo, we'll go home" he says softly. I nod. And I get into my car and I drive off. Miguel is right behind me. (Another clue I've missed, my Horse could bring me down from being hurt and angry, just his presence calmed me. Like mine at home will calm Jorge when we get there.)

We get home and Jorge and Grandpa are waiting at the garage door. Jorge's face softens as he sees me, and I know he's not mad now. He hugs me when I get out of my car. "Claude, I know you hurt so badly, but please don't run anymore, you scared us both, Miguel was calm enough to know how to find you" Jorge says quietly. Grandpa hugs me too. "Jorge, when he's hurting really badly, Jim says he will run, he needs to stop" Grandpa says. "I do agree, Walt, you will not run, Claude" Jorge says firmly. I'm starting to get mad again. "I hate it when you talk about me like that, like I'm just a tiny cub." I snort

"Mi amo oso, don't fuss at him, he needs tender loving care now, he ran because he could not cope with his pains, and he felt humiliated by what was brought up" Miguel says softly. "He is overwhelmed but would not, could not admit to it" Miguel says as we walk into the house. Jorge hugs me. "Don't run, I beg you, you swore you'd listen to your Grizzly, we'll work things out, give Miguel and I a chance to help you" he says. "Walt too would do anything to help you, Claude" Jorge adds. Jack comes out. He hugs me. "Claude, I want to call a friend of mine, he's a therapist and he's a good one, he'll come out today and see you here and I think you could use the support" Jack says. I kiss him. "Please?" I beg him. Miguel and Jorge nod their approval.

Jack walks off and Miguel leads me to the couch. And we sit. Jorge sits on the other side of me. And they hold me. "Claude, you have to learn to come to us when you hurt, don't you know your Horse and your Grizzly would do anything for their Lion" Jorge says softly.

Jack comes out. "He'll be here in an hour, Claude" Jack says. I hug him. "I understand why you're overwhelmed Claude, you came here due to having been hurt and no matter that you found your mates and you love them, you've done too much trying to make things better for others at your own expense." Jack says stroking my mane. I nod. "It's why I tried to help you last night as much as I could, I was afraid you were pushing yourself too hard." Jack says quietly. I nod. "Your Dad said you're the last one who's needs you'll consider, and you weren't thinking of yourself at all" Jack says.

I go lay on our bed and I try to clear my mind and relax. In a while, Jack comes in. "He's in Walt's study, he's talking to Jorge and Miguel right now, he'll be ready for you in a bit "Jack says. "Who is he?" I ask. "His name is Dr Jonas White, and he's an English born St Bernard, Claude, he's a good friend of mine and we go way back" Jack says softly. "He's a Psychiatrist, and he's a good one" Jack says. "He can help you, he thinks you've just been overwhelmed and need to talk to a neutral party" Jack says. I nod.

"Mi amo, he's ready for you" Jorge says. And he hugs me. "I love you, Claude, Miguel and I are sorry we did not see how stressed you were, we will have to learn one another," Jorge says kissing my paw. "Daddy Bear, it's not your fault, I kept pushing to do so much, to get everyone tended to, that I forgot to tend to myself" I say quietly. "Claude, Jonas could use some help, could we let him move in here for a while" Jack asks. I nod. "I'll talk to him when you're done, Claude, he and his mate need a place for a few months, as their apartment is going condo and they need a place quickly while they look for a new one.." Jack says.(They'll end up buying a condo here a few doors down from Grandpa.) "Walt said it was OK with him if you didn't mind" Jack says. I laugh. "Why would I object?" I ask. "He's going to do therapy with you, at least today" Jack says. "So" I answer. Jack kisses me.

I go to the study. Dr White is a handsome St Bernard. He's big. 6'7" and maybe 320 pounds. White and Brown fur. Drooping ears a thick bushy tail. Soft Brown eyes and a soft smile. He speaks to me. He has a soft English accent. He's a very sexy Dog. His deep Brown eyes and soft voice are comforting.

"Claude, you are overwhelmed." Jonas says. "No doubt about it, bad love affair, you came down here and were happy and you found your mates and then busted your ass to fix things for those you love" he says smiling. "You are a caring Lion, but you are the last one you think of" he says. And we talk a while. He's smart and he's given me good advice too. He also works me through my feelings of shame for upsetting my family so much. And we talk about why I'm currently obsessing over not knowing my Mom.

"A triad is an unusual thing, it is stressful in the beginning and you haven't spent enough time with your mates Claude, it's making you feel the pains stronger" Jonas says. "You're starting a new life with them, and things will be different, Claude." he says. "You need them and you don't see it, nor that it hurts you being away from them right now" he says softly. "Hopefully, very soon, you'll learn to go to them when you hurt or are sad, no matter how close you are to others, for the most part they are the only ones who can truly comfort you now" Jonas says. And we talk a bit more about triads, and my pains from losing Mom, and having been hurt by Wiley. And how I close myself off to avoid further pain. When I should open up to the many who love me.

When we're done, he smiles. "Did Jack ask you about us moving in?" he asks. "Yeah, and I'm fine with it" I say. "Claude, you were badly hurt and it kept eating at you and you kept working too hard fixing things, you don't need therapy, just relax, lean on your loving mates and those who love you, and quit trying to push life the way you think it should go." Jonas says. "You are loved, you should do things for those you love, but they'll love you even if you don't" he says smiling. "You can't make the world do anything, and you should just let go." He says. I hug him tightly. He murrs.

"Claude, we might have a problem" he says. "What?" I ask. "I want to fuck you rather badly, my mate's been at a conference for a week now, and I'm horny and well, you're the most beautiful Feline I've ever seen" he says. "It's not unethical?" I ask. "We're not doing therapy after this, I just let you talk things out and gave you some advice." he says. I smile. "I do kind of like being knotted and turned" I say smiling. He grins. "I've never turned someone, would you let me?" he asks. "I have asked your Bear and Horse and they said I could have you" Jonas says. "I'd tell them anyway, and yes I'll let you turn me" I say smiling. Jonas is grinning deeply.

He kisses me gently. I smile and I pull my clothes off. He strips. He's hot. White fur with Brown splotches. Thick up curving bushy tail. His forepaws are big, yet so tender when they touch me. He's got a big, fat Canine dick too. And his knot has already started to swell. He's horny alright. And I'm looking forward to this. I want him, and then I'm going to go spend the rest of the day with my mates. Curled up and fucking if they want me. Sex does relax me. I quickly ask Jonas about it.

"Sex is very relaxing and therapeutic for a lot of folks, Claude" Jonas said. I smile. "I want you and then I want to go lay with my mates and just let them love me" I say. Jonas kisses me. "It'd be the most therapeutic thing you could do, they love you so much, it was so obvious in how worried for you they were, and how upset they were that they didn't know how to help you, Claude" Jonas says softly. "I love them, it all kind of happened and right after we bonded Miguel things got so hectic and crazy" I say. Jonas smiles.

"When we're done go to them, tell them how much you need them, they need to hear that, Claude" Jonas says. "Really?" I ask. "Of course, they need to know that you do need them too, they love you, and they need you so much" Jonas says quietly. "They'll take you to them and show you how much they love you and need you" Jonas says softly. "Claude, you don't need therapy, you only need to accept your fear of loss, and of losing control, it sneaks up on you at times, and then you can't let in the love you have to know you've inspired in others" Jonas says. "I think they were a little hard on you, you do for others out of love, and you know you have money and resources that most don't, and it's how you show your love" Jonas says. I nod. He understands me, and I see why he's such a good Psychiatrist.

I smile at him "Jonas, thank you, now come here and let me see how you show your love" I say smiling. He's hard and twitching now. We embrace and kiss deeply. He's running those big paws up and down my body so tenderly. I purr to feel him seeking out my sensitive spots. We continue to kiss and his Canine dick is dripping precum on my belly. "Where would you like me, Jonas?" I ask. "On your knees right here" he pants. I get on my knees with my butt facing him. He's murring loudly.

"Jonas, you're a beautiful St Bernard and I want you" I say quietly. He grins. And he gets behind me. I can feel his slick cock tip at my ass ring. He's panting already. "Claude, I'm hot, and I don't think I"ll last long the first time" he says softly. "It's fine, you're gonna love turning me, Jonas" I say. "That's not going to help me last longer, Claude" he says drolly. "I've heard about it, and I've never done it, Claude, and I want to so badly, I'm hot for Felines as it is, and you are so beautiful and you want me so much" he says softly. "You have a gorgeous ass, Baby Lion" Jonas says. And he begins to gently push that huge Canine dick in me.

The pointed tip slips up me easily. And he murrs loudly. He pushes slowly but steadily up me. He stops at the top of his knot. And he begins to fuck me slowly. He's moaning. And he's leaning down and kissing me passionately. He's moving deeper in me and grunting loudly now. I push back and I feel his knot pop up me. He's swollen fully as soon as he's in me. And his knot is locking us together. He's grunting and cussing as his thrusts become erratic and shallow. "You're so hot and tight, Claude, please" he pants. "Cum in me, Jonas, put your puppies in my belly" I moan. He howls and I feel him gush hard up me. He's laying on my back now. Panting hard and sweating heavily.

"Claude, that was....amazing" he pants. "We're not done yet, Jonas" I say happily. He's nuzzling me. "I have a bit of a complex, Claude, I'm kind of sorry I'll never have kids, and your saying that, begging me to leave my pups in you, made me so fucking hot" he pants. "I'd have your litter, Jonas, proudly" I say quietly. He's grinning. "They'd be beautiful for sure, you're the most gorgeous Feline I've ever seen, Claude" Jonas says nuzzling me. "You're such a hot, masculine and handsome Canine, Jonas" I say smiling. He blushes. "I'm not, not even anywhere near your league" he says softly. "I might remind you that you're inside me and and top of me, and I'm about to show you how to turn someone, if I didn't think you were a hot Canine, you wouldn't be here right now" I say. He murrs loudly.

"What do we do?" he asks. "Push your hips forward, push in me a bit more, and then slowly put your right leg over my back until we're butt to butt" I say. "I don't want to hurt you" he says. "Don't worry Jonas you won't hurt me I promise" I say softly. "I"ve done this a lot and I love it" I say softly.

He gently pushes his hips into me as far as he can. And then he puts his right leg over my back and we're butt to butt. He's panting hard now. "Oh my fucking God" he pants as his body trembles hard with his first turning orgasm. His pulsing knot makes me spurt cum onto the rug. And it goes that way, he'll cum and then I will. Every two to three minutes. He's shaking and panting and he howls when he cums.

After 40 minutes his softened knot pops out of me. He pulls me to him and he kisses me repeatedly. "Thank you, Claude, I was horny, and I hoped you'd want me but I wouldn't coerce you" he says softly. "Jonas, I wanted you, I took you because I wanted to feel you inside of me, and I wanted to show you how to turn someone" I say kissing him. "I love being turned, Jonas, and I'll do you like that if you just ask me" I say softly. He kisses me. "I have to thank Jack, I wanted to help you cope, but you have such a wonderful way to thank someone" he pants. "Jonas, I like you, you're handsome and bright and witty" I say. He blushes.

"Claude, I will want you again, and my Malcolm is a versatile, I'd love you to show him how to take me so I can turn him too" He says shyly. "I will be glad to, Jonas" I say. He kisses me. "He'll be home tomorrow and we'll move in then, I know you'll be at work, and Jack's talked to Jorge and he and Miguel will help us move in" Jonas says gratefully. "Jonas, I'm glad we could help, you were kind enough to come help me" I say. He grins. "I was glad to, when Jack called me I figured I just needed to come help you figure out what to do" he says. I kiss him. "Go to your Bear and Horse, like I said tell them that you need them to comfort you" He says smiling. "You're quite a Dog, Jonas and I'm glad to have met you" I say. And I get up and pick up my clothes.

Jonas gets up and sits on the couch. I realize I have to talk to Grandpa about putting a Murphy bed in the study. But it can wait a while. I loved feeling Jonas turn me. But I need my Bear and my Horse now.

I run through the condo looking for them. I start to panic as I can't find them. Jack grabs me as I run through the kitchen. "Claude, what's wrong?" Jack asks. "I can't find Jorge or Miguel" I pant. Jack laughs. "You are too scared of loss, sit down" he says. (Not really, only partially, the reality is that they were away from me. The Bond between us is beginning to enforce itself on me. I'm not with them and I hurt.) I sit at the table with Jack. He smiles. "They went to the store with Walt, they knew you were in with Jonas" he says. Jonas walks in. "He panicked not finding his mates" Jack tells him. Jonas strokes my mane.

"It's OK, you had it all brought out thinking of your Mom" Jonas says. "Claude, you'll be fine now" he says softly. "Have faith, you are still overwhelmed, just do what I told you to when they come home, and don't be scared" Jonas says quietly. "Jack, he lost his mom early in life, and he never really knew her, his Dad couldn't get past his own pain, and he knows her only from what Walt told him about her" Jonas says. "That plus that asshole Wolf made him sensitive," Jonas says. "You'll get over it quickly, Claude, just have faith in your mates, you will never be truly alone in a triad, they will never leave, they can't, or did your friends not tell you?" Jonas asks. "No, apparently they didn't" I say softly. "Call them?" Jack asks. I nod. And I do call Mick.

"Claude, you sound upset" Mick says quietly. And I tell him everything. Mick is quiet. "I am sorry, I never told you that, and I should have, I know how you lost your Mom, Claude, I'm so sorry, me boy" Mick says quietly. "Your Miguel and Jorge can't leave you, relax and think of them, can't your feel their hearts still?" Mick asks. I take a deep breath and as I relax, I can feel Jorge and Miguel's hearts. I feel like a fool as I'm beginning to see how we're bonding.

"Claude, in your loneliest or darkest moments, think of them and close your eyes, you'll feel their hearts, you'll feel their love for you comforting you" Mick says quietly. "I feel so stupid, Mick" I say softly. "No, me boy, you didn't know, you had a lot of stress and you needed them, and they were gone, life will keep you apart at times, but this is the side benefit, you'll always know how much you're loved" Mick says softly. "Mick, thank you, I'm so glad you love me and are there for me" I say. "Claude, you've done so much for me and my Guys, of course I'll help, so would Carl and Mac" he says. "Your life has changed, you have two hearts bonded to you, you have some things yet to learn and a lot to get used to, we can help a bit, but it will be a bit different for you three than it was for us," Mick says softly. "I told you it would be difficult at first, didn't I?" He asks. "You did" I say.

"Claude, you'll do fine, no one is perfect, there will be some stumbling at first, and you might have to deal with them jockeying for Alpha" Mick says."We both have already told Jorge he's our Alpha" I say. Mick laughs. "It is a help, if there are no power struggles it'll ease your way" Mick says."Did you and Carl fight over it?" I ask. "Hell yeah, me boy, we damn near had an old fashioned Bull fight" Mick says laughing.

"Talk to me, boy" Mick says softly. And I sit and I tell him as much as I can remember about this weekend and the pains of today. "Me poor lad, you pushed too much, ye St Bernard is right, you need to go curl up and get comfort and strength from your mates" Mick says. "It's one of the good things about a triad, Claude, they can comfort you like no one else, sounds like they tried to earlier" Mick says. "Soon, the three of you were learn each other, and figure out how to play to one another's strengths" Mick says softly. "Just know, when hurting or unsure or upset, find them, or one of them, they are what you need most then, me boy" Mick says softly. "I almost wish you guys were here, I'm beginning to see just how much about this I don't know, you guys made it look so easy" I say. "When we met, we'd all been together three years, me boy, the toughest part is the first year or two, we'd already been through it"Mick says quietly.

"Try to calm down now, Claude" Jonas says softly. "He's agreeing with me, calm down and go to them when they come home" Jonas says. "Claude, you'll all make mistakes in the beginning, you were just the first to do so, and you'll make more, they will too, just remember how much you love them and how much they love you, and that nothing is more important than the bond the three of you have formed" Mick says. "We'll always be here to help you, you'll have to sort some of it out yourselves but we can help, and you know your Bulls and their Bobcat love you, and we'd do anything for you" Mick says quietly. "Thank you, Mick, I do feel better" I say. "It's one reason we were so happy you bonded both of them, it's nice to know others understand" Mick says. "You already see how tight the bond is, and how much love comes from it, and you'll soon know the ups and downs like we do" Mick says. I laugh. "You do sound better" he says. "I forgot how much my Bulls do love me" I say. "You'd better never forget that, we'd do anything for our Lion" Mick says softly. I laugh.

"Claude, I did tell you, it'll be a bit rough in the beginning, but anything worth having is worth the work, you'll see the rewards soon enough, but I think you already have started to see them" Mick says.

"You hurt as you're letting go of the old way of being, you have bonded tightly to them, they obvious have to each other, aren't they spending a lot of time together now?" Mick asks. I think a minute. "They are" I say. "You have to be away at times, you always will, but you used to say you loved how much we all loved spending time with each other" Mick says. "You will too, you're being pulled to each other hard now, you're fighting it on some level, you have so many who love you, and you can find that balance Claude" Mick says."Your big Leonine heart will lead you to sort it out, but you're going to need to spend a lot more time with them now" Mick says quietly. Mick's quiet. "You've been hurt and might be resisting just a little bit, Claude, let go when you can, let them in, it can be scary at first, I know it was for me" Mick says quietly.

"You'll sort it out, Claude, no one's expecting you to give up all of those you're close to, you've simply been so pulled you haven't spent as much time with your mates as you need to" he says. "It's further stressing you, when you're upset you'll learn to go to them, you can talk to the others that you love, but go to them first" Mick says. "Mick, thank you, I"m so glad you understand" I say quietly.

"It's nice to know we can help, you've done so much for us in the past, we're happy to be able to help you, and like I said already, it'll be nice to have another triad around, once you get more established as a triad you'll know our joys and our pains, and we'll be able to share it openly, few understand except those of us in one" Mick says. "But you did, with us, you knew, it's why we cherish you so much" Mick says. "Go find them the minute they get home, and try to spend as much time as you can with them for now, I know you start work tomorrow, but still, come home and be with them" Mick says. "I will, thank you so much, I miss you and I will be happy when you guys come down and you can meet my Bear and Horse" I say.

"I can hear it in your voice now, you love them like I love Carl and Mac" he says softly. "I hope so" I say. "Claude, it was rough for us too, but it's kind of nice to think of those days, you'll remember them fondly too one day" Mick says. "Call us if you need us again, Claude" Mick says. "Thank you, I will" I say. He hangs up. Jonas kisses me. "He's right, Claude, you should look up triads sometime soon, I know Miguel did, he told me, and I think Jorge did too" he says. "Your life has changed, you're going to need them more than you've ever needed anyone before" Jonas says.

"You've run yourself ragged and you didn't spend as much time with them as you should have, and you're feeling it now." Jonas says. "I'm going to go home and pack, have Jack call me if you need me" Jonas says and he leaves. Jack kisses me. "You do too much, Walt's told me that already, but he's never known how to get you to back down, and he also likes it, he told me how much he loves having you here and how you livened things up" Jack says.

"Jack, I know, I pushed to do a lot of things this weekend, I don't usually go all out like that"I say. "But you didn't take care of yourself, just like your Dad said your Mom didn't" Jack says. "Jack, I know that, I get what Mick meant, my main focus should be on my Bear and Horse, I have to find the proper balance, of caring for everyone else I love and making my Jorge and Miguel my main priorities" I say "Nothing means more to me than they do" I say softly. "Glad to hear that, mi amo leone" Jorge says happily. He kisses me. Miguel hugs me too.

"We spoke to Jonas as he left, and he told us about your call to your Bull, we had come to the same conclusions" Jorge says. He leans over and kisses Jack. "Thank you for caring for him so, and for helping him, he listens to you, and that is important" Jorge says softly. My Grizzly is happy now. "We will finish bringing in the groceries and then we will go curl up and talk" Jorge says. Miguel nods. And they go off.

Jack's smiling. "You do listen to me" he says. "I do, I do respect your opinions, after all you were smart enough to see what a prize my Grandpa is, Jack" I say quietly. "Walt says you're as stubborn as you are loving" Jack says softly. I sigh. Jack laughs. "You've been through a lot in such a short time, Claude" Jack says. I nod. "Jorge and Miguel are who you need now" he says. Jorge brings in some bags of groceries. Jack gets up and starts to put them away. Miguel comes in with some too. They put them down. Grandpa kisses the back of my mane. "You feel better, Boy" he says. "Yes, Grandpa" I say. Grandpa pulls me into his study.

"Claude, I know you hurt from not knowing your Mom, but you can't keep fixating on it" Grandpa says. "Grandpa please, enough, I've heard way too much today about what I'm doing wrong and how I've fucked up" I snort. "If you don't want me here, I'll quit and take my guys with me to California" I say trying not to get mad. I'm still overwhelmed. Grandpa's tearing up.

"I don't want you to leave, Claude, I was worried about how pained you were" Grandpa says quietly. "I know, Grandpa" I say hugging him. "I know I pushed too hard, I should have just stayed to my mates on our first full day together, but I can't undo what I've done, Jonas and Mick and your Jack helped me see what I need to do now, let me move forwards, please Grandpa" I say softly. I hug him tighter. "I know you're worried for me" I say quietly.

"I know I'll feel sad about Mom from time to time, you miss her, but you raised her, Dad was with her for so long, even Rory knew her more than I did, it's not something I can change" I say. "I know so little, I really only know her through what you told me, and I know it had to hurt to recollect so much about her," I say. "Claude, not a day goes by that I don't think about her or my Edith" Grandpa says. I nod. "Grandpa, I was very emotional, more so than normal, I had so many things pulling on me and I tried so hard to deal and help others, I put myself and my needs aside, but I'm not going to do that anymore" I say. "Jonas spent time helping me see what I needed as did Jack and my Bull friend Mick, who explained a lot about triads, I hadn't done any research though I know Jorge and Miguel did" I say quietly. "My guys have to be my main focus now, for my own sake" I say. "I love you Grandpa, and I'll always do anything for you or for Jack. but I have to take care of myself and my mates" I say. "I am worried about Nigel's mom but I can't do anything, Dad will do what he can" I say. "Rory dumped his fears on me, that I didn't love him and that I was leaving for good, I've been pulled on a lot" I say. "I didn't react very well, but all I can do is learn and move on, this is a whole new way of life for me, I'm bonded very tightly to my Jorge and my Miguel" I say softly.

Grandpa nods. "I know, you were pretty stressed when you came down, but you relaxed with me" Grandpa says. "I did, my Grandpa loves me so much, and you needed me too" I say. "I did, I was really lonely Claude, and I'm happy now, I feel bad that you got even more stressed helping me among others" Grandpa says quietly. "Grandpa, I don't blame you or anyone, it was my fault, I have to learn to reorient my priorities" I say softly. "You are one of my priorities Grandpa, you and my mates and those closest to me, Dad, Rory, Nigel, my Bulls and their Bobcat" I say. "I love a lot of animals, and I have to be ready to help them, but I should wait to be asked, and not just do things." I say. "I should let things happen as they are meant to, just because I know what is to happen from Edward, doesn't mean I have to make it happen, silly to think I never saw something that simple" I tell Grandpa. He kisses me. "You have started to grow up a lot" he says softly. "I have to think of myself, I can't hurt my Guys like Dad or you were hurt, I can only do so much, Grandpa, and I know I need to learn to take care of myself too, and it'll be hard, but I know if I listen to you, and Jack, and my mates, and a few others I can learn to" I say.

I hug him. "I would do anything for you, Grandpa, anything you needed or wanted me to, and now you have a mate, someone I think very highly of" I say laying my head on Grandpa's chest. Grandpa smiles. "I think I see now, Claude" he says softly. We sit and talk a bit more. He kisses me. "I will always love and need my Granddaddy though" I say holding him tightly. Grandpa nuzzles my mane. "I'm sorry you hurt, but I'm so glad you came, that you're here now, Boy" Grandpa says softly. I nod. "I am too, like I told Rory, when you asked me to come, I knew right away being with you was what I needed, and you loved me as I needed to be loved, Grandpa, I have no words for how much it meant to me, nor how much I do love you" I say quietly.

"Go to your mates, you need them, they love you so much, we've talked today, they know how you are, and you need to read up on triads and put it together with what that Irish Bull told you" Grandpa says. I kiss him.

Jorge and Miguel are watching a ball game. I need them but Grandpa is right. I need to do some research. I go boot up my laptop. And I Google triad bonding. And I sit and go through the entries. I'm getting quite an education. Mick was right. We'll be pulled together whenever possible. We'll be driven to be together, if not all three of us, then two at a time. But we will all be driven to return to each other. Mick was right in that we can't leave. We could go away, but eventually we'd be drawn back together. I'd always thought a triad or a joint bond was a loose one, but it's the tightest possible bond that exists. And that brings me comfort. But I am thinking Mick was right, a small part of me is fighting the bond, it's a total bonding and I have to let them both in completely. And my fear of loss and of loss of control is hampering me. I need to let them in completely. As they have each other and desperately want me to do. I have to let go of so much. I want to belong to my guys totally.

And I see that I should have spent more time with them at first. It won't affect our bond, but it makes it a lot harder on me. It would explain why I was so off balance emotionally. Only one thing has really kept me from having a nervous breakdown. It's why Mick told them to both take me at once. It gave us a bit of a 'head start' on getting through the initial stages of the bond. I came pretty close to breaking down as it was.

And I read through the 'stages' of the triad bond development. I know now, Miguel bonded us all together when he fucked me in the back room of Jorge's bar. We're lucky in a way. It could have broken apart before it even started. Jorge and I had just bonded. We hadn't taken Miguel to us for well over a day. I was pulled so much and hadn't spent a lot of time with my Bear and Horse. I feel so bad now. I have so much to make up to my Jorge and Miguel for.

I finish reading the entries. Good news if I haven't broken us apart. I've been really focused on what I was reading to the point where I jump when I feel a kiss on the back of my mane. Jorge is grinning at me. "You are only just now reading this ?" he asks. I nod."I've talked a lot to Mick and Carl" I say. "What did they tell you?" he asks. And I explain to my Grizzly about what Mick told me. He smiles. "They must love you, they seem so happy for us" Jorge says. "They know how happy we could be if we get fully established as a triad, my love" I say. Jorge grins.

"We know, mi amo, we called them while you were in here reading'"Miguel says walking in. "Claude, we have passed through to the third stage already, Jorge and I have spent almost all of our time together, and you have been here, you hurt because you were not with us, Mick's idea for us to take you together helped you, and we have much fucking to do to tighten our bonding, but you did not damage our bonds, we love our Lion still" Miguel says softly, and he gently kisses me..

"You were stressed so much, and we see how we have to protect you, even from yourself" Jorge says softly. "Walt told us what you said, you are on the right track, we simply must help you now, I was thrilled to hear that you said we are your first priorities," he says softly. "You need us as much as we need you" Jorge says softly. "You try so hard to help those you love, and you forget about yourself, well, we won't allow that anymore" Jorge says. "Our bond, and the three of us, are the most important things in your world now" Jorge says. Miguel nods. "You were torn between us and what you felt your responsibilities to your family were" Jorge says. "You must learn and you will, the bond itself will enforce that" Jorge says. I hang my head. "I am sorry, I did not heed our Alpha, and I didn't honor the pull back to my mates." I say sadly. Jorge grins. "You're thinking in the right direction now" Miguel says laughing. "Guys I am sorry" I say softly. "Claude, this is new territory for all three of us, we were caught up in the almost blinding joy of our love for one another, think it out, we were tight from the moment we came back out to the bar after I took you" Miguel says quietly. "The way you'd call me 'my Horse' thrilled me to my very soul, Claude" Miguel says softly. "It felt right to me too, Claude, I'd hear it and think, he's my Horse too, as you were my Lion" Jorge says proudly.

Jorge smiles. "You will mind me, and stay with me and our Horse, when you are not at work, for now." he says firmly. "You spend every moment you can with us, we know how you love your family, but you are ours now" Jorge says.

I nod. "Have you finished reading?" Miguel asks. I nod. Miguel reaches down and shuts off my laptop. Jorge picks me up and carries me to our bed. Miguel is stripping quickly. And when Jorge lays me on the bed and he pulls at his clothes until his big Grizzly body is also naked. He claws my shorts and top off.

"Jack will cook tonight, and we will eat soon, but you are at our sides all of the time until I tell you otherwise, we will go to sleep in time for you to get up, and Miguel and I will take you to work and bring you home for now, also until I tell you otherwise" Jorge says looking into my eyes. He's got what I'll come to know as his 'I gave you an order' look. Miguel is smiling. "Yes, Daddy Bear" I say meekly. "It is good" he says smiling.

And they take their time. Both nuzzling and licking me all over. I moan as I feel their love for me. "Our Lion needs tending as he tends to those he loves" Miguel says softly. Jorge smiles at me. His eyes show how deeply he loves me. More so then when he first fell for me. Things have been stressful but we'll adapt and adjust. This is all new to us. But if we lean on each other we can find our way There is so much love passing between the three of us right now.