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When I was a boy, Father would take me to the Bazaar with him.

I always loved going to the Bazaar. It was a yearly event that went on for a fortnight, and I would always jump for joy when the time grew near. There were just so many things to see and do. Everyone was at the Village Centre all day and night, with their stalls set up and their own reasons for being there. I was always left in awe of the things I could see there. There were merchants selling their finest goods from all over the realm. Music would play day and night. There were plays, games, shows, food, all of it. And at night, all the pretty lights would shine and the music would play all night long. You could see lovers dancing, families talking, or even men on their lonesome with smiles on their faces. It was everything I wanted all in one place.

Father always had to be there, being the Chief and all, as he was the one to start the Bazaar and end it. He was there to bless victors of contests, watch the contests, buy the goods from the merchants, all of that. He enjoyed himself and, in turn, the Tribe knew that he was there for them and had their best interests at heart. He was very busy during the Bazaar, though, so whenever he brought me there, he would shoo me away and told me to play with the other children, to make friends and enjoy the Bazaar to the fullest.

So that was what I did. I would run all across the Village Centre until I found children my age, one way or another, and play with them. Only a few stayed to be friends with me throughout the years. There was Bulan, a small, skinny boy with wits on his side; Alon, a singer with a lyre from the Three Kingdoms, and the first boy I fell in love with; and Jaime, a lion who said he came from the Kingdom of Fyrn, who was formidable with the sword. We played with one another and became friends soon enough. I would tell Father all about it through dinner, the things I did with them, the adventures I had, all of it. Mother told me when I was older that she was concerned that Father would've dismissed me because he had little tolerance for follies, but he didn't. He was all smiles and was always encouraging when I told my stories.

It went on like tradition for me, and I was so happy telling him the things I did, the friends I made, and the sights I saw. But on my eighth name day, after the Bazaar finished, Father put me aside. He looked me in the eye and told me, "Kol, I love you, and I want you to be happy, like all the other children, and I am glad that you are enjoying yourself, but remember that you are going to be Chief one day, and you will have to act like one."

I wouldn't say things changed after that. Father still took me to the Bazaar. Let me play with the children, allowed me to be a child. But I realized that was not his point. I grew older, but my follies from when I was little remained, and I had to curb it should I become Chief. He didn't expect me to act like him at the age of eight, but he wanted me to know that the expectations were there. Better to get it over with, I thought. Better start now, I told myself. So I started acting like Father, but at the expense of the things I wanted to do with my life. There were still so many things I wanted to do, but Father made it clear. I do not despise him for that. I was going to be Chief one day, and I had to start acting like one.

So there I was, standing outside the Great Hall, donning my best clothes and awaiting my name to be called. During the ceremony, he is not to come inside the Great Hall unless the shaman says, "However, time marches on, and eventually, one must pass his duty to another. A father to his son." I appreciated that. It gave me time to think. As I stood there, I thought back to those times, when I was just a boy, enjoying my life without a care in the world, but with the burden of leading the Tribe already on my shoulders. It weighed on me as I grew older. I didn't catch up to it in time, but I grew distant the more the time of my being Chief grew closer. The people I used to joke around with, I grew cold to. The friends I had, I kept at an arm's length. It seemed that I was going to be the loneliest man in the realm once I become Chief.

That was, until I met Kit.

I could still remember that night. It was a terrible winter, but thanks to Father and his council, we kept everyone fed and sheltered until the end of it. Father decided to join the scouts on their patrol to ease his fears for something I did not know. I expected him to come back with relief on his face, but instead, he came back with his hands on the shoulders of a timber wolf. From what I've heard, timber wolves were large people, intimidating even in childhood. They were the strongest of the three peoples that settled in our forest. The timber wolf in front of me was a small and skinny, reaching only to my shoulders despite being my age. He was shivering from the cold, tail between his legs and kept his gaze firmly on the floor. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was a coyote because of how short he was, but timber wolf he was through and through.

Father told me that he was the only timber wolf left, and he was going to take him in as his ward. I admit, I didn't like Kit at first. He kept to himself and simply refused to speak unless coaxed into it. He wasn't as witty and adventurous as Bulan, as dreamy as Alon, or as headstrong as Jaime. But I was lonely, and I didn't find any gain in being cold to him, so I accepted him into the household, and treated and cared for him like a brother would.

I didn't know when I changed in how I saw Kit, but one day, I did not have to put in the effort to be a friendly face, because I already was. I cared for him, wanted to keep him safe, wanted him to have what I had. He was a dear friend to me, and over time, that feeling went on to become something else.

"However, time marches on, and eventually, one must pass his duty to another. A father to his son." I heard the shaman through the double doors, and I straightened my posture and kept a blank face. I counted to three, and the double doors opened. The first thing I saw was the throne at the end of the hallway. Father was standing in front of the throne and the shaman was beside him. There was a straight path in front of me with the people on both sides. All of them were looking at me, and I felt the dread crawling up my spine. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, then began walking.

The Great Hall was deathly silent, save for my footsteps. It seemed as if they all held their breaths, waiting for what I might've done or the mistakes I might've made. Perhaps I was paranoid. Perhaps I was nervous because this was the day I both looked forward to and dreaded, and the one day I could never forgive myself shall I make a mistake. Perhaps it was because I was going to be Chief, and these people's lives were all dependent on the choices I made. Either way, all these thoughts weren't going to help, so I thought of something else.

Kit had kept something from all but Father when he was first taken in. He was talented at keeping secrets, but Father's trainers taught me well, so I found out soon enough. I tailed him at the edge of the village one night to find him with blood on his hands. At first I thought he was injured, but I went closer to find him unharmed, but covered in blood that was not his. He noticed I was there and ran for the woods. He eventually came back, and I never told anyone what I saw. But I knew what he was.

I was always told that blood magic was dangerous because it manipulated blood and raised the dead. Unlike the other magics, it can be used to harm another, and it has. I was told of stories of those born with blood magic who have tortured those whose blood they could get, murdered those they could, and brought the dead back to life. They and those beyond the valley were the reason we have the Seven Tribes and not a Kingdom. So, even though I have never seen one, I swore to drive them all away should they ever appear within the Tribe once I become Chief.

But that sentiment never came with Kit. As much as I despised blood magic, I could not bring myself to hate him. All I saw was a small, sickly boy who had nowhere to go and no one to call a friend. I talked to Father about it, and he said he knew all along. I asked him why he accepted us into his tribe, and he never gave me a clear answer. He only said, "Everyone deserves a chance to live," and left it at that. I was unsatisfied with it, yet I did my best to ignore it and let Kit stay. Over time, I learned to accept Kit for who he is.

And then I fell in love with him.

I stopped just a few yards away from the throne, with Father beside me and the shaman in front of me. The people were all behind me, watching my back, and I imagined that they weren't. It was hard to, but I still tried. Judging by the endless rehearsals, this was going to continue for quite a while, and I hoped it was going to be faster.

"We have descended from the Great Kingdom of the Forests," the shamans declared to everyone in the Hall. "Its stone walls may have fallen, but its legacy has lived on through the Seven Tribes. We, the Tribe Baruk, have descended from Isko Baruk, who was known for his discipline, and upholding justice, and his love for music. We carry his legacy through the Chief."

She gestured to the Chief. "But just as every Chief is chosen one day, so will he pass on this burden to another. This is to ensure that the Tribe lives on for tomorrow, as the young carried what was once his father's, and he knows what the path forward entails. So on this day, the sun will set on Isagani Baruk's reign as Chief."

Father knelt down and bowed. The shaman went over to him and, with both hands, she gently took off the crown off his head. It was a crown made of bronze and iron, as are the minerals used in tools and weapons needed for this tribe to prosper. The crown was smooth, a plain circle save for a spike with a gem in front. I used to borrow it from Father and would run around, playing Chief. There were times were Kit would come in and play pretend with me, acting either as advisor or captain of the guard. The thought of it made me miss him more.

The shaman then carried it as if it was fragile and raised it in the air for all to see. I knelt down and bowed my head. The shaman walked toward me and placed the crown on my head. It was warm and it fit snugly. When the shaman backed away, I stood up and turned to face the crowd. I kept my gaze on the door, but I took a glance at everyone in the room. I saw the faces of the people I came across when I walked around the Village. Then the faces of my friends. I looked some more, but I was looking for someone else. I know I wouldn't see him, but I still tried. Kit was nowhere to be found.

Kit was incarcerated the week before. The Village discovered what he was, and according to our law, he must be arrested. I should've known he would try to impress me, as he always did. I never should've made him try harder. I could still see the whip hitting his back and the blood flowing out of his wounds. His cries broke my heart, and the tribe mocking him made me resent them. What hurt more was that it was my fault, and there was nothing I could do about that.

I could have him pardoned, however. Make him stay in the tribe. The odds were not in my favor in that decision. Kit is what he is and his actions have injured people. The people were already against that decision, but I never thought Kit was against that as well. His reasons brought another dagger to my heart. I was careless and neglectful. I should have known how worthless he felt, how out of place he was in this tribe, but I ignored all of it because I was too lovesick to care. Father told me on my fifth name day that I should think of others when I make my decisions, that I had to make sacrifices. It was only lately that I decided to go against that. When I declared to wed Kit, the Tribe as well as the other Tribes were wary of that since I was the only child and two men cannot bear a child. I could make do with the situation, as it was a relatively minor issue and can be solved through a few arrangements.

This one was different. People viewed him as a threat, and they had every right to see him as that. Recent history was still fresh in their minds and they were still fearful for the likes of Kit. Even if they were wrong, knowing that Kit will stay will lead to sleepless nights, and would lead to unrest. Kit agreed with them, for reasons of his own. It was what I wanted against what the rest of the tribe wanted. Even Kit.

So, I had a decision. I could continue to be selfish and let Kit stay, to face the consequences and the tribulations that were there for me, as well as against Kit's wishes. Or I could let Kit go, making another sacrifice in a long list of sacrifices, to ease the Tribe's fears and give Kit what he desired. To set straight to my follies and force me to act like a Chief. It was clear what I should do, but in the end, I had the decision to follow that.

So that was what I did.

The shaman walked beside me and gestured to the crowd. "Brethren, Chief Kol Baruk!"

***

The celebration after the ceremony happened at the Village Centre once the moon showed its face. The people expected a grandiose festival, such as fitting for my becoming Chief. Instead, it was more akin to a simple feast with tables, food, and an open area in the middle where the people can dance to the music around the fire. It wouldn't be out of place from a simple get-together. The feast was simple on my orders. There was no need to throw a lavish party on account of my becoming Chief. I was always told that such grand gestures attempt to rival the gods and the gods should not be rivaled. I chose to live by it even if I wasn't as religious as the others. Other than that, it simply felt like a slap in the face to me to have a celebration so grand it hurt. I looked at the people around me, at their smiles, their laughter, and their joy. They were content, and that is what matters to me.

For the feast, there were several tables, all placed in a circle. People may sit wherever they pleased, save for one table, which was reserved for the Chief, his kin, and his closest friends... as well as whomsoever he chose to be on his table. At my table, there were Father and Mother, Pagtugon, Bulan, Alon, and Jaime. Father and Mother were my kin, Pagtugon was going to be the future Captain, and it'd be best for me to be acquainted with him. Bulan will be my advisor, and Jaime was going to be my guard. As for Alon... well, I liked having him around. Either way, all the people I wish to be at my table were there, complete with food and drink. But even if that was the case, I was still lonely.

"He had his dagger right at my throat, I tell you. Right at my throat!" Jaime said, complete with gestures. He was doing his favorite pastime at the dinner table: telling his many adventures with much enthusiasm. To the point that his foot was on the table and his fists were clenched. "But even if they may be formidable to a commoner, it was child's play for someone like me. And the gods damn me if I couldn't put down a simple bandit. So with one swipe, I took the dagger off his hands and brought him to the floor! He was arrested, and I could have all the ale I wanted."

Jaime loved telling his stories to people, no matter who they might be. I must admit, they were quite the adventures. He never seemed to have a dull day in his life. However, as much as they made the people cheer for him and revere him, we at the table simply nodded at his story.

"Gods above. All this over a few coppers," Alon said, taking a sip of his wine as if nothing had happened.

"I thought you of all people understand the value, even in coppers." Jaime seemed to have calmed down to take a seat. "We would have settled the matter cordially were it not for him unsheathing his dagger. He was aimed to kill, so I had to defend myself. No, I did not kill him if that is what concerns you. I simply gave him a good lesson and something to remember me by."

"Yes, yes. Such a good fight. You are the very best," Bulan said dismissively.

The lion looked at all of us as though we had betrayed him. "What happened? I thought you enjoyed my stories."

"Oh, we do," Bulan said. "But this was not one of your best. We loved your stories of your tourneys all over the realm, but those were knights. Do you expect us to cheer you on when you win a spar against one of the trainees?"

"You said it yourself. Bandits are inexperienced compared to knights," Alon said. "What you did might be noble, but it's not admirable."

"Oh, come on." Jaime sighed.

"Let us give him some merit," I said. "He stood his ground and defended himself. Other than that, he completed what I sought him out to do. We should commend that."

And just like that, it was as if all of his wishes came through. "See? Our dear Chief understands! The lack of emotion might be underwhelming, but I'm not one to refuse a gift."

"You're welcome. Now would you like to have a tourney in your honor? With you against the trainees?"

Jaime glared at me, and everyone at my table laughed. The lion eventually shook his head and laughed along with us. It was the same dance we had been doing for so many years now, and Jaime knew every step. Besides, what is friendship without some healthy jesting?

"Why don't we talk about something else? Something more relevant?" Bulan said, turning to me. "Chief Kol. I admit, it is strange for me to utter those words, but I will grow used to it. Anyway, you are Chief now. I imagine it is quite invigorating, is it not?"

"I feel a lot of things at the moment," I said. "But I cannot tell what they are."

"Is it the responsibilities of being Chief weighing down your spirit, pray tell?" Alon said, then he gestured to my cup with his. "Then if so, I would suggest you drink some more. With enthusiasm as lively as yours, no wonder this feast bores me to tears."

"I wholeheartedly agree." Jaime took a swig out of his cup. "Tonight is held in your honor. Live a little! Don't tell me that the Kol that won every drinking contest and danced with all the men in the feasts is gone now that you have that crown on your head."

"That Kol is still around. But I prefer if I act like a Chief, seeing that I now am one." I turned to Father, who was beside me. "Is that not right, Father?"

"As you should," Father said. "It is what is proper, and it is what is expected. I have taught you well."

"Your father is playing you like a fiddle," Mother said. "His celebration was the most grand I've ever seen in my life and he cavorted around the feast, drinking and dancing as if he were to die tomorrow. I am sure that if he weren't in love with me, then he would have fathered a bastard that night."

Father looked at Mother incredulously. "Daneya!"

"Oh hush. Someone had to tell your son."

"Don't worry, Mother. I knew Father was lying," I said. "But I still choose to act this way of my own reasons."

"Good. It's about time someone acted like a Chief."

That elicited a few chuckles around the table, then Mother and Father. Before Father could say something, Mother stood up, grabbed Father by the arm, and pulled her away. "Come now. We should let the young to themselves. Kol, enjoy your feast the way your Father did."

"I will do, Mother." With that, I watched Mother and Father walk toward the table where the elders were.

"I, too, should take my leave," Pagtugon said. "Excuse me, Chief."

I nodded at him, and he walked away. That left me, Alon, Bulan, and Jaime on the table.

"Now that they are gone," Jaime said. "Kol! What are you going to do tonight? The three of us already have made plans."

"Oh? And what are those plans?"

Jaime opened his mouth, but Bulan interrupted him. "It is long and complicated story, but let us say that we have found three women from our travels that we would spend the rest of the night with. It can get very lonely during the feasts and we have not been taught much dances involving one."

I had a lot of things to say about that, but I kept quiet about it. "And why are you here right now?"

"It's not proper for us to be enjoying ourselves while our dearest friend, Chief Kol Baruk, is all by his lonesome," Alon said. "We're here to urge you to enjoy yourself. Drink more, dance to the music. Like everyone here has said already, it is your feast, and you should enjoy it. Now lighten up before your straight face sours the mood."

Alon was clearly gesturing to my wine, which has been untouched throughout the feast. With a sigh, I grabbed the cup and downed the damn drink in one go. The three cheered at me in varying ways. Bulan went off and came back with more wine, filling my cup and urging me to drink more. I did. Before I knew it, I was smiling. We were laughing and talking about the things we did and our little adventures. I enjoyed my time there, to the point that I didn't notice when the girl in Jaime's lap came to the table. She was a tiger, all smiles and gaze fixated on the floor. Every now and then, Jaime would whisper something in her ear and the girl would giggle. It seemed as if it would be another girl in Jaime's escapades. It also seemed that I was staring a little too hard because they had begun to notice.

"Is it me or is Kol a little jealous of Jaime here?" Alon said.

Jaime looked at me as if he never knew I was there. "Oh! Kol. This is one of the women we were talking about. She's beautiful, isn't she?"

The girl caved in on herself, waving with a shy smile. "Hello, Chief," she murmured.

"Hello," I said.

"Never knew you liked women too," Jaime said.

"My preferences haven't changed, sadly," I said.

"You could have fooled us," Bulan said. "From the way you looked at the two of them, it's as if you wanted her for yourself."

"I could find you someone too," Jaime said. He then leaned forward, as if he had the most important things to say. "I know this man. Broad shoulders, thick arms, and it really hurt to punch him. He is a queer case, that man. He preferred both the company of men and women. At the same time, too. He said to me time and time again that nights like these get incredibly lonely, so if you want, I could maybe bring him over to--"

"I have no interest in men at the moment," I said. "Especially not a man who only sees me as a bed-warmer."

And just like that, the mood had changed. Alon and Bulan's gaze fell to the floor and the smile on Jaime's face disappeared. The girl on Jaime's lap apologized and got up. Jaime whispered something in her ear, patting her rear as she left. It was hard to feel guilty with the way they looked at each other. I looked around me. Everyone was in a jolly mood. People were chatting and laughing, there were dances, everyone had a smile on their faces. It comforted me knowing that they were at ease at the moment. Though, I wish I could say the same to myself. I looked around me, at the golden retrievers that made up the tribe, then the outsiders like Jaime, who evidently weren't originally part of this tribe because of their species. I saw them mingling with the people of the tribe. They laugh and jest because it did not matter who they were. It warmed the heart for anyone who saw, but the sight of it hurt me. Kit was just like Jaime, yet they would never treat him the same way. The very fact that he wasn't at the feast was enough of a reminder.

I wish Kit were here.

I sighed. "I'm sorry. That was unbecoming of me."

"It is all right," Jaime said. "I should have thought of the situation you are in right now."

Alon and Bulan voiced their agreements.

I looked at the people around the feast again. My eyes went to two golden retrievers in front of the fire, arms wrapped around each other and dancing. They were both men, and the look in their eyes told me exactly what they were feeling.

I stood up. "May you excuse me? I need some time alone."

"You do not need our permission," Alon said, a smile on his face. "You are the Chief now."

I smiled back. "I forgot. Now, if you excuse me."

I walked away from the Village Centre, and when I was out of sight and out of earshot, I let out a deep sigh. I hadn't noticed it, but I was keeping up a front in front of all of them, ever since the start of the ceremony. It was exhausting, but if I were to keep doing this, I should get used to it.

I walked across the village. It was quiet here, as all of them are in the Village Centre. I looked around at the houses and the stores, and remembered my time as a boy, walking around the village with Father. Then I thought of the Kit, when we were younger and I was introducing him to the village. There was this time when I bought him a dish to see how well he could handle spices. He took it in stride, and I was disappointed, but he loved it, and the smile on his face made me smile as well.

I also remembered how aloof I was to him when I first discovered what Kit was. It took several moons for me to accept him, but the damage had already grown its roots. But that was because Father taught me to be accepting of things we didn't understand, new ideas and concepts that seemed too far out. I was naive to think that the tribe would think the same way. They were always wary of outsiders trying to integrate themselves into the tribe, which, in turn, should be clear to me about how they will treat Kit. It took the tribe to beat Kit until he was battered and bruised for me to learn that lesson. He was right. This tribe will never see him as one of their own.

"I'm sorry, Kit," I said to the wind.

Wiping the tears away from my eyes, I went toward the hospice. I looked around, but the healer didn't seem to be around. It was understandable, considering there were no tribesmen in need of healing. Gently, I closed the door and went inside. I walked toward one of the rooms, took a deep breath, and went inside. And there, on the bed, was a sleeping timber wolf.

The sight of him eased a few of my worries. I never knew how much he eased my worries until I almost lost him. It gave me a new perspective on things, things I had never considered. I just wished it didn't have to come to that, but I learned that there were some things that were just out of my reach. As quietly as I could, I neared him. He was sleeping on his belly, naked, with only a blanket covering his rear. He was breathing deeply, evident by the rising and falling of his back. His back was littered with wounds. Angry red wounds. Some were barely noticeable, but others could be seen from far away. As I looked closely, I could see the red receding. He was left untreated for a week and his wounds grew seriously infected. Our healer managed to quell the infection, but it seemed that she could only do so much.

I sat on the chair beside the bed and I looked at his face. He looked so peaceful in his sleep, and I didn't want to wake him up. It didn't work, because his eyes fluttered open as soon as I brushed his fur. Once he woke up, his eyes darted around, as if he was searching for threats. When his eyes landed on me, he relaxed, and a tired smile spread across his face.

"Hello..." he drawled. He looked me up and down. "Chief Kol."

"Good evening to you too, Kit." I placed a hand on his forehead. It was much warmer than I expected, and I would've been worried if he hadn't been like this for a while now. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm still enjoying being in a warm bed again. Is this what your soldiers feel? I have a newfound respect for them now, sleeping on stone floors every night."

I sighed. The trial lasted more than I expected. It lasted for the whole day, and for three days straight. It exhausted me to no end, the things I have to argue and the things I had to consider. It took a while for them to understand that I will let Kit stay, and that was that. In the end, we had come to an agreement. Kit was permitted to stay in the tribe, but he was to be under heavy surveillance, and the people were allowed to defend themselves should they feel threatened by Kit. They could harm him, but Kit could not lay a finger on them. They could not be swayed any further, so I agreed. In the end, I got what I sought for, but I still worry for him.

"I'm sorry, Kit. I should've done this sooner."

He waved me off. "Ah, don't worry. You have done what you needed to, and I'm here now. You could afford to be happy." Kit held my hand and squeezed it.

I smiled at him. "Thank you."

"How was the ceremony?"

"It wasn't what I thought it'd be. I thought it'd be more grand. Instead, I realized I wasted too many hours of the day preparing for walking, standing, and getting this itchy crown on my head."

"Aren't all ceremonies just standing around, walking, and some talking on the side?"

"Then why are some ceremonies fun and others not?"

"I don't know. But either way, it happened. You're Chief now. Isn't that great? How do you feel?"

I shrugged. "Father told me all sorts of things about being Chief. As of now, I have yet to see all those things he told me about, and it's really boring. I want to experience it again, even though most of what he said sounded really unpleasant."

"That sounds underwhelming. First the ceremony and now being Chief. Is the feast any good?"

"Would you rather me answer that?"

He sighed. "You used to love grandiose feasts."

"I still do."

"Don't you think you being Chief warrants a grand celebration?"

My gaze dropped to the floor. Kit looked at me. Then he knew. He sighed. "Kol, you know I can't go to the feast even if I was able to."

"It's just not the same without you."

One of the conditions we had agreed on was that he was not allowed to attend the ceremony or the feast after that. I was against it, but I had to relent to some things if it meant him staying. I hadn't considered what those things might be until I experienced them firsthand.

"Yes, I know, but you can't change the feast because I couldn't go there."

"I'm afraid it's too late for you to say what I can and can't do."

He chuckled, rolling his eyes. "I forgot. We lost that privilege when you declared to wed me."

"And we are still betrothed, Kit."

He hummed. "How about Jaime? And Bulan and Alon. I haven't seen them in a good while."

When I saw Kit as one of my own, it didn't take long for him and the three to be friends. It came so naturally that it left me shocked in the end how easy it was for them. But as much as they were really close with one another, their views on the likes of Kit were apparent. Once it was revealed what he was, they were distraught over it. Bulan took it in stride, since it didn't matter to him what people are and instead focuses on what they do. Alon was the opposite of Bulan, stating that what people are matters just as much. But the years of friendship they have had made him reconsider. As for Jaime... well, friendly as he might be, but his views on blood magic and the people who bear those are quite clear. It was clear what he thought of him, but as long as he lived and let live, then it was all I could ask for.

"They're doing well," I said. "They've found women to keep them company, it seems."

"Is that why you're here now? Because they left you all alone?"

"I came here to see you."

"I'm sorry. You cannot fuck me right now."

"Some days, I regret introducing you to Alon."

He chuckled. "Maybe you shouldn't have."

We went silent. I was never one for being idle, so I began brushing the fur on his head. Kit was enjoying it, eyes closed and humming to himself with a smile on his face. It turned out some things never change. I wished we could stay like that forever.

"I saw two men back at the feast," I said. "They were dancing around the bonfire, without a care in the world."

"Are you sure they were lovers?" Kit asked.

"They danced so intimately. And they look at each other the way you do when you fuck me. I severely doubt they weren't lovers."

"Such barbaric language." He chuckled. "And you wish we were them?"

I sighed. "Yes."

"Why do you look like I'm going to berate you? I've already heard time and time again all you wish to say about this. What was it that you said? 'It's not fair that the common folk could wed who they desire while I can't.'"

"And I still stand by that."

He chuckled. "And I never expected you to change."

I sighed, leaning back in my chair. "I still wish we were them, though. There were some nights, were I wish I could trade all of this for their mundane toils and worries. It is not less harsh, that I do know, but in their place, I could wed you and people would turn the other way. Kit, is it wrong to be willing to give all of what I have for a simple life?"

Kit went deep in thought, the way he did when I asked him these kinds of questions. Most of the time, I didn't want an answer, but he would answer me, anyway. There were also times where I thought I shouldn't ask him these questions, since they trouble him so much. He thought about what I said for a few moments too long before he answered.

"I'll be honest with you. That does sound nice. We can live peacefully, and you wouldn't have to worry about much other than putting food on the table. But you know what happened. What then? What could you have done then?"

"Kit..."

"I know." Kit looked at me warmly, holding my hand. "Kol, I'm just saying what I think. A simple life sounds nice, but without the power that you hold, you would never have made me stay. I'm not saying you have to get rid of these fantasies. I'm only saying that we can make do with what we have right now."

I looked at him, then I sighed. "Why do you have to be so reasonable?"

"Since you decided to be so reckless." Kit laughed softly to himself.

"I'm sorry I was reckless."

"It was my fault, too."

"You think we could have avoided this?"

"The secret will come out one way or another. We can't keep them forever."

"That I do know." I remembered Kit's arrest, his whipping, then him in the dungeon. Kit's reassurance that it was all inevitable. It just hurt more than it already did. I let out a breath. "I just wish they didn't see you the way they did."

"I know. But like I said, I already made my peace with it." He squeezed my hand, smiling at me. "You do not need to worry about that."

He may say that, and his smile might be sweet, but there was no denying what his eyes told me. If not that, then I had known him since we were little. He used to yearn for the approval of the people around him. It didn't matter who it was, as long as it was someone the children used to look up to, then he would seek validation from them. Sometimes he did, and he would end up in tears if he didn't. This especially was the case with Mother. She wouldn't give him the validation Father would give him. It would seem harsh, yes, but it was Mother. I could almost hear her saying, "You cannot expect everyone to give you what you desire. It is better for you to accept it and focus on what you can control." It seemed like Kit never even knew what she was trying to say. Her lessons were much more important now than they were before. I wanted to reach out, but Father told me that I should let people learn the lessons themselves. So, just like before, I let him be and pray to the Gods that he learn what he needed to.

"I'll take your word for it," I said.

"You better have. I do not need you worrying over trivial things when there will be much more pressing matters for you to face."

"Gods have mercy, I do not want to think about it right now."

He chuckled. "As the Chief wishes."

"Oh, hush, you."

He laughed at that, then he shivered. I stood up and pulled the covers until I reached his shoulders. I placed a hand on his head. It was hot to the touch.

"Your fever..."

"It happens from time to time," he said. "The healer said it would happen from time to time. Said I should rest whenever it happens."

I wasn't convinced of that, but I sat back down, nonetheless. "Then you should rest."

"And you should go back. The people are waiting for you. And before you say anything, I cannot rest if you are here talking to me. Go on, it would benefit the people and me."

"All right, I'll go," I said. "But, is there anything you would like for me to bring or do when I come back?"

"Well... nothing in particular..." Kit pondered for a moment, then he looked at me. "Could you sing me that song you used to sing when we were little? The one you used to help me sleep?"

"That one? I haven't sung that in a while."

He hummed. "Exactly. I missed it. And I missed you singing it. You have a lovely voice, Kol. I wish you had magic, too."

"Well, the Gods can only bless us so much."

"What did your father say about pride again?"

We chuckled at that. Then he made himself comfortable on the bed, a wistful smile on his face. I sighed, smiling as well. I gently placed my hand on his cheek and scratched it, and he leaned against it. He used to do this when we were children. This brought back a smile to my face. Then, with a sigh, I closed my eyes and did what I was asked.

"Sa kadikluman nin banggi, nahiling takang nagtuturog sa irarom kan bulan. Nakahigda ka sa daga asin kapot mo an burak na tinao ko saimo."

I brushed a hand against his head, mussing up his head fur like I used to do. He closed his eyes, humming with a wistful smile on his face. Seeing it made me yearn for the days when he used to reach up only to my chest, and when he asked him to tell him stories so he could sleep. It turned out it never really went away, considering how he asked me to sing him to sleep.

"Nagdalagan ka na naman. Naghahagad ka na naman nin kun ano-ano sa bulan. Aram mo man na maski grabe an pagpapasakit mo sa aro-aldaw, maski makulog man an latigo, padangat giraray taka. Dara kan duros an pagkamoot ko sa imo, kaya magturog ka na, asin pangiturogan mo ako."

Just like before, Kit was sound asleep as soon as I finished the song. His eyes were closed and his torso gently moved up and down in a steady rhythm. I continued mussing the fur on his head, a longing ache in my chest and a weird sense of dread I couldn't place. After all this time, after all that happened, I was still surprised that I managed to make Kit stay.

I sighed. Back when I was six, Father said each Chief had his own trials that no other Chief would face when I asked about his council. Looking at Kit, I knew he was mine. I never really minded that before and now I just wished the Chiefs shared their trials, so I had some counsel now that it had been passed on to me. I looked at Kit, sleeping peacefully on the bed, despite everything. I remember back at the cell, seeing him bloody and bruised and chained up. Seeing it hurt, but what hurt the most was that he asked me to leave him there, liked he had given up hope then and there. I was furious when I heard that. I didn't know whether because it was him selling himself short or because letting him go was another sacrifice I had to make for this tribe. I was willing to sacrifice anything, just not Kit. He meant so much to me, and I wouldn't give him up no matter what. I know it's a selfish decision, but everything I did was for this tribe, and it has taken too much from me. I won't let Kit leave my side. And if these trials and tribulations were because of the sacrifice I refused to make, then so be it.

I leaned over and kissed Kit on the forehead. "I love you," I told him. He smiled, as if he knew what I said. I gave him a look one last time before I leave the hospice and went back to the feast.