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***Side Note***

I like hearing from people, so hey, comment on my story. Please, let me know if you like it or not and why. Or at least give me the illusion that someone's actually reading it.

***End Side Note***

And so I was alone again, and without anything to do. It was a dangerous combination. My mind soon resumed its latest hobby, wallowing in guilt and pity. I had so many things going for me before this whole thing began. Why did I have to be here? What was my role here? Most importantly, what gave me the right to play around with others like this? From the bottom of the chain, as a prisoner I had done more against my people than those on the front lines had. It hurt, and hurt badly having betrayed so many people, just like I was betrayed. There was nothing I could do to make up for it either. With Preston's situation, he could at least get some atonement from his experience here. He was also directly involved in the front lines while I sat around back here doing nothing but betraying people who once depended on me. Sitting here where it was nice, safe and comfortable while everyone else was working hard to stay alive, it was something I didn't deserve after turning my back on everyone who worked so hard to protect me that first night.

Then again, to be fair, I was the first one betrayed. Dragged from my happy little existence into this mess at random, it wasn't really my doing. Yeah, try as I might, I just couldn't convince myself that I was a victim here. Sure, a lot had happened to me, but just why did I have to do the things I did. Revenge was one thing, but those weren't people trying to do me harm, they were trying to protect me.

There were only really two things I could settle on at the moment. One, I needed friends, people to help get my mind off things and get me back on some kind of path. Two, I couldn't be left alone. Every time I'm alone, it starts up again and I just can't bring myself out of it without help. This was a very circular thing in my mind. I do bad stuff, then it goes to bad stuff happened to me and the thoughts simply never ended. If only there were a simple solution to this.

I slinked up into the corner of the bed, surrounded by two walls and wrapped the covers around me, huddled up into a little ball like a scared little kid. It was a bit more comforting now that I was surrounded by warmth. If only things were simple. Then a new thought entered my mind. Could I really be held responsible for giving up so much information? It seemed like something that was going to happen anyway. While there were things that they couldn't do, the list of things that they could do was much larger. Though I suppose giving answers encouraged more questions.

There was nothing I could really do at this point, but I searched my mind for possibilities, things I could have done better and anything I could possibly blame myself for. Yeah, I was looking to hurt myself. I wanted anything that would make me feel miserable and it was working. It was something I was becoming good at. Everything I was asked, everything I answered, if I had gave them things that were a bit further from the truth. It probably would have harmed someone, but it might have balanced the odds a bit better. Then again, why should I be playing with lives? I was powerful, I was threatening, and I was a prisoner of all things. That didn't feel right.

I poked my head out from under the covers and stared at the door hoping my master would be back soon. It felt almost like a bad horror movie, but the only things I needed to hide from were in my mind. I waited a moment and let my ears check the air before diving back under the covers. I couldn't be alone anymore. Fear, worry, guilt, an aura of harm just circled around me. How could I have done those bad things without even thinking about it? Did having someone else in charge, controlling me excuse me from blame? Was I really responsible for doing things or could really excuse myself of all responsibility, after all, what did I do?

Yes, what did I do? I had no stake in this, why should I have any influence on the outcome? Clearly something wasn't right.

I poked my head out of the covers again. My ears picked up motion in the hallway hoping to have some relief. Maybe it would be Preston coming to save me from my personal hell. I held my breath hoping to hear a bit better. Footsteps were travelling down hall, but I couldn't gauge how far away it was. The covers shook gently as I shook trying to figure out who that was and whether or not I'd be saved. The faint steps were getting closer, but they still sounded quite far away. I huddled up in the corner, with my eyes closed, holding my head between my knees. Being alone was sure to drive me insane if I wasn't crazy already.

The door eventually opened and I groaned out loud for sympathy. "Help," I muttered quietly, not caring who it was.

Preston shook his head gently and hobbled over to my corner. "Talk to me, Solack," he said as he slipped into the bed beside me.

"It hurts," I muttered not really sure where to begin, "It hurts."

"What hurts?" Preston asked, "Was it something I did?"

I shook my head silently and repeated myself, "It hurts."

Preston wrapped his arm around my naked body and pulled me into his lap, "Can you tell me more? Are you physically hurting?"

I shook my head again. How could I explain what I was going through? It was agonising and trying to describe it made my head hurt.

"Talk to me," Preston requested, "Whatever you're thinking about, just say it."

"I don't know where to begin," I said. Desperately, my mind tried to sort my thoughts and categorise them, but I had no idea what categories use.

"Then just start where you are now," Preston said as he gave me a hug, "Take your internal monologue and just start vocalising it. Don't worry about explaining things, just let yourself go."

"Where to begin, where to begin," I began, "I'm actually thinking that, so I'm saying that I'm not asking it. I guess what I'm feeling most right now is guilt. It feels bad. I suppose I'm partially responsible for people dying, or at least many of them died based on information I provided. I think I betrayed them." Vocalising things was starting to help. Now that I had to finish saying one thought before beginning the next, things were starting to slow down. "I still feel like trying to find a beginning to start from," I admitted after a long pause, "I suppose it starts with coming here. I never wanted to be here. This place is insane, but I didn't have a choice. Everyone I came here with was united, we tried our best to look after each other. Then you got me." I broke out in tear and shouted, "Why, why?"

Preston's hand slid down my belly as he held my naked body, "Just relax and keep going. Get it all out."

I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep going. It felt a little silly too having already said everything to myself so many times. Now that I was starting to break down again, I wasn't sure how well this was going to work. Everything I was saying, I had already said to myself a hundred different times in a dozen different ways. "Why did I have to do that?" I said, "Why?"

"Do what?" Preston asked confused, 'What do you feel you've done?"

"I betrayed everyone," I squealed, my voice cracking half way through, "Everyone who was trying to protect me." After that, I just couldn't express myself anymore as I continued to beat down on myself inside.

"What did you do to betray them?" Preston asked.

It took me time to speak again. "You know," I said, it was about all I could manage but I suppose he wanted me to say it out loud. It felt a bit confusing. Things weren't really too clear in my mind just how much responsibility I had, but I was convinced I was doing something wrong. "All those things that I said," I eventually added, "You know how that is."

"So you think you've betrayed everyone protecting you by giving up information?" Preston clarified, "That sound like a pretty reasonable thing to think." His hand drifted down my thigh and gave it a squeeze, I was hoping he was trying to distract me. Now that he was talking, I was really hoping that I could stop. Things were getting difficult and I wasn't sure how much of myself I really wanted to share. As much as giving up myself as he point of becoming a sex slave, there were some things I didn't feel ready to share. As much as it was my turmoil, my mind was sacred.

I nodded and didn't comment further waiting for him to say the next word. Facing what he had to say was a lot easier than facing what I had to say to myself. There was only one thing I was after, and that was to hurt myself. Him on the other hand seemed rather interested in helping me. He saved my body by taking pity on me and sparing it, I just hoped that he would help me save my mind. For a while, I just rested there in his arms. As miserable as I was, at least I wasn't bashing myself anymore. My mind was just in a waiting mode now, low on thoughts, but full of feelings.

"Is that all that's on your mind?" Preston asked,

"I suppose," I said, before thinking up more I should mention. It seemed like he was at a loss for words as well, so I figured I might as well mention it, "Am I really responsible for anything that happened?"

"From the looks of it, you certainly feel that way," he said, "But you really shouldn't think of yourself like that. It's just crazy out there. For some reason some people feel like fighting, so we have to be the ones." There was another long pause and it was time for him to wait and think. "I know it's silly, but people are dying all around in this war. Some of them trained to fight and survive and some of them just trying to make their way through their lives. I'm sure this hotel had an owner before it was occupied and if he makes it through this, I'm sure he'd like to get this place back. I'm getting side-tracked now, but I suppose the point I'm trying to make is that everyone's life has been turned upside down lately and people are dying, whether they're ready or not."

There was another long pause. I suppose I wasn't the only one feeling out of place here, but I was definitely showing it the most. Not that I've had the chance to meet the hotel owner yet but it just didn't feel fair that I was growing so dysfunctional while everyone else had something resembling functionality.

"Do you need anything to make you feel better?" Preston asked me, "Anything at all."

I thought for a while before I remembered what I had decided upon earlier. "Please don't leave me alone," I muttered.

Preston nodded rubbed my inner thigh again, "I suppose I can do that. No where to go anymore, no where I really can't take you." His hand quickly swept up and met with my sack. It wasn't very different from any other touch as he rubbed my balls in his hand, "Do you think you need a therapist? It's probably best to do this now before we're the only ones left around."

I put up no resistance as he brought me to a full erection. It was a tough question, and one that I wanted to avoid. His hand wasn't really helping much, but I guess it kept me from slipping back into an endless spiral. "I'd rather just talk to you," I said and took a deep breath afterwards. It sounded even stupider actually saying it. This was more or less my chance to talk, but I really wasn't saying much. Talking to someone else might actually have been more productive.

"That's ok," Preston said as his other arm wrapped around my chest to play with my nipple, "But I'm gong to need you to do a lot more talking and I suppose I should get a better idea how to help."

"What you're doing is fine," I said causing him to suddenly withdraw his hands, "No really, it helps. I like snuggling." There was little I could really say about my preference but my mind continued to grope the possibilities, "You have a way of getting my mind off things that..." just how did I want to describe it? I couldn't say that it was something that didn't matter. Things that I couldn't do anything about? I suppose it worked. No, no, there was something I could do about it, not do these kinds of things. Screw it, I just didn't know what else to say, "I suppose you help me Get my mind off things I can't do anything about."

"Are you sure that's all you'll need?" Preston asked, "If you find you need more help, this one the time to get it. The option won't be available when we're alone."

"Just give me some time," I said, "Hug me, hold me, hurt me, heal me. Just keep distracted and I'll stay ok."

"You'll be ok for a while, but what about on the long run?" Preston asked, "Are you sure you can get out of this alone? I mean this is the best time to do something about."

I sighed and gave up the argument, "You're my master, I'll trust your judgement. If you think it's in my best interests."

"That's not really what I was trying to get to," Preston said sounding disappointed. "If anything's going to happen, you're going to have to want it to."

This was quickly getting nowhere, "If you think it's in my best interest, I'll do it. No need to make it complicated."

"You know that's not true," Preston continued, "Otherwise you'd have said that at the beginning. It's entirely your choice here, I'm just saying to consider your options wisely."

I sniffled, that was a hard one to think of a comeback for. Yes, it's my decision, but what did I really want and who was really driving it. If I did go, wouldn't it be like me being there more because Preston wanted me to? Why does he want me to anyway, if it was my decision, he wouldn't be trying to talk me into it. My eyes closed and I picked up Preston's hand, holding it up to my cheek. "I'll go," I said, still feeling like it was really his wishes more than my own.

"Is it because you really want to, or because I want you to?" he asked, making things complicated again.

There was really nothing much I could say here. One would keep the argument going indefinitely, so I picked the other one. "I want to," I slowly made out, articulating every word with a slight stutter. Nothing could be further from the truth. I wanted to because it would make him happy more than it would help me get over this. "How do you keep from breaking down?" I asked.

Preston waited and rubbed my chest over before giving response, "I just try not to think of all the negative things in the world. I try think of all the things I miss from back home and how nice it would be to finally be able to get back to them." His arms locked around me as he licked my cheek before adding, "Of course, I also think of how nice it would be to have you bound, gagged and helplessly flopping around waiting for me to rape your ass silly."

Right on cue, there he was, master and slave. I shook back and forth in his arms as a bit of mock struggle. He knew how to get me going. With a bit off effort, I heaved my chest up a little, but he still held me close. "You're going to have to keep me still long enough to tie up first," I challenged him. Though I was still sore from my previous encounter, so maybe that wasn't the best idea at the time.

Preston grinned as he tightened his grip suddenly and pulled me back against his chest, "You'll come willingly, I have ways," he said. A hand gripped my neck, "Yes, ways. When I get a locking shock collar on you, you wouldn't think twice about trying to stay out of bad situations."

"Eeep," I gasped as I dropped limply into his arms while my cock shot upwards.

Preston took advantage of the moment and slipped my handcuffs back on my wrist, locking them together in front of me. The cuffs of course were a gift from a while back. The key though, lets just say I couldn't find it in the wrapping paper. "See, I have ways." Preston said as I whimpered holding my hands to my chest, "Plenty of nice, scary painful ways. Of course, once I have you, that doesn't guarantee that I won't hurt you even worse."

I whimpered softly as I lay in his arms. Hurting myself was the goal, but not really in that way. "I'll be good," I offered, "No need to hurt me."

With a big grin on his face, Preston snickered, "Oh really?"

I nodded, "I'll be good. You don't need to hurt me."

"I suppose this means you're done feeling bad and ready to play again?" Preston asked. I could almost see it coming, but I still nodded. "That's good, because for a while there, it sounded like you were trying to tell me what to do and that's not the way things work. You're not quite ready to speak again, so wait till tomorrow."

I swallowed hard and nodded. No more speaking today and this time it was going to stick. If not, well, I'm sure he had consequences in mind. Another spanking would be fun, but maybe not so hard.

"Now, I believe you had something to do for an hour," my master whispered into my ear.

This felt like a great time for doing something for an hour. Now that his talk of screwing me senseless had me fully erect and aroused, I was ready to go. My cuffed hands slid down my belly in unison and connected with my cock. With one hand, I gripped the base and stroked two fingers up the back of my member taking things slowly. It was kind of a mixed blessing. I was in the mood, but it was more likely that I would actually finish the act, which I was forbidden to do. Though as I massaged the base of my member, I realised that an hour was a long time to get myself in the mood. Whether I wanted to or not at the beginning, this would get very tempting towards the end. I wondered how well I would handle it afterward. My hands stuck to slow gently motions, letting my fingers just brush by teasing the skin. There was no sense in driving myself crazy at this point.

There was more or less an hour to go, but I had no reference to time. I suppose there's good and bad to that though. This way, I had to hold myself at more or less a regular pace, not letting myself get out of hand. One hand closed tightly against my cock forming a tight ring as my fingers glided smoothly over the top of my member again. It was starting to feel a little moist up there, so I pressed two fingers into my urethra and swept it upward to get a bit more pre-cum out a little sooner. I spread the bit of liquid I had around the tip, barely covering any area. My fingertips circled around the wetted area over and over again as it quickly dried out. A little disappointed, returned to lightly stroking myself. For a while, I thought I'd try to keep myself from dripping too much. Then I decided that probably wouldn't last long so I figured it was probably best not to make goals that I didn't have to.

It felt very dirty to be the only one naked and playing with myself as I rested on top of Preston's clothed features. He had a pretty nice hard on as well, but being naked and acting on mine made it so much naughtier. Preston leaned me slightly to the side and tilted my head towards him. Our lips connected and pressed together. His head bounced back and smiled at me. First round, just lips, no tongue. Maybe on the second round though. I grinned as he licked my cheeks as his hand slicked my ears back. He pressed my head towards me again and planted his lips firmly on mine. There must be something about playing with myself, because I wanted tongue and I was disappointed again.

My tail pressed heavily against my master's hard on wondering when he'd join in the naughty acts he was asking me to perform. I think he intended to join me at sometime. Or perhaps he'd ask for me to do something for him. There was a happy thought I could focus on. My lips opened invitingly as Preston sucked my lower lip into his mouth. It felt nice having my lips sucked on, but I still wanted his tongue in my mouth. I scratched my lower lips with my teeth once it was returned to me and let him take my upper lip into his muzzle. My tongue in turn licked his lower lips wondering when I'd get a taste of his tongue.

I squeezed out another bead of precum out the tip of my cock, a bit more than last time. The slick fluid seeped down slowly as I tried my best to squeeze just a little bit more out. My thumb zigzagged back and forth across the tip of my member as I tried to keep the pre-cum from dripping down the other way. There wasn't much to go around, so I wanted to keep it all contained where I was playing with it. Despite my best efforts, it was evaporating quickly. I still a long way to go, so I patiently waited and went back to just rubbing my fingers across the surface. I decided I had to avoid gripping my shat. After that point, it was just going to slide out of control.

My lips connected with Preston's once more, still hoping for a bit of tongue. My lips were slightly parted, though his remained shut. I contemplated the moves I could have made if things were different. If I weren't his slave, I'd have slid my head forward and wrenched open his lips so that our tongues could dance. Since I was though, there was little I could allow myself but the chance to sit back and let him take Hold the reins. His muzzle would explore my face and when it came time to kiss, I'd simply pucker my lips and let him take control. Today seemed to be the day for fitting parts of my master inside myself, first his cock, and now I was hoping to feel his tongue slip in between my lips. It was exciting. His muzzle and fingers thoroughly explored the contours of my face, as I stood ready.

His cock was starting to burn through the back of my mind as ground my hops against him. Just when was he planning to pull it out and was I going to get the chance to play with it? My last experience with it went rather well despite being a little sore at the moment. Maybe I'd get a chance to get a taste of his member. I salivated at the thought. Lapping away at that first cock was fun, and I wanted to try it again. That would probably drive me nuts.

I was now holding my cock between my thumb and two fingers as I stroked it up and down. A loose grip, but still very nice. I wondered how much time was left to my punishment because my self-control was really starting to slip. The more I tried to fight things, the closer to orgasm I became and the faster I was driving myself there. Had it been a half-hour? Twenty minutes? Fifteen minutes? I really wondered and wished I could ask. Since I wasn't allowed to speak though, I couldn't. From the looks of it, he wasn't going to tell me anyway, so I just hoped I was on the bottom stretch, not sure if I'd be able to finish the deed if I wasn't already past the half way point.

My lips collided with Preston's from the side and his tongue brushed up against my lips, prodding at the door. As before, I had left my mouth open just a crack hoping that he would do just that. This time, he only licked my lips and swept past my teeth quickly. I was convinced that tongue to tongue contact would be next. He pressed my head towards him as our lips met dead on. Mine parted slightly at his touch and felt his tongue slipping just past my lips. My tongue connected with his and swirled about in mutual harmony just within the threshold of my teeth. It came to an end all too soon as Preston backed his head away and slipped my back squarely on his chest. My head dropped back in search of a pillow, my neck stretched out exposing my throat as I did. Brief as it was, that had to be one of the loveliest kisses I had received.

My mind wondered if he would find me a new use for my lips. I certainly hoped he would as my fingers closed around my member. My self-control slipped further as I felt Preston's hard on rubbing up against me through his pants. It felt like it would like some nice submissive attention, which I suppose I shouldn't insist upon. I waited impatiently for some indication that I should go down on him but his arms just wrapped there way around my chest and held me close.

He always said that this punishment would be fun, and it was. It was difficult, but fun, not that I couldn't do with another spanking. Just how well would I stand up to something harder? That was a rather quick one and things could have been much worse. When would this one be over? I had the feeling that everything was going to work out just fine once we sorted out all the questions in my mind. It certainly felt like there probably wouldn't be that much longer to go but still, I strained to slow down my hand and loosened my grip.

Another question arose in my mind as I rested there, back to stroking myself with two fingers. Was he really going to tell me when I could stop? Fred was a mysterious person, I figured I probably wouldn't be able to expect much information from him. Preston however, seemed like one to tell me when to stop. I was so glad that I was only going for one hour and not two or three.

"Still feeling good?" Preston asked as he lowered his hand to my wrist.

I nodded; things were still feeling good, though my erection was starting to get a little painful. It still felt good to rub myself.

"Hands getting tired yet?" he asked suggestively.

Again, I nodded. I could hardly imagine having to keep this up for two or three hours. One was tough enough for me, but I suppose I could keep going a bit longer if I really had to.

"Would you like to do something that won't require your hands?" he asked.

That was something I didn't need to be asked twice. I could guess where this was going, an invitation to go down on him, I presumed as I nodded with enthusiasm.

"I thought you preferred having your hands available when you ate," Preston chuckled, "The choice is there if you really want to."

That was greatly disappointing. I frowned in disgust. The thought of food had completely skipped my mind, but I suppose it was getting very close to lunchtime. Given that we saw the doctor, I got punished, had a good ride, had a nap and I was beginning to get the feeling that my hour was getting close to finished. These games were giving me a big headache. The more I jumped to wrong conclusions, the more I felt that talking really was beyond my capabilities for the moment. I was going to have to learn a bit and give things some time to sink in before I could avoid getting myself into trouble again.

At least lunchtime was a good sign that my punishment would be over soon, or so I thought. There simply couldn't be that much longer to it given how long ago it felt like I started. It was hard to think of stopping at this point, I was so used to letting things finish. Though if he was serious and this meal was going to wind up like the last one, I suppose things wouldn't be that bad. Humiliating, but I'd be able to keep to the punishment that way. No, that was a bad idea, a very bad idea. I tried my best to work out a way of communicating it to my master using body gestures, but I suppose without questions, I wasn't able to express myself. He'd still need to dress me before we could go though, so I suppose I just had to keep my hands from getting cuffed behind my back like they were last time. Lunch was a slightly more difficult meal to eat without hands or at least not as enjoyable to.

"Just relax and keep going for a while," Preston instructed me as he thrust me aside, "I wonder what kind of public humiliation I can put you through this time if you were to eat with utensils. We should really do a shopping trip, get you a nice collar and some fun toys, but maybe once we're where there are more buildings than debris." He slipped up off the bed slowly and dug up the hobble chain from under the bed. It was going to be like when I first started eating with everyone. I was all clearly marked and carefully bound to prevent me from trying anything. Though what could he possibly do to throw me from the dignity I was used to?

I tried my best to slow down and bring myself to a comforting close, letting my hand slow gently while my hard throbbing penis begged for more. My shoulders drooped back. They were a little sore, just like the reset of me. It was somewhat disappointing to think of abandoning such a solid hard on before getting off, but I guess this wouldn't be much of a punishment without a downside. I closed my eyes and tried to relax, breathing slowly, deep breaths as I tried my best to pretend I had gotten off. Things just wouldn't co-operate with me though as I tried my best to focus on something that would kill my erection. It couldn't be that much longer now.

"Think that's been long enough?" Preston asked.

I nodded, definitely long enough for me. All I needed now was the word to stop and I'd be sitting around with an annoyingly stiff boner while I tried to eat lunch.

"Do you want to finish the act?" Preston asked.

I nodded, I wanted to pretty badly but I didn't want to go through all this again. Well, maybe I did. It was difficult, and frustrating, but I suppose I got something out of it as well.

Preston brushed my hand aside as he sat on the side of the bed. "Let's see just how close you are," he said as he took hold of my member. I could feel my cock jump with excitement as he held it and stroked it with a nice firm grip. "As you'll hopefully recall part of the task involves not getting off afterwards," he reminded me, "Let me see how good your control is."

I shifted about in frustration as his hand started picking up speed. My self-control had already been widdled away during that first hour. Wasn't fond of the idea of repeating myself though. It was pretty clear how close I was when I gasped for breath and started panting heavily.

How much longer did he intend to keep this up? How much longer could I hold out? I counted the seconds in my mind as I twisted my body from side to side half struggling to get away. The other half, knowing better than to interfere with my master.

"Hold still," he said, "It might make things harder for you, but it'll make things easier for me, and that's what really counts."

I suppose he wasn't going to stop until I ceased my struggle. I gave in to my desires jut a little and twisted my hips towards him, holding my chest up off the bed with my elbows. The rest of me though struggled hard to keep from orgasm, still counting the seconds away. Would he let me win or was he determined to make me repeat it? I groaned and shook my upper body as I tried to hold myself still. Oh, how I was so very close.

I gasped as his hand dropped away. For a while, I just sat there motionless, wondering if that was enough to get me off without further contact. It was very close and it felt like things could go either way for a while. Then, I collapsed back into the bed, letting things settle for a while. I needed a break after that, even after my nap.

Preston wouldn't let me rest for long though. "Come on and get dress if you don't want to be eating in the nude," he said as he held up my pants. I stood up and slowly slipped the pants on, the soft fabric rubbing gently over my crotch while I was still very close. Almost there, almost there, but how much further did I really have before I creamed my pants. Hopefully, I could calm down before that would happen. That must have been quite a sight as I shuddered and wheezed, almost like pants were something new to me.

Preston chuckled as he tilted his head back, "A bit too close for you?" He flopped back onto the bed as he waited for me to dress. "So, how do you feel about being handed back over to Fred for the afternoon?" he asked, "I think I'll make him your unofficial handler. You could probably use a work out and I could use some time to set up an appointment for you to talk to a therapist and maybe get around to a few surprises."

I sighed. That would mean I wouldn't be able to get off after lunch and probably mean more moving crates around. Fred was difficult to work with. It took a bit of effort to stay in a mind set where I can get into that. He was fun outside of that though. I suppose I still had to carry out my duties. Then again, there was what might be written on that sheet of paper. Maybe things will go easier if I just imagined some nice comments, but that was stretching things.

Having a decent meal, with utensils this time, was much more enjoyable than last time. Much more relaxing without being mocked. Mental abuse was something I wasn't too ready for, but I figured I could handle it. The physical abuse, well, that was about to begin again. I was kind of scared of doing warehouse sort of work again. It wasn't hard or anything, it was just that I'd be alone for a good amount of the time. Alone, and I wasn't sure how well I'd be able to handle that, but maybe it was just being alone for a long time. My last experience doing that went well. With what happened after my nap though, let's just say that self-doubt was really ruining my mood.

I sighed as I pulled another crate behind me slowly. It was hard work doing it manually and kind of frustrating knowing that there were machines that could easily do the same work without nearly as much effort. Every time I finished positioning another pallet, I saw that machine again. Fred handled the easy work and took everything off the truck. Then it was basically my hard work the rest of the way while he relaxed. I sighed as I slowly let the jack glide to a halt. It took a lot of work to turn the crate around and back it into place. Then all my hard work came to fruition as the heavy crate slowly lowered to the ground.

It was boring work, but it kept me occupied, successfully avoiding the death spiral that I snagged earlier. I suppose while Preston was still injured, it would nice of at least one of us was doing something productive. They could fit a lot more stuff in those big trucks than I originally thought they could. That and I suppose I was going a lot slower than I thought I was. Every time I put away a truck's worth of stuff, another one would arrive. I wanted to know where they were all coming from, but it was hard to ask questions without speaking. In any case, it meant that someone was loading these things faster than I could handle things on this end.

There was plenty of time to wonder about these questions as I slowly moved crates back and forth. After the first few, it was basically auto pilot. The mind more or less focused in on two things, the task and the body. The task was pretty simple for the most part, lining things up at the end took a bit more effort, but other than that, most of my thoughts were on all my miscellaneous aches and pains.

I was feeling pretty tired as I took my empty jack back to the loading dock. To my disappointment, I heard the beeping of another truck backing itself into position. Slowly, I slopped forward and slowly looked up at Fred wonder where he wanted me to put things.

"Did I say that was the last one?" Fred asked.

I shook my head; he had mentioned nothing of the sort as much I was hoping he'd say it. Not that it really mattered though; I could hear the next truck coming to a stop now.

"You think you can handle another one?" Fred asked as he opened the door to the back of a truck, "There's another one right here."

I nodded wondering how much more I could handle. It was something that was on my mind for a while, so I figured I could probably exert myself for quite a while longer. In the slightly less than a day I'd been doing this, I found that I was physically quite durable, same as mentally, but emotionally that was another matter. As much I did complete military training, I didn't think I had done anything nearly this physical demanding before.

"Well, I got news for ya," Fred said as he leaned over on a crate and folded his arms, "This isn't the last one. There's still a number of them to go."

Up till now, I had never really doubted anything Fred said before, and I suppose at this point, I was more doubting whether or not I could handle it than whether or not he was serious. Maybe someone with a bit more experience would be able to handle more than I could.

"We've taken care of our share though, so it's time to call it day," Fred announced as he rewarded me with a pat on the back. I sighed and collapsed on his shoulder. Somehow I felt disappointed at the news. I liked being able to blindly trust every little thing that Fred said. He was a welcome break from the mind games Preston seemed to like. His eyes drifted over towards me as if to question what I was doing. Immediately, I jumped back up in response, afraid that I had done something wrong. "If you really think you could have handled that, how about you drop and give me twenty to show it," he half suggested, half insisted.

I shook my head. Now that it was time to stop, I didn't feel like I could handle it any more. My muscles were already sore and I had already done quite enough today for someone who had sent a lot of time locked in a very small room.

"Are you telling me that you won't?" Fred asked as he turned his head away.

I shook my head again. Twenty push-ups didn't really seem like much at the beginning of the day, but now it seemed like quite a lot.

"Well, rather than just standing there refusing, how about you give it a shot and prove that you can't," Fred half suggested, half insisted, "Just give it a shot and we'll call it a good work out."

My movements were slow and reluctant as I got down on the floor and spread my hands out. I was still sore, but I suppose I could still do some things when I was sore. Slowly, I strained to lift myself upwards and gradually lowered myself to the floor again hoping not to drop myself. That was one and there was still a long way to go. It was difficult and I already felt like quitting. Several seconds passed as I held my arms ready and groaned out in agony. Had to keep going though, my point wasn't quite sufficiently proven.

I tried for a second push up, straining my muscles some more. They ached a lot worse when I was actually trying to use them. Although I didn't quite get high or lower myself down smoothly enough to really consider that a push-up, I counted it as one in my mind. Given the circumstances, I wasn't picky. If I could count something and it would help me get to twenty, I didn't really care. Almost immediately, I tried for number three, forcing myself up slowly and wobbling back and forth to keep myself balanced. Then it was practically a guided fall and I lay there gasping for air as I contemplated counting it as well. So that was three with only one proper one.

"Take your time," Fred told me, "Keep going and let's see how strong you are."

I groaned reluctantly and took a few deep breaths trying to quantify how much more I hurt now than when I started doing push-ups. Convinced that twenty was too much, my mind set a new goal. Five felt like a nice goal, though I was quite happy just to get one. It was just two more and most importantly, it meant that I'd be done soon. My arms strained just to get back into position and I tried my hardest to get push-up number four started.

It seemed like it took forever to get my chest off the ground as I struggled to lift myself further. My arms shook back and forth as they tried to keep me balanced. I grit my teeth and growled as I tried my best to keep going. My mind had already decided I'd count this one as long as I could get my chest up to elbow length off the ground, which was beginning to look like a questionable goal. I thought of a ratchet as I went. Just slowly taking it up a notch a little at a time and not letting things slide back. That's what I wanted to do, take things a little at a time. I wasn't sure how long it took, but I slowly managed to get myself up to a height where I felt I could count it as a push-up given the circumstances.

Immediately, I dropped to the ground, the fifth one wasn't going to get started. I hardly knew if the last three really counted, but I wanted to count them. It was quite an accomplishment getting those four done and I felt rather satisfied. I glanced around looking for Fred as I lay there with my tongue slipping out of my muzzle. Now all that was left was to get him to accept that I really can't do anymore and probably help pick me up off the floor.

Fred looked down at me, resting against a crate with his arms folded across his chest. "Is that all you can handle?" he asked.

As much as I wanted to answer, I didn't have the strength to move my head enough to nod. The most I could do was stay still and hope that doing so would successfully communicate that I couldn't move anymore.

He chuckled at my pains as he stood up straight and took a step towards me. I got a pat on the head for my effort and felt oddly satisfied by that simple gesture, "Unfortunately for you, I can't let you rest there. Big heavy stuff needs to get through so walk, crawl, slither or roll this way."

Slither sounded like a good option, if it weren't for my lack of shirts here. Tired as my upper body was, I decided that my lower body was probably still in fair shape. My legs hurt too, but not nearly as bad as my arms. I held my arm up towards Fred hoping he would help me up when I discovered that tugging on my arms was a seriously bad idea at the moment. He could see the pain in my body and immediately dropped to put a hand behind me. Then it was mostly him the rest of the way and I was finally standing again.

"So, you going to limp like your master?" Fred joked as he put my arm across his back and on his shoulder.