Inner Dilemma | Part 3
#3 of Inner Dilemma
Allen was finding it hard to breathe as he ran alongside of John and Mike. They were out for a run through various neighborhoods in the town surrounding the campus. John and Mike, being cross-country runners were having a nice time. As for Allen, he was sweating more than he had in a long time. Sure, he ran occasionally, but he ran shorter distances and at a slower pace. He kept up with John and Mike though because they knew he wasn't as fast as they were.
They ran past one of the local high schools as Mike said in a happy tone, "Only a mile and a half to go!" Allen wanted to hit Mike for being so enthusiastic about that. A mile and a half? That seemed like an eternity, but he didn't want to complain so he kept on running. His muzzle was getting dry and a small cramp started forming on his left side. Allen had no choice but to run through it.
At long last, they ran back on campus and started weaving around the other students enjoying the day. Allen dodged a couple of Frisbees and almost knocked over an otter playing football. Allen yelled an apology as he kept running. They eventually got to Allen's dorm and then finally stopped. Allen put his paws on his sides and began breathing heavily. "Wow, that felt fantastic" Allen said sarcastically.
"Well, if you're not too tired," said John who was also breathing heavily but not as much as Allen, "We can go to Devin's and get milkshakes."
"That seems like a great post-workout thing to do," Allen said with a smirk as he started to regain his composure "but that sounds great."
Mike and John left to their respective dorms as Allen walked into his room. He stripped off his clothes and stretched out his legs. Then his own sweaty stench reached his nose and it made his cough. I really need a shower. Allen grabbed his fur shampoo, conditioner, and wrapped his towel around his waist before heading out to the showers. The warm water splashing on his fur felt fantastic. He covered his fur in shampoo to clean out his fur. He rubbed the shampoo over his body, and then his paws reached his sheath and balls. Allen threw his head back and closed his eyes as he played with himself. His pink tip started to emerge out of his sheath and Allen played with it until it was at its full hardness. He grasped his shaft with one paw and started to rub. It had been a while since Allen pawed off and it sent shivers down his spine. He imagined John running in those cute running shorts and, because Allen ran a little slower, he got to admire the fox's rear for a good portion of the run. With his other paw he grabbed his knot and started squeezing it and twisting it. He wasn't going to last much longer. Allen didn't have time to fantasize any more than he had before he felt his climax hit and sprayed cum on the walls. Allen let out a sign of relief and released his shaft and cleaned the up his mess.
Allen finished rinsing himself off and dryin himself off. He took his time to brush his fur into a presentable way before padding back over to his room. He put on a pair of jeans and a shirt that had Space Jam, his favorite movie as a kid, on it. It was then that he realized that he was suppose to meet Mike and John at Devin's. He rushed out the door and walked briskly the hundred-or-so yards to get to Devin's. He walked in and saw Mike and John sitting at one of the booths, milkshakes in paws. Allen got a milkshake of his own and sat next to John.
"It's about time that you got here," John said as Allen sat down "what took you so long?"
Of course, Allen didn't want to tell the real reason for his tardiness and hid his slight blush. "I had to talk to my Residential Advisor" he lied.
"Whatever" John said as he dove back into his milkshake.
There was a moment of silence while all of them enjoyed their milkshakes until Mike piped up, "You held up with us pretty well on our run. I wasn't sure how you were going to handle that pace for those five-miles."
"Well, it felt like I has going at a hard pace the entire time," Allen chuckled.
"And by the way," John interjected, "why did you say it was important that you start running with us?"
"Well," said Allen, "I just joined the triathlon club and was planning on doing a race later in the semester."
This came as a shock to John and Mike. Allen was more of a swimmer in high school and he wanted to do more than that in college and a triathlon seemed to be the perfect solution to it. The swimming was not going to be a problem, but he was more concerned on the cycling and running. Allen had been going to a few of their practices, but he felt like he needed more outside training since he was a beginner.
John seemed really excited, "Wow, that's awesome! Where is the race?"
"At some lake an hour away. I forget what it's called. I think it's-AGH!" Allen felt a sudden pain in his head and shut his eyes as he begged for the pain to go away.
"Looks like someone is eating his milkshake too fast," laughed Mike as he reenacted Allen facial expression to his brain freeze.
John took a hold of Allen's milkshake, "Let's make sure that doesn't happen again." John started eating some of Allen's milkshake. "Hey give it back" Allen said as he reached for it only to have John raise just past where Allen's paws could reach it. A smile came across John's face, "Only if you beg." Allen smiled to himself as he thought, 'Kinky!' Allen put on the best puppy face he could, as his eyes got big, his lower lip stuck out a little, and his paws came up just under his muzzle.
"That's adorable, how the hell do you say 'no' to a face like that," Mike said and John laughed as he gave the milkshake back to Allen. Just as Allen started digging into his milkshake, John's phone went off and he answered it.
"Hello...haha really?...Dumbass...Okay I'll be right over." John closed his phone. "I gotta split, my roommate locked himself out of our room and I got to let his dumbass back in. See you guys later." John turned around as he stepped out of Devin's walking backwards and doing a little dance until he walked right into one of the football players and fell flat on his face. Several surrounding people gave him the way-to-go clap as John immediately jumped onto his footpaws and showed an embarrassed smile before walking off.
Allen smiled to himself as he watched John disappear into the crowd. All Allen could think of was himself and John together, holding paws and enjoying the day. That also lead to thoughts about coming out to John, and Allen felt uneasy about that. That led to the questions about when and how he should do it. He was lost in his thoughts and didn't hear all of what Mike was saying to him.
"So when are you going to do it?" Mike said.
Allen was too lost in his thoughts of John. "I don't know, I was thinking of telling John that I'm gay sometime, but I'm not sure exactly when." Then it occurred to him what he just said. Allen's eyes shot open, ears flicked up, and he looked at Mike who had a dumbfounded expression on his face. Allen's mind started racing, Oh my God! How did I let that slip?...I just told Mike that I'm gay...fuck fuck fuck...what do I do?
Without another word, Allen got out of his seat as fast as he could and walked quickly from Devin's with a paw on his forehead. He had no idea where he was walking to, but he had to get away from there. Without even realizing it, Allen sat down at the base of a tree and just stared out in front of him hoping, praying that this was a dream, but the dream didn't go away, this was real. Tears started to swell up in Allen's eyes as he thought of the worst scenarios. He could picture Mike freaking out and telling John, and then word will spread and who knows what will happen to Allen. He might have to transfer as far away as possible. Allen's mind was going so fast, that he didn't realize that someone was sitting next to him. Allen looked over to see who it was.
Mike was sitting with a look of concern and a slight grin on his face. A grin? Allen couldn't believe it. He had just let his innermost secret out to one of his best friends unintentionally, and Mike didn't freak out. A lot of questions came to Allen's mind, Is this my mind playing tricks? Does Mike not care? Is Mike gay as well? More tears came to Allen's eyes as he starred at Mike as he started to speak, "Mike, I-I'm so s-sorry..."
Mike cut him off, "There's nothing to be sorry about Allen." Mike put his arm around Allen. "You're gay and you're my friend. That's who you are. I'm not going to hate you just because you like guys. You should know me better than that. You mean too much to me for me to turn on you."
Allen smiled as he wiped the tears from his eyes. "Thanks Mike, you mean a lot to me too. I'm sorry for thinking that you wouldn't understand."
"That's what are friends are for, to support each other no matter what," Mike said as he rustled Allen's head fur. They shared a chuckle, and then just sat there enjoying the sounds of the beautiful evening. Then Mike broke the silence, "So, this is embarrassing to ask, but I have to. Do you think I'm attractive?"
Allen had a mix of a cough and a laugh at the unexpected question. "Why, are you gay?"
"No, no I'm not," Mike gave an embarrassed smile, "It's just that, from someone who is attracted to males, would you find be attractive?"
Allen could only smile at the question, but gave an honest answer saying, "Don't get me wrong, you're cute, you're very cute, but I'm not attracted to every guy I see, despite what most people think. It's like when you see a girl that you recognize is good looking, but you don't try to ask her out because you don't have the drive to start a romantic relationship. But I guarantee you that there are girls who would love to be with you."
"Thanks for that," Mike said. "So does this mean you're going to come out to John and tell him everything?"
That idea never occurred to Allen before this. He already came out to Mike, but that was on accident. He didn't know where to begin if he wanted to. He didn't want to risk destroying the friendship that he already had with John. That was the most important thing to Allen, his friendship. If Allen and John stayed friends forever, hiding his true feelings was a sacrifice worth taking. "I'm not sure, I'll need some more time. I wasn't planning on coming out to you Mike, I'm glad I did, but I'm not sure of the implications that will come with it. If I feel ready to do it I will, but I'm not there yet."
"I understand Allen," Mike said as he stood up, "I will let you handle this, but always remember that I'm here for you and I'm not going to leave you side." Allen stood up with him and he nodded. The two embraced each other. "Thank you" was all Allen could say. They said their goodbyes and went their respective ways. Allen had smile on his muzzle the entire time. A huge weight was lifted off his shoulders, but one question still remained. How do I tell John?