His fault
There are times in life in which you have to take what's in front of you, no matter who gets hurt you just ought to do it. Jake and I discussed those words many times, many night and even into the first rays of sun... given the lives that we found ourselves enduring, the time to use that philosophy could arrive any moment. We knew it, we always knew it... but never in my mind did it cross that what my only friend needed, what was in front of him, what he had to take... was me.
"And how's our favorite patient on this wonderful evening?"
Jake sang his particular low tenor voice. The big lug of a wolf entered my small apartment just like he's been doing for the past week, this time though he brought my clothes from laundry.
I was sat at my leather couch, although sprawled would be more appropriate, my head hung on the back of it; I was depressed, too tired of being tired. From what I could see from my window it was a nice day out there, even with it fading away I could felt it was. The red glow of dusk and the blue light of the TV in front of me, gave the living room a purplish glow to it, one that I liked to see painting the roof.
I heard the wolf moving, walking towards me but I decided to ignore it. I did not understand why I couldn't accept his help as easily as it was for me to offer him mine.
"Stop that Jake." I growled. Jake was trying to steady the position of my casted leg. "It's embarrassing enough as it is."
I pleaded that last part, but it was he's turn to ignore my words.
"Come on I've found myself in far worst erm... positions back in the day. And I never said anything." Jake's hesitation was a little disturbing, not sure why.
I let him place my leg over a small trash can with a pillow on top I was using for support, but then he HAD to take my also casted left arm to place it on my lap. I growled at him, I never liked to be treated like this... like I was some porcelain doll.
"You didn't say anything." I decided to retaliate. "That ugly face of your gave away all the messages you wanted to spit at me."
There was a moment of silence, Jake sat at on the carpet and rested his back on the couch to my left. I kept my face looking at the roof above us, contemplating ... or rather trying to contemplate my options for the future. I had to anyway, given the bunch of crap that my life was turning in this God forsaken town.
"I'm not that ugly."
The mass of dark smoke colored fur said under his breath. He knew he was handsome, he fucking knew it and even I had to admit it. After all, I used to hang out with him not just for company but also for the occasional chick he would ditch and I could catch.
I grumbled throatily and tapped my right arm loudly over the run down leather. I didn't mean it, I wanted to say... but being the macho guys we were it was always hard to express what we felt without sounding queer on our own ears.
"Yeah, just a little make up and a few esthetic-surgeries could make you passable, but then again that'd be just disgusting."
More silence, I always wondered how I could bring him down so easily, given that he's always been the strong type, physically and mentally; when I realized I was falling asleep for the fourth time that day I felt the DvD remote being pulled from my right paw. I growled again, lately Jake has been a lot more touchy. I was beginning to feel his presence more of a nuisance than actual help, sadly being the dependent little puppy I was at the moment, I could not refuse it.
"Come on man, you're making this more difficult than it has to be."
He said staling from using the remote in his paws. What he said was true, but he also had to understand or at least let me have a little payback for what I had to endure from him these past two years of high school. God he made high school a living hell for everyone and himself. And we had another year to go yet.
I sighed. I had to accept fault this time at least, just to show I'm not trying to be an ass. "I feel useless having you spent all your free time here and do all these chores for me."
"We're bros man, family. That's what we do for each other."
Fuck I hated when he did that, not a fiber of me liked when he tried to guilt me into accepting help, just like I did to him.
"Please, stop quoting me."
He laughed.
"Then you should stop acting so damn mature for your own age too."
And with those words said, he thrown the remote back to me and stood on his six feet plus seven inches and walked his imposing frame to the kitchen... leaving the laundry at my feet.
"What would you like for dinner?!"
Jake yelled. I frankly did not want him in there, I certainly appreciated the help cooking since I could not at the moment, but some people simply lack the talent to hold a pan and a spatula in their paws.
"Your call, you're cooking after all."
The kitchen was a royal mess, dished in the sink, a bulging full trash can and dirt and stains from previous cooking adorning the place... your typical guy place, but that wasn't me. I realized how much of a slacker I had become, being injured shouldn't be an excuse to let your house become a disease harboring nest.
"I must say you've improved."
I said entering the disgrace of a cooking place I had, at least someone was still willing to use it even in those conditions.
"Thanks. What makes you say that?"
Jake said with a grin forming in his face, the big lupine then turned to busily chop some meat into what I suppose should be squares cuts. He was going to make us soup today, a fine recipe he found on the net and said it was simple enough for him to actually do well.
I sniffed the pot, small coils of steam rose from vegetables filled liquid inside.
"I haven't puked yet so..."
I think my smile did not really convince him I was joking, the soup smelled fine, he was doing fine and he should've known it, but he looked a bit tad offended by my words nonetheless.
"Don't give me that face, I was just joking."
He kept his stern face, and then walked to the pot and carefully threw the inconsistently cut meat in it. When his cold stare locked with my eyes I remembered those awful days of the past, those in which he'd beat on me like he'd do with any other guy at school. He has always been a head taller and a broad shouldered bastard, a bully of sorts that had coming what happened to him... sadly I was with him then, and got to short end of the stick.
"You know how much that helps raise my spirit."
Just like with the authorities after doing something bad his only answer was silence. I was tired of that, him becoming a zombie and drone away for about ten minutes before coming back, just like he was doing right then. Jake mindlessly began washing the long forgotten dishes at a slow pace. It was like everything I did hurt him a bit too much.
"Why are you always this grumpy? *sigh* It's like high school all over again."
Jake chuckled lightly, and began rubbing faster to finish the plate he had in paw. He's will coming back to him.
"You know me, man! And we aren't through with school yet so please stop acting like you're that old."
He spoke excited, his tail wagging with the strength of a windmill. He stopped washing and began walking towards me and to the soup pot... brushing me with his tail on his way.
What a dummy. I thought to myself with closed eyes and shook my head. He spoke then.
"Yeah, you do."
Jake poked my nose with a beffy finger, I hated when he treated me like that and I knew he knew it. He just wanted to get on my nerves. I growled again.
"Hey don't growl at me."
This friendship of ours seemed to be based on who could depress the other and gain their happiness from it. But where I could gain my upper hand with words he needed to be physical. Just like with what he was gonna try next.
"Hey! I know what else is gonna raise your spirit!"
"Oh man..."
"Oh yeah, this soup needs to boil for about twenty minutes at a low fire, enough for a little... bath time!"
"This is humiliating."
Not only I had to endure Jake's presence during my baths, they were ritualistic enough, but today he insisted in assisting to undress me instead of just plugging the plastic protection for my casts.
"Yeah, say that to the guy playing nurse for you."
That was awkward enough to add anything else with words; I did want to say something along the line: Y_ou seem to be enjoying this so far_ but that... but that would've been just gay.
Without a word he led me to the small plastic chair where I had to sit on to bath those days. I felt stupid and useless letting him do that for me. I had always taken pride of how independent I was, ever since mom died from cirrhosis and dad walked away I was always like that, but Jake... fucking Jake made me feel like I was a pup again, I almost sobbed being walked like a disabled by him.
Once sat, I shut my eyes there was something worst coming. Jake began to undress himself, it was always just his upper body but it was still humiliating. I told myself it was Ok, this was necessary, with my ribs still hurting I could not do this properly, and that the last time I tried I tripped and had to go back to the hospital... I could not risk myself like that.
Even with all that, hearing his fur shuffling and his t-shirt being folded and placed somewhere was always unnerving, no matter how much I reasoned the many time I've seen him naked at the school showers, and that this was not the first time he aided me taking a bath. I could not help but feel like that little mongrel pup being left to cry alone in an apartment that stank more of alcohol and piss than anything resembling home. I felt betrayed then, like mom and dad plotted all my suffering just to leave once I was screwed enough... I felt they betrayed me.
"Can you pass me the shampoo?"
But there was Jake now, filling that hole again. I should've been thanking him but I couldn't. Pride was my sin, one I'm still trying to make amends for.
I took the bottle of generic shampoo, one of the cheapest. Maybe I should have bought a better one like Jake told me, after all a bright and well-kept pelt always attracted the bitches. I hesitated; giving the bottle to Jake always seemed like giving him permission to do with me as he pleased, and that realization always made me feel miserable, it hurt me worse than the fucking car crash that put us there. But this had to be done... I gave the bottle to my wolf friend with eyes closed. I always closed my eyes when he had to bath me.
"Just be careful with my cast, OK?"
"I know."
I heard the bottle being placed somewhere near him and then the water started running, one of the good things about living in a near tropical state is that you don't really need warm water.
The water cascaded down over my body, matting the fur and making me feel insignificant and inadequate. Jake's paws already mated with shampoo began massaging my shoulder blades, making me feel vulnerable. I've given him power over me, something I refused to do with everyone. But I did with him, I had to to let him help me and I hated myself for that. I know he must've smelled my fear; fear of him leaving and betraying my trust... just like my parents did before.
I fought not to cry when his paws began to lift casted arm and began to lightly brush my hurting ribs. I gasped, I could have let out a whine from time to time and excuse myself saying it was just the pain of his paws brushing a bit too hard but I didn't. I let him do the work I could not do for myself.
He left my arm and began to do the same with the other; I started noticing he began breathing heavily. I wanted to ask if something was wrong but the situation was awkward enough as it was.
I waited for Jake to stop himself, I only needed him to keep me stable while bathing now that only my lower body needed washing, with my good arm I could reach all that could be washed, and of course there was the business of my privates. I waited but Jake did not stop, instead he moved inside the shower and began to remove the shampoo from my body himself instead of let me or the water do it. Once finished his paws began to move from my arms to my chest.
A cold shiver ran down my spine and froze my tail. My senses enhanced then, the adrenaline in my blood made everything seem to happen slower, I opened my eyes but decided not to look at Jake fearing what I could've seen, I heard the steady flaying of his tail... and his breath, God I could feel him panting over my nape. But worst of all was the scent, his scent... it was different, there was arousal in the air, his fucking arousal was in the air and I said nothing, I fucking said nothing.
Slowly Jake's paws began to crawl down to my abdomen, I was never someone to look at and swoon over. I had a small gut, one that Jake began to massage with big paws. The wolf began to move closer to me for a better reach, his chest fur lightly brushing my back.
I whined my ears hugged my skull and my tail hide between the legs of the plastic chair.
"Shhh... it's alright." He said. "Trust me."
I said nothing, the water still running seemed to have stopped being blocked by his looming body. I wanted to ask for him to stop but I was scared, I trusted him, I fucking trusted him but he was now doing this.
Jake's paws began to descend, slowly caressing the fur of my underbelly. I began to find pleasure on it and felt dirty, this was not supposed to happen, I should not have felt like that but there I was, smelling my own arousal in the air mixing with his.
"I know you've been feeling lonely." Jake's voice rumbled in a baritone I've never heard from him before. "I've been there too, you know that."
But saying that wasn't enough for him, he wanted to say more. My ears perked away trying to shut with every word he spat.
"I'm sorry Cathy left you, that bitch didn't deserve you anyway. But we have each other man."
He caught my ear between his canines, stopping it from moving away. He wanted me to hear him uninterrupted.
"Just a quick rub... that's all I ask."
I felt his chest closing the distance between us, I could then hear and feel him heaving, I could feel his heart rushing inside his chest and him breathing on my moistened scent and arousal.
He shivered.
My cock began to swell out and his fingers touched the head for the first time, making me whine again. He placed his head over my own pressing me to move forward, his paws flowed with the remaining water in my pubic fur but avoided my sheath and balls, he began to rub my legs.
His head fell to over my right shoulder and began to nuzzle me. I felt his smile on my cheek.
"Man..."
Man... He always called me that when things were going wrong or when he was totally excited about something. That scared me, he began to move his paws from my tights and I closed my eyes again. Part of me wanted this, part of me wanted this to be just a dream... no, not a dream but a fucking nightmare.
But this was happening; my fully erected cock was now at Jake's mercy, I was at Jake's mercy. The wolf did not lose time then, he began massaging my balls and lightly squishing my forming knot. I tried suppressing a whimpering moan but failed, hearing my distress Jake moved his head and began to lick at my nape, distracting me for a second as he began to stroke my red member with an expertise I found rare.
I began to roughly enjoy the whole ordeal. Just think of a gal doing this I thought to myself, something which could have worked just fine if not for the powerful male scent surrounding me and overwhelming my own.
Jake's grip over my balls tightened, forcing me to involuntarily ark my back forward and place my good paw over his. I could not help but look at our hands, his rolling my family jewels and mine moving along its rhythm.
I whined again but did not move my paw. Jake changed his licking to light bites over my coat, and pulling on it. I growled... I wasn't going to let him mark me like that. I wasn't his bitch.
I tried to stand up but my casted leg prevented me.
"Sorry..." He said with a small whine. "Just try and to enjoy it."
Jake's huge frame moved to prevent any other move from my part. He wanted me there, one way or the other. I began to pant and he went back to licking, his right paw left my balls and gripped my now fully formed knot, I moaned on the sensation. His free paw began to stroke me... fast.
With the combined sensations I forgot where I was, I had to buck up. I forgot about his scent and his body pressing against mine. His paw accelerated with every second, I gripped at his beffy forearm and began to hump on his grip, that sensation... I've missed it a bit too much. I ignored it when I felt him humping to the air behind me, I was too enthralled with my own humping to care for his.
My precum slithered in his paw, making his work easier, his grip on my knot was almost painful, but it is always when you knot with someone. I heard Jake say my name a few times, saying and muttering unintelligible phrases. Some nice, some cheesy and dirty and others just plain disgusting from my straight point of view, I growled when he'd say them.
I did not care anymore that it was my best friend giving me the best paw job of my life, I did not think it was the bestest, just the thought of taking of a prohibited pleasure made it all more exciting, the risk I was taking was something I did not expect to be made into a reason for this to be aroused but it became one anyway.
I heard the my slippery erection move in and out of Jake's expert paws, his right one tightening the grip on my knot with the same rhythm my heart bombed my adrenaline filled blood, his left one masturbating me with the speed of a freight train.
I felt my ears burning as I speeded on his death grip, my hearth reaching and almost exciding point, as my mind was a made a blur with the sexual bliss of mating.
With an ear-wrecking howl, I finally reached my orgasm, an explosion of light and stars behind my shut eyes as I felt Jake's paw cup around the head of my cock. I found myself basking on my afterglow but Jake insisted on massaging my spent cock, he did long enough for me to shot some more, this time directly on his cupped paw.
I was panting and I could feel him too, panting and heaving on my scent and the odor of my semen that now overpowered his. Slowly he retracted his left paw; I opened my eyes to see it go out of eyesight followed by its twin.
Jake placed his right paw on my shoulder, he was moaning now. He then gripped on my shoulder with such strength I barked out for him to get off me but he ignored. I turned to see the big oaf but when I did, I could not believe what I've seen.
With an absentminded face, Jake lapped and licked his cum stained paw, delighting on its savor for what I could see. Even the part of it that oozed out of his muzzle he licked back before going back at his fingers for any remnant to be found.
I was disgusted, not a single bitch I've been with could stand the taste of that and now Jake was eating cum like it was ambrosia?
"Mother of... you're eating that shit?!"
My words came out undiluted, just the same as I thought them.
Jake immediately let off my shoulder to look at me in the eyes, there was half a second before he realized what he had been doing and began to tear. He whined and rushed out of the shower, he did fast enough to make me lose my balance and fall to my left. Luckily this time I could stop myself from injuring my ribs again.
I felt the water running down my body again and I propped myself back up to look for the wolf but Jake was already gone, ten seconds after that I heard my door being slammed close.
I think I was in the shower for about five solid minutes, thinking of nothing and everything but so incoherently I hardly remember anything. I slowly stood up turned off the water, dried myself and got out.
Once clothed with the very same package Jake brought home, I picked my walking cane and went to the kitchen to turn it off. That day's dinner was the strangest of them all because, First of all: Something Jake cooked was actually good, restaurant level. And that alone was a sign of the end of the days. Second: I've got a pawjob from the straightest guy I ever met, and my best friend to boot. And third and last but no less important: He completely enjoyed it if I must trust his eating my jizz.
No, I think there was something else. While I did enjoy it as any sexual experience I had to that date, I was worried about the future. The immediate and the long to come, Jake had his cell phone turned off and I could not go out to look for him in that condition, I could not ask anyone to do it for me since sadly I was the only one there to keep an eye for him.
We were pariahs, forced to band together but... now? What now? I was scared... I hated being scared, and all of this was Jake's fault. My gay friend's fault.