The Cameron Hotel Chapter 12
Jasyn sat, his ears folded back, and stared at Alex's house. It was a place he used to know as well as his own home, but over the last two months, he'd barely seen its front yard, let alone been inside.
"I hope..." Muttering, he looked down at his lap and the bouquet of white roses laying across it. He gulped, bit his lip, grabbed the flowers, and opened the door of his truck.
He'd been sitting there for nearly fifteen minutes, building up his courage and letting his AC shield him from the mid July heat, and now he was finally ready. He padded slowly up the walk way to the door, gulping one last time as he came to a stop. With a breath, he rang the doorbell and rocked awkwardly, repositioning the flowers from paw to paw, and shifting his weight from foot to foot.
Inside, sitting alone in the kitchen, Alex's ears perked up at the sound of the door bell. He stood to go answer the door, but moved to quickly, jarring the table and sending his soda and a half-full bowl of soup tumbling to the floor. Cursing himself and his clumsiness, he stumbled about, trying to pick up the bowl and the can, and at least cover the liquid in paper towels as quickly as he could, so he could still get to the door.
Outside, Jasyn flattened his ears and looked down sadly, his tail moving between his legs. Two months ago, he would have waited longer, but now he was so convinced that he was unwanted, that any delay stretched out like an eternity. And it didn't take long for this one to convince him he'd made a mistake in even coming.
"I'm sorry Alex..." The wolf placed the flowers at the foot of the door with a small piece of paper and turned away. He padded solemnly back to his truck, giving one last glance at the door before he shifted into gear and drove off.
The fox opened the door, paws still damp from rinsing the soup and soda from his fur. He got there only a moment too late, though, and saw only the tail end of a truck zipping out of view.
"...Jasyn?" He took a step forward and felt a cold crunch under his foot paw. When he looked down, he saw the flowers, their stems, wrapped in paper & plastic, under his foot. His tail swishing ever so slightly, he blinked as he took a step backwards and bent over to pick them up, "Jasyn..."
Alex flipped the card over, to find that only his name was written on it...but he shouldn't have expected anything more from Jasyn. As a small tear collected in the corner of his eye, he softly hugged the flowers and disappeared back into his home.
The Cameron Hotel Chapter 12 -- Reached A Verdict
Two days later, past what had nearly become a revolving door, Jasyn & Matt sat in the ottercoon's otherwise empty living room. As per Matt's request, Chris had taken Sirrus and Riddick off to occupy themselves elsewhere, and Matt, himself had taken off from work: a leave granted due to the rather extreme circumstances of the day.
Today was the final day of Peter's trial.
"How many flowers?"
Jasyn sat in his suit, hung his head and pinned his ears back, "A dozen." He sighed and absentmindedly tugged at a tie borrowed from Chris, "White. White roses."
Matt, sitting beside him on the couch, patted his younger friend on the shoulder, "That must have cost quite a bit of money, huh?"
"Doesn't matter. Didn't care." The wolf chuckled and shook his head, "If I thought it would help, I'd be more than happy to spend every cent I have."
Matt smiled, his paw resting on Jasyn's back, "You know, for all the boyfriends as I've had over the years, I haven't once had one bring me a bouquet? Not for any reason..."
"I'm sorry to hear that." Jasyn smiled apologetically, "But, really, I don't even know if he got them. I don't think he was home..." He flattened his ears again, "...or maybe he just didn't want to talk to me."
The ottercoon moved his paw up to the back of the wolf's head, playfully messing up his headfur a bit like a father would his son's, doing his damnedest to cheer Jasyn up. As his paw left the younger fur's hair, he let out short chuckle, realizing how friendly they'd become, "You know Jasyn: you're turning out to be a really good kid."
Jasyn raised his head, looking at Matt with his big, sad eyes, but managed a soft smile, "Thanks..."
"I don't know what it is...but I swear, Jasyn: you're hardly even the same kid I met in the spring." Matt leaned away, resting on an elbow, "Do you remember when we met? If you'd've been a little older or me a little younger, we would have come to blows!" He smiled wide, "I know I haven't changed. Too stubborn. So it's gotta' be you! I don't know whether it was the breakup or what, but, I mean, really...would you have found yourself sitting here beside me like this back in the spring? Hell, you didn't even flinch when I touched you just now..."
The wolf perked his ears up a little, and his brow twitched. With a soft chuckle, he went about covering up his change in character as best as possible, "Y-yeah...well, don't get me wrong..." He smiled an uncomfortable but friendly and affectionate smile, "I still think you're an arrogant ass...just a likeable one."
"Yeah?" Matt smiled back in kind, "I think I can live with that."
"You'll have to." Jasyn huffed playfully, "It's all you're getting."
"But Jasyn...what I'm getting at," The ottercoon changed the subject, scratching the back of his neck, "You've grown up a bit. You've matured. Coming to terms with the change in your life, and facing your violent side like you've done...it can have that effect."
"Thanks?" Jasyn raised an eyebrow, not understanding how that was a different point than the older fur had already made. He opened his mouth to ask the ottercoon to clarify...
"But I don't think Alex has." Matt continued before he could ask, "I'm not saying he's IMmature, exactly...I just get the feeling that it's going to take more than a bouquet, however expensive or heartfelt, to get him past all of this. He's a good kid, but he just...he's been through a lot, and still has more to go through, yet. He hasn't had a chance to really face up to everything yet...you know?" He counted off on his fingers as he continued, "Peter, the trial, how his home life has been turned upside down, his fight with you...and most importantly, how he really feels about you." He looked up, shaking his head, "Whichever way that may fall."
The wolf looked down again, his tail looping around his leg as he sighed, "I know...I just, I don't know what to do. What could even..." He looked up again, "I mean, Matt...what would you want if you were in his situation? What would you DO if you were in mine...?"
Matt opened his mouth to answer, but stopped, having been asked a question he really had to think about. He thought for a moment, neither him nor his young friend saying a word before he finally spoke up, "If I were you? I really wouldn't know what the to do, either. I'd...I'd do everything I could to be there for him, through everything." He shrugged, "I mean...that's why he fell in love with you from what I hear. You stood by him...you showed him the kind of love no one else had...and you took care of him. Because when..." He stopped to clarify, "And I mean, I'm not trying to be against you here. I don't intend to take anyone's side. But Jasyn, when was the last time, even before the threesome, that you were there for him like that?"
Jasyn tilted his head, genuinely confused by that, "I've always been there for him. Even now, I would be. If he came to me for help, there wouldn't be a thing in the world to stop me. I've...I've even been keeping in touch with Luke, hanging out with him, and being his friend, all summer, just like Alex wanted. I mean..." He angled his head to look at the ground, "A-and even before the threesome...I would have done anything for him, and he knew that. All he would have had to do was ask..."
"When he asked." The ottercoon rested his chin in his paw, "What about when he didn't?"
Jasyn looked up, "What?"
"You'd help him with every problem he asked you to help with." Matt leaned forward, "But what about the ones he DIDN'T ask about?"
"How am I supposed to know there's a problem if...if he doesn't say so?" The wolf rubbed his forehead, frustrated.
"Didn't you used to date girls?" Matt sat up straight again, raising an eyebrow.
"I..." Jasyn, at first, grimaced in thought, but broke. Soft at first, he let out a growing laugh at that, shaking his head and looking down again, "I guess I get the point."
The ottercoon shrugged, "We like to talk big about how lucky we are, being gay. About how because we don't date women, we get to escape those 'if you don't know what's wrong, I'm not telling you!' moments, or weighted questions that are really traps, and all that other stuff that bad comics talk about..." He chuckled, "But when it comes right down to it, a lot of us are more emotional than any woman."
Jasyn began, "And...I love Alex, but..."
"...but he's more emotional than any of us." Matt finished for him. "But I'm just saying...I just think that that was something he expected. I'd seen you do it in the past, but those last few weeks before the threesome, you weren't really..."
The wolf interjected when Matt seemed to stumble over what he wanted to say, "Predicting what he needed anymore?"
"Right." Matt pointed, "Apparently the anger thing was bothering him for a while. And I'm sure there was more than a sign or two you missed out on before and during the threesome, or..."
"...or things would have gone quite differently." Jasyn leaned his head back with a sigh, "But what can I do, now? I've apologized. I've taken care of Luke. I've been there in every way he'd let me during the trial. And day before yesterday...with the flowers..." He ran his paws through his headfur, clenching them into fists, gripping long fur, "But I can only do as much as he'll let me."
The ottercoon sighed, "I know Jasyn...I know. I can guess, but I can't really begin to tell you what's REALLY going through his head. I know he's hurt, I know I would have been too, but that poor kid has a lot of shit to deal with. He...more than anything else right now Jasyn, he needs friends."
Jasyn finally looked back up, "But...I don't even know if he likes me anymore..."
Matt had exasperated all he knew to tell the wolf and decided to just change the subject, "Closing statements are today right? Then the jury goes into deliberation?"
The wolf nodded slowly, "Yeah."
"Any indication I'll need to be taking any more days off?" Matt leaned back on his elbow again.
"I haven't heard anything." Jasyn shrugged, "But there's really no way of knowing how long the jury'll be out. I mean...I guess the lawyers might have a guess...but they don't exactly call ME with updates."
"True enough." The ottercoon looked out the back window, "You've been through a lot more of this than me. Any worries the defense or someone else might have some way to cause any other sort of delay?"
Jasyn shrugged and followed his older friend's line of sight, seeing the bench they sat on the first time they had a heart-to-heart. "Probably not. I think everything that can be said has been said. The jury was a bit taken aback when Peter tried to use my raping him in his defense..." Looking back at Matt, he ran a paw through his headfur and let out a short chuckle of disbelief, "Th-they didn't believe him."
Matt blinked, "I'm surprised that that part of his testimony was even allowed! Seems like any judge in his right mind would make the jury disregard something like that, right? Before a criminal act on your part could be used in his defense, you would have to have been tried and convicted. Or...or there should at least be SOME chain of evidence or investigation, right?" He scratched his head, "If I'm all caught up with my Law & Order Trivia, that is..."
The wolf held back letting out a laugh and smiled, "They did disregard it...but he just sorta' blurted it out."
Matt raised an eyebrow, "Probably against the advice of counsel..."
Jasyn shrugged, "Maybe..." and glanced at his watch, "Uhm...we probably should get going." He stood up, brushing off his pants and shirt.
"I should get my tie on first." The ottercoon stood up to and grabbed his jacket off the back of the recliner as he walked out of the room, "Grab yourself something to drink, and I'll bring money for food. We might have to wait a while once the jury goes into deliberation. I've been through this...or...something similar, anyway...before. It can take them quite a while sometimes."
"M-Matt?"
Matt stopped before he left the room, and turned around, "Yeah?"
The wolf stepped forward a few steps and swallowed every ounce of his pride, wrapping his arms around Matt, and hugging him deeply, his head resting on the ottercoon's shoulder, and his eyes closed tight.
Matt blinked for a second, but then smiled, gently wrapping his own arms around the young wolf, pulling him in close and resting his own head against Jasyn's.
"Thank you..."
"Any time."
A very long few hours...too many streets to bother with counting...a set of large double doors...a flight of stairs later...a second set of doors... two impassioned arguments...and a vending machine later...
"Has the Jury reached a verdict?"
"We have, your honor."
"On the main count of the indictment..."
The courtroom was shrouded in a breathless silence, as everyone present -- lawyers, defendant, victim, family, and the gallery, in the back of which sat an ottercoon and wolf -- was wrapped up in the Judge and Jury's final exchange. But, for most it was just so much numb white noise, as they waited for just one word...
"Guilty." Sighs and gasps filled the courtroom immediately, as if no one there HADN'T been holding their breath awaiting the verdict, and only now were free to breathe. The judge and foreman's voices continued to be the only voices in the room, but no one was listening anymore. The lesser counts, regardless of verdict, were negligible. Peter's flesh drained cold, washing away with the last of his hope. Alex slumped, falling against his mother, tight in a hug from her, while his father beside them simply stared at the wooden pew before him. And in the back, Matt and Jasyn stood, one waiting to approach the emotional family, and the other waiting to leave...
Smile unrestrained, Jasyn exited the courtroom, not waiting to hear the rest, and uncomfortable with the any remaining outpourings of emotion, or continued legal procedures. In the hallway, he took a seat on a long bench, leaning back against the cool, stone wall, "It's over..."
Matt walked out a good five minutes later, after the judge had set the date for sentencing, and he'd had his chance to speak with Alex and his parents. He loosened his tie, stretched, and yawned, before sitting down beside Jasyn. "They're going to sentence him in two weeks. You want me to come up here with you for that, too?"
The wolf looked over, still lazily leaning back on the bench, and nodded, "Yeah...that'd be great. Sure Alex would like it too." A long empty pause followed as Matt stared at the floor, and Jasyn looked up at the ceiling, "Hey Matt?"
"Yeah?" Neither fur looked at one another.
"Did..." Jasyn hesitated, "Did you talk to Alex? I mean...how...or i-is he okay?"
The ottercoon took a breath in through his nose and pushed himself up to his feet, "Ask him yourself." He moved aside as the doors to the courtroom, which had been swinging open and closed the whole time, opened again, ushering out Alex and his family. "I'll be sitting downstairs when you're ready to go grab a bite to eat..."
Matt left, and Jasyn gulped and pointed his ears forward as he stumbled to his feet. He was trying his best to look as relaxed as he was 'supposed' to be, but was failing miserably.
Alex turned around and looked over at Jasyn. It was one of the far-too-few times they'd been close enough to talk since May, and the first not in preparation or pursuit of Peter's trial. But before either one could say a thing, Alex's mother stepped in between.
She reached out and gave Jasyn a quite unexpected hug as she sniffled softly, nearly past her crying, "Thank you...thank you, Jasyn! You've been such a wonderful friend to Alex through all of this."
The wolf hugged back, slightly bewildered, "R-really...it's okay, Mrs. Moen." He looked down with his eyes, still hugging but thinking back to May, "I really don't deserve that much praise."
Alex smiled softly at the two, mouthing under his breath, "Of course you do..." as he wondered if the wolf could even see him.
His mother let go of Jasyn, smiling softly with damp eyes, "We've seen you up here, plenty, but why don't we see you at the house anymore? You used to come over all the time! For a while I thought you two were fighting or something..." She paused only slightly before continuing, her voice considerably lower, "But I know you kids are still together. I saw the flowers you brought over. You think I wouldn't know it was you just because didn't put-"
"Mom!" Alex spoke up to stop her.
Jasyn smiled slightly, holding back from beaming, knowing that Alex got his flowers, "Don't sell your son short, Mrs. Moen! Maybe I just have some competition to deal with. For all you know, you just got him in trouble with me!" He winked, causing the vixen to defy both her age and the maudlin atmosphere of the day, with a giggle. With a sadder smile, he tilted his head and continued, "And I'm sorry it's been so long. There's just...you know...a lot of stuff going on."
Alex's mother smiled softly, her face stained from tears as she tried her best to think of anything other than this whole fiasco, "Look: you two talk. We'll leave you alone for a little bit, and then maybe you can go out for some food, with us here in a bit, okay?"
Jasyn gulped and thought, but still wasn't sure how Alex felt, "I...I don't know. Matt and I kind of already have plans, and I wouldn't want to cancel on him..."
The vixen smiled wider, "Mr. Cameron, of all people, is more than welcome to join us!"
Jasyn tried not to look too obvious as he searched for a better reason, "Maybe another time. We have other stuff to take care of, too, and we wouldn't want to hold you up. Thank you for the offer, though, Mrs. Moen."
"Uhm..." Alex opened his mouth to argue only to decide against it.
With a breath, his mother shrugged and smiled a little less, "Okay, then. Well, maybe we'll see you at the house soon." After patting the wolf on the shoulder softly, she turned and walked off with her husband, leaving Jasyn and Alex in the slowly emptying hall.
Jasyn turned and his and Alex's eyes caught. Immediately, he flattened his ears, before looking down and shuffling his feet, "H-hey..."
The fox bit his bottom lip softly, and stepped up closer, "They...errr...they're sitting on my dresser." He smiled, watching Jasyn's feet as well, "They still look really nice, too. Haven't wilted or anything."
Jasyn perked up his ears, and followed with his head, looking at the fox, "I...uhm..." He smiled shyly, rubbing his arm, "I'm glad you like them." He shuffled again, his ears standing full length, "I-I would have written more on the card...but...I mean...I'm not really good at..."
"You're lucky I saw your truck..." Alex cut him off and looked up, "You forgot to even put your name on it."
The wolf pointed both his ears to the side and his eyes went wide, "I did? Aww man..." He looked down again, blushing.
"Not that it would have mattered much, with my mom around." Alex scratched the back of his neck, and shifted his weight.
Jasyn rubbed his arm again, looking nervously around the hallway, "Yeah...I guess so."
"You uhm..." The fox pointed in the direction his parents and Matt had all gone, "...you realize you're gonna' go eating with us, right?"
"Hmm?" Jasyn looked back at his friend.
"Right now," Alex pointed again, "My mom's downstairs talking to Matt."
The wolf smiled and nodded, "And I didn't fill him in on the excuse."
"Didn't figure." Alex smiled back.
"Do..." Jasyn lowered his voice, like he was discussing a secret, "Do you want me to go?"
"I...I do." The fox hesitated and stammered, "Do you?"
Jasyn's smile, though apprehensive, widened, "I do."
Silence crept around them, and Alex took a breath, unsure of what to say. Half of him wanted to hug Jasyn, but the other half wanted to just turn and leave. Not out of anger or sadness, but just to escape the awkward and confusion moment.
The wolf gulped and took a step back, looking over to the door to the stairs, "Alex...I'm sorry."
Alex drew a shaky breath and opened his mouth, but nothing came out.
Jasyn looked back at his friend, smiling, but tears welling at the corners of his eyes, "I-I...I don't know what I can do anymore, Alex." He boldly placed a single paw on the side of Alex's face, smiling sadly as he just gave up, letting the tears roll down his cheeks and stain his fur. "I just...I need you to know that...to know that I'll always be here for you, Alex. I'll always love you and protect you. I'll always keep you safe. I'll...I'll always be here Alex...always..." He turned and began to walk, his hand sliding off Alex's cheek and down to his side, as he made his way to the stairs, "I'm sorry..."
"Jasyn! Wait...I..." The fox opened his muzzle again, his entire lower jaw quivering as he took the few quick strides to follow the wolf, "...Jasyn." and put his paw on his friend's shoulder to stop him.
Jasyn turned around, looking down the few inches into Alex's eyes, confused and the tears still staining his fur.
"I..." Alex shook his head a little, "Don't be sorry, Jasyn. Please..." He sniffled, trying not to cry anymore. He did that too much as it was, "I'm not mad at you...I...I wasn't...I'm not...I..." He took a shaky breath and closed his eyes, collected tears forcing their way out, "I love you Jasyn. No one..." He looked away, for some reason not feeling comfortable saying something like this, "You...no one has ever been there for me like you have Jasyn...no one..."
The wolf smiled and took a step forward to hug the fox, "Alex thank g-"
"But." Alex stepped back, "I can't take you back..." He sniffled again, "I want to...I want to forget what happened but...but I...you and me...we...and Luke...and no matter what I...I...can still see Peter leering at me when I close my eyes...and after what you..." His lip quivered again, and he sobbed, "I just don't know what I'm...what to...what I'm feeling or what to do, and I...I..." Alex shook, trying his best to figure out what he was thinking, let alone what to say, and just letting it all flow out, jumbled and disconnected.
"Alex..." Jasyn took another step closer and put his paw on his friend's face again.
"I'm so sorry Jasyn." The fox finally broke, letting a hiccup and a sob through quivering lips, as he gave up on holding back, "I just don't know what to do! I can't...I want to...I can't take you back...but God Jasyn, I need you!" He clenched his paws, "I...I just...NO ONE's been there for me like you have. I need...a friend, more than a friend, better than family, I...I need you..."
"I'm..." Jasyn only smiled. He ignored every feeling inside telling him to be hurt, angry or sad. Gently, he wiped away a bit of Alex's tears. His fox needed him, and that was all that mattered. "I'm always here...always..."
"No one...Jasyn. I...I love you..." Alex sighed softly, "I love you..."
The wolf took a step forward, wrapping his arms around Alex too quickly for the fox to avoid. He pulled him in and held him close, the fox's head on his chest, and his own chin between his friend's ears, "I love you too Alex. I love you too..."
Alex clung to his best friend, not caring who in the courthouse saw, "Thank you..."
"And if all we can be is friends, Alex...if..." Jasyn took a deep breath, closing his eyes and squeezing the fox, "At least...at least we've got that."
~
There we go! The soap opera, Forbidden, continues!!
* Starring: F. R. Borealis as Eirc Matthew Cameron Alexander Collin Moen and Mrs. Moen Cecil B. North as Jasyn Aiden Fuller and Mr. Moen, the Judge, & the Foreman *
Cecil was a writer here as well, back in the Yiffstar days. If you want to check out the stuff he wrote back then, go ahead and look him up. His username on here is: Cecil_88
Jasyn and Alex are back! Miss 'em? A little bittersweet moment in the life of our Fox and Wolf. Peter's been convicted, and that chapter of their life can finally be put behind them...but there's still much distance to cross. Jasyn is devoted to getting his fox back, trying to prove he's changed and will be better, and even taking care of Luke. But Alex still can't get past everything and take him back. Will he? Now that the trial is over, and Peter is out of his life completely, will he be able to move past his scars and emotional baggage and take his wolf back? Will Jasyn continue to be the changed, devoted friend, pursuing him? What role might the others involved in this saga -- Matt, Luke, or even Chris & Riddick -- play in the outcome? Stay tuned to find out ^.^
SIDE NOTE: For those who read my journal...or didn't... Look! I've stopped using ^_^ Also, Chapter 13 is half way done, but I won't be putting it out until I've gotten a little ways into 14. Want them close together.
Anyway, thanks for reading!
I welcome any feedback! Comment or PM me here, or email me at frostborealis[at]gmail.com
See you for the next 27 chapters of Forbidden! ^.^