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When Stevo opened his eyes, he discovered that he was in a jeep.

"Ooooh crap." he whispered to himself.

He saw that his clothes were gone. Instead, he had a brown military suit and pants with a cap.

He also saw that the jeep was moving down a dirt road. He scooted up and asked the driver a question.

"Sir, where are you taking me?"

"We're heading towards MASH (Mobile Army Surgical Hospital) 4077!" the driver yelled. He was shocked to hear what he just said.

"MASH?" He thought.

When they got closer to it minutes later, he could see it all: Rosie's bar, the welcome sign, the tents, even the helicopter pad. They made a loop around the flagpole and stopped in front of either Col. Henry's or Potter's office.

"Well, here you go. Now go grab your things, I gotta go pick someone up from the 8063rd." As he got all of his things, the jeep took off like a rocket. Then a short man came up to him, wearing round glasses, a dusty green jacket, a light brown cap, and holding a clipboard on his right.

"Sir, are you the new doctor, Captain Stephen J. Lambert?"

"Why yes, yes I am."

"Well then, Col. Potter would like to see you in his office once you got here. Hi, I'm Corporal O'Reilly." He shook hands with Stevo.

"Nice to meet you." He grinned.

"Now, please follow me." He followed the Corporal to where Potter's office is.

As Col. Potter was writing on his desk, Corporal O'Reilly opened the doors with Stevo following.

"Col. Potter, this is Capt. Stephen J. Lambert, our new doctor."

"Hi, Colonel." Colonel Potter stood up from his desk and shook his hand.

"Oh, nice to meet you. Fresh from medical school, eh?"

"Yes sir."

"Oh Radar, call the other docto-"

"Doctors, I want to introduce them to our new staff member. Yes sir." Then Radar left the room and entered into his office.

Meanwhile, back at "The Swamp", Hawkeye and BJ were in the middle of a chess game, while Frank was polishing his boots, clucking in a bad tune.

"Ugh, Frank, could you keep it down? You're clucking is making all of the Commies think that you're their missing turkey dinner." Hawkeye said, putting his glass of scotch back beside him.

"What? It's a beautiful day, isn't it?"

"Yeah, for a war so horrifying." BJ said.

"Anyway, where were we?" Hawkeye asked.

After a long pause, BJ told Hawkeye, "I've heard we're getting a new doctor today."

"Oh really, how could you tell?" Then the speakers from outside came on.

"Attention all personnel, I need all of the first medical staff to come to Col. Potter's office at once. That is all."

"By the sound of that." Then Hawkeye, BJ, and Frank got up and went to the office.

About 2 minutes later, all of the staff came into the room.

"Capt. Stephen, here is our staff. Capt. Benjamin "Hawkeye" Pierce, Capt. B.J. Hunnicut, Maj. Frank Burns, Maj. Margaret Houlihan, Chaplain "Father" Mulcahy, and Corp. Maxwell Klinger."

"Nice to meet you all." he shook all their hands.

"I hope he isn't Col. Flagg undercover again." Hawkeye whispered.

"Everyone, this is Captain Stephen J. Lambert, our newest doctor. For the next month, he will be helping us with all of our wounded patients. Everyone will help and show him the way around here until he gets the hang of it. Understood?" One at a time, they all said, "Yes sir." Then, Radar barged into the room.

"Choppers!" Then he and everyone ran out.

"Oh boy." Stevo thought to himself as he ran towards the bus.

"Attention all personnel, incoming wounded."

As the wounded got in, everyone but Stevo, Father, Klinger, and Radar were doing surgery.

"We've got one more soldier to patch up. Stephen, you got him" Stevo's eyes widened when he heard what he just said.

"Excuse me?" he said to himself. Then he thought of what to do after watching the whole series.

"Okay, Klinger, Radar, get him on the table now!" They did as they were told. He got a little worried about what to do now.

"Margaret, can you help me? His blood is pouring all over! Clamp!" he yelled. "Yes sir."

After 2 hours, he patched up the soldier he was working on. He then went outside in the hallway and sat on a bench.

"Whew. I thought I was gonna lose that one." Then Col. Potter showed up.

"Stephen, everything that you brought is all in the tent you're assigned in."

"Yes sir."

When he went into his tent, he was surprised at what he was seeing. Everything was clean, the pale green bedsheets were perfect, even the air was clear. So, he got into his green jacket and pants he was required to wear and drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, he got up and was greeted by Father on the way to the mess tent.

"Well hello, Stephen. What a lovely morning, isn't it?"

"Yea, indeed it is."

"Well, joy cometh in the morning!"

"Hehe, anyway nice meeting you, Father!"

"You too!"

At the mess tent, he got his food and went to the table where Klinger was at.

"Well good morning, Klinger." he greeted him.

"Good morning to you, sir." Klinger said. Then Stevo noticed something different about him.

"Uh, Klinger, what's with the Dorothy dress? Trying to get airlifted to the land of Oz?"

"No, I'm doing this just to get a Section 8."

"Uh... ok then? Anyway, can you give me a tour around the place when we're done eating?"

"Eh, I'm still tired, but okay."

So, they walked all over the MASH, when, as they were going to "The Swamp", Maj. Houlihan confronted them.

"Capt. Stephen, I have a job for you."

"Yes ma'am, what is it?"

"We're low on some medical supplies, so I need you to drive to the 8063rd to get some things and bring them back here. Got it?" he nodded.

At the jeep, he was getting ready to leave until Klinger came running towards him.

"Stephen! Wait!" He turned around.

"What is it?"

"Can I come with you?" He thought for a quick moment.

"Ugh, I don't know... um, okay. But you better be careful while you're with me, I've heard some snipers are not far from the 8063rd."

"Yes sir." Klinger jumped in the jeep with Stevo, then he quickly drove off from the compound and into the dusty, sniper-infested roads.

As they made their way to the 8063rd, Stevo got a little quiet.

"So, Klinger, where you from?"

"Toledo, Ohio. You?"

"New Zion, South Carolina."

But as they were driving, he slowly stopped to move through a group of soldiers. He asked one of the soldiers a question.

"Excuse me, sir, but how far is it from here to the 8063rd?"

"Um, its about half a mile I think."

"Okay, thanks."

But as he was about to speed up, a bomb exploded behind them.

"TAKE COVER!" Klinger yelled. He and Klinger quickly out of the jeep. But just as they got out, the jeep exploded. Stevo yelled in pain and fell face first into the ground near a bush. He looked at himself, and discovered that he was bleeding on his left shoulder.

"I'VE BEEN HIT! MEDIC!" Then a medic soldier came running towards him and looked at his dog tag.

"Medic, am I gonna be okay?"

"I think you're gonna be just fine. Just a long cut, that's all."

"Wait, where's Klinger?!"

"Here I am, Captain!" Klinger ran towards him. He was all fine, except his pants were ripped at some places.

"Medic, where's the chopper?" Then the whirring came closer and closer. There it was. Then he and Klinger lifted him to it, while the ambulance arrived as well.

"Okay, Stephen, we're gonna strap you down that way you would be safe. Okay?"

"Okay." Then the chopper began to lift itself and fly away. Klinger waved.

"Boy, I hope he's okay."