FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Lots of people thought that the large hadron collider would end the world. And it did, but not in the way anyone expected. And no-one remembers. But they were all frozen. Except for one fur. This is his take on how the world ended.

Well, I'm just your average fur. A wolf fox hybrid. My name is Jeff if you care enough to know. No one else does. I've got orangey red fur and jeans and a wicked cool head bandage. I have a job repairing and cleaning the LHC and I've gotten a bit more sane and then, just let myself go a bit. I have forgotten most of the martial arts that I knew and have grown a bit less brave. I really need to start practicing again. So, one day I was performing maintenance inside the LHC when for some reason the so called scientists turned it on. 

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?"I yelled.

I pressed myself to the wall to try to avoid all the particles.   I knew that if I was hit by one of those particles it would rip right through me and out the other side. I tried to remember what the scientists had been doing recently. I yelped as a particle sliced my shin and ripped right through my jeans. Black holes. The scientists had been playing around with black holes. Oh god, were they still doing it? As if in an answer, one of the monsters started forming in the tube. I panicked as my fur started to get pulled closer and closer to the hole. I grab onto a pipe and it rips off the wall, spraying its content into my face. I gasp at the searing pain and let go of the pipe. And I fly into the black hole.

I open my eyes again sitting on, a cloud? But how? Clouds are just evaporated water. Although this one seemed to be spewing ice, snow and other various stuff like that at the ground. But looking down I saw the pyramids, partly covered in snow. But this was one of the hottest places on earth.

I smacked myself on the forehead with the palm of my hand. The black hole. I must of ripped of one of the cooling pipes filled with liquid nitrogen. And the black hole must of duplicated it and spread it all over the world. But how was I here? Then I looked to my left and saw a plane floating in mid air. Not moving. With the pilot frozen in mid speech. But still the question remained. How am I still not frozen? I stand up and then physics seemed to take hold again and I plummeted through the cloud, hurtling toward the ground. Only I didn't hurtle. I seemed to just fall through the cloud and then appear on the ground. Strange. I look around and I'm standing on a semi snow covered Uluru in Australia. I swear I was in Egypt only seconds ago. Then I see a tiny pinprick of light which started growing bigger and bigger. Then a fur appeared who looked suspiciously like the paramedic I had seen when I got my bandage. A white tiger with blue streaks running vertically through her black stripes. The paramedic never had blue streaks though. And this one was female.

"Really, Jeff, I am not impressed." She said in a voice like silk.

"It wasn't my fault. It's the scientists who were running the LHC. They shut me in there." I argued.

"No, I mean the snow. Now because you broke the pipe we have a time limit to unfreeze time so the sun can harmlessly melt the snow. If we take to long then the world will become too snowed over to return to normal." She sighs and continues."Why couldn't you just not get a job? And just keep shouting at random objects?"

"Apparently shouting at objects is illegal and I'm not allowed to be unemployed."

"Well, we still have to save the world. Because no one else will. And of course, it wouldn't be complete without the fact that the black hole separated our positive side from our negative side like in the movies. So we have to battle our evil selves while saving the world. Isn't life great."

"If you are so annoyed why bother anyway?"

"Because its my job. And before you ask whether you've seen me before that was my twin brother. Not me."

"Well obviously because he only had one set of stripes."

"What do you mean?" She says. And then catches sight of the blue stripes."Well isn't that interesting."

"So where to now? Well we've got to cross the ocean somehow. But a boat would be too slow. It's much faster to walk."

We slide down the side of Uluru and into a car park. 

"Let's grab that jaguar over there." She said. But I wasn't listening. I had seen something even better.

"No." I said.

"No?" She said in surprise.

"We're taking that one." I said pointing.

"What's so special about it? She said.

"It's the Bugatti Veyron Super Sport. The fastest road legal production car in the world."

"Alright then. But do you know how to drive a car? Being pretty much nonexistent for the past sixty years I don't have any driving skills."

"Oh I can drive it. And you can keep the tyres in perfect condition and the fuel tank full, right?"

"Sure I can."

"Are you sure you know which way your going?" She yelled.

"Yes! The sea is in this direction so that's where we're headed!" I yelled back. 

"Do we have to be going 431?"

"Yes it's fastest! By the way what's your name? I really want to know!"

A rock shredded one of the tyres and and she put it back to its form five minutes ago.

"My name is Kübra!"

"There's the sea!"

"You need to slow down so we can stop!"

"Says who?"

"Physics!"

"Screw physics!" I yelled. Kübra braced herself and the car sped out onto the water. And kept driving. And kept speeding across the water. And ploughed through a mound of snow resting on the water's surface. 

"See? No problem." Jeff said.

Kübra uncovered her head and looked around.

"Now we just need to make a stop at one of Indonesia's airbases and steal a fighter jet." Jeff continued. 

Kübra visually started to relax and panic at the same time as she realised that Jeff knew more about her powers than she did.

But she generally relaxed more than she panicked so she began to calm down and enjoy the ride. She chuckled and so did I. She gave me a weird look an I said:

"What else would we be laughing at, we're driving across the sea to Indonesia."

She smiles and closes her eyes to take a nap. She's beautiful when she's sleeping. Her face becomes almost like a kitten and her fluffy fur makes it look like she's wearing a scarf.

I sigh and turn my eyes back to the sea. I'll have to ask her out sometime. That is, If she sticks around once the world is safe. I wonder how long it will take to drive to Indonesia.

As we hit land with a thud Kübra sits bolt upright.

"Are we going to steal a plane now?" Kübra asked.

"Well... Not exactly steal.We'll give them the Bugatti." I reply.

We drive the Bugatti onto the runway and there's already a two seater fighter jet getting ready to take off. We park the Bugatti and grab one of those wheel ladder things and put it next to the plane. I open the cockpit and Kübra and I grab the two human pilots and belt them up in the Bugatti. Kübra and I put on some flight gear and hop in the plane. Kübra was flying because I had no idea how and she was a professional. We taxi down the runway and take off. Kübra then plots a course for Geneva, Switzerland and the LHC. 

"So how's it feel putting the whole world into a deep freeze?" Kübra said.

"Just like my high school years: painful, impossible, confusing and romantic." I replied.

"Romantic?" She asked surprised.

"I'm in love with you." I said simply. There was no other way to put it.

"Don't you usually try to conceal the fact that you're in love with someone?"

"Not if you're me."

"True, true."

"Oh and by the way our evil selves have just stolen a jet as well." 

"WHAAT? You didn't think to tell me this before? Never mind. Now we have to fight off our evil selves."

"Hey look, I have a rotate able machine gun. They don't."

And then our evil selves fired a missile. And I fired a single bullet and shot off one of the tail fins making the missile fly off to our right looking demented.

"I just thought of some names for our evil selves: Cobra and Jack." Kübra said.

And then Cobra and Jack fired two more missiles at us.

Kübra waited until the last moment before putting us in a steep nose dive. The missiles followed and about ten feet above the water Kübra flipped us upside down so we were flying towards our evil selves. When we got to just behind them 10,000 feet below them Kübra pulled up. When we got to 5,000 feet I launched a missile at them and started deploying flares and shooting behind us at the missiles. Kübra then levelled out and we blew up the missiles. Our evil selves had detonated theirs and I opened the cockpit and pulled out my .50 caliber rifle. I aimed carefully at the last missile on their wing. I fired and detonated their missile while it was still on their wing. It blew their wing apart and they started a downwards spiral. They ejected and I closed the cockpit again.

"Go supersonic," I said "We have a short amount of time to put as much distance between us and them as we can."

"Yessir!" Kübra said sarcastically.

I grin and listen to the sound of a sonic boom.

We arrive in Geneva and find the LHC. We walk in and I take Kübra to the section that I was locked in. She walks in and takes a look at the black hole and broken pipe frozen and unmoving. Kind of like her when she's determined. "Well, I can reset this to five hours ago before the black hole and before one of the devices overheated and froze time." She said.

"Do it." I said.

"Do me a favour though, quit and get a job elsewhere. And  you will see me again for coffee in France. You choose the place and buy two coffees and I'll be there."

"You can count on it."

She builds up a large ball of energy in her paw, and fires it into the black hole.