Insensitive
#26 of Fae's Christmas Music-Themed Special!
Heya, furballs! Welcome to Fae's Christmas Music-Themed Special 2012! The format is the same as the previous years! Five stories to tantalize your Christmas period. From the 21st to the 24th, you'll get a series of short stories all focused around a particular song's title or lyrics. And finally, today (if a little later than usual due to my timezone and my own Christmas plans!) on the 25th, you're being treated to a longer story.
Here's the first chapter of the new ongoing story arc of the Music-Themed Special, Insensitive! Interested in a recap of the protagonist from his introduction last year? You can find the initial tale of Lucas, set six months prior to this, right here!
Don't forget to keep an eye on my Twitter (@FaoraMeridian) if you want to know what's going up ahead of time, or if you want to be alerted to other stories or otherwise just hear me ramble on about random things!
But for now, I hope you enjoy Insensitive, the finale of the 2012 stories! Don't fret, though; you'll see Fae's Christmas Music-Themed Special return in 2013 barring all unforeseen consequences! Merry Christmas to all, be of good cheer, and all the best to everyone for the year to come!
- Ol' Saint Fae
(Author's Note: This story was originally intended to be longer, but it wrapped up faster than I'd planned. Don't blame me! The characters worked themselves out more efficiently than I wanted!)
Insensitive
"Aww, sweety... you're far too tense. You got any idea how many knots you've got back here?"
The wolf on the receiving end of the fox's firm but gentle touch groaned quietly in the dim bedroom light. He leaned back, shoulders rolling in a shrug under the vulpine's touch. "That's what I come see you for, Robbie," he replied, his voice barely more than a whisper. "You know what you're doing with a knot."
In his line of work, it was hard for the fox to coax a blush to his cheeks under the compliment. If he didn't work in a classy whorehouse and if the wolf had actually called him by his real name, maybe Lucas would have been able to conjure a little red to his ears.
At least the client was faced away from him; he didn't need to put on the act nearly so hard. "It's an easy thing to work on with someone like you," he said, affecting a soft, sweet little voice as he hugged the lupine client from behind. "It's almost a public service, working out some of your tension."
The compliment went over much better for the wolf. He turned slowly in Lucas' arms and chuckled quietly to himself, as he rubbed down over the fox's hips. A gentle tug brought Lucas' body against his own, bare fur pressed together as the fox was settled into his lap. "Why don't you show me what else you can work out?"
While he smiled, every aspect of the expression on Lucas' face was forced and plastic. He wriggled down against the wolf's lap as he felt his client's sheath start to thicken and firm under his touch. It was an obvious dismissal. Despite how nice it might have been for him, the wolf didn't want a massage. He wanted to get his dick in a fox. Gone were the days when Lucas felt like he could be more than just a whore.
The two previous times Lucas had been with the wolf, he'd not gotten a name. The third time was no different. He'd learned that the lupine client did like to get down to business abruptly, and didn't always like to wait for lube. The way his cock quickly pushed out of his sheath and prodded against Lucas' teasing rump didn't help his case in the slightest. At least this time, the fox had taken the liberty to lube himself rather than wait for an opportunity that his client wouldn't give.
Even before the wolf was fully hard, he was straining to get his tip up and into Lucas. The fox had to hold back a sigh, face to face with the client as he was. The way that tapered tip ground against his entrance did stir a little arousal in his own sheath, but it was going to be a little longer before he found himself as hard as he needed to be. His mind turned inwards as his body moved on automatic pilot, teasing that lupine shaft harder and longer as he tried to will himself just as hard.
It came slowly, but not before he felt his client buck up and sink into him. The suddenness of the penetration drew a gasp that was not even remotely an act, and Lucas shuddered as he lifted slightly under the force of the thrust. "Aahh... eager tonight, are you, hon?" he asked, affecting a shuddering, breathy tone as he pushed down slightly and squeezed tight. The wolf liked to think his dick was bigger than it was; Lucas knew it was best to make him think he was really stretching him out.
He forced himself down even as he clenched tighter still, only practice and lube helping him not feel pain at the insistent intruder in his backside. His legs spread out a little wider, and Lucas groaned quietly at the feel of the wolf's paws pulling his hips downward. No wonder you need to hire a good whore, he thought to himself as he struggled to keep his own malehood growing, you wouldn't know how to fuck a guy if you picked one up anyway!
Lucas couldn't and didn't wait for a second to allow his body to adjust to the wolf's shaft buried inside him. Before it even hilted he shifted himself back up again, letting slip a couple inches from his rump with feigned regret. It turned to feigned pleasure when he sank back down a little deeper, allowing himself to relax slightly under his own motion. "Still... as big as I... hhrrrrf... remember," he moaned, as his back arched slowly.
The wolf was obviously lost in the show of his own masculinity. He grinned up at Lucas, completely ignorant of the semi-soft fox cock that rested on his belly. Instead he ground up harder and faster against Lucas' backside, working himself into those tightly squeezing muscles with his usual increasing vigour. "Gonna get a lot bigger, Robbie," he insisted, grunting as he finally managed to hilt himself in the heat of Lucas' body. "Gotta work out those knots, don't we?"
A silly little grin spread across Lucas' face, but he managed to keep himself from laughing. Even as he wondered what cheesy porno the wolf had gotten that line from and regretted the massage comment earlier, Lucas rolled his hips slowly around atop that embedded wolfhood. He allowed another moan to slip out as he leaned down and over the wolf, giving him a great view of Lucas' acting ability. He genuinely, properly looked like he enjoyed the cock slamming up into him.
It didn't need to be a long act, Lucas knew. A couple minutes more, and the wolf's pace would be unsustainable. He'd swell his knot, he'd blow his load, and then he'd sit there awkward and uninterested in conversation until he deflated. And if the second time they'd been together was any indication, he wouldn't be amenable to the idea of not tying him. It was going to be one of those shifts.
The huff of the wolf's breath rushed over Lucas' neck, and he fought to keep his mind locked on better partners he'd had. The cheetah who'd taken him seven times in their one hour session, for example, had been an absolute beast. Rough and unyielding in the slightest, at least he'd known how to fuck a hole and draw it out for himself. Every load had been lube for the next pounding, usually only a moment later.
Or the elephant who'd come in once, complaining that no one could handle his size. Lucas had taken him fully - poor thing had overstated his case - and been left with that unique, pleasant soreness that comes along with a good cock stretching you to your limits. It had been so good that every client after the elephant for a couple days had earned sympathetic orgasms from Lucas, just from how tender he was.
It was nothing like the way he was being taken by the wolf. If not for the memories spurring him on and helping the canine shaft pumping up into him, Lucas might have gone completely soft from his utter lack of interest. "That's it, sweety; pound that hole!" he grunted out. One of the wolf's favourite phrases. 'Pound that hole!' was something he'd said almost incessantly the first time they'd been together. Lucas had found the second time that his saying it was the key to keeping it from ever coming out of the wolf's muzzle.
And the wolf was entirely too focused on his work to even bother speaking in that moment. The scent of his lust hung heavy in the air and clung to the pair of them. A little dribble of vulpine pre splattered across the wolf's chest as he, by pure chance, ground a thrust right up along Lucas' prostate. The motion wasn't repeated however, and a moment's hope sank back into the shadows of the fox's mind.
The wolf's knot began to swell, right on cue. It stretched Lucas' clenched tailring a little more every time the wolf's hips brought it up against him. Lucas brought one shaking paw down to it as it swelled larger and larger, intent this time to keep himself from being tied. "Mmm... getting' so big, hon," he moaned.
Enthusiastic humping was all the response he received for a moment, and his fingers closed around the top of that knot and kept it from driving up into his backside. The wolf began to buck up harder, as if he could drive the knot and Lucas' fingers all up into the fox at the same time. "Mmmhmm," he groaned, "gonna tie you... gonna work that knot all up..."
If he wanted to tie, there wasn't anything Lucas could do. The establishment had strict rules about turning down a client's desires when there was no harm in indulging them. The bosses knew Lucas could take that knot, so the wolf going to them angrily telling them that he didn't wouldn't bode well for the fox. He needed the wolf to want something else more.
"Mmm, not t-tonight, sweety," he moaned back, bucking down harder against the wolf's thrusts. He took over control as his client stared confused up at him for a moment, but the fox just gave him a sultry grin. "I wanna feel that big load on me, hon... I wanna feel you shoot all over that loose hole you've given me... please?"
It worked, and it worked all too much better than Lucas had hoped for. In a single motion that surprised him, the wolf rolled to the side and knocked the poor fox over the bed with him. His shaft slipped out of Lucas' clenching insides with a groan from the fox. It slammed back into his rump a couple of moments later, pumping with much less control as the wolf behind him panted heavily. "Naughty foxie," he growled through clenched teeth. "Wanna feel that big load paint you? Hhrrr... then here... it... comes!"
His words slipped into incoherent growls and grunts as he pulled out. Swollen knot found itself accosted by two vulpine paws, squeezing and rubbing over it as the wolf's shaft pulsed hard. Voluminous spurts of his hot seed splattered against Lucas' exposed tailhole, one of the wolf's paws spreading the fox's cheeks wide for the painting while the other pumped hard along his slick shaft, milking every drop out against that offered tailring.
Lucas helped ease out as much of that wolf spunk as he could before his hands dropped down underneath himself. He caught a couple good spurts in his paws as the wolf's eyes squeezed shut in his own pleasure, and the fox quickly rubbed some of it through his belly fur, across the tip of his cock and down into the sheets. He squirmed and moaned out in acted pleasure of his own, and forced himself to pant hard as he 'finished' just before the wolf did.
When the wolf opened his eyes, all he saw was a cumstained fox hole, and a load of spunk under the fox's shaft. He grinned wide, obviously pleased with himself as he slipped back from Lucas with a satisfied murr. "Well... damn, look at that. Little whore really did want a painting. Maybe I should work here, too; probably fuck well enough to."
Lucas hung his head low in an attempt to hide the indignant roll of his eyes. His sigh at least was covered by his panting. Professional. Had to be professional. "I... mrrr... I dunno if we're hiring," he said, "but you could... ahh... you could always ask on the way out."
"Think I'll do that right now, Robbie," the wolf said. By the time Lucas managed to turn himself around, he found the wolf already pulling his pants up and tugging on a shirt. "Thanks, babe. You were fantastic as ever. I know I'll be asking for you again." He winked as he buttoned up his jeans over his fading erection. "See you soon, honey. Keep that hole tight for me."
"It's all yours, sweety," Lucas replied with mock sincerity. He wondered if he should point out that the wolf's still-leaking shaft had left him with a damp spot showing through his jeans, but decided that it was at least some payback for a terrible lay. "I'll be looking forward to seeing you again."
The wolf left without another word, though he beamed bright as a star as he exited the room. Lucas gave him a five count before he slumped back against the bed with a heavy sigh. There he lay for a couple of moments before he heard the little intercom in the adjoining bathroom beep for his attention. Someone must have spotted the wolf leaving and called it in. No rest for the wicked.
Again it beeped, and Lucas finally sat himself up and trudged over to the bathroom. He hit the button on the intercom as it beeped a third time. "Suite nine."
"Looks like you did a real number on your client, Luke," came a nasal male voice from the other end of the line. "Well done. Glowing reviews."
When I thought my night couldn't get much worse... "Thank you, mister Halleran. I did my best. If you'd excuse me though, I'd like to have a shower before I wrap up for the evening. I'm pretty tired."
But the voice wasn't going to have any of that. It took on a more firm, authoritative tone. "Actually, Luke, I was hoping you'd come up to my office right now, please. We need to discuss something before you finish up."
Lucas reached forward to cover up the receiver on the intercom as he growled and sighed. "Sir, with all respect, I've got an ass covered in wolf cum. I need a few minutes to shower so I can at least make myself presentable."
"Nonsense!" replied the voice. "I've seen you after three guys have used you for two hours. You looked like you were hit with a firehose full of cum that time, so no excuses. My office, Lucas. Now." The intercom clicked and went dead.
A whole new level of frustration rose up and through Lucas as he stared at the intercom. For a moment he considered disobeying and having a shower anyway. James Carter, the horse that ran both this establishment and the one he'd transferred from, had spoken highly of Karl Halleran. He'd said that the bull was one of the best, and easily capable of running their operation as well as he could.
But as Lucas sighed and trudged out of the bathroom and then the suite - naked and occasionally dripping from his soaked hindquarters - he knew the truth. Halleran was a glorified accountant. He didn't understand the needs of the people he worked with. He didn't understand the nature of the business. He was just looking for a couple of quick bucks. Again, Lucas found himself wishing for Carter to be there rather than Halleran.
The trip up to the boss' office wasn't as long as Lucas wished it was. The cooling seed splattered all over his rump was still dripping occasionally with his steps, and it only barely started to harden by the time Lucas reached Halleran's door. The fox took a deep breath and pushed open the doors.
There was no need to knock; Lucas knew he was expected. The office wasn't nearly as sparse as Carter's had been in. The walls were almost completely covered by various paintings, a handful of sculptures occupied the room's corners and potted plants dotted about added some foliage to the clutter. It was easy to forget it was an office if one missed the opulent rosewood desk in the middle of the room, or the bull behind it in a business suit. "Ah, there he is. The star attraction."
Lucas gulped as he made his way over to the tall bull. Halleran was seated at the moment, but that could change depending on how his mood shifted. The smaller fox clasped his paws together over his sheath and made a valiant effort to make eye contact. He found himself only able to reach the bull's chin. "Forgive me, but I don't think I should take a seat right now."
"No, of course not. Standing is fine." His eyes remained fixed on the laptop screen in front of him. "Everything went okay? He left happy, but earlier than he'd paid for."
The fox nodded slowly. "I found something that worked for him, and he was more eager than usual. All added up to a really short session, sir." He frowned at the laptop. "Is something wrong?"
With pursed lips, the bull leaned back in his chair and turned his attention to Lucas. "You're good. Damn good at what you do. You're the most requested, and we can book out the place on a day just for you. Don't think for a second I don't realize that."
Any time a meeting with the boss started off that way, Lucas knew something was wrong. "I understand, sir," he forced out as he tried to keep dread from taking control. "What's up?"
"We're not making the kind of money that we really should be, Lucas. Not even remotely." He stood up from the desk and began to pace slowly back and forth behind it. "You know we've made some staff cuts recently. I didn't want to, but I had to. You're not on the chopping block, by the way." He smiled thinly at the fox. "I'd give myself the axe before firing you, so you can relax."
Despite those words, 'relax' was one thing Lucas found himself unable to do. "However...?"
Halleran sighed a bit deeper as he shook his head. "Look, I know Jimmy likes you. I like you too, Luke. But when Carter said he could give you free room and board and utilities and food here... well, he wasn't making good business sense. It's gotta stop, Lucas."
Indignant anger threatened to rise, but years of forcing it down kept it from being anything more than a blip on Lucas' emotional radar. "I'm not sure if mister Carter explained my situation to you, sir-"
"He told me the whole story. I don't care." The bull dropped heavily back down in his chair again as Lucas finally managed to make eye contact with him. "End of the week, you need to either start paying for your stay here or you need to find somewhere else to live. This is a place of business, not a bed and breakfast." Halleran slid a sheet of paper across the desk to Lucas.
As he picked up the sheet, Lucas fought the desire to point out that a bed and breakfast was in fact a business in itself. Instead he scanned the sheet and found a list of expenses associated with his living on-site. The numbers were exaggerated, and when they all added up... "This is almost my rate of pay, sir," Lucas ground out.
"I realize that, Lucas. You don't live cheap." He shrugged again and leaned back in his chair. "You're a good boy, and I hate to lose you being on-site and on-call whenever I might need you, but you just cost too much to keep around and pay. And since I'm legally bound by one of Jimmy's contracts to not pay you a cent less than what you're getting currently..."
"I don't have anywhere to go," Lucas said, as he handed the piece of paper back. "So... if that's how this has to be, then fine. Those terms are... they're fine."
Halleran nodded softly and smiled, then handed Lucas another sheet. "I'm glad to hear that worked out. However, there is also this matter, if you don't mind."
Lucas' brow furrowed as he stared at the bull in silence. He looked down only after the stare had made them both thoroughly uncomfortable, and immediately his eyes widened. "Back expenses? You're charging me for the time I've already spent here?"
With a scowl of his own, the bull nodded once. "Yes, I am. Carter was an idiot to give you free reign of the place, Lucas. I know, he tried to help you-"
"He saved me from an abusive relationship!" Lucas shouted, before he stepped back and clamped his muzzle shut. The force of the outburst surprised even him.
But the bull wasn't fazed. "And that was a wonderful thing he did. Truly inspiring generosity." He waved a hand at the laptop. "But the figures don't add up. I wish we were pulling in the clients he is, but this business isn't exactly booming here. It's this, or I start firing more employees. I don't think either of us want that."
After a moment of teeth-grinding, Lucas managed to speak. "And how long, with me staying here, do I need to remain in your employ with effectively zero pay each week to clear this debt you've invented?"
To his credit, Halleran didn't even bother to deny the 'invented' part of Lucas' concern. Instead he just shrugged. "Approximately seven years, give or take. But as you said, you have nowhere else to go."
It was planned. It had to have been planned. Anger and despair seethed under the surface, and Lucas found his hands had curled into fists when he wasn't looking. "Sir, I have other debts to concern myself with too. If you do this-"
"It's already done and sorted, Lucas," the bull interrupted, as his eyes dropped to his laptop. "I sympathize, but I can't cut you any more slack than I already have. We all have to make our way in life, and you've been riding it easy out here for the last six months. It couldn't last, and frankly I should be thanked for allowing it this long." His eyes drifted up to the fox and he nodded once. "Go get some sleep. Take tomorrow off. Let me know what you want to do."
Lucas teeth continued to grind back and forth as he gave a sharp nod of his own. He already knew exactly what he wanted to do, but those enraged urges faded before they really got any traction. "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." With that, he turned stiffly and marched right out the door. The way he slammed it hadn't been intentional, and he even jumped at the loud sound before he sighed and leaned against the wall.
Easy ride? None of Lucas' rides had been easy. The little fox continued to seethe as he brought his hands up to rub over his face. They stank of wolf, and too late he realized that his still-wet backside was pressed right up against the wall. He almost opened his mouth to say something before he thought better of it. Nevermind. Let the bull deal with some of the trade for a while, rather than sitting there in that jungle of an office.
Lucas padded slowly back to his room. He passed no one in the halls; his room rested well out of the way of normal traffic. It was to give him privacy, a way to get away from the place he worked even if he had to stay in the same building. Carter had had it designed especially for him. Part of his way to bribe the fox away from his boyfriend.
But ever since he'd come to Bridgeport, things had just gone from bad to worse. Lucas remembered how the building had to be fumigated the day it was set to be opened. He remembered the lawsuit that had come from some horse breaking a bed and hitting himself in the head with part of the headboard. The sackings had been the worst. Lucas had grown close to every one of the members of staff. They were all he had. One by one, all the people that had liked and known Lucas had been picked off in Halleran's purges. Now it was a clean staff roster, filled with new faces Lucas didn't want to know. He was the only boy from Carter's establishment still around. Now, even he was threatened.
Running was always something Lucas had done well, though. As he stopped in front of his door, the thought did occur to him. If he had enough money, he could make it back to Carter. Maybe let the horse know what was going on out east in Bridgeport. Maybe Carter could fix things.
Or maybe he could hit up some of his old friends around town. It'd been years, but maybe some of them would be willing to help. The fox knew he'd burned a lot of bridges when he'd left, but perhaps one would remember him in a positive light. And if not, there was always his last card to play. Lucas just sighed and hoped he wouldn't have to play it.
But first things first. Priorities were important, and finding a roof to put over his head would have to wait. First he needed that damn shower. All that wolf cum was going to dry if he didn't. First, he could fix his backside. Then he could see about fixing his life.
As he made his way up the stairs a few days later, Lucas breathed a quiet sigh. It wasn't like he wasn't used to having nothing, after all. Lacking a car was no big deal; walking kept him nice and fit. Lacking a meal or two wasn't all that bad, either. With his appetite, it helped keep that slender, slinky look he knew so many guys liked. Lacking a home and a roof over his head though was one thing that Lucas never really got used to, but he'd just had to tell Halleran to go shove it.
Sure, the fox had only had to go without that once or twice in his past. But in each situation he'd been picked up after a single night by a friend, or a member of his family. It was going on day three - night three, rather - and still there didn't seem to be a change in sight. The little vulpine was growing desperate.
Desperate enough to find himself preparing to ask a favour he'd never wanted to ask. Desperate enough to trek across town with the suitcase that held everything he had. Desperate enough to find himself in front of a door he'd not seen for the better part of seven years. He took a gulp, steadied himself, prepared the words in his head one final time, and knocked.
"Uh... coming!" came a tentative call from inside the apartment. Lucas' breaths came quicker and quicker as sudden nerves threatened to overwhelm him at the sound of that familiar voice. Ears tipped back and eyes darted to the stairwell near his back. It would be oh-so much easier to just run. Maybe he could find a back alley with someone's air conditioner venting heat out into it. Maybe he could find another way.
All those fears almost came to a head as he heard the door begin to unlatch. A couple clicked locks later and the door swung slightly open. A slightly bleary-eyed otter peeked out from around it as a webbed paw ran through thick black hair. "Can I help... you?"
And there it was. The widened eyes. The stiffened jaw. Tiredness replaced with sparks of anger and surprise and indignation. Lucas took it all in as his heart sank. Instantly, he knew that he'd made a terrible mistake. "Hello, Taylor."
The otter's jaw worked back and forth slowly as he drew himself upright. His eyes drifted up and down the fox slowly - lingering a moment on his bulging suitcase - before they settled on his face again. "If this were a movie and I was a girl, I'd be opening the door to slap you stupid," he said, his voice low and dark. "Seeing as how we're both guys, I think I'm meant to punch you in the face instead."
Again Lucas gulped, but he stood firm. "I don't blame you, but... can you hear me out first? Please? If you still want to hit me afterward and toss me out, I understand."
"What are you doing here?" Taylor demanded. Again he glanced to the fox's suitcase.
Lucas shrugged again as he looked down. "Can I come in, please? I-"
"No you cannot," interrupted the otter as he folded his arms. "What makes you think in a million damn years I wanted to see you again? That I'd be inclined to do anything at all for you again?"
The fox's jaw set as he tried to hold the otter's glare. The anger that burned so hatefully in it was almost enough to shoo Lucas away regardless, but the vulpine wouldn't let himself give in. "Because you're not the one who left," he answered. His voice was little more than a whisper. "Because you're the better person of both of us."
Again the otter's jaw worked side to side. "Bull_shit_. This hasn't got anything to do with who's the better person. Didn't then and doesn't now. If that's why you're here, then piss off and let me go back to bed." He pulled away from the door as it began to swing closed.
Lucas quickly stepped forward and jammed his booted footpaw into the doorway. There was a little spark of pain through the worn shoes as the door slammed against it, but he made no further move inward as the otter spun angrily back into view. "Taylor, please... I don't have anywhere else to go."
"Then I guess you've got nowhere to go, Lucas." There was a note of finality in the otter's voice, a certainty that matched the hardness of his glare. "Get your paw out of my doorway before I crush it."
"I left Damien." The words just rolled out of him. They hadn't been planned or expected, but faced with a slammed door and a potentially broken paw, apparently the fox's subconscious was going for broke.
And it worked, for a moment. Taylor's face softened for all of two seconds before it turned stony again. "Congratulations. Who'd you leave him for? Or did you just get bored of him, too?"
The words stung as they pierced Lucas right to his core. His muzzle opened to reply, but hesitated. There was nothing he could say that would convince Taylor to help him. "I had to leave," he finally said. Lucas set down his suitcase and tugged back the collar of his shirt. He twisted his head to the side to expose his neck, and a paw lifted to brush back his fur.
It revealed the long, dark scar that marred the flesh beneath. It took Taylor a moment to see it, but the otter recoiled almost as soon as he finally saw. "Jesus... what the fuck did that?"
A moment's thought brought the painful memory back into focus. "It was a punishment for not being a good enough cocksucker one night," he replied. "Damien liked to punish me. Turned me into a slave, made me take a job as a whore... he beat me. Bad." Fingers released his fur, and the scar on Lucas' neck was once again hidden from view. "That was a thrown lamp. Shattered against my neck when I tried to duck."
Again, the otter's expression started to soften slightly. That time it didn't revert again. "I... I'm sorry to hear it. No one deserves that."
"Thank you." Lucas took a long breath and looked up at Taylor again. Their eyes met, and it was the otter who glanced away. "Taylor... I shouldn't be here. I know that. But I don't have anywhere else to go. I'll explain everything to you, I promise. I'm not here to ruin your life, or hurt you again... you're the only person who can help me right now, though. The only person who might."
Silence rang out louder than words. The otter's expression was unreadable as he considered what the fox had told him, but Lucas knew it wasn't about to be enough. "Tay... if you can't help me, I understand. But that means I have to go back out to... well, him."
Taylor blinked and cocked his head. "What about your old friends here? Your family?"
Again there was a little stab of pain in Lucas' heart, and he felt himself visibly sag. "The parents died two years ago in a car accident. I found out when I tried to find them; Damien didn't even tell me. Brother's off in a research outpost in some jungle somewhere. My old friends are all scattered and I can't find any of them. The only ones I could find are the people who were our friends, and they... well..."
"They didn't like what you did to me, either." Taylor sighed quietly as he glanced again at the suitcase. "Fine. You can come in." His eyes flashed in the light as they narrowed. "You aren't staying yet, fox. I'm letting you make your case. And while I'm sorry about what happened to you, it happened because you left with him. It's not my fault."
Lucas just shook his head quickly as the door swung open. "I didn't think it was your fault, Taylor," he answered as he carried his suitcase into the apartment's living room. The modest little place was a lot more sparsely filled than it had been when Lucas had last seen it. "Where's all your stuff?"
Taylor just shrugged as he closed and locked the door again. "I got rid of a lot of it after you left. Took a while, but... too many memories." He stepped past the fox and slumped down on the couch with folded arms. "And those memories just walked back into my home. Joy of joys."
"Are they all bad memories?" Lucas asked as he set the suitcase down at the other end of the couch. He sat up on the arm of the old thing like he had over seven years earlier, one leg dangling off.
The otter shook his head as he leaned back. "If they were all bad memories, I'd just hate you and be done with it," he grumbled. "I loved you, you bastard. With everything in me, I loved you. Gave you everything I was and would be, and it just wasn't enough for you." Eyes lifted, and the anger was back again. "Three years."
The blank statement made Lucas recoil. He floundered for a response for a moment, before he settled on echoing, "Three years?"
"Three years after you left. That's how long it took me to open up to someone else. Three years to stop loving you, then to stop being hurt by you, then to be brave enough to put myself back out there again." The otter's eyes narrowed again. "Three years to get you out of my head as much as I could. My heart? That's another matter."
Lucas pulled his arms around himself tightly. It was becoming all too clear just how much resentment the otter still had for him, after what had happened. "How... I mean, how long was it until I was out of your heart?"
"Still working on that one," Taylor muttered. He glanced up at the fox's surprised face. "What? That shock you? That I haven't dated anyone seriously in the last seven years because every time I get close to someone, I see your face and start running?"
When Lucas didn't reply, Taylor swung his legs out from under him and stood up again. "I was young and stupid, yeah. I wasn't working with you the way I needed to. But fucking dammit, I was in love with you and I was willing to do anything to make it work. To make you happy, because that would have made me happy. And... what? You just got bored? You decided you wanted out?"
"It wasn't that easy, Taylor," Lucas said with a shake of his head. "We weren't working. We were having all sorts of issues. Communication, work, money... everything was piling up on us."
A webbed paw thrust out to jab a finger at Lucas' chest. "And I was doing the best I fucking could. I was giving you everything I had. And I got to watch you go from my best friend and the person I fell in love with to... to someone who left me because a little exploration found you other people who wanted you." The words came through clenched teeth as the otter began to glare. "And all of a sudden, little ol' me was more of a burden than a boon. You didn't need my love, because you had everyone else."
"That's not what happened, Tay," Lucas quietly protested. "I didn't-"
"Bullshit. I'm sure everything else built up, but the fact of the matter was I couldn't compete with everyone else who wanted you. You saw complete freedom to go after whatever else took your fancy and you fucking took it." The otter snorted as he leaned back in the couch. "You know, I spent those three years trying to figure out what I would say to you if I ever saw you again. Now... none of those words seem like enough to explain how bad you hurt me."
"It hurt me too, Taylor," the fox pointed out. He lifted his head as he caught Taylor's muzzle start to open. "No, not as much as you. You were... you were always more invested in us than I was. I shouldn't have left the way I did. I should have been honest with you. Maybe if I had been, we could have worked it out a bit better. Maybe not. But if not, we could have at least been friends."
Even as the words left his muzzle, Lucas knew the last bit had been a mistake. Taylor's eyes clouded over with anger again as his jaw worked from side to side. "Friends? Lucas, you promised when you left we would stay friends. I needed that, to help me cope. What did you do?"
"I went silent," he answered, as his ears flattened back atop his head. "You were hurting too much, Tay. You think I couldn't see it? You didn't need me to be there. You didn't need me to be your friend. You needed to get over me and move on with your life."
"And I spent seven years trying to do that!" Taylor countered with a growl. "Seven years because you never let me know, for even a second, what the real reason was. I had to piece things together all on my own, and I never managed to get any closure from the one person I could have." He pushed himself up off the couch and pointed at the door. "You left once before, Lucas. Go leave again. Run away."
A sigh slipped out of the fox as he closed his eyes. It was no use. He'd hurt the otter too bad. There was too much unresolved anger there. The force of it, still so strong after seven years almost surprised him. But as he turned and started toward the door, it made sense to him. Taylor was always passionate. So passionate he couldn't often see what was falling apart right in front of his face, but passionate nonetheless. Lucas knew their issues weren't all his fault, and he knew Taylor knew that, too.
But it wasn't going to be enough to convince the otter to help him, and now the fox knew that too. He hesitated at the door before he pulled it open and stepped through. "I shouldn't have come back, Tay," he said, without turning around again. "I shouldn't have put you in this position. Not now, not back then."
"No. You shouldn't have." He heard the otter's sniff behind him, and the barest glance showed tears in his eyes that hadn't been there before. Still, he stood tall and resolute as he nodded once. "Watch your tail. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out."
And that was it. There was nothing else left for Lucas there. His last hope for a roof over his head that wasn't using him was used up and for nothing. The fox gave a slow little nod and stepped out of the way of the door. Already he could feel the cold night air start to nip at him again. "Thank you for inviting me in, Taylor. I wish-"
Slam!
The door shook for a couple more moments before it finally stilled, such was the force of the otter's swing. Lucas stared at it for a moment, unable to draw his eyes away. When finally he sighed, it was with a turn as he headed back to the stairwell. Suitcase in paw, he started back down toward the lobby. Maybe down there he could think. Maybe he could push aside the hurt in his chest and the fear in his head and come up with a solution.
When Lucas' eyelids fluttered open again, he found himself still in the lobby of Taylor's apartment building. He frowned as he pulled himself upright on the bench he sat on and rubbed at his eyes. A glance out the doors showed it was still night outside. He couldn't have been asleep for more than a few hours. "Ugh..."
"I tried to hate you, you know."
The voice from his other side made Lucas jump almost clear out of his fur, and his head snapped to the side to see Taylor sitting there beside him. "Tay... what-"
"After you left, I wanted to go for a walk to clear my head," he answered. The otter's eyes stared straight forward, ignoring the fox beside him. "Found you down here, asleep. Really don't have anywhere to go, do you?"
Whether or not Taylor saw the shake of Lucas' head, he sat back against the wall. "I tried to hate you. For so fucking long, I wanted to hate you. It would have been so much easier if I could have found it in me to hate you." He sighed quietly. "I couldn't. Every time I tried, I was remembered that I loved you. For three years, I was still in love with you. Even after what happened."
"I wish you hadn't been," Lucas muttered as he leaned forward and hung over himself. "You shouldn't have had to go through that."
"No, I shouldn't have," Taylor growled, but then his voice softened again. "But that's got as much to do with me as it does you. Maybe more. I was a fucking kid, no matter how grown up I was. I can understand why you tried to ease me out of it."
Lucas kept his silence as Taylor finally turned to face him. "I still don't hate you. I'm not in love with you anymore, and not by a long shot. You've still got part of my heart, and I wish to hell you didn't. I've been trying for years to keep myself from being ruled by that part of my heart, and I'm only now starting to make progress. And then you come swanning in, asking to crash with me..."
Lucas stood up slowly and grabbed at his suitcase. "I was an idiot to ask."
A webbed paw shot out to grab at Lucas' wrist. It tugged him insistently back down toward the bench. "Let me finish. Please?" The softness of Taylor's words resonated, and Lucas heaved a sigh as he sat back down again. "Thank you.
"It was too much for me to process. I couldn't be rational, and I couldn't be fair. I couldn't even be nice. I behaved poorly, and I'm sorry." The otter looked away again. "I didn't want things to go like that, if I ever saw you again. But... I did. I wanted the satisfaction of kicking you out myself. Revenge, I guess."
Taylor's eyes closed as he leaned his head back against the wall. "But afterward? I don't want to be that kinda guy. I don't want that to be who and what I am. Snapping at you because of what happened... it felt good for a moment. Just a moment."
For all the time that had passed, Lucas hadn't seen Taylor really back down on anything before. Stubborn and dedicated to a fault, it was impossible to change his mind once it was set on something. And yet, here, something had been bent. "So, you... want me to stay?"
When the otter shook his head, Lucas' heart sank again. "Not even for a minute. But... you really don't have anywhere else to go, do you?" His lower lip curled for a moment and he turned to face the fox beside him. "You remember the spare room? It's a little thing, but it should do for you considering how little you've got. I'm not kicking anyone out onto the street. No friend of mine... and not even you."
Gratitude almost burst out as a surprise hug, but Lucas quickly reigned it in. The last thing he needed, after all, was to make Taylor more uncomfortable with him. "Thank you, so much," he babbled instead as Taylor rose from the bench. "I didn't think... I mean, I wouldn't have assumed that-"
"Standard rent rate applies," Taylor interrupted as he lifted both paws to silence the fox. He waited until Lucas nodded and quieted down to continue. "Just transfer it into my account on the first of every month and that's it. Bills evenly split. No wild parties. Keep your room clean, and we'll split the housework between us. We'll go food shopping tomorrow. You pay for your stuff and I'll pay for mine. Sound good?"
Still silent, Lucas nodded again. He watched the otter nod back and turn towards the stairs, and the fox instantly snatched up his suitcase and turned to follow. Relief washed over him in intense waves and warmed him from the inside out. He knew that he'd changed over seven years, and not necessarily for the better. It looked if nothing else like Taylor had mellowed out some. Matured. Not so much that the anger his still bore for what happened wasn't strong, but it seemed not to have as much a hold on him as he'd implied.
Or maybe the otter was just better at hiding how he really felt than Lucas gave him credit for. He'd seen the fullest extent of Taylor's emotional spectrum, from his highest happiness to his deepest depressions to the full force of his rage, even if the latter was something he'd never expected to see and was told he'd never have directed at him. Taylor was always the emotional half to Lucas' logical one.
If nothing else, Lucas had a roof over his head and food to eat. He didn't need to live under Halleran's oppressive thumb anymore. For the first time in the six months he'd spent back in Bridgeport, Lucas felt his life starting to finally look up.
A soft knock on the office door caused an equine head to rise. A quick glance to the clock in the corner of the desk blinked 10:34pm at him, and he lifted a hand to rub at his eyes. "Yes, come in?"
It was one of the relatively new hires, a fox boy barely out of his teens. He shuffled forward across the carpet with tail tucked under his legs and one arm held across his chest by the other. "M-mister Carter?"
The horse was around the desk in mere moments. "Jesus Christ, Sam! Are you alright? What happened?"
The fox gulped as he glanced in any direction but that of the equine inspecting his arm and naked body. "M-my... my client was... he was rougher than I thought. I th-think my arm's broken. I didn't know what to do, so I c-came here, and-"
"You did the right thing, coming here, Sammy," Carter reassured him. One arm slid around the fox's waist as he shrugged off his jacket and draped it over the vulpine's shoulders. He guided Sam to his office chair and sat him gently down on it as he leaned over his computer. "Now, let's see. Client registry... what name did he give tonight?"
But Sam just shook his head. "The name was... it was booked under Lucas. But when I m-met him, he used a different name again."
The name conjured to Carter's mind another fox, far far away. He frowned as a moment's wild speculation led him to an ill feeling in the pit of his stomach. "And what name did he use, Sam? What'd he want you to call him?"
Again Sam gulped, and he continued to fail to meet Carter's gaze as he shivered and hugged the equine's borrowed jacket tighter around himself. "Mostly 'master' and 'sir' but... when we first met, he told me his name. Said it wasn't Lucas, but I looked like him. He said his named was Damian." As Carter's expression darkened, Sam just shook his head. "Maybe Lucas was better with the rougher clients... some of the regulars keep mentioning him."
"He was worth his weight in gold," Carter muttered under his breath. "And the weight of every client he ever served. And while I thought this might happen, I thought it might have happened just after he left. Not half a damn year on."
Sam finally looked up, though his eyes couldn't meet Carter's. "S-so... what do we do now, sir?"
Rage continued to build on Carter's face for a moment. Then it drained away as he glanced back down at Sam, replaced only with sympathy and a forced little smile. "First, we're going to get you to a doctor and have your arm taken care of. Then we're going to give you a little paid time off, so you can recover properly. Six weeks is good for a broken bone, right?
He snorted again, as his smile faded into a deep, dark scowl. "And then I'm going to find the guy who did that to you, and he and I are gonna have a little chat about what he really wants."
Listen to Insensitive by Jann Arden with this Grooveshark link!
Insensitive lyrics
How do you cool your lips,
After a summer's kiss?
How do you rid the sweat,
After the body bliss?
How do you turn your eyes,
From the romantic glare?
How do you block the sound of a voice,
You'd know anywhere?
Oh, I really should've known,
By the time you drove me home,
By the vagueness in your eyes,
Your casual goodbyes,
By the chill in your embrace,
The expression on your face that told me,
Maybe you might have,
Some advice to give,
On how to be,
Insensitive.
Insensitive.
Insensitive.
How do you numb your skin,
After the warmest touch?
How do you slow your blood,
After the body rush?
How do you free your soul,
After you've found a friend?
How do you teach your heart it's a crime,
To fall in love again?
Oh, you probably won't remember me,
It's probably ancient history.
I'm one of the chosen few,
Who went ahead and fell for you.
I'm out of vogue, I'm out of touch,
I fell too fast, I feel too much.
I thought that you might have,
Some advice to give,
On how to be,
Insensitive.
Oh, I really should've known,
By the time you drove me home,
By the vagueness in your eyes,
Your casual goodbyes,
By the chill in your embrace,
The expression on your face that told me,
Maybe you might have,
Some advice to give,
On how to be,
Insensitive.
Insensitive.
Insensitive.