FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

I had a hard time sleeping that night. Trading an old spring mattress for a wooden floor in an empty storage shed, only covers I had is my jacket shielding my little body from the cold, my backpack as my pillow. Well, I had to tough it out, first time experience by myself... with no real home. I mean it was fine, I was warm and kind of comfortable, getting used to the smells around me and on my stained clothes. The fact is that I killed the only blood relatives I had, even though they deserved to die. I was saying that in my head, but I couldn't help feeling so guilty. Back then, I didn't think they needed to die to gruesomely. Back then, yes, now I just do not care.

My anger caused me to do such a horrible thing. I snapped and I acted differently, like opposite of what I wanted to do for them. I sobbed so much that night. Killing someone didn't leave me a good feeling in my broken heart. It just pained me more, so much I thought I was having my first heart attack at the age of twelve. As a mercenary and a trained killer today, also capable of beating the shit out of someone, you have to start somewhere to feel what taking a life is like.

Speaking of what taking a life is like, my experiences of murder haven't stopped there. My crying pretty much triggered a bystander's curiosity. I thought I was the only one staying here. Boy was I wrong? I wasn't quick enough to react, though. When that door opened up slowly, giving a creaking noise from its rusty hinges, I gasped loudly and looked up with my eyes widened and mouth slightly gaped. Pretty funny ass reaction to my first time to stranger danger, don't you think?

This guy was nice at first, like all these fucking bastards. He looked like he was living off the land for a pretty long time, and not a good job doing so. He was still living, I could give him that. I could barely check out this man in the dark. Making out that silhouette, he was tall apparently in an average build, wearing very old and ripped clothing. His fur was not groomed and cared for. I could scent a lot of alcohol and upchucks, with a good hint of piss and shit. He was not smelling too good...

That "wonderful" permeation was getting closer to me, asking what I was doing there. I didn't respond, standing up just to back up into a corner. I reached for the switch, pulling that old rope down to turn on the flickering light bulb above me. The shape of his head and color of his dirty furred body, he was a generic G-Shep, at least I think he was in that plaid red and black sweater and ripped overalls. Stupid looking lumberjack costume there... His eyes were also red and bloodshot with that crooked smile, showing those yellow teeth and how bad his breath was.

Seeing those pupils scanning my frame and indecently touching himself, you can tell from there he had an idea for me. Lonely man living alone, he needed some relief. Quite sad to look at a lost pup that way. But hey, you take what you can get. Wasn't going to be from me, though. I had better plans than be boned by a shit smelling hobo.

He moved closer to me, extending his hands out at me. I thought quickly, using my agility to my advantage. I ran and slid under him, purposely elbowing his crotch as a way to slow him down some. That painful howl and seeing him get on his knees, turning back at me to growl at me, he didn't like that, cursing up a storm at me and threatened me some if he captures me. He recovered quickly, standing up and went on a wild goose chase after me.

Was trying to lose him. I couldn't call for help, either. I was running all around the campground, hearing that hobo behind me until I decided to make my way into the woods, dodging trees and bushes in the dark. I was just sprinting in a random direction. I didn't take the time to study that my map, you know, because for crying too much. I had no idea where I was going, I just wanted that hobo to leave me alone.

I came to a screeching halt, for noticing myself about to run off the edge. The full moon's luminous light shining down on me, pretty much telling me, "Hey, dumbass... you're about to jump to your doom, so look the fuck out." Thanks, moon... Now the moon needed to give me a hand about the angry hobo panting heavily behind me. So, how can it help me?

Corner of my eye caught a glimpse of something glimmering next to me. My last attempt to defend myself, I thought, grasping that whatever I reached for in one hand. He was ready to strike me with clenched fists, versing the little guy and his weapon the moonlight pointed me to, the little boy that hit him in his shriveled manhood hidden in those fucked up overalls. We charged at each other, like some final fighting moment out of a movie. I shut my eyes and I swung that piece I had gripped in my palms. I knew it impacted the dog, but that dirty body of his lunged forward at me and landed on top of me.

Seconds went by. Nothing was happening. I didn't move, neither did he. I held my breath, because... you know, smelly guy on top of me? What, he wanted a hug or something after all? I thought that for a good while. Suddenly something warm dropped on my head, from one little droplet to a good amount of it to run off my face, forcing me to open my eyes. That same warm liquid stained my dominant hand which gripped the object I had. The male wasn't breathing, as well. Putting those pieces together, I had a good idea what just happened.

I struggled to push that piece of shit off me. The luminous light gave me enough brightness to let me spectate what I've done. That warm stuff was colored dark red. And dark red running down the canine's neck meant that... It was blood! I've shed someone's blood for the first time! That object used was a sharp piece of stone. I jammed that bitch deep in that guy, trust me, with all my strength.

My reaction was insane. I screamed and hyperventilated for a pretty good while, not even taking my eyes off that motionless body in front of me. Accidentally tasting my victim's blood, its metal-iron goods landing on my tongue, scared the hell out of me, focusing my sight briefly at the life juice running down my right hand. I got so sick in the stomach from it all. I couldn't take much more. The scents, the blood tasting, my feeling toward it all... I turned and ran to a nearby tree, and I threw up a good amount, hacking and coughing all I could to the fact I felt empty inside.

I was ready to kill myself. It was getting very overwhelming for me. I just took this time to calm down, gather my thoughts together and shit. Once again, I had to cover my tracks, and quickly. Clouds were forming above me, covering the moon, the only light I had. Using this opportunity, I buried the body a few feet in the ground. Would've dug deeper, but I don't think I needed to.

I patted the dirt down the best I could and just stared at the disturbed ground on my knees. You know I was guilty for murdering my parents, but this... this cut me real deep. Close proximity, in your face, murder of someone I don't even know. Feeling his blood on my body, tasting his blood, having his blood just stain and dry up on my clothes... My attire was kind of like symbolizing the deaths I've caused in one night, to a total of three.

It began to rain, just in time to make me feel even more like crap. I felt so weak, I couldn't even move. I faced the sky with the saddest face ever, just letting heavy droplets of water fall on me. "Can this get any worse," I mumbled to myself. But hey... things can get worse, I just do not expect the unexpected. Anyways, that night... became the worst moment of my miserable life... This event did not stop me. I had to move on. I had to move forward and survive it all...