Silverback Episode 9
#9 of Silverback
After someone pointed out that this was missing, here it is! Sorry for not posting this before 10, I goofed.
I didn't want to move. I wanted to stay there and cry. I wanted to hold onto the hope of Snow reappearing through the door, after considering what I had said to him, and taking me up in his arms and kissing me. Telling me it was okay and that he felt the same. But the door remained shut. No one emerged.
I wiped the tears from my eyes and dried the fur on my snout a little before I rose to my feet shakily. I cannot go I thought to myself, How can I hope to fight without any hope of what I have desired, ever coming true?
"Because I have given you my blessing and you are a soldier that will do his duty to the end. Do not let me and the other Gods down Interpreter Silverback, Paladin of the Gods," Wolf commanded in my head.
"You are right, if I don't report in I will be shot for being a coward," I conceded. With my head held low, tail between my legs, ears slumped down; I was as low as I had ever been as I left the gym. I ran home and grabbed my bag. I had to leave quickly because tears again began to form. I could not delay. If I missed my train, my emotions would not matter one bit. I ran to the train station and was met by other military personnel who were also being called off leave for the front. Many of us were young and we there was a great diversity of species between us all. My stop was the last one I found out by talking to them. There was only one other soldier who was part of the Royal Fang Guard and he was in 3rdPlatoon. Everyone else was in the other mixed battalions and such. As we waited on the platform we began to compare how our leaves went. I was convinced that mine was the worse until I heard the domestic feline's story.
He had originally taken his leave to attend his mother's funeral but when he arrived home, his mate informed him that she was getting a divorce and that she never wanted to see him again. My heart melted for him as he began to cry. The other guys gave their condolences and set themselves aside to smoke and talk about happier leaves. I on the other hand embraced the poor feline and offered him a shoulder to cry on. I whispered to him that my mate had also left me. Lying of course, but I wanted him to feel better. I really only made two criers instead of just one as I broke down again and cried into his shoulder as he was crying into mine.
Our train arrived early and I sat next to the other Fang Garde canine and across the aisle from the cat. We talked on the train ride and made a pact that if we both made it out of this war alive, that we would meet up a year after the war ended at the train station on the same day of the year and have a beer or two. My camp was the last stop. I had watched everyone leave the train with handshakes and wishes of good luck. The feline thanked me and wished me luck. When I got off, the camp was bustling with activity as the battalion got itself together I was told to hustle to my section and get prepared to move out within the hour.
I jogged to my section's barrack and the men were putting their kits together. Staff Sergeant Dilis told me to get my combat uniform on and help the rest of the men gather their gear. We were to meet out in front of our barrack in 15 minutes in formation. I prepared my kit and helped the others who needed it. At the end of the 15 minutes we were in formation and ready for a quick uniform inspection by the Staff Sergeant. He looked us over and miraculously, we were in top shape despite the rush. 1st Platoon was ready to fight with A Section standing at attention on the far right, B Section still milling around in the middle, and C Section on the far left also at attention. When the Lieutenant approached from the right, B Section finally pulled it together as attention was called for the whole platoon.
We left faced and marched perfectly as a platoon to the train yard. There we met up with the rest of our battalion where the Lieutenant-Colonel was on a grand podium in front of the train. We were organized by company and platoon. The view must have been glorious from the podium with a thousand canines at attention with their uniforms pressed, weapons slung over their shoulders, ears perked through the helmets, and tails down at attention.
The Lieutenant-Colonel then spoke, "Canines of the Royal Fang Garde. We are going on a journey. A journey that we have all chosen to go on. We will be heading to the front in a matter of moment. High command has given us the task of spearheading an assault through the southern front which will win this war in a matter of months. Now, as your commanding officer, I ask that every single one of you remember why we are here. We are here because those damn cats killed our ambassador and made a mockery of our great nation and our King. I know that the Garde will be the battalion to break the cats and bring shame to their nation and win honor and glory for our nation and ourselves!"
All of the huskies, wolves, and other domestic breeds of B Section howled in delight and the Shepherds and Malinois of A Section barked in delight and so did the Labradors, Dalmatians, and Collies of C Section. The whole battalion made a grand uproar of approval. When the cheers dulled down we were crammed into the train and we were on our way to the front.
I had never been very far from the city my whole life. I knew that we had beautiful countryside and forests, but I never realized how big it was. We traveled for what seemed like forever past miles and miles of open countryside with rolling hills and every now and again I could make out the outline of a distant mountain range or forest. When we finally arrived it was midnight. We didn't know where we were but our sections were assigned to buildings to use as shelter for the night.
Staff Sergeant Dilis and I shared a room together. I lay on my bed, unable to sleep as the anxiety of what tomorrow would bring swirled around my head. I finally gave up and decided to write some letters. I wrote to Felix and filled him in on the confusion and why I wasn't in town anymore. I told my step-mom where I was and not to worry, even though I figured she wouldn't anyways. I went to write my final letter and then I thought what if he doesn't want to talk to me? What if he doesn't care anymore? I sat there in the candlelight staring at a blank page as tears began to form again. I could feel one running down my snout as Staff Sergeant Dilis returned from checking on the men. I whipped the tear away quickly.
He obviously noticed as he sat down on his bed across from mine in our little room. "What is the matter Silverback?" he asked with his chin on his paws that were perched on his knees.
"It is nothing Staff Sergeant," I replied weakly and rather unconvincingly.
"There is no need to lie Silverback and you call me Dilis between you and me you know. Now what's got you down?" he insisted. He shifted and started to take off his boots to get comfortable
I let out a big sigh, kind of mad at myself for letting my emotions control me. "Well, my mate left me and when I was writing letters to be sent back home, I... I thought of hi- her" I confessed, feeling more tears begin to well up. I also secretly hoped he didn't hear me stutter.
"We are getting closer Silverback. Come on now, if you don't tell me you will give latrine duty for the duration of our deployment. Now I will ask again, what is the matter?" he asked again, but it was more of an order this time.
"Fine, can we shut the door first though?" I asked looking up at him, straight into his brown eyes. I could tell he was looking for lies and if this would amount to anything.
He got up and shut the door and sat back down. "Now tell me, what has got you down?" he asked, but this time when we at each other for a brief moment, I realized that he might actually be concerned with his ears attentive and his eyes locked on me.
"Staf- I mean Dilis, can I trust you to not tell anyone? I mean, this is pretty personal and it would-"
"Silverback, you trust me enough to lead you into battle and die by your side. If that is not enough to reassure you that what happens between us is a secret, I don't know what will" Dilis interrupted.
"Thanks" I managed a small smile and a slight perk of my ears. "During my leave, I saw everyone first but the one anthro I wanted to spend time with the most."
"Your girlfriend I presume" Dilis cut in for clarification.
"Well..." I said as my mind scrambled. Was I actually going to tell my superior this? I could be court marshaled or just plain kicked out of the military for being gay. I had no time to think, I had to talk and Dilis did bring up a good point and he genuinely looked like he cared. "Right before I left I made a final stop to speak with him" Dilis started to talk again but I kept going. "I was going to finally confess to him how I felt about him. When I finally found him, I told him right there that I loved him and he walked away without a word."
Dilis leaned back a little, clearly in thought. After a few moments he leaned back in and in a hushed tone he asked me, "Are you saying that you are gay?"
"Yes" was all I could whisper back.
He leaned back again and took in a breath and with a stern look on his face addressed me, "You do know I can have you discharged from the army right?"
"Yes" I said again.
"And you still said it."
"Are you going to report me?"
"What? Listen Silverback, you are a good soldier and I don't trust anyone more than you to lead these anthros in my place than you. What I am saying, is that I am surprised you trusted me that much," he said with a sincere look in his eyes.
"Like you said, I trust you to lead me into battle and die at your side," I replied using his previous statement.
He chuckled a little and there was a slight wag in his tail. I felt better to have someone laughing, even if it was just a little.
"Silverback, as far as I am concerned, you can hump whatever and whoever as long as you are cleaned up for the officers and ready to charge into battle when we are called upon," he said with a smile.
I perked my ears up to this and chuckled a little too. The tears were drying finally. It was a relief to have someone to talk to about this besides the Gods who often never responded, be it still a little awkward.
"So" he said as he continued to take the upper half of his uniform. "What's he like?"
"Well, I... uh" I stuttered, a bit dumbfounded by how easily he had taken the news.
"There is no need to look so confused. Here, would it make it easier if I told you a story about myself since you opened up?" he asked with his ears perked up a bit.
"Dilis, you don't have to if you don't want to" I said with my ears perking up a little too.
"No, no. It is only fair. But likewise, I am trusting you" he paused as I nodded. His tail wagged a bit and I could feel mine try to. "Good. I am not making this up either Silverback, I found it ironic that you were... let's say 'out of line'. Because I thought I was in the same boat when I was in high school, so much in fact that my best friend and I 'got together' if you will, one night" he said chuckling to himself and shaking his head slightly.
"Was it bad?" I asked.
"What? No it was great fun, but I learned that it wasn't for me, we both did. Heck I think that without that experience in my life, I might still be 'out of line'" he responded.
"I would have never guessed" I stated.
"Yeah well, don't go around tellin' everyone okay? I trust you. Heck I trust you more than any of the officers leading this battalion."
"Thanks. I guess it is my turn to answer your question then."
Dilis yawned and checked his pocket watch, "Shit Silverback, it is already 1:30. I think I will let you off tonight, but don't forget" he said tiredly as he laid back in his bed.
"I won't, and Dilis. Thanks you" I said sincerely.
"Yeah, yeah. That is what friends are for Silverback" he said closing his eyes. "Blow out the candle when you are done."
"Yes Sarg" I smiled. I blew out the candle and settled into bed. I was still not sure on what to say, but talking with Dilis did help. I most certainly didn't expect him to confess anything in the conversation, but that was his own choice. I was glad he trusted me. As I lay in my bed, thinking things over, sleep quickly took me.
The small alarm on the nightstand rang its little bell. I groaned and grabbed it, stopping the light ringing. It was about 5:00 in the morning and I was exhausted. I heard a groan come from the other bed as Dilis stirred. I yawned letting out a small whine in doing so. I swung my paws to the floor and started getting dressed. Dilis was yawning when I had finished getting my boots on.
"I am dog-tired Silverback" I heard him groan.
"Me too, but we need to rouse the Section," I said as I put on the rest of my uniform. "I will have them up and ready in 15 minutes," I continued grabbing my helmet. "You take some time there Dilis."
"Yeah thanks, get them up and eating. I want to be ready to move out in an hour at most" he ordered.
"Yes Sarg" I said leaving the room and shutting the door behind me.
I walked down the narrow, wooden hallway. I made a point of swinging my tail against the walls as I walked down the hallway, knocking on doors and yelling, "Get up you canines! 30 minutes to dress, eat and be in formation in the front of the building!" I immediately heard rustling sounds coming from the rooms as C Section roused and started their day.
After taking a muzzle count on the men, I went downstairs to the makeshift mess and found that Dilis had already settled in with a cup of coffee, breakfast, and todays orders. I got my breakfast and joined him at the table. We ate in the same mess with all of the other soldiers, but the NCOs were set apart slightly.
"Good morning, glad to see you got up! What news from command today?" I greeted him with a slight wag in my tail.
"Yes, thanks again for getting the troops up. I needed that extra time. Next time we talk, we are not going to do it at midnight," he paused and took a sip of his coffee and set down the papers. "The Lieutenant got these this morning and he had copies delivered to all three sections. We are to march four miles West and meet up with Nr. 1 Infantry Feldjäger. They are currently holding the far western flank at the town of Blinehoof. We are to reinforce them and await further orders" he finished.
What are two infantry battalions doing on the flank when I heard the enemy is pounding the front where our allies and our troops are closest together?" I asked a bit bewildered.
"I don't know, but I would rather be watching town than dying," he said as he shoved some food into his mouth.
"I guess you are right" I complied.
We finished our breakfasts with some small talk about the section. We only spent about ten minutes eating because we wanted to have the section ready to move when the order was given.
Dilis and I lined up the section at the rally point in the small town. C Section was formed up first followed shortly after by A Section forming up. We waited in the cool morning air. The sky was clear and the birds were singing. You would never have guessed that a war was just four miles down the road. The Lieutenant arrived and began his inspection of A Section. About half way through his inspection, B Section finally showed up in a shamble. It took them ten minutes to get formed up. A black Labrador private leaned over to me and whispered, "I think B Section is going to be the death of us Sarg." I snickered a little. After the inspections were through with, we shouldered our rifles and began the long march down the road to the front.
We marched on a road that cut through the dense forest that bridged the two towns. Word came up from the rear that we had several artillery brigades following us up to the front. Whatever high command had in mind, it was going to be big and I was going to be right in the middle of it.