How It Goes - Part 5
#5 of How It Goes
The more I wish to steer away from drama, the more the story insists on entangling itself into its dark confines.
Reading through this after about a month of writing it or so, I find that I still am happy with the outcome.
This chapter introduces a new character to the cast, whose relevancy will be revealed later. He was, incidentally, made as an "hommage" to my partner. Like the other characters, he sprung to life on his own shortly after conception.
I wish I could say the drama would dial down soon. Unfortunately, based on the next three chapters, it will only get worse. Which is a good thing if you sustain yourself on the bitter tears of heartbroken otters.
It will even out soon. Please bear with me.
Evening supper is underlined with silence as Scott and Mr. Oliver both quietly eat their chicken, accompanied by the quiet scraping of cutlery. Mr. Oliver takes a drink of his wine, before taking a deep breath.
"Me and Yvonne are getting a divorce."
Scott looks up. "That's why she's not been here lately, isn't it?"
"She's been at her brother's, yes. After I dropped you off, we had a big fight about..." Mr. Oliver sighs.
"About me." Scott looks at his food.
"I love her, Scott, but if she can't accept you for who you are, let alone love you, then she ... she has no place in our family, in our home. She's always had... difficulties with you, but I didn't think she would..." Mr. Oliver gathers his bearings. "I would never choose anyone over you, Scott."
Scott nods, blinking furiously.
"So you don't have to think you've got to move from home."
"Brian found a place," Scott says, stumbling. "For... for both of us."
"You could have told me," Mr. Oliver replies after a moment. He glances around the room. "Do you... want to move out?"
"A little. But ... things are ... really weird with Brian. And Tom."
"Oh? How come?" Mr. Oliver takes a sip of wine.
"They had sex on New Year's."
Mr. Oliver coughs and splutters wine all over the food and the table.
"They... what?" he hacks, clearing his throat and catching his breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't think they were gay."
"Brian has a girlfriend."
"I...see." Mr. Oliver wipes his chin. Scott bites his lower lip, looking up at his father.
"Does sex always ... complicate things?"
Looking thoughtful, Mr. Oliver leans back, taking a deep breath. "Sex is about... confidence," he says slowly. "When you have sex with someone, you expose yourself. You challenge their trust in you, and your trust in them. You show them who you are. For some that comes easy. They've confidence. For others, it doesn't."
"It isn't physical intimacy that causes complications. It's... that act of exposing yourself, confiding in an individual that this is the real you they're experiencing. And a lot of people don't want to show that to everyone. For some, that act is reserved, it's sacred. For others, it's not. I think that's the risk, if, to you, it matters. If you only want to share that with only one individual, and they don't... share that sentiment."
"What sex is... It can be fun. It can be romantic, it can be erotic, it can be terrifying. It can be confusing, and it can cause complications. Sex is a way of expressing yourself, whether it's to enjoy yourself with a booty call, or because you want an intimate moment with your partner. What's important is that you and your partner are on the same page, and understand what sex means to one another. Otherwise... yes, Scott, sex will almost always complicate things."
Scott nods weakly as he puts down his fork. "Thanks."
"You're welcome, Scott." Mr. Oliver puts down his own cutlery, just as his ringtone starts playing from his pocket.
"I need to take this call, could you clear the table?"
"Yeah, of course," Scott says, rising. Mr. Oliver takes the call, dons his professional self, and strides out of the dining room. Gazing across the dinner table, Scott starts stacking plates with a sigh.
The school hallway is loud with the buzzing of students moving from one class to another. Scott glances around past faces both familiar and strange, trying to find Tom, or Brian, or Theo. He enters the library, glancing between the shelves.
"Excuse me?"
Scott turns around, standing almost nose to nose with a bunny.
"You're Scott, right?"
"Yeah. Hi," he replies, taking a step back.
"Cecil. Cecil Lennox. We've got history and geography together." The bunny extends his paw.
"I know." Scott reciprocates the shake, glancing around.
"I was wondering if you wanted to study together for the next history test, and maybe, I dunno, go out after?"
"As in a date?"
"Yeah. If you'd like." Cecil grins, leaning on one leg, eyes playful.
"I'm sorta seeing someone," Scott says, looking away.
"Oh," Cecil's smile falters slightly. "Well, can still study together, and get a burger or something after?"
"If you'd like?"
"Very much so," Cecil grins, adjusting his collar. "There's tables at the back. Or do you prefer studying at home?"
"Tables are fine," Scott says. Cecil sets towards them, and Scott follows.
"So how come you're alone?" Cecil asks, putting his book away. Scott skims over his notes, not looking up, splaying his ears.
"My friends are busy," he says, uncertainly.
Cecil gets up, stretching his arms. "Doesn't really sound like they've told you why."
"They haven't," Scott says, sighing. "Been looking for them all week, and they're not responding to my texts."
"It sucks when friends ditch you, yeah," Cecil replies, not unkindly.
"Why'd you seek me out, anyway?" Scott starts packing his book and notes into his backpack.
"Well, you're awesome for one."
Scott looks up, his eyes puzzled. "I'm what?"
"Coming out the way you did. I ... I admire you for that," Cecil says, nervously scratching the back of his ear.
"Oh. That." Scott's voice is flat.
"Buzzed all over school, it did. It gave me the courage to... do the same."
Scott looks away, his cheeks warm and hands numb. Getting up, he hoists his backpack over his shoulder.
"And... well. You're cute," Cecil says, grinning. "I like a bit of tummy. Sucks for me that you're seeing someone, though."
"Thanks," Scott mutters. "When'd you...?"
"Monday. To my best friend."
"How'd that go?"
Cecil rolls his eyes and shakes his head. "Well, I don't really have any friends now, let's leave it at that."
"Sorry to hear that."
They leave the library, and walk towards the school exit. Cecil takes a deep breath, before he grins. "You into games?"
"Thanks for the burger," Scott murmurs between bites. Cecil grins and chugs down his soda, leaning back in his chair and yawning.
"No worries, don't think about it," he replies. "Hope I'm not terribly boring, I know I talk a lot."
"It's okay, I'm enjoying myself." Scott takes the final bite, and after swallowing, starts cleaning his fingers with a tissue. "So where do you live?"
"East part, Southumberland Street?"
"My aunt lives there. Ida Oliver?"
"She lives three houses down, yeah," Cecil grins. "She and my mum spend a lot of time together, volleyball or something. Do you do sports?"
"No," Scott shakes his head. "Not really my alley. I'm clumsy. And it... scares me. You?"
"Did football when I was younger. I liked it when it was for fun, but everybody else really just wanted it to be this serious effort. The coach was the worst. Proper arse."
Scott sniggers.
"What?" Cecil asks, bemused. "Was it something I said?"
"No, you just... remind me of a friend."
"That's good, isn't it?"
"Yeah." Scott smiles faintly. He glances over at the other tables in the restaurants, to spot the familiar crowd: Byrne, in a denim jacket; Colton sporting more piercings and several collars at once; Stewart fiddling with his snuff box; Patterson with only one ear; Travers, glaring back at him, and Theo, laughing loudly while looking around. When their eyes meet, Theo's laughter dies.
"You okay?"
Scott watches as Theo gets up from his table, making his way to the bathroom.
"Those dicks, huh," Cecil remarks, glancing over at the crowd. "Do they make your life miserable too?"
"No," Scott admits, glancing at his plate.
"Lucky." Cecil checks his phone. "Want to get out of here?"
"Yeah, would love to." They both get up and put on their jackets when Theo approaches, towering over both of them.
"Scott," he says flatly, throwing a cursory glance at Cecil, his eyes disdainful.
"Theo," Scott replies, his ears splaying. Cecil glances at Scott before he looks up at Theo, defiantly. "You two on a date?"
"Why do you care? What relationship do you two have?"
Scott glances at Cecil, and then at Theo, who swiftly looks over to his table with friends; Travers' stare is never-ending, while Colton and Patterson's eyes are narrowed, and disapproving.
"We just have the same classes," Theo says, coldly. Scott closes his eyes, and with a sigh he turns around.
"Scott?" Cecil asks.
"Thanks for the meal. I got to go." Before he catches a reply, he steps out into the wet drizzle of the winter day, wading through slush and across half-frozen roads.
"I've talked to Jerry now, I'll go fetch the keys to the new apartment tomorrow after work, okay?"
Mr. Oliver stands in the doorway to Scott's bedroom, while Scott scribbles down his homework with no fervour.
"Okay. Thanks." Mr. Oliver opens his mouth to talk, but he only smiles wistfully and closes the door. Scott buries his nose in his history book, chewing on his lower tongue and fidgeting. He glances over at his 3DS multiple times. Downstairs, he can hear the doorbell, a faint echo of the evening. Scarcely a minute passes by when there's a knock on the door, and Mr. Oliver peers in.
"You got a guest," he says, stepping aside. Theo enters the room, dripping wet, looking miserable. Scott glances at his 3DS, pining for a distraction. The door closes.
"I'm sorry," Theo says with a sniffle, wiping some of the rain out of his forehead.
"It's raining," Scott remarks. Theo lowers his gaze, staring at the ground and trembling. "Why are you sorry?"
"Because I shouldn't have... I shouldn't have said we're just classmates."
"So we are more than that."
"Of course we are. I just..." Theo drags both soaked paws across his face, spraying drizzle on the floor. He huffs and unzips his jacket, slipping out of it. "After new years, I came back to school, and my friends .... well... Stewart was beating up that... that gay bunny, calling him a ..."
"A what?"
Theo looks up, biting his lip. "A cocksucking faggot. Said he should've just stayed in the closet. And then they turned on me, asked if I was one, and I ... I panicked. They started asking about you, and what the deal was, and I...I couldn't..."
Scott twiddles his thumbs. "Would they beat you up if you told them?"
"I'm scared they will. Or that they'll... not be my friends."
"Wouldn't that make them shitty friends?"
Theo looks away, shivering.
"I got really... jealous when I saw you with that bunny. I ... I understand if you'd rather want to be with him. Somebody who's... actually out, and not a..."
"A massive cock?" Scott suggests, burying his face in his paws, sighing. "I asked you out in front of your friends, and the whole bloody cafeteria."
Theo looks around, his breathing sharp and fast. "You deserve better than me."
"I think I deserve better of you," Scott says, looking up. "Do you even want to be with me?"
"Yeah, I do," Theo says, almost a whimper.
Scott gets up from his sea. Approaching Theo, he nuzzles his chin softly, before kissing him. "I want to be with you."
Theo nods, and looks away.
"And I don't... really want to be blatantly out there. You don't have to... pick me up and carry me around, telling everybody we're together. It... it hurts when you lie about it, though."
"I'll do you better," Theo says, his voice choking. "Honest."
"I believe you," Scott murmurs, nuzzling Theo's chin softly. Theo wraps his arms around Scott, squeezing tight. "You're wet."
"It's raining," Theo remarks.
"Are you cold?"
"A bit," Theo mutters into Scott's ear. "You're good and warm, though..."
"If you want, we can put your clothes in the dryer and you can take a warm shower."
"Won't the dryer take long?"
"You can stay the night, if you'd like."
Theo pulls away from the hug and gazes into Scott's eyes. "I can?"
"Yeah. I'll find you a towel."
Theo squeezes Scott tightly. "I don't deserve you."
"Shush now," Scott grunts, gritting his teeth. "You're hurting me."
"Oh... sorry..."
"So your step-mum won't mind me staying?"
"No. She's left."
"Really?"
Theo follows Scott into the bathroom, a folded towel underneath his arm.
"Yeah. They're getting a divorce." Scott lowers his head.
"That's good, isn't it?"
"I guess."
Theo slips out of his shirt, flexing his shoulders and ruffling the wet, matted fur. "Want to join me?"
Scott freezes, his cheeks ablaze. He turns to gaze at Theo, who unbuttons his pants. "Or is it too soon?"
"It... it is, isn't it?" Scott mutters, looking away.
"Is it, though?"
"I think it is for ... for sex." Theo sighs with a smile.
"Yeah, probably." Theo puts his arm around Scott's shoulders, nuzzling his head. Scott looks up, gazing at Theo's chest, the heat not dying.
"I'll get your clothes in the dryer," Scott murmurs. Theo kisses his forehead, lets go, and starts to get out of his underwear; turning away, Scott picks up the soaked trousers and shirt, and then the pants. Theo enters the shower and soon the sound of drizzle filled the bathroom.
Scott sits by his desk, surfing the internet when Theo enters the bedroom, towel around his waist and fur all afluff. Scott glances at Theo before lowering his gaze, ears splayed slightly.
"Do I make you uncomfortable?" Theo asks, sitting down in bed.
"No," Scott says quietly. He pauses, then, "I've been thinking... what is sex to you?"
"To me?" Theo replies, eyebrows rising. He mulls the question for a bit. "It's... okay, it's fucking awesome. It's not something I'll say no to. Just that heavenly feeling of a girl going down on me..."
Theo stops, looking uncomfortable. "Sorry."
"What for?"
"It's... inappropriate of me, s'all. Talking about... past experiences."
"I haven't a clue what sex is to me. It's a little scary."
"I suppose," Theo says with a shrug. "But why?"
"I was trying to figure out why it's too soon for us. For sex. How am I supposed to know?"
"Well... do you want to?"
Scott folds his arms, shying away slightly. "I'm not sure."
"So you're not ready... right?"
"Yeah. But... what about us?"
"Us as in...?"
"Exclusivity? Isn't that the word?"
Theo looks more confused, leaning forward. "As in... do I want to be exclusive?"
"Yeah."
Theo gazes into nothingness for a bit, rubbing his nose thoughtfully. "I'm not going to lie, I've had some great sex while drunk at parties. Never while I was with my ex," he adds, "but after we broke up... just a girl, drunk off her tits, starts giving me a lapdance and then she blows me? Had that happen, loved that. But ... that was just an encounter, we never talked the next day. Nice in one way, but... at the same time? The times me and my ex had sex, we'd sometimes cuddle and just talk, and... never had that with a random chick. I guess what I mean is, I sorta like the idea of being open, but ... at the same time, if we're going to be together, you should be enough, y'know?"
"I hope I am," Scott admits.
"You will be. C'mere," Theo reaches forward and grabs Scott's arm, pulling him softly towards him. Scott follows and Theo places him in his lap. The bear kisses him gently, and embraces him. "What about you? You want to be exclusive?"
"I don't know," Scott says, nuzzling at Theo's chin. "I think so. It's... new. And scary. And ... and exciting, and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather be exploring this with than you."
"Well, it's settled then. If you do change your mind, that's fine, just tell me beforehand, okay?"
"Yeah, of course."
Squeezing him softly, Theo kisses Scott's cheek before he pulls them both down onto the bed. "So..."
"So...?" Scott repeats softly, licking Theo's lips slowly.
"What should we do...?"
Theo's eyes are alight, sultry; Scott flushes ever so slightly, feeling the bear's breath mingle with his own. "I... I'm still not... Is that...?"
Theo flushes too, a paw moving down to cover the bulge prodding against Scott's leg. "Well, yeah."
"Do I really turn you on?" Scott asks.
"Of course you do." Theo rolls onto his back with a groan, adjusting the towel around his waist. Scott sits upright, gazing over the bear's upper body.
"I'm tired," Scott admits.
"Me too. Spent, I am, won't say no to any sleep."
"Let me find you a pillow and a blanket." Scott slips out of bed, casting a glance at the entirety of the bear's form; he averts his gaze swiftly, the flush intensifying.
"Where am I sleeping?"
Scott turns in the doorway. "In my bed," he mutters. "Unless you prefer the guest room?"
"Your bed sounds wonderful," Theo murmurs. Scott smiles.
"I'll be right there."