FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

The prison van was slowing down. From the sound of it, it was now driving down a gravel path, relatively straightforward. It was small, inside, but not much more than the cell in wich Rupert Nelson had spent the last few years in. During most of his transportation, the bear had been silent, deep in thoughts. He wasn't really buying the story they had told him. A new kind of rehab program, his councellor had said. A chance like no other his appointed lawyer had answered. He gave in, in the end, but deep inside, he didn't believed it, because... He didn't believe he deserved to be free again. He stared at his wrists, his eyes gliding over he cold gleam of his handcuffs. He liked them. He liked to have them on, because they meant he couldn't fuck his life, or anybody else's when he had them on.

He was torn from his reverie when the vehicle stopped, and the door at the back of the van was slammed open. ''We've arrived, get up and don't move so we can unchain you.'' said one of his guards, a bull, hopping in. They always flanked him with the biggest guys to watch him, even back in prison. Rupert was quite a tall bear and tended to make people uneasy around him. The large diagonal scar, wich he received during his gang days and that adorned his cheek, didn't help either. He got up silently, staying docile as the guard unlocked the chains binding him to the van, leaving only his wrists and ankles attached. The guard got out of the van and gestured the prisonner to follow him, which the bear did calmly.

''What kind of freakin' rehab center is this shit ?'' asked Rupert out loud, his eyes widening at the building before him. The two guard, the bull and a St bernard, although staying silent were clearly wondering the same thing. Before them was a gigantic manor surrounded by a seemingly endless property. From the look of it, it was relatively isolated, too, for Rupert couldn't see anything past the trees that surrounded the place, nor hear anything that sounded like the noise of a nearby city. That's where his reflections were, when the door of the manor opened, letting an immaculately dressed badger slip through. Hands behind his back and a killer smile on his face, he descended the small stairs leading to the small gravel plaza before the manor. ''Welcome, gentlemen. Mr Nelson, I presume ?'' asked their host, nodding to both guards, before stopping in front of Rupert. ''Yeah... I s'pose that'd be me...'' The bear's answer was a bit hesitant, for he really couldn't understand what was really going on. The place didn't look like what he was expecting at all. ''Well, thank you for your services, sirs, I think I'll handle it from here. If you could take his handcuffs off, before leaving, it would be appreciated.''. Both guard seemed hesitant, but finally, the bear was completely unchained, and left with the badger. As the gravel crackled at the vehicle driving away, the bear's host gestured him to follow inside. Having nothing else to do, the bear obeyed.

Rupert studied the badger from behind. His behavior, his movements where calculated and controlled. He was relatively round, chubby even, the bear assumed that the guy probably had most of what he desired. Rupert would probably have looked like him, without his gang days and his regular visits to the prison's gym, his muscles added to his impressive physique, even if he was a bit round from, well, being a bear. Also, Rupert was taller than the badger by a couple heads. ''So, Mr Nelson, do you know why you are here ?'' the bear was suddenly cut from his train of thought.. .And also, maybe from staring at the cute upper class ass. ''Well, yeah... Hmm, okay, maybe not. They told me it'd be a rehab kind of thing. I wasn't really expecting... hmmm...'' ''This place ? Or me ?'' finished the badger with a smile, that looked a bit more genuine. ''Ya could say that. No offense. Gotta admit you don't look like a rehab worker.'' The badger nodded, and opened a door, entering a rather large and luxurious office. Rupert noticed the inside, a large mahogany desk, a glass table, a n armchair, a sofa... He turned toward the badge, raising a brow... ''Yer a shrink ?'' he scoffed. ''I can be, if needed.'' answered the badger, walking to his desk and grabbing a notepad and a file. ''But I am specifically educated in behavioural tendencies, modifications and hypnosis. Don't.'' warned the Badger, raising a finger to make a point, as the bear just snorted in half laugher and was about to say something. ''This is too cliché to my tastes, and really, I don't want to have this talk now.'' The bear shrugged and, as the badger pointed at the sofa, walked to it and sat.

''So what ? Yer gonna hypnotize me into behaving and be a fine and dandy, productive member of society ?'' asked Rupert, after his 'doctor' had sat in the armchair, and seemed to skim over a few papers on his notepad. ''Hmmm.. that's a bit more complicated, Rupert. May I call you Rupert ?''. The bear answered with a shrug. ''Yeah. May I call you anything at all ?'' the badger nodded. ''Call me Henry. Is there something wrong ?'' he added, watching the bear's face turn to surprise. ''I... Hey... Nah, nevermind... It's just... I once had a boyfriend. A badger. He was called Henry as well.''. The badger looked genuinely surprised and reviewed his file rapidly. ''That's strange... I have no record of...'' ''It was before I made a mess of my life. Nevermind, it's nothing.''. Henry nodded, although, he looked rather dubious at the last statement. ''So.. .Shall we get started ?''

''Yer kidding me... Aint'cha ?'' groaned the bear. ''What, this ? '' asked the doctor, showing the golden pocketwatch he had pulled out of his pocket. ''I assure you, I mainly use it to check on the hour. Not that I can't hypnotize a subject with it, mind it, but it's more.. hmm, playful. And I don't think you're a good subject for that... Yet.'' he finished with a smile. ''No, I think we should start with teaching you how to relax. That's one of the most prominent problems I encountered with... Convicts. Prison life, especially preceded by gang life tends to keep you on edge at all time. So first, I need to teach you how to relax around me.'' ''I am rel...'' once again, the badger got him to shut up by raising a finger. ''Your hands are balled into fists, either on your knees or in your pockets, you didn't came closer than two meters away from me until you could judge that I wouldn't have the upper hand in a wrestle with you from my build, you tense and get ready to spring to action each time you see me reach for something, until you realise it's harmless...'' he reached for his pen, just to prove a point, watching the bear tensing, and then realize he just did... ''And you check every two minutes around the room to make sure you're aware of the best things to use as a weapon, and the best escape routes. I can tell you noticed my paper knife, my desklight and the poker near the fireplace.'' as he enounced them, the bear helplessly left his gaze drift from one item to the other, a bit panicked at noticing that it was all true. It had been unconscious, but he did made this exercise. He glanced down and weakly added ''you... forgot the floor lamp...''. The doctor nodded. ''So, you see ? You need to learn to relax. You're not in prison or in the streets, fighting for your dear life.'' The bear nodded, half heartedly. '''Kay then.. how do we do ?'' Henry smiled at the bear.

''Well, why wouldn't we start with a rather simple exercise ?'' Offered the badger. He pulled his armchair closer to the sofa, his smile quite soft and comforting. Rupert nodded and eased in the sofa, the bear not entirely sure of this whole situation. In the end, even if hypnosis was a bunch of nonsense, to him, it was still better than a cell, for now. Yet, he wasn't sure he had a place, outside the bars. ''Okay, so, let's try with this. Focus on your breathfor a while, and close your eyes.'' The badger observed the bear's reactions. He could see the bear close his eyes tight, probably having to force himself into such an 'unsafe' position. His breath was strong and regular.

''Very good, Rupert. Now, please try to imagine an environment where you feel at ease. Somewhere, real or not, where you can relax. Can you do that ?''

''I.. guess... yeah.'' Rupert's answer was hesitant.

''And, what kind of place would that be, Rupert ?''

''It's my cell.''. The doctor's eyes widened, and he had to reassert his control on his surprise fast, not to drop his pen.

''That's... well, that's interesting, Rupert. Can you tell me why you can relax here, rather than some other place ?''

The bear grunted a bit ''Rather not, doc.''

''No worries. For now, why wouldn't you just describe your roo- well, your cell for me ?'' asked the badger, switching the subject, because he felt it wouldn't put the bear at ease.

''hmm... Well. I picture my first cell... Right after... Well, my first cell. It was a two person cell, but I was alone, back then.'' The doctor kept his eyes on the subject, making sure to note everything he could.. every detail was important. And right now, he did notice an oddity. His subject had started by putting his hands on his legs. But as he started to relax, his wrists had come closer from each other... As if the bear was handcuffed.

''Please continue, Rupert.'' insisted the badger, and seeing the bear wasn't sure what to say next, he encouraged him. ''The floor is concrete, right ? How is your bed ? And what is the wall's color ?'' His voice was a little bit deeper than previously...

''Yeah.. the floor is concrete. It's gray and uneven... And cold. The walls are light blue. There iss a small window, with bars... But most of the light come from neons. My bed have white sheets and a black blanket. It's kinda hard, y'know... but that's alright.''

The badger nodded. ''Very good, Mr Nelson. Now, please I'd like you to take a long, deep breath and imagine yourself lying on your bed. It's a safe place, right ? In your cell. It's empty, and there's only you. For our little exercise, I'd like you to remember the texture of your blanket. It was rough, wasn't it ? Focus on it, Rupert. I'm sure you can remember how it felt, between your fingers...'' With a satisfied smile, the badger noticed the bear's fingers rubbing against each others, trying to appraise the imaginary material.

''Yes. Rough. Untreated wool, I think. Very warm too.'' The bear was getting into the imagery now. He could perfectly picture himself in his cell. His first moment of peace since a long time. His eyes fixated on the neon on the ceiling, the cold, lonely place had been a change of pace from the constant run his life had become.

''Great, Rupert. Don't let go of the blanket, and now, imagine placing your palm on the wall. Wich hand is it, on the wall ?''

''My right one.'' answered Rupert.

''It's hard and cold, isn't it, Rupert ?'' The badger was happy with a simple nod of the bear. ''Now, it's very easy, Rupert. '' once again, the badger's voice was dropping a bit lower, the rythm becoming more even, a bit more monotone. ''I'd like you to just... focus on the difference between your hands.. How one feels warm, brushing against the rough surface of your wool blanket... the other cold, against the wall... Brushing against the blue paint... Maybe feeling the slight bumps of the wall...'' The bear gave a long sigh that made the hypnotist smile.

''Hmmm... Can feel... bumps... places.. where the paint peeled off...'' Now, the bear's body was really starting to relax... His hands weren't clenched into fists anymore, his chin was slowly lowering toward his chest...

''Good, you're doing very good, Rupert. Now, we're going to do another exercise. Don't worry, it's very easy. Just listen to my voice attentively. You can listen, Rupert, right ?'' a soft nod and a mumble were enough for the badger. ''Perfect. Now, I'm going to count down from five to zero. I just want you to do a little thing for me, while I do so. It's still just a little focusing exercise, really. As I count down, you're going to focus on one item, or detail of your cell. Zero is your bed. So, on Zero, you focus on your bed. You can pick anything in your cell for all the other numbers, is that understood, Rupert ?''

''Yes.'' Answered the bear, simply. It was easy.. still, just focusing a bit. That was all he had to do.. .Easy.

''Good. You're doing just perfect, Rupert. So let's just start at five. It's a nice number. Easy to relax when you're at five. What do you picture at five ?'' Asked Doctor Henry.

''The bars.'' He could imagine the cold steel that protected the exterior world from him. He never really felt imprisonned. His biggest prison, he built it himself.

''The bars, yes... That's alright. They are solid and safe, right ?'' a nod from the bear. The badger was starting to understand his patient better now. ''Take your time to focus on them. Recall them. They are familiar, aren't they ? Let's keep going. Down to four. What is 'four' in your cell rupert ?''

''The window.'' The only point of natural light in his room. Sometimes, a bird took a few seconds to rest on the outside of the window. That always made him smile. The glass wasn't tinted, but the window couldn't open either. It was barely the size of the bear's head anyway.

''Nice. You liked to watch it, right ?'' the nod was expected. Henry guessed easily, though. Those five elements would be things that had mattered to the bear, consciously or not. And the first ones were the most important. If the window had been first, he'd have assumed the bear had dreamed of being free, but it wasn't the' case. His incarceration was the thing that made the bear relax in the first place. Probably a form of guilt, Henry would have to check the bear's file more thoroughly later. ''Let's continue. First take a nice, deep breath... theeeere.'' he watched his tall, strong patient fill his lungs and slump deeper in the sofa. Admitedly, he did feel a rush, in such situations. ''Three. What is at three, Rupert ?''

''The other bed.'' In his mind he could imagine his head turning toward the bed against the other wall, as he was lying on his own, it was an nice place to be, right here.

''The other bed... That's... good, Rupert.''The badger stayed silent for a few seconds. Why on earth would the bear be interested in the other bed ? He needed a couple seconds more to realize the bear was probably more interested by who would fill it. ''Did you talk often with your fellow inmates ? Made friend, maybe ?''

''Yes. Dunno 'bout friends... Maybe... Talking helped.''

''That's very good. Take a dep breath. You're relaxing more, aren't you ? Please just enjoy the quiet of your cell and relax deeper. Two, now. As you're so relaxed and quiet now, what is two, in your cell ?''

''The neon.'' the bear remembered it perfectly. The glum light. Too light for when he woke up, too weak for everything else. Reading was hard with it. But, for all intent and purposes, it was the sun, for the cellmates.

''Of course. That's good, Rupert. Light was important, wasn't it ? Now relax, and lets follow down this path. Deeply relaxed, now, calm and quiet. You don't have to worry about anything, right now. You're safe on your bed, and there's only my voice to listen to. Feels nice, right ?'' the slightest nod. Good. Now was an interesting part. Some patients were trying to keep something important, unconsciously, sometimes, even from them. What should have been given at five, central to them was unconsciously pushed back, covered. When that happened, most of the time, cornered, unable to ignore it, the mind would pass it at one, but was sometimes way more important than what had been given at all the other numbers. Or, there really was nothing, and the mind would settle on something trivial instead. The badger was sincerely hoping to learn something central about his patient, right now. ''And down at one. Just relax and focus on one. What is one, Rupert ?''

The bear seemed hesitant, which only increased the badger's impatience. ''The washbasin.''

Ah well. Not this time, it seemed. ''That's.. Perfectly alright, Rupert.'' It was probably the trivial last item case right now, no need to bother trying to decypher much here. ''Now, keep drifting, peacefuly, on your bed, in your cell. And zero. Focused on your bed. Focused on you. You are relaxed now, right, Rupert ?''

''I'm.. Relaxed.'' Answered the bear, one word per inspiration, showing how nicely relaxed he was, indeed.

''Now, we're going to push this exercise a little bit further. It's very easy, Rupert, you'll see. Just relax. Take a deep breath. Remember, we just want to see if you can be hypnotized. Everything's alright, here and now. I'm going to count again. And you're going to tell me what is each number in your cell, each time. Do you understand ?''

The bear nodded softly his head. As time went, Doctor Henry's voice was becoming more and more soothing, deep and rumbling... With a very gentle drawl... ''yes...''

''Five.''

''The bars...'' Solid and safe. His incarceration. Important.

''Four.''

''The window...'' The sunlight, the birds. His dreams.

''Three.''

''The other bed...'' His fellow inmates. Only persons who could understand him. What it was to fuck his own life up and be the only one to blame.

''Two.''

''The neon.'' It had been the sun, the rythm of his life for so many years.

''One.''

''The washbasin.'' He remembered all the times he glanced at it.

''Zero.''

''My bed.'' His only personal space. Where he would rest, where he would think. The throne from wich he could contemplate the waste he made of his life.

''Very good, Rupert. You are relaxed, right ? How relaxed do you feel ?'' The badger was very focused himself, syncing his words and breathing on the bear's own inhales and exhales.

''Very...''

''Great. You are doing perfect, Rupert. You're doing so very, very good. Now, I'm going to count once again. Listen carefully. Focus on my voice, Rupert, only on my voice. See each number be an item of your cell. If you don't notice a number, when I count, it's alright. If you miss a number, it's alright, as long as you focus. It only means you're falling in a nice, comfortable trance.

Five...

Four...

Three...

Two...

One...

Zero...

How do you feel ?''

''Very.. Relaxed...'' He answered truthfuly, without thinking, clinging to the badger's every words.

''That's good. Stay focused. Focus on the items... feel them around you as I count.

Five...

Four...

Three...''

The bear frowned a bit... Something was amiss. Was there less light in his cell ? But the badger's voice reclaimed his attention.

''One...

Zero...'' Henry smiled. His subject had frowned, but, didn't react much more. And now, he was back in a relaxed state. ''It's alright if you skip a number, Rupert, remember. Everything is alright. It just means you're falling deeper in trance. It's alright to fall deeper. Come deeper for me, Rupert...

Five...

Three...

One...

Zero.''This time the bear didn't flinch. Perfect. ''You're doing perfect, Rupert.

Five...

One...

Zero...''

Rupert felt floaty and relaxed... His jaw was slack, mouth slightly open, and his eyes were closed, seeing nothing but his cell. The cell felt kinda empty and dark, right now, but Doctor Henry's voice echoed in his head and he could focus on his words... That was easier. He must be very deep for missing so many numbers...

''Good Rupert... nice and deep. You're drifting on your bed, now... Guided with my voice.. following just my voice. You're doing so good. Relaxed.. deep... When only Zero will remain, you will be on your bed, floating in the void, deeply hypnotized. Do you understand, Rupert ?'' A simple nod was once again the only answer the badger needed from the bear. ''Very well...

Five...

Zero... Feels good to be so relaxed, so nice and deep in a comfortable trance, for me, right, Rupert ?''

''Yeah...''

''Let's count once again... focus on my words.. on the numbers... If you miss them, it means you're deep into hypnosis, right, Rupert ? But that would be alright...

Zero.''

The bear gave a weak grunt. The badger smiled happily.

''Good. Very good.. once again.. focus... Zero...'' The badger came a bit closer... '''Zero...'' His face slipped just beside the bear's, his muzzle right beside the round ear, whispering very, very softly... ''Zero... Deeper and deeper, now.. Zero... Deep for me, Rupert... Falling... Only your bed, now... Relaxing.. floating.. Zero... Zero... Zero... You are deeply hypnotized, now.''

The bear's voice came weakly, soft and gentle, for such a tall guy... ''I am... deeply... Hypnotized...''

''Perfect, Rupert. You're doing perfect. Now, listen to me. I want you to focus on my voice. My voice is like your cell... Do you understand, Rupert ?''

''I.. M.. Your voice... s'like... my.. cell...'' The bear's voice was a bit confused, but still in trance. Henry's voice felt so nice... And the breath brushing against his ear, the whispers, made him shiver slightly

''That's right, my friend. You can trust my voice. When you are in trance, my voice is your cell. You can't escape my voice. It surrounds you. My voice... Is your cell... You are.. its prisonner.''

The bear nodded almost too eagerly. As the hypnotist had guessed, the strange compulsion to be captive was a great help to put this bear under. ''I trust your voice... I'm t's'prisonner... It's... my.. cell...'' The voice was less confused now, more anchored into this new reality. The voice was his cell.. the voice was safe.

''Good, Rupert. Now, I want to ask you something. And you can answer me, because you know you can trust me, right ?''

''Yes...'' Answered the sleepy bear.

''What was your favorite dessert, when you were a child ?''

The snap of a finger, dry, sudden. ''Awake, now !''

Rupert came to, regaining his senses and shaking his head a little. ''What... I...'' He glanced up to the badger, who was sitting in his armchair, and smiling mysteriously. ''Did I... ?'' he started. He saw the doctor nod his head, but couldn't really believe it. He didn't remember a thing... Well, he remembered imagining his cell, but past that... ''Did you... ?'' another nod, still the same smile. ''That's not true. I'd remember it, wouldn't I ?''

''For our first sessions, not. Not only aren't you very trance trained, but I do need to make you forget most of what happens, for now. Don't worry, with time, it'll come back naturally, if your subconscious believe you need to remember.'' The badger reached for a glass and a bottle of water, and was satisfied to see the bear not tensing at that move. He also needed the drink, for all the talk he just did. ''I'm not buying it. I just dozed, didn't I ?'' ''Well, Your favorite treats, as a child were your mother's homemade honey donuts, your first teddy bear was called Ruxpin, very cute, if you ask me, and for all you know, is still stashed in your old toybox, in your old room at your parent's home, and you first discovered you were homosexual in college, but you didn't feel comfortable telling me how. A glass, maybe ?'' offered Henry, as he presented a second glass, filled with fresh water, to the bear. ''Yeah.. I think I need that.''

''For the duration of your rehabilitation, Mr Nelson, you will be lodged here. I am your therapist and as such, am bound by medical secret. You can leave the manor, but not the property. This is important. This program is experimental, and based on truth. You can take fresh air, but we're isolated, if you run, you'll be found and will be out of the program.'' Explained Henry, as he led Rupert to his room. ''I hope this will be of your tastes. The program is still experimental, so you're the only convict around here. The manor's staff is still very small and keep to itself for the most part. We're still hiring.'' Henry observed Rupert glancing around his room. As a manor's room it was around ten times the space he was used to live in, and it was clearly unsettling. He noticed the bear's expression soften at the sight of the barred windows. The therapist sighed. Then he realized it was maybe going too fast for the bear. ''Well, for the first few nights, I'll have to lock your door.'' He totally made that up, but realized his patient probably needed it. ''Oh, really ? Thanks. I mean, I don't mind.'' Nodding, the badger closed the door, then, locked it. This was going to be a very interesting case.

''February, the twenty-eighth. Case of Rupert Nelson, bear, thirty-five years old.'' the badger was in his boxers, the chubby doctor enjoying some... Freedom during his sleep. He was holding a dictaphone to his face and recording notes. As he did so, he was pacing in his room. ''A very interesting case. The subject is not agressive, although, does switch to defensive easily. At first glance, prison life and gang life scarred him. He is restless and anxious. I suspect he is more educated than he let it through.'' the badger grabbed his note pad, double checking his notes. ''Good physical health, a very slight overweight, but that's typical with bears. But very muscular. A rather nasty scar covers his left cheek, thought. I suspect what caused it may also have left a trauma, I'll have to check about that.'' He picked a honey doughnut and bit on it. ''Also, stress eating may end up killing me.'' He added that in his record, humorously. He liked to keep things light. He did notice they were honey doughnuts. Was that what he had ordered ? Quite an amusing coincidence. ''Mr Nelson is also suffering with a compulsion to be... either bound or prisonner. My first guesses are that it is caused by the incident that led to his gang's arrestations and imprisonment. He seems to think that it's safer for the world if he's kept away.'' He sighed, thinking about his session. ''Something interesting happened during the session. Mr Nelson revealed that I shared first name and specie with his boyfriend from before his time with his gang. That would bring him back to college, I believe. It's funny, because we are of the same age, and from what I've read in his file, frequented the same college. And we also share the same sexuality. Although, It's sad to say that I am not this quite sexy hunk of a bear's lover. Besides, I would never have let him slip out of my sight ! On second thought, these last notes may be slightly unprofessional. End of notes for the case of Rupert Nelson February, the twenty-eighth.'' The badger sighed and put his dictaphone back in its case and walked toward his bedside table. He was about to go to bed and just glanced at his mirror. He felt a bit strange. There was something under his mirror. His eyes glided over it, and suddenly, his hand was on his muzzle, in shock. When he glanced back at the mpirror, tears were running down his round cheeks.

To be continued.