Satirical skit
"I don't write romantic stories, I copied and pasted from other sites. And then changed the names and settings only."
_ English is my third language, please correct me if I am using Chinese-style English. Please feel free to comment ^_^ _
Satirical skit
** It had been a night of stormy weather, with torrential rain and high winds. A rat was watching TV when there was a THUD sound on the windows and the noise frightened him. His apartment was at tenth floor, who would come and knocked the windows during raining night? Suddenly he thought about ghosts. In all movies, ghosts tend to appear from out of nowhere during raining nights.**
** Turning around slowly, he noticed blood stain on the windows. He found he had been holding his breath. Ghosts never bleed. He stood up and walked towards the door. He flipped a switch to turn on the light on the balcony. There he saw an owl lying on the balcony. Just like him, the owl was not wearing clothes and judging from the bulging on the chest this owl was a girl. She got soaked to the skin and she was all of a tremble with cold. Her forehead was bleeding and eyes closed. He thought she was dead but she suddenly opened her eyes.**
"Ms, do you eat mice?"
"Ouch my head. Of course not, so disgusting."
"Phew. Come, let' **s go inside my house now."**
"Thanks. Why did you ask that question?"
He grabbed her furry hands and helped her to get up. This was his first time seeing an owl. The pale face with its heart shape and black eyes gave the flying bird a distinctive appearance, like a flat mask with oversized, oblique black eyeslits, the ridge of feathers above the bill somewhat resembling a nose. "Because according to the books, owl is nocturnal and preys upon small mammals like rat** , ***"* he answered, giving her an affable smile.
"Oh you' **re a rat. That*' *s correct for a pure owl but I*' *m an anthro. See my** furry hands and bird-** legs? I *'* m half-Barn Owl ***,* half-human."
After they got into the house, he locked the door and led her to the washroom. He put a chair near the shower and said with a smile, "My name is Johnson** , please sit here for a while. You looked like a Gatchaman, the owl guy. ***"*
"I' **m Benneta.** I watched all four seasons of Gatchaman, I'm not as fat as him."
About three minute** s **** later, Johnson returned with a first aid kit. "Ms Benneta, this *'* ll hurt a little bit."**
"You can call me Benneta."
Johnson smiled and began to clean her forehead. Luckily the wound was not deep and he managed to stop the bleeding. She screwed up her face in pain.
"Sorry Benneta, did I hurt you?"
"It' **s OK, I*' *m fine."**
Johnson took out a Band-aid and pasted on Benneta' **s wound. "You*' *re shivering, what do you need to dry yourself?" He asked concernedly.**
Benneta stood up from the chair and spread the wings at her back, she has light gray on its upper body with reddish brown and puffs of white feathers. She raised her short, squarish tail. "What' **s wrong**** , **** Johnson?"**
"Your feathers seem very pretty. Really looked like that Gatchaman." ** D ***ifferent species, but* Johnson still marvel at** Benneta ***'s beauty.*
Benneta didn' **t speak loudly because she was so shy, "**** You've **** a terrific sense of humor and could be very amusing. I just need a towel only."**
When Johnson left the room, Benneta used her own unique method to dry her feathers. By the time he returned with a new towel, most of her feathers were dried. She dried her remaining bodies with the white towel. He could not stop looking at Benneta, her melons heaves with every breath.
Benneta suddenly became aware of Johnson' **s keen brown eyes upon her, taking her all in.** H** e almost started drooling ***.* "Johnson, thanks for the towel." ** She said **** with a flicker of a smile as she folded the towels tidily.**
Johnson began to recover himself and took towel from her hands. "** Sorry, I've been drunk by your beauty. **** Do you want a cup of hot Milo?" He asked in a tone of great kindness. **** Benneta *'s* ***face turned red, she was surprised and ashamed.*
It was still raining outside and Benneta did not know when the rain would stop. She nodded and forced an uneasy smile, hoping that Johnson was a good guy, and hoping that he was not planning something evil.
"Come, kitchen is over here."
Benneta saw a medium, brown wood table with four legs. There were four chairs at the table. They were about as big as the table and they were made out of wood. She sat down and looked around while Johnson was preparing Milo.
Johnson ** placed a **** cup of Milo in front of her. "This is also a mahjong table, sometimes I played mahjong with my friends *. So, how come you ended up lying on my balcony?" He *** said **** in a low smooth tone.**
"Thanks again. I was on my way home when suddenly the rain attacked me. There was no shelter to hide and I thought I could make it home but the wind was more powerful than me."
Just then Johnson' **s smart phone rang.** He smiled in an awkward almost apologetic way. "Yes, my ID is Rat Fans, sure, no problems, thanks."
When Johnson put down the smart phone, Benneta asked in amazement, "You' **re the writer of S**** o **** F *urry?"*
Johnson showed surprised expression. "You' **re an owl. Are you the Owl Lovers?" He asked suspiciously.**
Benneta nodded her head and looked triumph. "Normally rat** s are **** disgusting **** but you managed to give them life and portrayed them as cute as Mickey Mouse. But a rat having ten-inch cock is a little bit exaggerated." She said with a laugh.**
"Well, mine is ten-inch," Johnson said, a little smugly. "At first I didn' **t like owl because owl eats mice. But after I saw your arts, I was held captive by so many types of owls."**
"Are you married? You wrote many good love stories," Benneta asked timidly.
Johnson shook his head slowly, "Single and available. And you?"
"Same," Benneta cast a shy glance full of constraint at Johnson. "You're single and yet you can write decent romantic story, brilliant."
"I don't, I copied and pasted from other sites. And then changed the names and settings only," Johnson was looking very pleased with himself.
"Well, that's very surprising. Not afraid of being denounced?" Benneta said wonderingly.
"Don't worry, those stories were more than five years old, no one would notice," Johnson answered with a smile.
They had a pleasant conversation until suddenly Johnson realised that it was already ten o' **clock.**
"Benneta, i** t *'* s still raining and it *'* s late already. You *'* d better stay here tonight, I *'* ve a guest room."**
Benneta giggled slightly, "This is just the same as your one night stand stories, don' **t have to take responsibility." She remarked.**
"If you got...I' **ll take the responsibility," Johnson stammered.**
Benneta stood up and asked Johnson to show her the guest room. "Johnson, you want to...now...?"
"But I don' **t have condom."**
"I' **m not on pill and period,** however you may hit the jackpot, do you still want to do it?"
"Don' **t worry, I*' *ll take care of you if I hit the jackpot."**
Once they entered the guest room, Johnson show** ed **** Benneta **** h ***is penis, "Wow, really ten-inch!" She exclaimed.* His erect penis was ten inches long and the skin was very rough. Its head was a darker pink than the shaft and she could feel it throbbing the longer she held it.
"Benneta, do you feel uncomfortable when you' **re lying on the bed, pressing your lovely wings?"**
"No, not at all."
Slowly Johnson straddled Benneta and began to feed the inches of his penis inside her vagina. With great care he inserted it only partially until a quarter of his penis was inside her. Immediately she began to grimace in pain.
"Sorry, did I hurt you again?"
"** It doesn't hurt *, Johnson, please continue. Sorry I' *m not a virgin anymore, torn it when I masturbated. I also can't give you blowjob at all."
"No problems."
Finally Johnson was all the way inside Benneta. He couldn' **t have been happier. Her vagina felt so wet and warm, wrapping around his penis like a vise. Tears came to her eyes as his penis began to stretch her vagina to its limits.** He paused for her to accommodate. "Thanks," She whispered. Slowly Johnson worked his way deeper and deeper inside her. He was careful not to hurt her. Her response was instantaneous as her climax began. She closed her eyes and felt the thrilling waves passed through her. His climax followed immediately.
*********************
** "So, when are we going to get married?"** Benneta asked softly.
** "How about next month?"** Johnson gasped.
** "Johnson, you want to upload our one night stand love story? I can draw our pictures for you."**
** "Sure, but I must make it more complicated. Our love is too simple and straightforward. You came, we had one night stand, and then we got married next week. Readers don't like this kind of bland love story. I must make up a story such as you rejected and gone home, but agreed to meet again next day. And then blah...blah...blah...finally you agreed to have sex with me, 3,000 to 6,000 words, just nice!"**
** "Having heard what you said, I understand a little. It is also very unrealistic, which girl would have sex with a stranger? Moreover, almost all girls and boys in the story were single, that was a really creepy coincidence. In fact, I think the one night stand stories are farfetched and anomaly. What if the girl got pregnant after that night? What if later the guy denied everything?"**
** "Did you read Renamon_Lovers stories? 'Love At First Sight', it was a one night stand story but luckily it has a good ending, the guy became a good father eventually. You're right, both of them were singles. An unusual conjunction of circumstances led to the incident."**
** "I had sex with you because I did read that story. I was hoping you're a good father and I can have a happy life forever. I also like kids ^_^"**
** "Careful, many couples divorced because of kids. Seldom writers, including me, wrote about this kind of conflicts. You won't know your parents toil if you don't have children, thus you can't write out this kind of conflicts."**
** ** Benneta asked, begging for reassurance, "It's too late for us now, so you want to quit?"
** Johnson put his arms around** Benneta and gave her a kiss, "Of course not. We must stick together to put through no matter what will happen hereafter."
** "You spoke like a priest. Want to start second round? I can't give you blowjobs but you can use my holes freely."**
** "Sure, I'll write out our love story tomorrow and mail to you. It'll be full of twists and turns, and of course it has happy ending, most readers don't like sad ending."**
** "Johnson, don't forget some readers don't like pregnancy. So just mention that we got four lovely kids, skip the giving birth process."**
** "Sure, thanks for the info."**
The end.