The ladylike way of saying "Please Fuck Me"
This is just a few thoughts I've been having. An internal struggle I've had for the past few days <3
Some mornings are more difficult than others.
You wake up in a sweat, trembling, shivering with a need for something that your groggy mind can't center around. It isn't until you feeling another tremor ripple through you that you realize it it's not sweat that has your pantries sticking to yourself. Clawing at your bed sheets in an unanswered frustration, hoping that maybe if you sit long enough the feelings will fade, just as they have the last few days.
Another slow breath in lets a silent curse fill your head as you struggle to think about something else. Your thoughts a long rambling jumble of words, each one progressively more powerful than the last. Biting at your lip to push them away. Knowing that a woman shouldn't think like that, they shouldn't want that. Things contrary to what your mom taught you a woman should want. You should want the nice guy. Who thinks of your feelings. Who takes you to dinners. Who puts you on a pedestal. Who does all the nice things. You shouldn't want the bad, the unseen, the taboo.
Biting at your lip in frustration again, you'd try to clear your head. Trying to silence that nagging itch. Closing your eyes just to shut yourself off from the world in a desperate attempt to collect what thoughts you could still control. Able to stay off the warm familiar ideas for a few seconds before they would come seeping back into your mind. Of how to solve your problem instead of just ignoring it. Of finding a way to say something without words to the guys that would be around you. Maybe go without panties today, maybe wearing a shorter skirt. Maybe your tail would lift at the wonderfully wrong time. Each compromise you mentally made pushing you toward that inevitable end. Knowing how dangerous that line of thought was.
So there you sit. Stuck between the lady like way you were raised and that desire you keep trying to hide. The one that would lead you to a club far enough away from your house to avoid anyone who might know who you are. Your legs would tremble not from fear, but from the small tickle of your arousal warmly leaking down the curve of your thigh. Fear swirling in your head for a moment like a morning fog before a breath of the predominantly male scent hanging in the air would burn those thoughts away. Filling them with what was so much more comfortable.
Leaning against a wall to help keep you up as the scents hanging heavily in the air fill your nose. The thrill of the unknown faces looking back at you. Not knowing what the end of the story would be to each look that would be thrown your way. Each stranger you looked at simply needed an incentive, a sign of what you no longer wanted, but needed. Each set of eyes looking back at you before you stopped at the one glaring at you a few feet away. That smirk, that expression he gave you that spoke a number of words all while standing there. He knew what you were. He knew what you wanted. All of it taboo. You can't ask for it. You can't simply beg him. You can't look desperate. You have to look ladylike. You have to... you need him to... That smirk filling your gaze again. A smirk that warns you you should know better. Your thoughts turn to what it'd lead to. Of thinking that by the end of the night you'd either be at the end of his leash or in a men's bathroom; where ever he decided to leave you. And you pray that by the end you won't end up pregnant. That maybe you'll know what the face of the father of your litter looks like, or at very least, that that nagging voice of need can be silenced for a few more minutes.
...but the screech of your alarm clock pulls you back. Those thoughts leaving claw marks in your mind as they're pulled away slowly. Breathing in sharply as your chest heaves for a moment, unsure of how you'll be able to face another day like this. Letting out a small sigh of frustration as life pulls you from your bed. A small shiver ripple as I peeled back the heat stained fabric from between my legs, letting my panties crumple to the ground before hesitating for a moment, making my first decision for the day as my hand stays over the second pair, silently asking 'yes or no.'