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I gave her a small, sad smile as I turned to leave. "I love you too." I said, and then I walked away. Walking away is what I had to do, because when she told me she loved me, she meant what she said, but she didn't mean the words the same way I did. It was easy to love someone, far more complicated to be in love with someone.

How long had I loved her? Years, certainly, and the first time I'd told her she'd smiled at me and told me she loved me as well. It had been one of the best moments of my life, but the next day she'd introduced me to her new boyfriend and I understood that she'd heard my words, but she hadn't really heard what I was saying. I'd been thinking of our future together, she'd been thinking of what a great friend I was, and the divide between those two things was insurmountable.

For four months I watched her grow closer to him and I never said anything. I'd already had my say, and it hadn't been enough. I was under no delusion of being put in the "friend zone," a term men with entitlement issues used to describe the situation I was in. Her new boyfriend was a good man, a wolf hybrid with great looks and an amazing personality. He was also very successful and could provide her with all the things she'd ever need or want.

I was still finding my way. I was always just trying to find my way, and I wasn't getting anywhere. When she invited me to her wedding I, of course, agreed to go, but when she told me she loved me at the end of the night, the last of my heart broke. It seemed a fitting end to what had been a long downward spiral.

I left the hall where the ceremony was taking place and slipped out into the woods beyond, my back to my hopes and dreams. I should have let them go months earlier, but I'd held on to the unreasonable possibility that she might find some chink in his perfect armor and then maybe I would be good enough. It hadn't happened, of course, and maybe it was better that way.

At thirty years old my youth was gone and I was an adult by anyone's consideration. Somehow I'd managed to never grow up, though. I had never really wanted to, and perhaps that's why I was walking through the woods alone now. The moon shone down above, bright and clear, making it seem as though the forest was being lit by a silver version of the sun. It was magical in its way. I couldn't imagine a more beautiful evening on which to have lost my way.

I heard water running and followed the sound to a creek flowing swiftly with the recent spring thaw. I found a large flat rock and sat down heavily, tucking my tail around my legs, running my finger through the soft red fur. When I'd chosen to take on animal traits I'd known it would have to be a fox. I'd always considered them beautiful, but now I couldn't help but wish I'd chosen wolf. Maybe that would have made some difference.

It was a foolish line of thought. I'd always believed that second guessing the past was an exercise in futility that only the foolish undertook. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small four chambered revolver and sat it down on the rock in front of me, then I reached into the pocket on the other side of my jacket and pulled out the four bullets I'd brought with me. I laid them on the rock in front of me and looked at the items I'd brought with me. I'd planned to end up at this place from the beginning.

It wasn't all the fact that she didn't love me the way I loved her, that she would never love me that way, but that was perhaps the final push. Existence was pain. Finding pleasure from one moment to the next was increasingly difficult, and hope seemed like a dream lost in childhood. I didn't want to worry about what tomorrow may or may not bring. I didn't want to pretend that I was happy so that people would treat me like I was normal. So this was it. This was me giving up on trying to go further knowing that happiness wasn't meant for me.

I picked up the revolver and opened the chamber, sliding a bullet into each cylinder before I closed the mechanism.

"I don't want you to kill yourself in front of me." A woman's voice spoke from behind me and it startled me so badly I almost dropped the gun.

I hid the gun behind me, as though she hadn't already seen it, and then looked up at the person who'd disturbed my final moments. I didn't recognize her, though for a split second I'd hoped it might be . . . no, of course it wasn't. This was the happiest day of her life. She probably hadn't even noticed I'd left.

"No one is forcing you to stay." I told the newcomer. She was another wolf hybrid. This was a pack preserve, so that wasn't really surprising. She was dressed in a low cut gown, silky and blue, slit up one leg exposing a gray-furred thigh.

"I don't, but I wanted to sit by the creek for a little. Can you wait until I'm done?" She asked, and before I answered she was sitting down on the rock next to me.

"This is a long creek. I can go somewhere else." I said, making to get up and leave, but she put a hand on my shoulder to keep me from doing so.

"I'll just follow you again." She said.

I frowned, upset that my plans had been disturbed. "I'm not sure what you hope to accomplish. You followed me out here, didn't you?" I said, realizing that the odds of her having just randomly come across me seemed pretty slight.

"I did." She said, a soft smile on her lips.

"Why?" I asked, a tear slipping from my eye and running down one side of my face, born of something between frustration and unreasoning depression. I considered shooting myself even though she was right there.

"Because you looked sad." She answered, moving a little closer to me.

"I am." I answered. "Mostly, though, I'm just tired."

"I don't know, you look more sad than tired." She said, and then her hand was slipping around my shoulders and she was laying her head on my shoulder. "I've been sad and tired, and I'm pretty sure I can tell the difference."

A part of me wanted to draw away from her, but another part of me wanted to hold her back, and to not let go. I was conflicted, broken, on the verge of either bursting into tears or getting up and running away to finish what I'd started. "I can't think of any reason to live." I told her, the words breaking forth as though I'd been forcing them down inside me for too long.

"There were some really good pastries at the reception. They were worth living for. Also, this night is beautiful. It would be a shame to miss out on more of it." She said, her second hand coming up to rest on my chest.

I shook my head. "Those are just fleeting things, moments of pleasure that are impossible to cling on to. I don't know what to look forward to. I don't know what to dream of anymore."

"Then you're trying too hard." She replied. I felt her fingers behind me grab the gun in my hand and pull. On instinct I tried to tug it back, but she made a quiet shushing sound. "Give it to me. You don't really want it."

"I want to die." I told her.

"And I don't want you to die, so I suppose that means only one of us can get what we want. Would you deny a beautiful woman her way?" She said, a teasing smile on her lips.

"I . . ." I wasn't sure how to argue with her. She seemed to have an answer for everything I said.

"It doesn't cost you anything to give it to me." She said with a small shrug. "A moment of time that you have to keep living, a moment with me. That's not so bad, right?"

I wasn't sure how to reply, but my fingers loosened on the weapon. She pulled the gun from my hands and tossed it into a deep pool in the creek.

"Oops." She said, though the smile on her lips got brighter.

"You . . . that clearly wasn't an accident." I said, almost angry, until I heard how stupid the words sounded as I said them. I smiled, only a little, but it happened.

"Oh, look at you. You are quite handsome when you smile." She said, her golden eyes shining in the moon light.

"It will probably still work." I told her, looking at the pool.

"Maybe." She said with a nod, "But how about this, if you leave that gun in there for the night, I'll have sex with you here on these rocks, and afterwards, if when the sun comes up you still want the gun, you can have it."

I gave her an incredulous look. "What?"

She sat back from me and reached up to the straps on her dress which she pulled down, causing her top to fall down, revealing a set of pleasantly large breasts with dark nipples peeking through the gray fur on her chest. Below her top breasts were four smaller, less developed ones with equally dark nipples poking out. Some hybrids developed six breasts, though it was rare. "Aren't you even a little interested?" She asked.

"No . . . I'm . . ." I began to reply, but I could feel my cock sliding from its sheath, bulging against the fastenings on my pants.

She reached under the bottom of her dress and slipped off a pair of purple panties which she tossed away from her. "Not even just a bit?" She asked, getting on her hands and knees and crawling towards me. Her breasts hung in an inviting way, swinging beneath her as she moved closer, and her stance triggered an instinctual urge to breed that made my cock harden the rest of the way. "It looks like you're maybe a little interested."

"Yes." I replied, the word slipping between my lips before I could stop it.

She smiled then giggled. "Good." She reached forward and unhooked the clasp on my pants and then undid the zipper before reaching into my boxers and pulling my pulsating pink length free of their coverings. "Oh wow, that's nice." She leaned forward and gave it a lick, her warm tongue caressing the length of my shaft with a vigorous, deep stroke along its slick surface. I shuddered and leaned back onto my elbows, almost unable to believe what was happening, how quickly she'd taken me off my guard.

"You taste good too." She said, nuzzling against my shaft before nipping gently at the skin at its base. She slid up my body and ran her muzzle against mine. The moist place between her hips rubbed against me, then she shifted her hips backwards and the folds of her sex slid against the underside of my cock. "I'm going to get on top of this now." She said, reaching down between us to squeeze my member. "Alright?"

I nodded my reply, suddenly unable to speak, and she shifted her hips upward, putting my tip directly against her opening. She licked my muzzle and then backed onto me. She was tight. The sheath of her sex squeezed down around me as I entered her body so tightly that it felt like she had her fist locked around me, though it was soft, wet and slick. I let out a gasp of pleasure as she dropped all the way down onto me. She sighed and looked down at me with a pleased expression on her face.

"You're bigger than anyone I've been with." She said, and then she nuzzled into my neck and began to slide herself up and down my length in a deep, rolling rhythm. It felt amazing. I'd been with women before, but she was the first one who'd felt this good.

"Oh, you're amazing." I gasped, having trouble remembering what I'd been about to do as her tightness begged my body to release inside of her. I reached up to her tentatively and fondled her breasts, what I could reach of them from the sides. They were soft and supple against my hands, and she gave soft moans of pleasure as I slid my fingers through her fur and over her nipples.

She began to pick up her pace, and her breathing became ragged. "I'm going to cum." She whispered into my ear, and then I felt her teeth lock onto my shoulder as she rode my length. She moaned against my fur and her sex began to clench and unclench around me in a sporadic way. I knew she was peeking. It was like her body was actively working to steal my seed, but I wasn't quite ready to go yet. She finished cumming and slid off of me which caused me to gasp in distress, at least until she got on all fours and turned her backside to face me.

"Take me again." She said, and it sounded almost like a command. "Please, mount me from behind?" This one sounded a bit more pleading. Looking at her from the back, with her tail tilted to one side, her sex still open from our encounter, I couldn't resist her. I got to my knees and came up behind her. Restraint was difficult and I took her harder than I meant to. I desperately wanted her body now.

I slid back into her more easily than I had the first time, but she felt no less amazing. Before long I was taking her quickly as she moaned loudly into the night air, so loudly that I knew we could be heard for quite some distance. For some reason that thought didn't bother me at all. .

"Fuck me!" She gasped, pushing her sex back onto me with each inward press of my hips. We slapped together hard, my balls bouncing off of her clit with each thrust of my body. I wrapped my fingers in her tail and pulled on it, using it to give me extra purchase, and to drag her hard back against me.

It wasn't long and I knew I was about to lose myself inside of her. My knot slipped free of my sheath. I had a small moment of panic in which I wondered if I should pull out, but the moment was too intense. I wanted to cum inside of her. I let out a growl as I slammed myself deep in her sex. Her slick sheath began to throb and pull on my cock. She was cumming again. I kept thrusting as I emptied my semen inside of her, driving it into her as deep as I possibly could, my knot refusing to enter her tightness, but on one final thrust there was a pop and she let out a stifled yip as I vanished fully into her body.

My swollen cock was throbbing, and I was exhausted. I collapsed to the ground with her beneath me, and she rolled us a little so she could lay back against me. I didn't know what to do with my arms so I slid them around her. In this position we were both looking up at the sky.

"I'm Natia." She said, nuzzling the back of her head against me.

"I'm Evan." I said, and then added. "I'm sorry I knotted us without asking first."

Natia shrugged. "No, it's fine. I like being close. I'm sorry I didn't mention that I'm not on birth control. I guess you're really stuck living now. If I have pups, they're going to need a daddy."

I was far too stunned to think of a good response.