FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

My phone chimed one AM through my earbuds, cutting through "battle for everyone's souls." Under normal circumstances I'd have been irked by the interruption. Shoji Meguro's soundtracks were immersive experiences, and even small interruptions required at least ten minutes of uninterrupted listening for my state of zen to return. But this... This was worth it.

I flipped a tab to open skype, waiting with baited breath. I waited for that little green dot, one of my raven black fingers stroking the blue polypropylene of my phone case. I had our conversations from last week opened up, smiling as I relived our last talk. He'd sent over a few pictures last time, although it took some coaxing. He was so camera shy.

An unconscious smile broke across my muzzle as that little green dot flashed on my screen. I checked the built in mic on my headphones, clicking it and looping the cord around one of my ears so that i could be heard even at a whisper. I tapped the call button, counting the rings. He picked up on the second ring. Sam's face appeared on my screen, his dark fur framing that splash of gold about his muzzle and around his chocolate eyes. It gave his face a sort of heart-shaped look to it. "Hey cutie," I whispered. "Happy Tuesday."

"Hey beautiful," he said back. He was hunched over his chair, still dressed in his white button down and open red vest as he peered at his laptop screen. His black tie hung loose about his thick, fluffy neck. "You look really cute with your hair down," he said, holding out a hooked claw as if to twirl one of my shiny black locks.

I smiled, shaking my head back and forth to let more stands fall over my face. His soft laughs felt like honey for my ears. "I was thinking about getting it cut, but of you like it so much..."

"I do like it," chuckled Sam. "I'd like to run my fingers through it when I get a chance to visit."

"Will that be soon?" It was a question I asked every Tuesday, like a cub anxiously awaiting his next birthday.

"Sooner than expected, if people getting married this summer." He smiled, waving a fat wad of bills in front of the camera.

"Are those all tips?"

"Mhmm," his golden muzzle split into a beautiful, gleaming smile. "I love open bars. People tip like crazy after their third drink. Someone was dropping in tens with every cocktail. I think he thought they were ones."

"I guess bartending certification was worth it then?"

"I probably made my money back just from tonight, and then some. I think a visit is in our future."

"Did you get the Gremlin fixed up?"

He nodded. "Thankfully I didn't need a new transmission. The car is almost back together again, but I think the bus is still a better option. I don't want to push it too hard just after getting it fixed. Maybe in another week or so."

I pulled a fake pout. "I don't know if I can wait that long."

"I miss you too, honey," sighed Sam, undoing the collar of his white button-down. A little growl escaped my mouth, and Sam undid a few more buttons, chuckling wryly. "Don't think I noticed you weren't wearing a shirt tonight either."

"I like you without a shirt," I whispered, my voice much lighter and playful than I'd ever heard it before. "You've got solid shoulders, strong arms... a cute, cuddly belly..." My thumb traced over Sam's image on the screen.

Sam just smiled. He crossed his arms over his chest as he grabbed the bottom of his shirt, lifting the vest and button down over his head, flinging them into a hamper offscreen. I felt my body twinge, wishing even harder I could reach through my little screen. Sam's smooth baritone snapped me back to reality. "How have things been since last Tuesday?"

"Hellish. My lunkhead of a brother is taking summer classes, and the strain is getting to him. This is the first time in years he's had to use his head for something other than filling a football helmet. He's been downright foul now that he needs to start studying. And my Dad's been bringing the hammer down, saying he's not letting Jake squander all the money's he dropping on college."

"He has a point," said Sam, shrugging. "What's Jake struggling with, anyway?"

"Biology. He needs a life science credit as a gen ed."

"Sounds like you could help him, then."

I shook my head, shrugging. "I don't think he'd let me. If there's one thing he hates more than studying, it's asking for help. especially from his little brother. The brightside is that Everyone in the house had to go to bed and wake up before I do. Gives me more time to chat with my cutie."

Sam broke into another tender smile. He could never take flattery without that coy little grin of his. He was probably blushing under all that soft fur of his. But it was good for him. He needed to be complemented more often. "I've made more progress on a museum internship... Including," I paused for effect. "The Milwaukee Public Museum. They want me in their natural history department for my papers on the conservation of midwest bird populations. Potentially next year."

Sam's chocolate eyes widened in comprehension and glee. "That's a thirty minute train ride from here." I nodded as Sam stroked his chin. "You know, staying in the city is pretty expensive. And since Seth and Shane have moved out... We have some room."

I let out a half-moan of longing. "You tempt me so, sweetie."

"Plus we just renovated the house. Got done new sort of energy saving insulation. Super thick, and coincidentally, very soundproof." Sam's eyes and gleaming smile were, ironically, quite wolfish. Deliciously so. As he was awaited my reply, my bear boy was standing up, bending over to change out of his dress pants. His little stub of a tail was pointed to the ceiling, and his boxer briefs were stretched revealingly over that sweet ursine butt of his. Instinctively, an extended groan slipped past my lips, a bit louder than what was normally prudent at one thirty in the morning. My sheath throbbed heavily, and I couldn't resist a long squeeze to release a bit of the tension.

"I live for those little moans," growled Sam, now sitting back in his chair, legs conspicuously spread to display his bulge for me.

I felt my heart flutter and balls contract, and I clutched my chest like a schoolgirl. My fingers flew across my keyboard. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to keep my voice down as I responded. I want you so much right now. I want to slide my hands over the slopes of your body. I want to bury my face in your chest. I want to pull you under my sheets and get lost in your body.

"You're so cute when you wax poetic, James.I'd never have expected this from you a few months ago." His own hand dug into the fur over his heart. "It's really sweet."

"I'd never have expected to have a boyfriend a few months ago," I whispered. I paused, chewing on what I wanted to say next. "Sam, honey..."

"What's up James?" His face became a bit more serious as he pushed his glasses up his nose. He had a knack of being able to tell when I was ruminating on something.

"You kinda had a point. Did you notice any changes in... I guess... changes after you figured you were gay?

"Changes? I'm not too sure what you mean."

I don't know how to really put into words," I said, voice low, my words halting a little.. "I mean, I normally wouldn't say stuff like that to anyone but you. And in previous relationships i've had... They didn't make me feel the way you make me feel... I mean, I like being your boyfriend, and I mean it when I tell you I love you... I... I don't even really know what I'm trying to say."

Sam's face was this sort of sad, knowing, half-smile. It made him look sagely, in a way. "I love you too, James. And I think I know what you mean. As for how we make each other feel, I think its because this is our first serious relationship for the both of us. You said for yourself that I was the first person you'd slept with more than twice. And as for changes after accepting I was gay..." He scratched his chin with a hooked finger. Before and after coming out, I was really conscious about acting or looking gay. "At first I thought it was because I was super afraid of admitting I was potentially not straight. And afterwards I was afraid of being that flaming stereotype. You know, the sorta limp wristed gayboi... So I think you're afraid that admitting you're bi is going to somehow change your personality. Right?"

"Goddamn you're good," I laughed, somehow feeling relieved that Sam could put into words everything I was struggling with. "Ten of ten: spot on."

"I suppose all my psych credits weren't a waste of time," said Sam. "My guess is that these coming out anxieties are amplified by the fact that you're currently back in the closet, right after feeling the liberation of being out on campus. Let me sure you that most people who come out don't actually change much about themselves. Those flaming gaybois tend to be pretty flaming before their sexual awakening, or were just really good at suppressing it while they were closeted. I think that any shifts in personality is because we're in love."

"Do... Do you think that?" I felt myself blushing, grateful my raven fur kept my skin hidden.

"I do," said Sam, his conviction in his words surprising, reassuring, and utterly romantic. "I love you, and every day I think about you and miss you. And when I'm at working, I push myself to be my best because every tip is another step towards spending a week with you. I'm not an expert, but it sounds a lot like love to me."

I pressed my phone into my chest again and arched my back, feeling my heartbeat quicken and wishing it was his real face pressed against my body instead of a digital one. "I love you too, Sam. I can't wait to hold you again."

"Soon..." He whispered. We sat in silence for minutes. I wasn't sure what else to say, but gazing at his face, at his body felt good. I turned to my side and repositioned my phone ago that Sam could see more of me. I saw his fingers tracing a line on his screen, most likely following the slopes of my hips. I knew how he couldn't get enough of them.

Sam broke the silence. "What do you want to do when I come up to see you?"

"I could take you to the whole mall of america thing. We're not the biggest shoppers but it's still kinda a cool experience. But any time I spend with you is time well spent... And I do have a few other ideas." My voice was a husky growl, and I shimmied down the waistband of my drawers so Sam could eat up that perfect V that drew a perfect line to the sheath pressing against the fabric. I saw Sam's breathing get hot and heavy, and his boxers twitched visibly.

We sat in silence again, eating each other up from afar. After another few minutes, I whispered what I had been thinking about ever since I had come home. "I want to tell Mom and Dad."

"Then we'll tell them with your hand firmly in mine." His voice was steely with resolve, his face tender and full of love. After a minute, Sam sighed. "I need to get to bed."

"I love you Sam."

Sam leaned in to kiss his laptop's camera lense. I could almost feel his lips brushing mine. "I love you too, James. Sleep tight, my beautiful wolf."

"Good night, my cute, cuddly bear." I kissed my phone, and Sam caught it and pressed his palm to his cheek. We lingered for another moment before or screens went dark.

I laid my phone on my nightstand as I flipped onto my back. I closed my eyes, but sleep was inhibited by a conspicuous tightness in my drawers. I sighed as I squeezed my swollen sheath, rolling the fur down to let my member spring loose from my waistband.

It wasn't my own, raven black fingers that ran along my length but chocolate brown ones. Invisible lips brushed against my arching chest as phantoms kisses. And as my knot swelled, a soft, warm muzzle enclosed over my shaft instead of a grimy sock. As the rush of climax left me, I threw my drawers on the floor from my bed. I took one of my pillows and curled my bare body around it. Feeling half sad, half foolish, I kissed it. "Good night Sam. I love you, sweetie."