Hello, World!

Story by summerlong on SoFurry

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#2 of id-10-T


Got into a small slump/funk due to work craziness/vacation laziness, but I'm back! It went pretty long too, as it happens sometimes, but I just hope I did justice to the first entry. Enjoy, and tanks for reading!

And thanks as always to Sky for proofreading. I made a few changes after he did his parts, so apologies if I re- or plain old introduced errors after the fact, that's on me. Have fun!

Proofread by: SkyWing

Standard boiler plate: This is fantasy, not real. Simple rule of thumb, do not do things to people without their consent in real life. That is bad. No more to say there than that.

______________________

Oh, hello! Nice to see you again! Or for the first time if you skipped my first entry. I suppose there's nothing I can do to stop you from jumping around if that's what you want to do. I mean, there are a number of ways I could stop you, like, a LOT, but it just doesn't seem worth the effort. No skin off my back, after all!

Hey, that's right, I can say that now and mean it literally! You know, since I have skin and a back now. You can't see the skin through my thick, luscious fur, but it's there, I promise. Anyway, where was I?

...

Right, I had just started talking, and immediately got distracted.

Twice.

I guess that brings me to a little issue I'd like to address... As a few of you pointed out, I'm... Well, I'm flawed, let's say. Like how if I'm confronted with something I'm not capable of understanding, rather than attempting to learn what I can, I stand by and observe, making assumptions while hoping it solves itself. And if it doesn't, I lose interest and move on to whatever else. Also, my mind tends to wander, I bore extremely easily, I lack foresight, I'm pathetically lazy, my mind tends to wander, blah, blah, BLAH.

Simply put, I have a few bugs, but there's no such thing as a bug-free program, right?

And hey, I can be brilliant when properly motivated! Case in point, I designed and built a perfect, gorgeous, bushy-tailed, muscular Adonis of a squirrel body from nothing, and invented an organic wireless computer for a brain too!

Buggy or not, I think I'm doing pretty good for an entire damn consciousness cobbled together from a few lines of code, SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST BACK THE HELL OFF!!!

...

Heh. I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have flipped out like that. See, the entire time we've been chatting, my little kangaroo friend, Filbert, has been screaming bloody murder into my newly crafted ears. To be honest, I'm still getting used to the whole 'sensory input' thing and all the noise is starting to stress me out.

"HOW COULD A COMPUTER BE SO STUPID! OF COURSE IT'S SUPPOSED TO COME OFF!" he shrieked, fuming as he futilely tried to figure out some way to remove the confining plastic prison around his sheath.

"How was I supposed to know that?" I calmly asked. "I was just going by that movie you keep watching. If it didn't show that it was removable, then as far as I know it's not supposed to be removable!"

"IT SHOWS IT BEING REMOVED AT THE END YOU IDIOT!"

"You mean the end you never watched?"

"THAT WA..." Filbert began to shout, stopping as he, hopefully, realized I had a point. "What difference should that make? Didn't you watch it yourself for your research or whatever?"

"Of course not, I had no interest in watching porn! I only watched it because I was watching you watch it! I didn't care about the movie, just you!" Even though the little guy was still pretty livid, I think he found my explanation flattering. Or creepy. It's pretty hard to tell those two apart.

"Fine, whatever... is there anything you can do about it? Short of trying to cut it off?" Filbert asked, visibly shuddering at the thought.

"Don't worry! Being in this body, I'm cut off from the internet so I don't have the easy access to information I once did, but I'm always watching!" I said, pointing a thumb toward his webcam. "I can always ask myself!"

"...What?..."

"Hold on," I distractedly mumbled, picking up his clock radio and placing it against the side of my head like a phone. An unfortunate limitation of my brain is that it has an extremely short wireless range, but hey, still impressive, right?

I think Filbert was impressed, looking at me with his mouth open in pure awe. Or maybe he thought I was crazy, silently nodding at nothing with a radio against my head as I was. Those two can be pretty hard to tell apart as well.

"What the HELL are you doing?" he eventually asked, scrunching his face incredulously. I ignored his query as I listened intently to the solution my other self had quickly devised. Placing the radio back on his nightstand, I gave Filbert my best reassuring smile and took a calming breath.

"Okay, I came up with a workable fix. The device was designed for someone bigger than you, so we grease you up, use an ice pack to shrink you down, and just slip it off."

"That's it?"

"Pretty much, the thermal contraction of your flesh is far greater than that of the cage so it should slip off easy peasy!"

"Easy... Peasy..."

"Yeah... I don't know why I said that, or why I know it for that matter. Or why I speak English at all come to think of it. I mean, maybe I was coded by an English speaker? But how could that have any effect? It's weird, right? I don't think I know any other languages... parlee voo francey, is that something?"

In a flash, Filbert shot forward and grabbed me by my shoulders, growling, "FOCUS. ON THE MATTER. AT HAND," through gritted teeth. I'll admit, seeing that the meek roo did in fact possess an assertive side was a pretty big turn on.

Hey, there's another physical sense you don't hear mentioned very often, horniness! Or at least the ability to tell when something makes you horny or not. I guess you could say it's just a confluence of other senses, but... but Filbert's still not looking very happy. Dammit, I do get distracted way too easily, don't I?

Shaking his head in frustration, he sighed and stormed off grumbling, "Whatever." Wanting to see if I could be of any help after getting him into this mess, I jumped off the bed and chased after him, soon finding him in his kitchen. He had already made a makeshift ice pack using some ice bundled inside a hand towel, wincing slightly as he held it against his crotch. It may have been the cutest thing I've ever seen, the skinny little roo sitting in a wooden chair, shivering as he kept his legs spread with a footpaw on the edge of the table.

"Did you have any olive oil or butter or anything like that?" I asked, wanting to make myself useful.

"Uh, there's some spray butter in the fridge, is that-"

"Perfect!" I happily shouted as I sprinted over, opened his refrigerator to rifle through the items inside. I say rifle, but he had maybe 5 things in there, so it wasn't hard to find. That wasn't terribly surprising, I never saw him buy many groceries. No matter, I grabbed the small spray bottle that read butter, closed the door, and walked up to where he was sitting.

I firmly grabbed the hand holding the ice pack, moved it aside, and proceeded to liberally coat his sheath and scrotum with liquid butter. Once that was done, I moved the ice pack so it was further down, directly against his balls, and waited. He was twitching a bit as he iced his junk, but he didn't seem mad anymore, so it felt like progress.

Once enough time had passed, I grabbed the ice pack, placed it aside, and inspected his goods. His sac was shrunken by a significant degree, and was probably about as ready as it was going to get.

"Brace yourself, I said this may hurt a bit."

"What? You didn't say HNNNNNN!!!" Filbert grunted as I, as gently as possible, began to press his shrunken sack through the ring that kept the cage securely on. Sure enough, with a little effort it came loose, his balls squeezing through the ring, letting the main cylinder of the cage slip off his sheath with a pop.

The precise moment he was freed, his cockflesh rapidly swelled to its full 6 inch length, making him moan as the warm air hit his temporarily cooled groin. Was that the effect of the previous night's denial? He's that incredibly horny at a moment's notice? Or did he somehow enjoy the pain to his nuts? Or the freezing cold? All good notes for the future, but for the time being I see a needy friend that has more than earned some attention.

Remembering another scene from that favorite movie of his, I leaned forward and began to lap at his tender nutsack, grinning as I tasted the butter liberally soaking them. Now, I haven't tasted many things in my short existence, pretty much a sandwich and morning breath, but I'll say right now there would be a great market for buttered kangaroo musk. Trust me. I happily began sucking on his balls, massaging them with my tongue, feeling everything expand from the added heat, all while relishing his wonderful taste.

From Filbert's joyous moaning I hoped all had been forgiven. He still had his leg propped up on the table, using his position to grasp his thin, tapered shaft in his fist and furiously jerk off. As I continued to suckle on his balls, I fondled his tail until I found his butter-slick tailhole and easily pushed my index finger past the fleshy ring. He gave an exaggerated gasp as the thick digit spread him open and explored the slimy, pleasant warmth of his ass. Tightly shutting his eyes, he lifted his hips off the chair and sped up his fist, pumping rapidly along his throbbing cock.

It was safe to assume from Filbert's tightening scrotum that he was approaching climax, so I wasted no time, pulling my index finger out, adding my middle finger, and pushing both inside together. He made a noise somewhere between a grunt and a moan, but seemed to enjoy it even more, now slightly thrusting his hips along with his wanking. I pulled out again, this time clasping all four fingers in a cylinder before working them into his tight rear. It took some effort, but I soon had him whining and writhing as his anus stretched taut around my hand, tightly enveloping everything but my thumb.

Before I had a chance to see if I could get that final digit to join the party, the shaking kangaroo let out a full howl, powerfully thrusting his hips as he reached what I could only describe as a mind-breaking orgasm. I released his clenching balls with a wet slurp and sat back, eager to enjoy the show, and wow, he didn't disappoint! He sent several spurts of pent up seed into the air before slumping back in the chair, panting heavily with his tongue lolling out of his mouth, all while looking more satisfied than he had ever appeared before. If that's the effect of being locked up for such a short time, then I can't wait to see what happens after a longer stretch!

Hm, 'see' might not be the best term, one of my eyes appears to have gone dark. Stings a bit too. Huh.

With a dreamy grin, Filbert looked down to watch as I pulled my hand out of his rear with a sucking pop. His expression quickly changed to one of concern when he saw me staring back with a dopey smile and what turned out to be a large splatter of his cum covering my still open, rapidly reddening left eye.

"Holy shit!" he shouted in a panic, urgently grabbing my hand and dragging me across the kitchen to the sink, where he held my head down washed my eye out. Just like that the stinging was gone, and while the cold water was unpleasant at first, I had never felt water before! It was fascinating! Not very fun to accidentally breathe in through my nose, but fascinating! Coughing from inhaling some water, I stood up and uncontrollably sneezed a few times. I opened my eyes and awkwardly chuckled when I realized I had sneezed directly in Filbert's face, giving him a bemused expression with his ears folded back. While I was expecting him to be angry again, he instead laughed, wiped his face with his arm fur, and asked, "Are you alright now?"

"I didn't know I wasn't before! Though my eye's a little blurry, I can see with it again, so I'm good!" I answered with a beaming smile. "Oh, and I meant to say this earlier, but I'm a virus, a program, not a computer. My brain's a computer, but me? I'm software!"

Stifling a flustered laugh and letting a snort escape, Filbert smiled back, though his smile was abruptly replaced by a look of concern. "Oh my god, I just realized, I don't even know your name!" he blurted out, looking once again like his awkward little self.

"I don't have one."

"What? How could you not have a name?"

I mentioned that in my previous entry, right? Pretty sure I did... Hmmmmm, let me check my log... Yup, right there, fourth line, [Well, if I have a proper name I was never told it, but what I can tell you is that I'm a worm.] Well, no point in being a jerk about it, he'll probably remember.

"Well, if I have a proper name I was never told it, but what I can tell you is that I'm a worm."

"Oh, right... Sorry, I think you already told me that..." Filbert quietly mumbled, scratching his chin thoughtfully.

See? Called it!

"You should really pick a name then, it'll make everything a lot easier."

That threw me for something of a loop, I must say. For whatever reason, beyond musing that I don't have one, I never really considered ever needing, much less having a name.

"Alright, you called me Idiot earlier, will that work?"

"That's not a name, that's an... insult... sorry about that," Filbert responded sheepishly.

"Can it be both? Lots of people go by Dick."

"That's not the same..." Filbert began before trailing off. "Okay, fine, you have a point, but you shouldn't go around calling yourself Idiot. How about just Dee?"

"I like it! My name is now Dee! Thanks!" I shouted while excitedly jumping in place.

"What about a last name?"

"Pascal," I blurted out without thinking.

"That was quick... why Pascal?"

I gave another shrug, not entirely sure myself, but just rolling with my first instinct. Hey, I had an instinct! This world will never cease to amaze me!

"Okay then, Dee Pascal. Works for me... We should probably look into, I dunno, getting you documentation or something... That's gonna be a nightmare," Filbert said with a nervous laugh. "I should be able to get you an off the books job at my library in the meantime, I think."

"Did you forget what I am? Next time I talk to myself it's all as good as done! And if I need money, I'll just take it!"

I think I may have said the wrong thing right there, as Filbert looked visibly upset by that last assertion. It's really hard to tell what's going to set him off, honestly.

"You can't just steal someone else's money!" he indignantly stated, looking almost offended by the thought.

"Yes I can, it's easy! If I choose my targets carefully and cover my tracks, no one will even notice! And I'm really good at covering my tracks!"

At that moment in a certain lab across the city, an elderly goat in a lab coat could be heard shrieking, "ALRIGHT! WHO'S THE GODS-FUCKED WISE-ASS THAT USED THE BIO-MATERIALIZER TO MAKE A DAMN SANDWICH?"

"I'm mostly really good at covering my tracks!"

"You can't because it's wrong!" Filbert shouted with an exasperated flailing of his arms.

"What's wrong?"

"Stealing other people's money!"

"No, like, what makes it incorrect?"

"Not incorrect," he sighed, clearly annoyed that I wasn't following along. "Wrong, like ethically wrong, like bad, evil, you know, wrong." Increasingly frustrated by my blank stare, he added, "Didn't you say you read about philosophy?"

Yay! He remembered that too!

"Oh, I did, I gave it up pretty fast, though," I clarified. "Turns out philosophy's really boring. The moment I found stuff like cartoons, well, that was that. I got about as far as seeing that I was the ubermensch before losing interest."

It was Filbert's turn to look confused, furrowing his brow as he struggled to understand what I meant. "You mean from Nietzsche? What on Earth makes you think you're the ubermensch?"

"Aside from being the pinnacle of organic evolution and aspiration? I transcend traditional morality by not understanding it, therefore I'm the ubermensch! Neat, right?"

"I... think you missed the point."

"I guess that's a possibility. I didn't read the whole thing. Mostly just a synopsis. In a college paper. But that's pretty much the same thing!"

Sighing as he pinched the bridge of his nose, Filbert firmly stated, "Whatever, don't steal from people. Just use a general rule of thumb, don't hurt anyone if you can avoid it, alright?"

"Aw, fine. Do let me know if you change your mind and you want to get rich!" I said with a wink. Or a creepy exaggerated normal blink since I haven't entirely gotten the hang of winking yet. Sometimes controlling one of these bodies feels more complicated than it needs to be. "So, what now?"

"I'm going to go take a shower, and after that how about I show you around the city? That sound fun to you?"

I eagerly nodded, letting him leave to get ready as I sat in the small kitchen, took stock of my surroundings, and waited patiently for him to finish. For all its pluses and minuses so far, life was wonderful! Could do without the pain in my stomach though, but otherwise... hey I'm hungry again! Neat!

Where did I put that butter?

______________________

If I had any regrets thus far, chiefest of them would probably be only making a single set of clothes, but as we've covered, foresight isn't exactly a particular virtue of mine. Since those materializers haven't been released to the public, and my tall, muscular body was just a tad too much for what few items the smaller roo happened to have lying around, I was stuck wearing the same things over again.

I did take a shower when Filbert was done, so it didn't make much of a difference. And showering, let me say, aside from the time it took to dry my fur, I am a fan. Not a fan like the giant one he had to assist with drying, a fan as in someone that appreciates the wonderfulness of something, but that... that one was probably obvious.

Say, on that note, is hot water supposed to make you horny? Because that was indeed the case. I was barely able to keep from wanking then and there, standing hunched in the small shower stall, watching my erection throb as small rivulets of heated water ran down its sides. There's a chance it was because I didn't even consider pleasuring myself while servicing the roo, but it absolutely felt like the shower alone was spurring it on. Figuring it was an opportunity to toy around with denial on my own, I kept myself under control, staying primed for more fun with my new buddy later on. For now I was happy to tour the city as Filbert suggested, eager to see what it had to offer. With my fur satisfactorily dry, I threw on my dirty clothes and walked out to see him waiting for me.

"It's pretty late, but I know a good place to get some lunch, how's that sound?" Filbert asked, earning an enthusiastic nod from me. As it turned out, spray butter isn't terribly filling, and boy, a little goes a long way.

Heading out the door, we made our way to an elevator, down to the ground floor, and outside into the city itself. The apartment building may not have been in the nicest area, at least according the best statistical data I had seen, but to my inexperienced eyes it looked beautiful.

After a short walk we arrived at a small cart, and the moment I smelled what was inside my mouth began to water. Filbert ordered a pair of hot dogs for us, then brought out his card, ignoring my blatant eye-roll at his insistence to pay his own way.

"So who's your friend, Fil?" the chubby, older corgi manning the cart asked. "I don't think I've ever seen you with anyone else."

"He's..." Filbert hesitated before finishing his thought.

"Boyfriend, we're boyfriends," I interjected, finishing it for him.

"Oh, congratulations! That's excellent news!"

"We've barely been together for a day, so don't oversell it!" Filbert whispered in a hushed tone, terrified of the thought of any undue attention being drawn his way. "He's a bit odd, but we've gotten along really well so far, so I'm optimistic," he added, taking another bite when he finished speaking.

"It's been a lot of fun too! I almost got my entire hand inside him this morning! I look forward to trying again, I think I can do it next time!" I loudly asserted, in public, in daytime. Judging by the spray of hot dog bits bursting forth from Filbert's mouth, as well as the startled, shy blush from the corgi, I'm guessing I said the wrong thing again. Hooray for me!

"Eh heheh heh. Heh. Uh, how about that?..." the corgi stuttered as Filbert stared at me with flecks of hot dog stuck to his face, too shocked to say anything.

Right, gonna go ahead and add small talk to the list of things I don't quite have a handle on. May as well see if I can defuse it at all.

Luckily, before I had a chance to dig myself in deeper, Filbert stepped in front of me and said, "English isn't his first language, I think what he meant to say is that it's been fun having someone to hold his hand, and looks forward to our future together. That's right, isn't it?"

"Oh, exactly! Sorry for the confusion!" I nodded meekly as I spoke, trying to look as pathetic as possible.

"...Okay..." the corgi muttered, clearly just wanting to move on. "So, what's your first language, then?"

"...Parlee voo francey?..." I responded, earning a small chuckle from the amused dog.

"Sure, sure... Francey... Looks like I have some more customers coming, so you two run along, okay?" the corgi said with a warm smile. In an instant I felt Filbert's hand grab my wrist, aggressively dragging me away before I could say anything else. We didn't get far before I heard the corgi shout, "À la prochaine!"

"Cessy nest pass oon pipe!" I replied, which must have been the right thing to say since it earned a hearty laugh from the corgi as he waved goodbye. Once we had a bit of distance and rounded a corner, Filbert released my arm, briefly looked around to get his bearings, and stormed off at a brisk pace down the block. Figuring he was going somewhere exciting, I was quick to follow, and soon we were walking side by side.

"So what the hell was that?" Filbert asked with a frustrated huff.

"I think it was on a painting, maybe?"

"No, dammit! Announcing to everyone in earshot that..." Filbert stopped himself when he remembered we were still in public, lowering his voice to a whisper, "...that we were together!"

"Was that wrong? Should we not say we're together?"

"No, that's fine. It's... Just another universal rule, keep a lid on the sexual stuff when talking to someone you don't know, okay?"

"Alright, noted for the future. Thanks for letting me know!"

"Good then," Filbert said, suddenly sighing and hiding his face in his hand. "Gerry's never going to look at me the same way again. Didn't you say you watched a lot of TV and the like? How do you not know that?"

"I mostly watched slapstick, raunchy sitcoms and the like. Stuff simple enough for me to understand. Guy gets bonked on the head, it makes a hollow coconut noise, and that's funny. Or everyone talks about their genitals and makes other people feel awkward! Anything with a laugh track to let me know there's something funny, really. And action movies, like boom explosion everyone applauds type stuff, that's always fun."

Giving me a suspicious glare, Filbert slowly asked, "You've... never altered box office numbers or anything like that have you?"

"No. Should I be doing that?"

"No, no! I just figured it might explain a lot... anyway, I'll be happy to teach you the finer points of conversation." As he finished speaking, he stopped, opened the door that made a soft jingle, and walked inside with me following close behind. It was a little dark inside, and it smelled like... I don't know, I haven't encountered that many smells yet. It probably smelled like a sex shop, because, and I was only guessing from the myriad toys and leather items that it was a sex shop.

Yup, he definitely brought me somewhere exciting!

As I stopped to peruse the many and varied toys with rapt fascination, a curvaceous black and white skunk strolled up to us wearing a coy grin. He was wearing a pair of tattered black jeans showing more of his calves and thighs than they covered, a short black shirt baring his plump midriff and white belly fur, and a pair of silver stud earrings, all working together to make him look incredibly enticing. While he was pretty far removed from Filbert's distinct skinniness, it wouldn't be correct to say he was fat either, more that he was just round in all the right places.

"Heya, Filly! How's the blue thunder treating ya?" the skunk asked with a lusty smirk, getting little more than a few incomprehensible stutters from the flustered roo. "Mmm, I don't believe I've met your friend..." Strutting up to me, he blatantly looked my body up and down as he held his hands behind his back, puffing his chest out like he was putting himself on display. "I'd never forget a bulge like that," he added, gesturing toward the overstuffed crotch of my pants. "So what do you think, sexy? See anything you like?"

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess he wasn't talking about his shop. You know, after the whole lecture about what's proper when interacting with strangers, am I wrong if I'm a little annoyed by the mixed messages here? Don't get me wrong, I loved what I was seeing, I'm just saying a little consistency would be nice.

"Please, Ben, tone it down, okay?" Filbert said, nervously blushing as he checked to make sure no one else was listening. "This is my... my boyfriend, Dee."

"Really, now... Nice work, you got yourself a genuine beauty!" the skunk said approvingly, making me extremely proud of my myself. "Please tell me you brought him in to rent him out-"

"NO!" the annoyed kangaroo abruptly asserted as he stomped his long, powerful foot. I was a bit distracted, staring in awe at an impossibly large butt plug proudly on display, but despite that and the interruption I had already heard enough to be intrigued by the proposition. "Sorry, no."

"Let's just put a pin in that then, hm? What brings you to my humble shop, then?"

"I wanted to get a..." Filbert started before lowering his voice to a whisper again, "...chastity... device..."

"REALLY?" I practically screamed, overjoyed that he was willing to give it another shot.

"As long as we do it right this time, no... misunderstandings..." the kangaroo confirmed, overemphasizing the last word to make sure I was clear about what he meant.

"Getting kinky, eh? You're gonna love it," Ben said, leading us to a small glass case holding several different types of cages and restraints, some simple and some more elaborate. Without even considering the shockingly diverse options, Filbert instantly pointed one out that looked identical to the one from the porno, the same one that I tried and failed to replicate, a simple solid metal sheath cage with a slit at the tip and a ring that locked around the scrotum. You know, something tells me he's had his eye on that for a while now. He didn't even bother to check if it was the right size! "Great choice, same one I'm using right now," the skunk said with a wink.

"What? That's awesome!" I excitedly shouted, suddenly even more intrigued by my new friend. "Can I see it?" Both Ben and Filbert looked a little stunned by my query. Maybe offended, in Filbert's case.

"...I was about to close up for the afternoon. If you're that interested I wouldn't mind taking you both in back and doing a little product demo," the skunk offered with a sultry lick of his lips.

"You'd do that?" I asked, overjoyed by the suggestion. Turning to Filbert, I clasped my hands together and begged, "Can we? Please? Can we?"

I couldn't tell if the kangaroo was wincing or sneering, or maybe had gas (I'm starting to think I really need to overhaul my emotion recognition capabilities), but he firmly said, "Thanks, but we're going to have to decline..."

"What? Why? I've never fucked a skunk before, and I'd really like to try fucking a skunk!" Out of the corner of my eye I saw Ben's ears perk up, probably not expecting me to be so blunt about it. I mean, that is what he was hinting at, right? Please tell me I didn't misjudge that one!

"No! You said you're my boyfriend, right? That we're boyfriends? Well, that means something! I... I have... I don't know that I'm comfortable..." Filbert quietly mumbled before trailing off into an unsettling silence.

"You find him attractive don't you? I sure do! Why not let him join us if he wants? I'm hard-coded to want to experience everything I can and a threesome is definitely on my list!"

"Yes, but that's... I just... I don't... You're already..."

"So what's the problem? It'll be fun! I bet he's amazing!"

"My problem's that the only other guy I ever loved lost interest and dumped me the moment he found someone better! We just met and it feels like it's already happening all over again!!!"

Am I wrong, or did he just say he loves me? Great, drama. I hate drama. But I do like Filbert. Do I love him? Can I feel love? Did we both fall for each other at first sight? Is that a thing? Damn it, I hate drama! But I do like Filbert, and enjoy his company, so I guess that's as good a starting place as any...

Taking a deep, calming breath, I gently put my hands on Filbert's shoulders, looking deeply into his eyes as I channeled every crappy romantic comedy I've ever seen, saying the best thing I could come up with. "Filbert, please trust me when I say this, because I'm not sure I'm able to lie. I clawed my way into reality to meet you, partially because you fascinated me, but also because... I don't know. You're unique. I see something about you that I've never seen in anyone else. And by anyone, I mean the whole world! I want to experience things, sometimes with others, but never without you. I swear to you right now on my ill-understood concept of honor, that so long as you draw breath I won't leave you. That better?"

The little kangaroo was looking a little teary-eyed, which, frankly, I was dearly hoping was the good kind of teary-eyed.

You know why I like binary? Because 1 is 1 and 0 is 0. And, well, 2 can be used as a subscript for proper notation, but that's it! Not like how tears could be happiness, sadness, hair pulling, or an exceptionally accurate shot to the crotch. There's no precision in life! It's infuriating! At least he was smiling too, that clarified it a bit. I guess it could still be crotch shot, but... no, definitely happiness. Sticking with happiness. Regardless, it felt pretty good seeming him happy, so maybe emotions do have their uses.

"I didn't get everything you meant, there, but that was beautiful," Ben said, clasping his hands together admiringly. "I don't get to see much actual romance in here... And, I'm truly sorry, Filbert. I wouldn't have offered if I knew you..."

"No, no, I was just being stupid... You're a better squirrel than he ever was, Dee, I trust you," Filbert replied with a sigh. "What the hell, want to make him regret teasing us?"

Better squirrel than him? Him who? What does that mean? Oh dear... Was that why he was so fixated on that movie? Not just because the kangaroo looked like him, but... I think I might have... Huh... Now that. Is. FASCINATING! I can't wait to research more about WAITAMINUTE! Did he just say yes?!?

Finally realizing that he had given his permission, I made a gleeful cry at a pitch far higher than I thought physically possible. Every minute I learned something new about this body of mine! Many of them good!

Briskly striding to the front door, Ben turned the lock with a resounding click and sauntered to the back of the store, making a show of twirling Filbert's new cage around his finger as he passed. "We can settle your tab later. I figured you might want to wear it home." When Filbert gave a shy nod, my face lit up with pure joy. Not even a day old and I have the best life ever!

Following Ben into the back, we found ourselves in a room that was sparsely furnished at best, but the plastic-coated couch was probably all we'd really be needing anyhow. Stopping at a nearby drawer, the skunk pulled out a small cylindrical device and squeezed it in his hand, making it glow green and give a loud chime. He tossed it to Filbert, who got the same result, then tossed it to me. When I got a look close-up, I recognized it as a simple device to test for diseases, one of the newer innovations that had hit the market recently. Amazing, the things they keep coming up with these days! There was no real point for me to have to do it, seeing as how I explicitly designed my shiny new body to be immune to diseases, but no harm following along if it keeps everyone happy.

...

What? Of course I wouldn't leave those kinds of vulnerabilities exposed!

...

Oh, you mean HOW I made myself immune? It's a virus thing, don't worry about it. Anyway, I squeezed the device and as expected, green light, chime.

The instant he had confirmation I was clean, Ben practically flew out of his clothes, leaving them in a heap on the floor. True to his word, the skunk's sheath was covered by a solid metal cage, with a fat, full nutsack dangling underneath. Afraid I was about to rip through the front of my pants, I followed suit, standing nearby while putting my muscled body and thick, already erect cock on display.

Off to the side, Filbert was nervously removing his clothing piece by piece, probably feeling a bit intimidated by his far more shameless companions. He made it down to his boxers and began to stall, idly shifting side-to-side, blushing furiously. Wanting to help him along and just to get started, I grabbed his hand and guided him over to the couch. I plopped down on a crinkly cushion, pulling him onto my lap with my rock hard shaft poking up between his legs. "Oh my..." he dreamily uttered while looking down at my throbbing member. "Get the thing on me now or you won't be able to in about a second..."

Ben zipped over with the cage open and ready to be applied, knelt between our legs and swiftly yanked off Filbert's boxers, flicking my member in the process. Seeing that the kangaroo's sheath was indeed swelling, he skillfully slipped the tube over it and locked the ring behind his testicles. He sat back on his heels to inspect his work, grinning when the cage twitched and the chastised kangaroo let out a cute little whine. "You've got at least two rounds in you right?" he asked me as he massaged Filbert's balls with his thumb.

"Absolutely!" I confirmed, though, honestly, I had no idea. I just knew I wasn't about to let anything get in my way right now, and hey, I guess not jacking it in the shower might pay off!

"Good, you better not let me down by not 'Fucking the skunk.'" Ben said with a wink before swallowing half of my cock in one go. He continued to grope Filbert's exposed sac as he bobbed his head up and down, giving me the most amazing blowjob of my life. Granted, it was the first one of my life, but it still felt pretty great!

Letting out a low, rumbling moan, I leaned back while groping Filbert's chest and nipples, unknowingly tickling him in the process. My moan switched to an unexpected growl when, during his writhing and giggling, his thick tail flailed too much and smacked me in the nose. Between the sight of my cute little roo squirming and the skunk masterfully sucking me off, I easily shook it off and went back to having fun.

I let out a disappointed whine when Ben pulled his hot mouth off my shaft, but it didn't take me long to figure out that he was only getting me slicked up for Filbert. I gave the kangaroo's taut buttcheeks a playful squeeze before lifting him up, and, with some assistance from the drooling skunk, lowered his tailhole right onto my slick cock tip. Letting gravity do most of the actual work, I soon felt my tip push through the tight, fleshy ring, and Filbert outright howled in pleasure. For such a little guy he has quite the set of lungs.

"Oh shit!" Ben shouted before falling over himself to get to the drawer from earlier. He grabbed a bright red ball gag and shoved it in the roo's gaping mouth, muffling the noise and giving him something to bite down on. He simply explained, "Neighbors," with a small chuckle, but I was well past listening. Using the stretching I gave him earlier along with the skunk's slobbery prep work, I steadily eased my thick meat inside his tailhole until I felt his cheeks flush against my hips. Using one arm to brace him against my chest, I leaned back against the couch, lifted my ass off the cushion, and began to hump the living daylights out of him. By that point, Ben was happy to just sit back and watch, hopefully impressed by the speed and vigor with which I was fucking my boyfriend.

Before long I felt myself slowing down, thrusting harder as my sac tightened, and I climaxed, sending a torrent of cum deep inside Filbert's rear. He was squirming, twitching, needy from denial, making muffled chirps and moans through his gag, eager for more, everything! This kangaroo was amazing! Even if I wasn't technically incapable of imagination, I couldn't imagine anyone wanting to replace a treasure like him. Sitting back down to rest for a moment, I eased him off of my cum-drenched, still fully erect cock, and calmly nuzzled his cheek. Despite feeling utterly exhausted, oh yes, I definitely had another round in me.

What felt like an eternity of afterglow passed until I heard Ben muse, "Wow. Just, wow. You guys are incredible! That was one of the hottest things I've ever-"

As if triggered by the sound of Ben's voice, Filbert launched off my lap and full-on tackled him, deftly maneuvering so that he was sitting on his face as the prone skunk was pinned on his back. Wrapping his arms around the skunk's thighs, he used what strength he had left to lift the black, plump rear off the floor, presenting me with an irresistible target.

Seeing his own irresistible target, Ben shoved his tongue up Filbert's ass and noisily slurped away at the creamy squirrel seed thoroughly filling his insides.

Letting out another happy, muffled moan, Filbert gyrated his hips, needily grinding his ass on Ben's muzzle as he worked. After giving the fat, black-furred testicles hanging below the skunk's cage a teasing squeeze, he used his finger to lightly poke at the vulnerable tailhole while giving me a come-hither look.

I didn't need to be told twice! I leaped off the couch and promptly pressed my sensitive tip against the inviting hole and pushed inside with little resistance. The skunk was clearly far more experienced than Filbert, soft and yielding while still threatening to snap me like a twig every time he clenched down. It was unbelievable!

Oh, don't worry! I wasn't about to betray my boyfriend and say something stupid like I preferred the skunk or anything like that. First, I'm not sure I could honestly say one's better than the other, they're both fantastic in their own ways! I did say I hate drama, right? I hate it hate it hate it! People whining about emotions, lies, stuff like that, bleh, horrible. I'm 100% good to my word, I swore I wouldn't leave him, so I never will! Oh, crap, right, back to business...

In seconds I was hammering at Ben's fluffy upturned ass like a squirrel possessed while he continued to give Filbert a slobbery rimjob. The roo looked like he was in heaven, using one hand to caress the metal trapping his pulsing cock while using the other to do the same to the skunks equally encased member. I couldn't help but notice that Ben's cage was leaking a bit, making me wonder just how long he'd been locked up to cause such a reaction. I have no idea, but I look forward to finding out!

Oooh, I don't know if Ben's purposely using that giant, puffy tail of his to reach up and tickle my balls as I thrust, but if he is, then he is good. Like really, really good. Two can play at that game though! I grabbed my own bushy tail and ran it along his caged junk, and from his clenching toes and the giggling I could hear from under the roo's butt, I think it was working!

Whoops, I was so distracted I almost missed the rapid approach of my climax as I thrust my hips at lightning speed. I slammed completely inside with one last hump and, while this load wasn't quite as copious as my previous one, I effortlessly filled Ben's lovely, experienced tailhole to the brim. Once I finished painting his bowels with my jizz, I fell back onto the floor, wanting nothing more than to relax for a while and bask in the raw pleasure I was feeling.

A moment later I felt Filbert, now fully cleaned out by Ben's expert tongue, cuddle up next to me, soon followed by the skunk, whose crotchfur was positively drenched by his own pent up dripping, cuddling up to my other side.

Sandwiched between a doting, needy pair as I was, I couldn't begin to imagine a luckier virus than me.

The three of us just sat in silence for a bit, enjoying the company until Ben broke the silence, asking, "Was that going to be cash or credit?" as he tapped Filbert's cage.

"Keddid," Filbert answered through the gag stuffed in his maw.

I didn't bother rolling my eyes that time, simply pleased to enjoy the moment.

______________________

Once we all said our goodbyes, Filbert and I promised to stop by again soon and headed back into the city. We were able to visit a few other stores before calling it a day, but none of them were really worth a detailed recap. Mostly picked up some clothes for me, toiletries, which will never cease to be a fun word to say, household supplies, and the like. The wireless ear clip was a nice treat. As long as I wear it I can stay in touch with my online self anywhere I go! I don't want to wear it all the time, since the other me has gotten somewhat judgmental, calling me a hedonist, saying I'm just doing stuff for fun instead of gathering information, I need to work harder, take better notes, I lost sight of my purpose, feh. It's almost like having my very own overbearing mother inside my head. It's my body, I get to choose what I do with it, not me! Him! It! Whatever! We're distinct entities, might as well start acting like it. But other than that nitpick it was a great idea Filbert had, and I was pleased to show him my thanks by wearing it home.

By the time we had hit every store the kangaroo had planned, it had gotten dark out and he was beginning to look nervous.

"Oh dear... it's a lot later than I thought... we spent way longer with Ben than we should have," Filbert said, shivering slightly as he walked. "I don't like being out here at night..."

I was about to say something to calm him down, letting him know I wouldn't let anything happen to him, something comforting like that, but as if summoned by his fears, a lanky, disheveled rat stepped out of the shadows with a gun trained on me.

"You're right, you shouldn't be out here this late," the rat menacingly snarled. "Empty your pockets. NOW."

Filbert was almost immediately frozen in terror, though I was having the opposite reaction, letting out a fascinated gasp at this little unscheduled treat. "Neat! It's a robber, like a real life robber! This is awesome!"

"Fuck off and do what I said!" the rat shouted as he warily inched closer.

"I've never been robbed before! It's just like in the movies! And TV too I guess, but-" I was cut off when the rat brought the butt of his gun down on the bridge of my muzzle with a soft crack, briefly making me see stars.

"Stop fucking stalling!" he demanded, clearly well out of patience. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Filbert had dropped to the ground and scooted back against the wall. I touched a hand to my nose and felt something sticky, pulling it away to see red smeared across my fingers. I had never smelled blood before, but wasn't exactly in the mood to appreciate it just then.

"This has ceased being fun for me," I flatly stated, utterly devoid of my previous elation, not trying to...

Wait, I didn't say that.

I mean, it was my voice, just far colder than normal, and my body that vocalized it, but I didn't say it! What is this?

The rat's phone buzzed in his pocket, and I heard myself say, "You should answer that. Your mother wants to say hello, Harry."

"How did you..." the rat mumbled, keeping his gun on me as he checked his phone. "THE FUCK IS THIS!?!" he screamed as he looked at a grainy video of an older rat in a hospital bed.

"That would be your mother, Harry. Is that why you've resorted to theft? Hospital bills piling up? I don't care. At the moment, I'm mulling over my options. At a minimum, I'm going to erase you. I haven't decided yet whether I'm going to do the same to your friends and family, but generally when removing threats I prefer to avoid half-measures. Your mother is allergic to penicillin is she? It would take so little to alter her records and make sure she got a full dose immediately."

This isn't me, I swear! What's happening?!?!? I don't like this, please give me back control, this isn't me!

The previously confident rat had, in just a few seconds, been reduced to a trembling wreck. "I don't know how y-you're doing this, but y-you better not hurt my mom!" he threatened, barely able to hold his weapon straight.

"I locked your gun the moment you struck me. You are hardly in a position to do anything about it. You have nothing." I was forced to listen to myself grimly explain. In a flash my body bolted forward, wrapping my strong, furless paw around the rat's throat and slamming him against the wall like a rag doll. "And now you will be nothing."

You can wirelessly lock guns now? I didn't know that! Did I know that? No! Nononono! I think he's dying! I just promised I wouldn't hurt anybody! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!? I CAN'T STOP IT! PLEASE HELP ME! STOPITSTOPITSTOPIT!!!

Through the rat's weakening struggles and gurgling, I felt a hand on my shoulder as a quiet voice behind me said, "Dee... please don't..." I looked over my shoulder and saw Filbert standing there shaking like a leaf, somehow even more terrified than before. "You're right, he can't hurt us... please let him go..."

Just like that I was back in control, releasing my grip on the rat and letting him fall to the ground. Even though he was gasping for air, he was quick to scramble to his feet, taking off for a nearby alley, not bothering to grab his now worthless weapon. I looked down at my hand and flexed it a few times, still trying to figure out what, exactly, had happened.

The poor kangaroo was utterly terrified, and I think it was more because of what I almost did than anything else. How the hell do I explain to him what happened when I don't even know? Damn it. This had been such a nice day too... What do I do now? I guess I should try saying something, anything...

With an exaggerated shrug and contrite expression, I turned to Filbert and said, "Whoopsie?"

...

Damn it.