Prelude: Part two
Part two out of the six part prelude.
I stood in a courtyard. It was night, but the burning building behind me lit up the darkness, thousands of sparks carried by the wind around me. I was naked except for the collar around my neck and the manacles of broken chains around my wrists. In my hands was the familiar weight of a saber and a dagger, their steel blades covered in blood. So was I, though most of it wasn't mine. At my feet were two figures, side by side on their knees, huddled together, trembling and facing away from me, towards a portal at the entrance to the courtyard. The figure on the left was a child, the one on the right his mother. And I held my blades to their throats, ready to kill them. The courtyard was filled with corpses, Khajiit and Saxhleel slaves in rags, if they had any clothes at all, and Dunmers in chitin armour. Some of the Dunmers were still standing, surrounding me, weapons drawn, but none dared to move. Suddenly, a scream came from the portal. A Dunmer, clad in red robes with intricate symbols, appeared before me at the portal. It was Varron Moren of House Telvanni, Lord of the domain. He approached me, and I immediately increased the pressure on the hostages' throats with my blades, drawing a little blood. I shouted at him, anger in my voice
"One more step and they are dead. And don't think your magic will save them, I'll cut faster than your spell."
He froze, terror in his eyes. Finally he spoke, and for the first time since our first unfortunate meeting, I heard fear in his voice.
"Please, let them go. I'm the one you want.
-You are wrong. You took everything that was precious to me, it feels right that I do the same.
-They're innocent! I'm the one who wronged you, not them!
-They are as guilty as you! The life of joy you built for them was made by stealing the lives of my kin and mine! Thousands torn from their tribes, their families! Every day, from sunrise to sunset, working in the saltrice fields, our lives rhythmed to the sound of the whip! Sentenced to a hell where there was no joy, no love, no hope, where our only future was to die young from the ashes in our lungs! And all for the crime of being inferior to you, in your mind!
-I'm sorry! I'll release you and the others! I'll guarantee you safe passage to Black Marsh, or wherever you wish! But please just let them go!"
He had fallen to his knees, begging me with tears in his eyes. It was what I had dreamed of hearing from him for so many years. Fear. Panic. Helplessness. I went on, pure rage in my voice.
"For years I have fought you, never accepting my fate. Years of humiliation and torture. I thought it was brave to resist you, no matter what punishments were inflicted on me. Every lash across my back was worn as a badge of pride. And then Kelshu came into my life. Beautiful as the sun, pure as the dawn. He made me understand what I didn't want to know, he opened my eyes to what I didn't want to see. There was only room for anger and bitterness in my heart. My defiance was not born of bravery, it was born of hate! For you, but especially for myself, for allowing you to steal everything from me! And everything you took from me, he gave back! Laughter. Happiness. Belonging. Love!"
I was shaking, tears rolling down my face, the anger in my voice mixed with grief and pain. I pointed the tip of my bloodstained saber at him.
"I should have known. I should have known that love was just something else you would steal from me. It was like a drug I was addicted to, I couldn't imagine my life without it. And when you saw it, you took it away from me!
The child at my feet cried in fear and pain. My dagger had cut deeper into his neck, not enough to hit anything vital, but he was still bleeding profusely. I was barely in control of myself. My mind was a whirlpool in which extreme emotions flowed, collided and mixed. But one feeling in particular always remained, rising above the storm in my mind. Grief. A deep feeling of sadness and loss. Varron was still on his knees. The fire burning in his mansion around us illuminated his face with a flickering light. He obviously wanted to charge me, but he knew he couldn't get to me before I killed his family. He was in my power. He continued to plead.
"I will right this wrong, but please don't hurt them!
-There is nothing you can do to repair what you have destroyed, it's too late for that. Kelshu is gone, punished for a crime I committed. You thought that by hurting him you would finally break me, and you were right! I'm broken now. I have nothing left to live for, you have seen to that. I will not leave this farm alive. But I have one last thing to do. Revenge. Kelshu didn't believe in it, but he's dead now, along with any mercy I might have had. Spilling your blood won't make us even. But perhaps theirs will.
With cries of horror from her, I brought the blade of my saber back under the woman's throat and pressed her closer to me until I drew a little blood from her as well. Varron rose to his knees, wild fear in his voice.
"No! Please, calm down! I'll do anything you want! I will give you everything you ask! Let them go and be free!"
I shouted back at him with as much anger as I could muster.
"Then beg for it! Beg, as I begged you when you took Kelshu from me! Beg as I did when you sentenced him to death to punish me! Beg, as I begged you when he was on the stake! And beg as I begged you when you set him on fire and laughed as I watched the love of my life turn to ash!"
He dropped to his knees again and did as I said. It was a cacophony of words. It was funny, in a morbid way, to see such a powerful man reduced to so little. I probably looked the same when I begged him to spare Kelshu and kill me instead, which was one of the things he asked for in his long, disorganised plea. I listened to him for a few minutes, not moving an inch, just a twitch away from killing his wife and child. Finally, though, I had had enough.
"Enough! I have heard all I wanted to hear."
Hope appeared in Varren's eyes. Just what I wanted to see.
"And now weep as I show them the same mercy you showed Kelshu."
And just like that, I crushed any hope he had of saving his family. I looked down at my two hostages. The woman was looking at her child, but the child was looking up at me. He was young, about ten, I guessed. I had my blade at his throat, ready to kill, but I couldn't will myself to move. He was frightened and in pain, but it wasn't that that made me hesitate. It was his eyes. I saw fear and sadness in them. Kelshu had the exact same look in his eyes the last time I was able to hold him in my arms, before the guards took him away from me. It was as if time had frozen in that exchange of glances. Much was said without words. This child hadn't chosen the circumstances of his birth, nor his parents. He had no part in the tragedy that had happened. It felt like an icy finger running down my spine. This was wrong, all of it. But my concentration was broken by a movement in my peripheral vision. Varron had gotten up and was running towards me, realising what I was about to do. My body acted on pure instinct before my mind could protest, and in the blink of an eye it was done. The blades sliced through flesh as if it were butter, and both hostages fell to the ground at my feet with a horrible gargling sound, writhing in pain and shock, their hands clutching their severed throats. The boy was on his back, his warm blood gushing from his severed carotid artery in pulses to the rhythm of his heartbeat and pooling around my feet. Red bubbles formed around the open wound that had been his windpipe as he tried to breathe, but only drowned in blood. His eyes were wide open in shock and he looked straight into mine. Varron had stopped his advance and fallen to his knees a few metres from me, his arms hanging at his sides with no strength in them, as if he had become a rag doll. His mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. This was what I had wanted so badly. My revenge was complete, I had stripped him of what was most precious to him in front of his eyes. I had dreamed of this moment for so long that when it came I thought I would feel joy or pride. That justice had been done and I could finally mourn Kelshu, his death now avenged. As I watched life leave the eyes of the boy at my feet, I felt only shame and loss. I wanted to say something witty, or solemn, or even just scream. Anything. But as I spoke, my voice trembling with sobs, I had no more control over my words than I had over the tears falling from my eyes.
"I... I just want Kelshu back..."
Varren had risen, a fireball forming in his hand. In a roar of rage, he sent it towards me. I didn't even look up at him, nor did I move to dodge, instead I remained fixated on the dead child at my feet. Something hit me hard and I fell.