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Unforgiving

Chapter 53

Zeinara's dreams were making her feverish and aroused. She knew she was dreaming, but she couldn't break free of it. She was breathless, she felt helpless, she felt blind. A red mist rolled around her, everything was blurry and she could barely see. She could only feel the lips on her nipples, the fingers caressing her clitoris to pumping arousal, the gentle, hungry paws that shaped and massaged her. Her breasts were riding as she gasped and panted, and the paws caressed them, shaped them, thumbed her nipples. They were a male's paws, and he was ripping off her clothing, roughly jerking her shirt open, yanking down her pants, tearing her panties in a frantic need to find his way between her thighs. His fingers found the soft, moist lips of her sex and stroked until they were swollen. A helpless sob of arousal escaped her mouth and she clutched at the stranger blindly. His mane was incredibly soft and glowed in the mist and fog like red fire. He buried frantic kisses in her neck as his fingers spread the lips of her sex, and then her body stiffened as the thick width of him slowly sank through her juices. She sighed softly in delight and he gave a long, low moan of pleasure, as if he had finally come to a place he had missed desperately.

"You are you?" Zeinara moaned, arching her back in ecstasy as he pushed deep inside. Her head fell back and he kissed her long neck and soft, jutting breasts.

"I didn't know how to tell you before," he whispered in her ear. ". . . such good pussy. I didn't _mean_to come inside you . . . it was so good, I . . . I couldn't control myself."

Zeinara's lashes fluttered. That voice. She knew that voice! She tried to pull back, tried to look at the stranger, but he clung to her tightly and squeezed her as if for dear life.

"Precious thing," he whispered to her. "Sweet, sweet thing. For the first time in my weary life, I felt I could . . . open myself to someone. I told you my story . . . I almost told you my name."

Zeinara's eyes widened as she realized. "It's you!" This time she pulled back, and he allowed her to look into his eyes. She swallowed hard: it was indeed him. The Son of Mercy. The Ravisher. The one who had made love to her in exchange for a pelt.

"I'm in love with you," he whispered helplessly.

Zeinara frowned. He sounded so sincere, she didn't know what to say.

"I was supposed to kill you," he said. "I . . . couldn't. I made you fall where someone who cared about you would find you. I thought he would take you back to Wychowl."

Zeinara frowned sadly. "Will you tell me your name now?"

His bright, hungry eyes glowed amber in the mist until they were floating, and she realized he was disappearing. She clutched at his dissolving body as if to stop him, but he vanished.

Zeinara awoke with a jolt when Kayya touched her arm. She was burning and aroused and felt ashamed of the fact. Her nipples were jutting through her shirt. She folded her arms to hide, but that only placed her breasts on top of them as if on display, and Kayya glanced at them with discomfort.

"Are you okay?" Kayya whispered. "You were . . . moaning."

Zeinara pushed a paw back through her mane and wanted to die. The others were getting to their feet after a long rest. They had stopped in the tunnel to sleep, though Pili had insisted on keeping watch. Everyone was preparing to set out again. Ettoras affectionately brushed the dust off Yeneneshe, who cast her eyes down beneath his fawning. Shakir lightly tapped Florian on the face to wake him, while Motsumi helped Palesa to her feet. Zeinara saw Wilmer's ghost hovering near Palesa, his eyes glowing and sad as he watched her. Palesa got to her feet slowly and heavily, and when Motsumi asked after her, she assured him she was fine.

"I saw him in my dreams, Motsumi," Palesa said softly, happily.

Motsumi was still carrying his torch and he touched Palesa's shoulder to comfort her. Zeinara saw the smile curl on Wilmer's lips, and she knew he had visited Palesa in her dreams. Nkwe once told Zeinara that the dream world was actually limbo, where spirits went to recycle back into the earth, and that was why spirits could walk in the dreams of the living. It suddenly occurred to Zeinara that the Ravisher . . . was dead.

Pili toyed absently with the red ribbon in her fingers as she studied Zeinara with a small smirk, and Zeinara got the impression she knew the princess had just emerged from an erotic dream. But how could Pili know that? Zeinara dragged her eyes away but was annoyed to see Ettoras watching her as well. Her brother came to her, and she wanted to sink into the floor: now Kayya and Ettoras were studying her in concern.

"You alright?" Ettoras asked Zeinara. "You look . . . flushed."

"Well, I'm not flushed!" Zeinara snapped. How could a dog with black cheeks look flushed anyway? She realized her mane was limp with sweat, and suddenly feeling hot, she unbuttoned her shirt a little. "I'm fine!" she shouted when everyone stared. Ettoras looked at her with hurt and surprise, and she felt ashamed for her sudden anger. Why was she so angry?

"I think she might have a fever," Kayya said anxiously to Ettoras. She looked at him, almost as if she expected him to grab Zeinara and carry her.

"No, Kayya, don't _coddle_me," Zeinara said irritably. "I'm not feverish," she insisted as sweat dripped down her mane.

"She's right," said Florian. "She must be cold, because her nipples are hard enough to drill a _hole_in the bloody wall."

Zeinara tensed. "Florian, I'll thank you to shut your mouth about things you don't understand."

"I don't understand a bitch's nipples, I'll concede," returned Florian, tipping back his flask for a drink.

Shakir scowled and snatched the flask, and Zeinara had to wonder just how much liquor was in the damn thing.

"Oh, come on, love. What's the point being alive if I can't be drunk?" Florian complained.

Shakir only shook his head and refused to give the flask over.

"I suggest we get underway," Pili said quietly.

Kayya frowned. "Aren't you the least bit worried about Zeinara? Look at her!"

"There's nothing _wrong_with me!" Zeinara insisted, though she had to admit: it was indeed odd that Pili didn't seem to care about her wellbeing.

Pili also seemed to realize she was behaving oddly, for she came to Zeinara, and after hesitating, she put her paw on Zeinara's forehead. Zeinara tripped back to escape and hit the wall. She cursed as the pain exploded over the over the back of her head.

"Zeinara!" Kayya cried and reached out to steady the princess.

"By the gods," said Palesa, shaking her head. "What's the _matter_with her?" She drew close as well, and Zeinara could feel Palesa probing her mind for answers. It reminded Zeinara of Mogethis and she threw up her mental defenses at once, forcing Palesa out whip-sharp. She was frightened more than anything that Palesa would realize Wilmer's spirit was there. Wilmer had asked her not to tell.

Palesa's head snapped back, Zeinara had forced her out so hard. She looked at Zeinara in amazement. "Fine!" she cried. "Keep your secrets! I was trying to help you!"

"Whatever is the matter with her," said Pili, "it can not be helped until we are out of this tunnel."

"Agreed," said Motsumi adamantly. "Come, everyone. It can not be far now."

Zeinara was glad when the others followed Motsumi down the passage again and everyone stopped focusing on her. Ettoras walked in front of Zeinara with Yeneneshe, but he kept glancing back to see if she was alright. Kayya walked beside Zeinara and did likewise. But Zeinara was quick to notice that Pili walked far ahead. She had been doing so since their journey in the tunnel began, and it was odd, because Pili would have wanted to keep Zeinara and Kayya apart. She didn't seem the least bit interested in doing so now.

"Are you alright, Zeinara?" Kayya whispered. "Tell me what's wrong. Talk to me!"

Zeinara glanced guiltily at Kayya. The small, curvy vixen was frightened and worried for her. She put her arm around Kayya and stroked her mane. "It's alright, darling," she said. "I'm alright." She jerked her head at Pili's back. "We need to be keeping an eye on my father's assassin. I don't think she's alright."

Kayya followed Zeinara's gaze and her thoughtful brown eyes danced over Pili's back. "What do you mean?"

"Pili's been acting . . . strange," Zeinara elaborated. "But then," she shrugged, "I suppose she's been acting strange for quite some time. Things would have gone better back at Canderly if she'd had her head in the game. She's been distracted . . . even sad, I'd say."

"Maybe she's tired of being an assassin," Kayya suggested.

Zeinara looked at her in surprise.

Kayya shrugged. "Assassins used to come to S'pru to kill Azrian. Sometimes they were spared and sent away. They would be locked up for a while, in a cage in public. The adults wanted us to see them and understand that the foxes on the other world were savage and wild." Kayya shook her head sadly. "They never seemed savage to me, though. Just . . . lonely."

Kayya's words stayed with Zeinara for the next few hours. It had never occurred to her that Pili was tired of being an assassin. It had never occurred to her that Pili might crave intimacy and friendship. But the more she thought about it, the more she realized just how much isolation it took to do the work that Pili did. Pili could not risk having friends or lovers. Her service to Etienne required that she give up everything and everyone.

They stopped again when they came to a stone basin. It was bright blue, sitting on a small pedestal in an alcove carved out of the tunnel wall. The basin was filled to the brim with clean, clear water, and Zeinara knew from Nkwe's stories that such basins were magically self-replenishing, and that most of them were to be found in the temples of Ti'uu, Father of the Water. Someone had placed one of Ti'uu's basins in the tunnel, perhaps to quench the hordes of slobbering dogs who marched from the Summer Valley to destroy the world of fox.

Everyone gathered around the basin for a drink. Florian didn't question the water, and when Zeinara saw him run his flask through it, she realized that his flask was likely magical. Anything he put into probably turned into liquor. Typical. It suddenly occurred to her that he had probably peed in the thing to make more liquor, and she stopped thinking about it.

Shakir was the only one immediately hesitant about drinking. Zeinara hung back, waiting for Pili to bitterly complain about magical fox bowls. To her surprise, Pili didn't complain at all, just walked up to the bowl and took a drink. She even went so far as to splash her face, and Zeinara noticed for the first time that Pili had no kohl around her eyes. Zeinara found that beyond odd. Perhaps Pili was acting strangely because she was sad, Zeinara could believe that. But Pili drinking magic fox water? Pili hated anything and everything magical. And Pili never took her kohl off. She wore it around her eyes constantly and kept a small compact of it in her boot: she always had the eye makeup with her and always wore it. Simon had even given her a compact from Jule's things, as Jule had had an entire collection of "exotic" desert souvenirs.

Everyone cried out in shock and dismay when Zeinara stepped forward and slapped Pili viciously across the face. The blow was so brutal, Pili staggered back into the wall and her mane tumbled in her eyes. She clutched her cheek, looking at Zeinara in open-mouthed astonishment. Blood ran through her fingers where Zeinara's nails had scratched her.

"Zeinara!" Ettoras shouted.

"Zeinara, explain yourself!" Motsumi bellowed, the light of his torch wavering with his breath.

Zeinara pointed a long pink nail at Pili. "That is not Pili. Does that water kill brain cells or something? Look at her!"

The others exchanged glances, and Zeinara knew no one believed her. Even Wilmer's ghost watched Zeinara with eyes that burned with pity.

Zeinara scowled. "I'm _telling_you --!"

"Zeinara," said Kayya, putting a soothing paw on Zeinara's arm. It pained Zeinara that Kayya's paw was shaking: she was afraid of Zeinara. "You're tired," Kayya said. "Come sit d-down with me --"

"It's not her! Bloody hell!" Zeinara snarled and snatched her arm free of Kayya. "Listen to me!"

Kayya backed away, looking hurt.

"So the princess of Varimore has finally lost it," Yeneneshe muttered.

Seeing Kayya's sadness, Ettoras stepped forward. "Zeinara . . ." he said, but he didn't finish his sentence. His eyes traveled to the ceiling and he stood with his mouth open.

Zeinara followed her brother's gaze and froze: the glass ceiling above was cracking. It was going to shatter.

"Move!" Motsumi shouted.

Zeinara choked when Ettoras shoved her out of harm's way. She pulled Kayya with her, and they fell to the floor as glass shards rained from above. The crashing was loud enough to shake the walls as three figures came tumbling down.

Motsumi's torch snuffed out, and they sat in the darkness, listening to each other's pained gasps and moans.

"Azrian . . . there were . . . better ways to do that. . . ." complained a voice.

"Uncle Nkwe!" Zeinara shouted.

"Your majesty?" Pili called.

"Zeinara?" Nkwe called.

"Nkwe?!" Yeneneshe shouted incredulously.

"Yeneneshe?" Nkwe called back. "Where are you!"

"Here!" Yeneneshe sobbed.

"Yes, now that we all know each other's names," said Florian somewhere in the dark, "would someone mind turning on the lights?"

Zeinara heard shuffling as the others tried to find each other, then a light blossomed, and they could see Motsumi holding his torch aloft.

Zeinara struggled up and ran to Nkwe, who staggered to his feet and held his arms open. Their bodies collided, and Zeinara closed her eyes, so happy to feel Nkwe's strong arms around her again. She began to sob desperately and didn't know why. Nkwe stroked her golden mane and shushed her.

"I'm s-so sorry, Uncle Nkwe," Zeinara moaned. "I didn't mean for any of it to happen!"

"I know, light of my life," Nkwe whispered soothingly. "Hush. I'm here now."

"M-Mother?" Zeinara heard Ettoras say.

Zeinara pulled back to see Ettoras staring across the way at Azrian, who seemed paralyzed on the spot. Zeinara thought Azrian looked much the same as she had on the bridge of light, but she was shocked to notice Azrian's wings were completely gone. And instead of her flowing ethereal gown, the Second Light was wearing a furry bearskin coat and pants. She looked as if she'd just come from the tundra.

Ettoras looked torn somewhere between miserable and angry. He didn't go to his mother. He stood beside Kayya and both of them stared at Azrian. Zeinara thought Kayya looked ashamed of herself. Her ears were back flat in her mane, and when Azrian took a step toward them, she dropped to her knees and stayed down like a frightened mouse.

"Rise, child." Azrian frowned sadly and touched Kayya's head. "We are not on S'pru. Do not bow to me."

Kayya rose to her feet, but there were tears in her eyes. "S-Second Light, I'm s-so sorry, I - I tried to protect Ettoras, that's why I went with him --!"

"Hush, girl," Azrian said soothingly. She pulled Kayya into her embrace, and Kayya clung to her like a lost cub. Azrian looked beyond Kayya's white mane, and her eyes when they looked at her son were sad with an unspoken apology.

"I've never even seen your face before," Ettoras said. "Now I don't want to see it." His expression hardened from hurt to anger, and whatever Azrian had done, he was not going to forgive her.

Azrian's eyes dropped to the ground, but before she could say anything, they heard Yeneneshe's cry of pain, and everyone looked around. Hawkeye had grabbed Yeneneshe by the mane and was holding a dagger to her throat. The witch glared at them, her bright, pitiless eyes cutting through the darkness like beacons. Her face was solemn, but when she saw Nkwe, her lips twisted in a smile that revealed her fangs.

Nkwe glared at Hawkeye.

"I am taking Nkwe and the girl with me," Hawkeye announced. "If you are smart," she said, looking at Motsumi, "you will not try to stop me."

"Holy hell," Florian muttered, backing away. "Zeinara was right!"

Motsumi scowled and his eyes shone like solid yellow spheres. "Think about this, Hawkeye," he said, his voice echoing with power. "You are outnumbered."

Palesa's eyes were also glowing, and her bow of light appeared in her paws. She aimed it at Hawkeye's face. "And this time," she hissed, "I won't lose!"

Hawkeye sneered at Palesa, but her eyes went to Nkwe. Nkwe let Zeinara go and stepped in front of her, his face dark. Beside him, Pili's paw was on the dagger in her belt and her face was twisted with hatred.

"So the littlest tramp survived," said Hawkeye, her gaze lingering over Pili.

"Let go of my sister, Hawkeye," Nkwe said in a low voice. "I will only tell you once."

Hawkeye shook her head and frowned at Nkwe miserably. "Look at you going through all this hell. And for what? For the gods? Come with me, Nkwe! We can be gods! Forever in paradise!"

"No," said Nkwe, "we can't."

Hawkeye's bright eyes glistened with unshed tears. She glanced angrily at Pili, whose glower deepened. "So you have made your choice."

"I have," Nkwe said coldly.

Zeinara's brows went up when she saw Pili glance at Nkwe with soft eyes. So Pili liked drinking magical fox water after all . . .

"Why does this feel so intensely like déjà vu?" said a voice at Zeinara's ear, and she knew Wilmer was standing behind her. She glanced over her shoulder to see him grimly shaking his head. He laughed hollowly. "At least I'm already dead this time. Can't get burned to death."

"Let the girl go!" Palesa barked.

Yeneneshe stood stiff as Hawkeye pressed the dagger to her throat, but her eyes were wet, and Zeinara didn't understand why she was on the verge of tears. It baffled her. She had never seen Yeneneshe so afraid before. Ettoras hovered on the edge of it all, looking as if he wanted to dive in, but his mother's paw was on his arm. Zeinara thought Azrian looked very tense . . . and very sad.

Hawkeye's bright eyes were fixed on Nkwe. She ignored everyone else. When Nkwe stood adamant, her fangs flashed in a sob and she jerked her wrist as if she would snatch the blade across Yeneneshe's throat. Nkwe was quick: he tore Pili's dagger from her belt and hurled it. Yeneneshe screamed as the blade sank in Hawkeye's eye. The vixen collapsed in a toss of blood, and Yeneneshe dropped to the floor. Zeinara was shocked when Yeneneshe scrambled to gather Hawkeye's dead body in her arms.

"Why did you have to kill her!" Yeneneshe shouted, tears running down her face.

Palesa lowered her bow, watching Yeneneshe sympathetically. She exchanged baffled glances with Motsumi.

Florian pressed himself against the wall and watched Yeneneshe miserably. Shakir came to him and slipped an arm around him.

Yeneneshe's sobs were loud in the silence. Her head fell back, and strings of saliva stretched between her fangs as she opened her mouth to cry. Zeinara shook her head and didn't understand. She noticed Kayya watching everything with tears in her eyes and put her arm around her.

Yeneneshe bowed her head and her lip trembled as Nkwe took a careful step her way. "W-Why?" she whispered when Nkwe was standing over her. "She l-loved m-me."

Nkwe's ear pricked forward in surprise. "Yen, she --"

"She loved me!" Yeneneshe roared over him, her eyes snapping on him, bright with fury. "You and Mogethis didn't even care enough to find me! But Hawkeye spent her life searching! She wouldn't have hurt me!"

Nkwe swallowed hard. "Yen --"

"If you had paid attention to me," Yeneneshe went on angrily, "instead of blubbering over Zeinara, you would have noticed when she grabbed me!" Her throat flexed, and Zeinara saw the blood running through her fur where Hawkeye's blade had cut. Zeinara ears flattened, and in that moment, she felt terrible for Yeneneshe. She glanced over and noticed Ettoras crying freely, his entire body tense, as if the only thing keeping him from running to Yeneneshe was Azrian's paw on his arm.

Nkwe blinked miserably and knelt down beside his sister. He raised his paw, and when Yeneneshe flinched from him, he paused, and his eyes were pained. But he ignored her anger and placed his paw on her throat. His fingers glowed, and as he healed her, she sniffled quietly and dropped her eyes. When he was through, Nkwe stood again. He placed an affectionate paw on her white mane and said hoarsely, "I hope one day you can forgive me."