I Swear I’ll Bring You A Rose Next Year
This was essentially the last poem of the year at the time I wrote it. It’s about grief, regrets and unfortunate circumstances. Was reflecting on this moment from a trip I took to DR in the same month I finished this. At the time I had hoped getting this out would ensure more positivity in the coming year. How that played out isn’t relevant to this poem itself. Originally posted this in December 2022.
I Swear I'll Bring You A Rose Next Year
By: A.X. Bueno
I was hoping to finally find you
This was the first time in a while we truly tried
It's been a few years past a decade since you tragically died
But despite all that time I've still never actually visited your grave
I wish I could say that there's a good reason and I've tried hard to fix that but it'd only be a false save
The simply facts are that I didn't know you well enough in life and neither did mom
Still we had time this trip to try and find you and I was hoping that would be some kind of balm
In regards to only meeting you a handful of times
All but one of which is a blur which has always been a surreptitious sadness for me
To not only barely know you but to not even know where you now eternally rest feels like a crime
I was hoping to finally be able to give some sort of goodbye as I took a knee
We came close, we tried hard to find you because you're important family
I was going to lay down a rose, we'd all say our peace and then be on our way
But it's been such a long time and we weren't fortunate enough to find you that day
And we also had other places to be and another member to visit and give fonder farewells
For we knew him better thanks to how things were but there's a lot that tragedy alone won't dispel
I wish things had been better and that I had known you more but I can't let that be all that dwells
I had hoped that we could find where you're buried to at least leave a flower
And that would help thoughts like that fade but our trip isn't long and we only have so many hours
So we left the cemetery and I felt a bit defeated but I know soon enough we'll be back here
But I swear I'll bring you a rose, maybe even a whole bouquet of flowers when we return next year