FSE

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The party walked in from the hilly plains with a pillar of black smoke rising behind them. Annilea the paladin had some fresh scratches on her armor and Rodney the mage had a lot of dirt on the back of his cloak and his pants.

Tippy the squirrel though was shaken by the ferocity of the battle. His eyes hung low and he shivered.

Dorter the swordfish, a swordsman of his own right, looked over at Tippy. The squirrel was shaken from that battle. Dorter laughed and sided closer to Tippy. "Looks like the chosen hero wet his pants!"

Tippy looked down, having to make sure that he had not, before return his eyes to Dorter and scowling. "No I didn't!"

Ethlyn, a parrot with dark colors, let out a horse laugh before taking the Tippy's side opposite to Dorter. "Guess the diapers fit well, then!"

This got another laugh.

Dorter sniffed into the air. "Actually, I think I smell a load of squirrel poop!"

Many laughed. The oldest of the bunch, Bruscilda the utahraptor, cut in front of Dorter and Ethlyn, scowling. "That's enough!"

"Come oonnnnn!" said Dorter, shrugging. "We were just playing."

Bruscilda gestured at Tippy. "The chosen one demands respect." She was saying it more to herself than to her comrades. The wimpy squirrel that the heavens declared the Chosen One-- Bruscilda felt the gods could have chosen a more suitable hero for the realm. The journey thusfar had been a series of scares and shocks for the nervous young man, and while the most recent battle hadn't scared Tippy so bad that he soiled himself, that was usually not the case.

Bruscilda sighed. "We're almost at the camp. Let's carry on."

Dorter and Ethlyn laid off and moved away from Tippy. They continued their walk in peace.

They arrived at the clearing and they got setting up camp. Some of them hung out before going to bed, but Tippy was quick to collapse-- exhausted from battle. He took off his leather jerkin and slipped into a sleeping back in his shirt and pants.

But as the night grew quiet and Tippy settled into his sleeping bag, the squirrel's body relaxed. At first, he let out a quiet fart, but then his feet started to twitch, his nose wiggled, and then something let go. The silence of the night was broken by a quiet hiss and little trickles. Inside Tippy's sleeping bag, wetness was spreading down the bottom of his pants, forming a liminal pool on his bag before soaking into the fabric and leaving a wet splotch across the bottom.

Tippy didn't notice, the squirrel staying in dreamland while his bladder emptied itself. The liquid trailed down his legs and spread out, soaking the bottom his shirt too.

Once the bladder was empty, the puddle soaked into the sleeping bag and Tippy continued to sleep peacefully, drooling on his pillow.

"Tippy, wake up," said Bruscilda, sounding annoyed.

"Wuh?" Tippy moved only a bit and he felt wetness in his pants. [i]He didn't[/i]! But he did. He leaned up, stickiness on his fur and pulled open his sleeping bag, revealing wet spreads all the way down his leg and on the floor of his bag.

"Uhhh... oops," said Tippy.

Tippy's other tent mate, Dorter, saw Tippy with pissed pants and snerked, dropping his bag to walk over to Tippy and witness his night time accident. "Did you wet the bed!?"

The squirrel kept quiet, knowing that any word would be used against him. He peeled out his pants, the slimy fabric pulling away from wet fur. The squirrel most certainly wet the bed.

Bruscilda dipped her head into her hand and shook it. "Honestly, Tippy. I wasn't expecting the Chosen One to be so..." she looked down his pants... "incontinent."

"I didn't mean to!" said Tippy. "I didn't make myself pee while I was asleep."

Dorter hopped out of the tent to tell everyone that their Chosen savior had tinkled the sheets. Everyone got a good chuckle out of it and laughed when Tippy left the tent with his thoroughly peed pants very visible.

He was the first one down by the river side to wash himself that morning, and he was glad to be alone.

The caravan moved on. They packed up and carried along down the road. Tippy found some clean clothes and put on his leather jerkin, heading towards a magic city along the coast.

Dorter came over to Tippy, elbowing him. "Good news, Chosen One. I hear they sell diapers in your size!"

There was snicker from Ethlyn. She came over. "Maybe we can sign him up for potty-training at a kindergarten!"

Bruscilda would usually break up such taunting, but she was at her limit. The Chosen One had peed the bed, like a toddler. She couldn't excuse such babyish behavior. She reluctantly surrendered to not interfering.

Tippy scowled. "Have some respect! I'm the chosen One, aren't I? You should be nice to be-- I'm saving the world!"

"That I'm not sure," said Dorter. "If you are the Chosen One, I think you would be a little mightier than someone you pees their pants all the time... even when you sleep!"

This got a chuckle out of everyone. Tippy sighed. Maybe they were right. The walk to town was quiet after that.

Why was he the Chosen One? Tippy asked himself. The gods must have had better ideas of Chosen Heroes then a backwater squirrel boy who responds to most danger by suspending bowel control. And the travels had made Tippy a nervous wreck, hence the bed-wetting issue. Tippy needed answers, so after the party turned in at the inn, Tippy went to the nearest temple. It was a large one from the Classic Age with stained-glass windows.

Tippy went inside and there's was hardly anyone around, he saw a cleric near the front: an old crane man in a robe.

The crane man, Yespud, saw the approaching squirrel.

"Greetings," said Yespud. "How may I help you t--" but then Yespud stopped. "Wait... A gray squirrel?" Yespud recognized the emblem on Tippy's shoulder too-- "You are the Chosen One!"

Tippy sighed then cracked half a smile. "You don't seem surprised."

"Why would I?" asked Yespud.

"Don't I not look like a Chosen One?" asked Tippy.

Yespud chuckled. "It's not for me to question the will of the gods. If you are the Chosen One, then you are."

"I don't feel like one," said Tippy sitting down on the stairs by the podium.

"Is that so?" asked Yespud.

"I'm bad at this," he quiever. He got the courage to be a little more honest, "I... pee my pants pretty much every battle!" He sank his head. "And now I'm wetting the bed too!"

"So?" asked Yespud.

"[i]So...![/i]" Tippy got up, curling his fists in anger. "If I'm the Chosen One, why am I pissing my pants?"

Yespud chortled. "What does soiling oneself have to do with being the Chosen One. If you slay the dark lord Fempetemp, then that's all there is to it. Hygiene notwithstanding."

Tippy relaxed. There was no fighting that logic. He looked around the cathedral. In the windows were the figures of famous heroes, many Tippy knew. There was Barbar the warrior, Shenron the wise, and Qalit the strong.

"It's hard to imagine I have anything in common with people like these," said Tipyy.

"[i]Ohhhhhh,[/i]" said Yespud. "But you do!"

"Howso?" asked Tippy.

Yespud walked over to one of the displays. It was Barbar the warrior, a regal lion man with a large body and a handsome profile. "Here's Barbar. Reunited the tribes of Parhara and felled the Brachidij dragon with only his sword and shield."

"Are you telling me he peed his pants all the time?" asked Tippy, disbelief in his voice.

"No," said Yespud, "because he wore diapers."

"What?"

Yespud turned to Tippy, calm grin on his face, and nodded. "He wore diapers. All the time. By the end of his journey, he has detrained himself from continence. The man wasn't housebroken for the rest of his days." A big smile got on Yespud's beak. "Ladies lined up to change the man's diapers!"

Tippy didn't know what to say! A large handsome, mighty man like Barbar, a diaper wearer? It was unbelievable!

"He would [i]fill[/i] his diapers," said Yespud, "and the magics in his body would enchant the product he lay. After disposing his pads, glorious fruits would grow from his 'fertilizer'."

Tippy was silent. Yespud walked him down to another display-- one of Shenron the wise. The bison lady sat with a wizard's cloak draped over her shoulders.

"Did Shenron wear diapers too?" asked Tippy.

"No," said Yespud. "She relieved herself into her pants casually."

"What do you mean casually?"

"She... went," Yespud cracked a grin and shrugged. "One minute she would be walking, the next there would be streams down her pants. She didn't care. Legends tell that she was fed up with holding it and stopped."

Yespud listed off other heroes: Marth who sucked his thumb whenever he could, Hera the ready who soiled herself before every bad so she wouldn't be distracted, and Tybalt the jovial you peed his pants in celebration everytime the heroes pulled off a mighty win.

"History does away with details," said Yespud, "and the continent habits of our legendary warriors are details, I assure you."

Tippy rubbed his neck. "I just wish my 'allies' would stop making fun of me."

Yespud nodded and placed a hand on Tippy's chest. "Oh, they will in time. All it takes is a few soiled pairs of their underwear for them to be humbled."

Tippy giggled.

Yespud shook his head. "The battlefield is no place to be worrying about continence. All warriors know that."

Tippy let those words stick with him. Was it only a matter of time before he saw Dorter with streaks going down his slacks? Would he soon smell an expelled load from Ethlyn. Even Bruscilda-- would Tippy witness his wise mentor have an accident?

The squirrel felt better, and got up from the floor.

"Thanks for the talk," said Tippy.

"Now go out," said Yespud, "and continue your journey. I'm sure you'll save the day!"

"Thanks," said Tippy.

The squirrel left, leaving Yespud alone. Yespud was sure that the squirrel, wet pants or no, would be a hero worthy of the title Chosen One.

Then, Yespud looked to see if Tippy was still around. He was not. Yespud groaned. "Gods curse me! I forgot to ask if the 13-inch penis rumors were true!"

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